How To Break Up With An Alien

by Magan Vernon

  "Yeah, I wish my ex could hear this," Simone muttered.

  "He really doesn't know what he is missing out on." I smiled.

  "You don't know what you've got till it's gone."

  I tried not to choke on my potato wedge."You aren't going to go up there and start singing with her are you?"

  Simone grinned and threw a piece of lettuce at me. "No, you big goof."

  I opened my mouth to respond, but felt my phone vibrating inside my pocket. I slid it out and unlocked the screen.

  Where are you? I've been sitting in your room for an hour.

  "Boyfriend?" Simone asked.

  I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, sorry."

  Out with a friend, be back later. I texted him back and slid my phone back into my pocket. If he could get away with always being late and too busy to care about Fall Ball, then I could enjoy some human time.

  "Does he always need to know where you are?"

  I shrugged. "I usually don't get out too much."

  "So you're telling me this is the most excitement that you've had besides phone sex with your boyfriend?" She wiggled her eyebrows.

  "Ew!" I laughed. "Not quite like that."

  We finished our meals and headed outside. The temperature dropped enough so that a comfortably cool summer breeze caressed the bare skin of my arms. Even with all the streetlights, the stars still shone brightly in the sky.

  A group of guys stumbled out of a bar a few doors down, leaning on each other and laughing like they had just heard the funniest thing in the world. There were five of them and each one carried the strongest scent of cologne and alcohol. Simone and I made a point to walk near the art gallery that was across from the bar.

  "Hey, Elvira, why you gotta be like that?" One of the guys yelled. He had douche bag hair, the kind that was overly gelled and didn't move, like a Ken doll's.

  The rest of his friends let their bloodshot eyes trail in our direction. I tried to walk faster. Not only were their cat calls annoying, but I was afraid of what was on the mind of five drunken guys who saw a couple of teenage girls walking alone.

  "Yeah, if you prefer some sparkly vampires, I can put some glitter on my balls for you!" Another guy laughed, swinging his hips, his greasy hair flailing around his head.

  "Ugh, boys." I rolled my eyes. "Let's get out of here." I pulled Simone's elbow and tried to edge her toward the car.

  But Simone didn't keep walking. She stopped, moved my hand, and did an about-face, walking right up to the greasy haired guy.

  His chapped lips parted into a scummy smile. One like the villains always had in cheesy cop shows. "Hey, baby, you gonna take me up on that offer?"

  I ran up to try and stop the guy from grabbing Simone, but before I got there she launched her hand out and grasped the front of his jeans. A sound like a dying rabbit came from his mouth as he kneeled down before her.

  "Let's get this straight, glitter boy." She looked down at him, not letting go of his pants. "Where I come from we respect women, and nobody, I mean nobody, wants to hear you spew your nasty dribble. Got it?"

  He nodded, all the color leaving his face before Simone released her grip and he fell to the street below.

  "Come on, Alex, let's get out of here."

  Without looking back she turned and looped her arm through mine as we headed toward her car. Suddenly I had a whole new respect for the lead barista and possibly my new best friend.

  Chapter 9

  I hadn't really had any dreams since I left Circe. I used to have nightmares when the queen of Calta was sleep creeping on my dreams. Once those had stopped, so had any form of a dream.

  My visions blurred to the streets of New York: images of me walking with a coffee in one hand and a copy of Tolstoy in the other as I strolled near the streets of Columbia's campus. I saw a small studio apartment decorated with posters from Broadway musicals. Articles I'd written for the school newspaper covered the entire fridge. It was a life I had almost forgotten about.

  "Alex."

  Brody was even in my dream. His voice was soft and cool. He spread his long body next to me on the tiny twin-sized bed while a pair of birds sang outside the window.

  "Alex."

  His fingers were warm against my cheek. His palm slid down and cupped my chin while his fingertips traced my lip line.

  "Alex."

  His words breathed onto my lips and smelled of coffee and spearmint gum. I'd always thought Brody was hot, but never really had much of a sensual attraction to him. But in the dream all I wanted to do was reach out and feel his tanned skin against mine.

  "Alex."

  His lips were right there. Smooth and dusted with trace amounts of Chapstick. I wanted them against mine. It was a dream after all; it didn't count as cheating if my lips just happened to touch his.

  "Alex."

  I slowly inched forward, parting my lips and waiting for his warm mouth to open into mine.

  "Alex, wake up. What are you doing?"

  My eyes snapped open and it wasn't Brody in some New York apartment, but Ace in my bed in Winnebago.

  "Uh, what?"

  I rubbed my eyes and grabbed my glasses from the nightstand.

  "I thought you were having a dream that you were eating a hot dog or something. You came at me with your mouth wide open."

  I shook my head, getting rid of the lingering thoughts. Brody, New York, and most of all Columbia.

  "No, just a silly dream. I've already forgotten all about it."

  He sat there on my bed, his back pressed against the wall and those dark eyes staring daggers at me. "Where were you last night?"

  "What?" I yawned, stretching my arms over my head.

  "I've barely seen you all week and when we plan to spend time together you don't get home until after midnight."

  I got off the bed, shaking my head and pulling down my sleep shorts that were riding up to my belly button. "I told you, I went out with a friend from work."

  "So, you leave me here to go gallivanting around with someone you just met?"

  I rolled my eyes, grabbed a brush from my desk, and started pulling the tangles out of my hair. "Are you saying you don't want me to have friends? It's not like you haven't left me waiting before."

  Ace sighed, getting off the bed and standing before me. He was almost a foot taller than me and his body was molded of pure muscle that even he couldn't hide under his temperature control suit. "I'm sorry I guess I'm just not use to this not getting to see you when I want thing."

  He leaned over, his fingers running through my hair. The warm grasp from his fingertips automatically sent a buzz from my hair and through my scalp. I could have dreams about Brody all I wanted, but it was always Ace's touch that sent my body into hyper shock. "I guess that will change next year when you are at college."

  "Yeah." It was all I could manage. I couldn't dare tell him that ever since I talked to Mrs. Huff I had been thinking about Columbia.

  "Why don't you get ready and then we can spend the day together? It is Saturday after all. We could meet somewhere private, no one can find us. Just you and me."

  "Oh, uh, well actually I have to work," I said carefully.

  "But it's the weekend." He arched an eyebrow, tilting his head ever so slightly.

  "Yeah, but not everyone gets the weekends off. Remember my dad didn't qualify as a resident for Arizona, so I've got to figure out a way to help with my out-of-state tuition to Northern Arizona somehow." It came out snarkier than I intended, but I couldn't help it. Anytime I wanted to hang out with him he always had to work and now he was griping at me for doing the same thing.

  "Okay." He nodded. "But we still have tonight after you get off work, right?"

  I thought for a moment. I knew I didn't have any plans, but I always thought it was better to keep him waiting. "I can probably arrange that."

  A large bang followed by the shuffling of feet came down the hallway. Elijah was up and we only had a few minutes before he either burst into my room or ran into the k
itchen to grumble for some breakfast.

  "I guess I'd better get going, so you can head to work." He looked down at me. I could tell by his deep stare that he didn't want to leave and wanted me to say something more.

  "I guess." I breathed and stood on my tiptoes to lightly kiss his lips. "I will text you at work and try to see you tonight."

  He nodded, moving his hands to briefly graze mine before he stepped to the other end of my bed. "I will see you tonight. Love you."

  "Love you, too."

  With that he held his hands together and disappeared in a stream of blue light.

  I let out the air that I didn't know I was holding in, set down my brush, and headed out of my room and into the kitchen. Elijah was already up and sitting on the recliner watching cartoons while mom sat at the kitchen table staring blankly at her laptop.

  "Do you think someone would actually believe in an alien and human romance?" mom asked, not looking up from the screen.

  "Um, what?" I blinked. Did she know something?

  "My agent wants me to try to break into the science fiction market and write an alien and human romance."

  "Oh, ha." I turned away and grabbed a box of cereal from the cupboard.

  "It is simply ridiculous. Who would ever believe that an intelligent life form from another planet would want to date a human?" Mom ran her fingers through her hair and closed her laptop. Even in the morning with her thick glasses and worn-out black sleep shirt she still looked like she just walked off the runway. Somehow I just inherited her bad eyesight instead of her flawless skin and fast metabolism.

  I shrugged, staring at my bowl and trying not to give anything away in my face. "If you can create characters in Regency England that fall in love with dukes and commoners alike, then I'm sure you will come up with something."

  "Speaking of dukes." She smiled and plopped a big white envelope with Columbia in the return address label on the table in front of me. "This came in the mail yesterday."

  I arched an eyebrow. "What does this have to do with dukes?"

  "Oh, just open it!"

  I picked up the envelope. It was heavier than I expected. Slowly I tore open the top and dumped out the contents. Out plopped the freshman course catalog and a letter with the first word being Congratulations.

  "Oh! I didn't know you were still interested in Columbia!" mom squealed and picked up the letter, her eyes scanning over each word.

  "I, um, well I'm not." I picked up the course catalog. It smelled like lamination and the embossed letters of the Columbia logo stood out like a desert flower.

  "You just got into your dream school and you still want to settle for some school in the middle of the desert?" Mom pushed the catalog down and forced me to look at her.

  "Well Northern Arizona does have a great Public Relations program…"

  She rolled her eyes. "Oh, come on, don't try and pull the wool over my eyes, Alexandra. I know you just want to go there because of that older boyfriend of yours."

  "Mom, that isn't the only reason." I stood up, frustrated with my own thoughts. Was it the only reason I was shying away from my dream school? Of course not. I loved Ace, but there were other reasons. At least I thought I had other reasons before I saw the acceptance letter from Columbia.

  "I'm just saying that maybe you should look at your other options. Don't settle."

  I nodded, unsure of what else to say. Did she think I was settling with Ace?

  "I'm not saying that you can't enjoy your high school years." Mom stood up, pulling down her bunched up pajama bottoms."Just keep your options open."

  Chapter 10

  It was my first Saturday working and it was packed. Several times I gave people the wrong order and dealt with a lot of complaining women who couldn't even bother putting down their cell phones to scream at me.

  "It's your first Saturday. Don't worry, you'll get used to it." Simone patted me on the back while I wiped down the espresso machine.

  As if this day couldn't get any worse, the bell rang over the front door and in came my mom. "Hello!"

  Great, I'd already embarrassed myself enough in front of Simone and now my overly dramatic mother had to be added to the mix.

  "Hey, Mom." I mumbled, glancing up from the espresso machine.

  "It's good to see that you are hard at work." Mom slid up to the counter, her big black laptop bag slung over her shoulder and her obnoxiously large sunglasses perched on top of her head. This couldn't be good. This meant she was staying for awhile.

  "Um, shouldn't you be working or something too?"

  Mom scanned the giant menu board behind me. "Alexandra, sometimes I just need a little caffeine and a change of scenery when I'm working on a new book." She looked down at me and smiled. "And what better place to work than a coffee shop?"

  I opened my mouth to speak while Simone slid in beside me. "Alex, I'm going to take my break. Do you think you can handle the register by yourself for awhile?"

  "Oh! Is this the new friend you were out with last night?" mom gushed like I'd never had a friend before. She should have realized that it was hard to bring anyone around an overly dramatic mother. One time I brought a new friend over in middle school and she asked her if her parents would like free copies of her books. Later that friend told me she wasn't allowed to hang out with me anymore because my mom gave her porn.

  Simone turned toward my mom and put on a big smile. "Yes, that would be me. Sorry if I got her in too late."

  Mom returned the smile. "Oh, not too late at all! I'm just glad to see Alex get out of the house!"

  Simone nodded. "Alright, well since you have this taken care of, I'm heading to Subway. Back in fifteen."

  Mom watched Simone saunter out the door and then turned back to me. "Aside from all the makeup, she seems lovely!"

  I rolled my eyes, desperate to change the subject off Simone. "Have you picked out what you wanted?"

  "Oh! Well I think I'll just have a tall flavored coffee." She handed me her credit card and I swiped it before handing it back to her with a foam cup for the coffee station near the pastry case. At least we called it a coffee station. It was more like just a row of carafes of different coffees and some cream and sugar on the side.

  "I'll just be sitting right over here in the corner, writing. You won't even notice me!" She beamed while filling up her cup and then headed to one of the tables by the window.

  "Whatever," I muttered. I pretended to be interested in something else, so I wouldn't have to watch my embarrassing mother.

  The bell rang over the door. Crap. Simone was gone and I wasn't real good at handling things by myself yet.

  "Hey, Alex." Brody's wide grin appeared over the pastry case.

  "Hey, Brody." I smiled back and noticed my mom watching us over her laptop. As soon as my eyes met hers, she pretended to be diligently typing away at her laptop. Like that really ever worked. I knew she was staring and she knew I caught her.

  "Man, you are always working!" He stretched his arms over his head. I tried not to let my eyes wander down to the treasure trail that lingered below his belly button once his shirt was lifted.

  I shook the inappropriate thoughts about Brody's treasure trail out of my head and stared back up at him. "Yeah, I've got to pay my tuition for Northern Arizona somehow."

  "Northern Arizona? I thought you were going to some school in New York?"

  "Well, my dad and boyfriend live out there and they have a good PR program."

  He arched an eyebrow. "You are choosing the desert over NYC because of a guy?"

  My mom's ears perked up. I saw her blond head bob over the laptop. This was what she had been assuming ever since I came back from Circe. Little did she know how much more Ace actually was than just some guy I met over the summer or how our relationship almost caused the end of existence on Earth.

  I shook my head, smiling. "No, there is a lot more to it than that."

  "Okay, I guess I'll let you off the hook for now, but you should do something for me th
en."

  I tilted my head, feeling the heat rise to my face. Surely he wouldn't ask me for a sexual favor in front of my mom? Not that I would oblige or anything. "Uh, I did just say I have a boyfriend, didn't I?"

  He laughed. "Get your mind out of the gutter! I was just going to say that I am having a bonfire at my place tonight, so you and that redheaded chick that works here with you should come. I guess Brad Gage wants to bang her or something and wanted me to invite you all."

  "Uh, okay." I blinked. "I don't know what Simone's plans are, but I can ask."

  "Okay, cool." He nodded and then headed out just as Simone stepped in, sipping a drink from a Subway cup.

  Simone shook her head and came in behind the counter. "I swear that guy wants to jump your bones. He could be a little less obvious about it."

  "Well he actually came by to invite us to a party."

  "Really?" She set down her drink and put her apron back on.

  "Yes, and I think you two should both go!" my mom yelled from her table. Of course she heard every word of our conversation.

  "Well if your mom thinks we should go..." Simone shot me a wink and I glared at her.

  "You can even take my car!" mom added, peering over her laptop.

  My mom barely ever offered to let me take her car. What the heck was going on?

  "If your mom is giving us the keys we really can't refuse."

  I let out a deep breath. I had already ditched Ace once and we were supposed to see each other again tonight. He had texted me earlier and said he had something special planned, but last time he said that he showed up five hours late carrying a box of cereal.

  "Come on Alex." Mom stood up and walked over to the counter. "It is your senior year. You can't spend every night cooped up in your room on the phone with your boyfriend."

  I looked from my mom's pleading eyes to Simone's attempt at hiding a smile.

  "Fine." I huffed. "We will go."

  I suddenly wondered what was more dangerous, a high school party or ditching an alien for the second time in a row.

  Chapter 11