by Anne Hampson
'Please, let me speak to him,' begged Paula.
Ignoring her request, Ramon picked up the receiver.
'Let me speak to him,' pleaded Paula again.
'Yes, my wife is here, but she has nothing to say to you.' Ramon's imperious voice was a rasp on Paula's ears. She hated him for not listening to her plea. 'I'm afraid not. Good afternoon.' As the receiver clicked into place Paula experienced a fierce, uncontrollable urge to retaliate and without one second's hesitation she lifted her hand and struck him across the cheek.
The dark foreign eyes blazed, then fixed hers in a piercing stare of disbelief. She expected a shaking, but instead she was gripped painfully by the wrist and jerked roughly against the granite hardness of his chest, her breasts flattened, her bones almost cracking under the strain. Her head was jerked back when he cupped her chin, and her mouth ravaged with brutal and primitive uncontrol. Sheer rage drove him and she was crying softly when at last he let her go. She closed her eyes against the blazing fury of his gaze, and the tears oozed from between her lashes to roll one after the other down her pallid cheeks. A sob escaped her, and yet again she knew a wild and fierce desire to be revenged on him.
'I'm—going h-home,' she quavered, putting her face in her hands and weeping into them. 'Don't ask me to stay here—don't try to make me! I shall scream if you do. I've had as much as I can stand and I want to get away from you!'
'I'll take you home,' he offered, fury causing his voice to vibrate. 'Just let that be a lesson,' he warned, as if he had to. 'Never has a woman done a thing like that to me before—'
'Well, you did say I was different!' she reminded him with an unexpected spurt of courage. 'I shall do it again if I feel like it!'
'To your cost,' he gritted. 'I've warned you already that you haven't seen the worst of me.'
'I'm going home,' she said again, then added before he could speak, 'and alone. I couldn't bear your company for another minute!'
'You're in no fit state to go out alone,' he began when, taken unawares, he was pushed against her desk and she was at the office door, wrenching it open. The long lobby was ahead and she knew he would catch her. Wildly she glanced around, saw the ladies rest room and dodged into it. There was another door, leading to another corridor and she was through it in seconds. She never stopped until she had reached the street and when she turned her head Ramon was nowhere in sight. With a pounding heart and rioting pulse she found a seat beneath a tree and sat down, wondering if her nerves would ever be right again. It was too much; life could not go on like this, she decided. She would get away; it was the only logical thing to do.
It was an hour later, when she was strolling along a narrow street in the old city, that she caught sight of Denis, looking into the window of a souvenir shop. She stopped, scarcely able to believe her luck, and only now aware that, subconsciously, she had been looking for him.
'Denis!' She had run to him, afraid he would move and be lost to her sight in the press of people milling about. 'Oh, it's a—a relief to see you—' She stopped to get her breath back, aware of his surprise, his pleasure and his concern.
'Paula, dear, what happened? Your husband—he was obviously not allowing you to speak to me.'
She glanced around fearfully, as if expecting Ramon to appear at her side.
'Let's find somewhere quiet, and secluded,' she begged. 'Oh, Denis, it's been awful—you have no idea! She started to cry and felt the comfort of his arm about her shoulders.
'Don't cry, darling; we'll sort it all out when you've explained. I've been so troubled, not knowing how to get in contact with you, and this must be fate—our meeting like this. I'm taking you over to that car park. I hired a car after I left you earlier, thinking it would be nice for us to have a run around the countryside before we went to dinner.'
'A car. What a good idea.' Ramon would never find her, she thought, sagging with relief as she got into the passenger seat and leant back against the upholstery. Denis slid in beside her and with a crunch of rubber on gravel they were moving off the car park and on to the road leading to the forest of El Yunque.
Chapter Nine
Denis drove in silence until he reached a place where he could draw right off the road and tuck the car away out of sight. They were in the forest or, rather, on the edge, and the sun was beginning to drop, its long slanting rays picking out the raindrops on the foliage which almost surrounded the car. He turned to Paula, his anxious eyes scanning her face. She had had time to regain some of her composure and there was little evidence either of her tears or the violent scene which had been enacted in the office only a few moments before she had managed to escape.
'Tell me all about it,' encouraged Denis soothingly, as if he were speaking to a child. 'You almost looked as if he had used violence on you.'
Her lip quivered and it was a while before she began to speak. She did begin eventually, and continued uninterrupted till the end.
'I've run away,' she said finally, 'but what do I do now?'
He remained silent for a space, his good-natured face thoughtful and anxious.
'If only you could come with me,' he said. 'I wonder if they are taking on new passengers here. They've been taking them on at some of the other islands we've stopped at, so I don't see why you can't get a cabin. We'd have to make haste, though, as the travel agencies will be closing very soon.'
She was shaking her head.
'I can't make a decision that quick, Denis. Besides, all my clothes are at the casa; I could scarcely go on board a cruise ship with nothing but what I'm standing up in. I've no money, either. It's all there, in the house.'
He frowned and gave a deep sigh.
'What are we to do, then?'
'I shall have to go back,' she faltered, a fit of trembling seizing her at the thought of returning to a husband whose temper was bound to be at its height. Even at this moment he must be fuming at her managing to elude him. He would ask her where she had been, and without a doubt she would find herself confessing that she had met Denis and accepted a ride in his car.
'Can you manage to get your clothes and money out without his knowing?'
She shook her head, saying that such a thing was impossible.
'He'll watch my every move from now on,' she predicted in a desolate tone of voice. She turned her head and Denis turned his at the same time. His lips met hers in a long and tender kiss, and their, arms came about each other.
'Paula, dear, what are we going to do?'
She gave a sigh, drew away from him and met his anxious gaze hesitantly.
'Denis… I know you will think I'm crazy, but—but I can't make up my mind whether I want to leave Ramon or not—'
'Can't make up your mind!' he exclaimed, flabbergasted. 'Paula, what on earth is wrong with you?'
She swallowed the saliva collecting on her tongue.
'I felt at first that I wanted to stay with him and find some way of punishing him, but then, today, I decided it was best to leave him, because he frightened me so much.' She paused and shook her head distractedly. 'Now, though, I can't bear the thought of leaving him.'
'Because you think Rosa will step in?'
She shook her head.
'No. I'm sure he meant it when he said he'd finished with her. He'd never marry Rosa now.'
'Then why can't you bear to leave him?' He looked at her frowningly and she could not answer. 'It's because you love him?'
She caught her underlip between her teeth.
'Yes,' she replied forlornly, 'I expect that is the 'reason. He asked me to say I'd stay with him, and I did.'
'That was before he treated you so violently, I take it?'
'Yes, it was.'
'Are you willing to be ill-treated, Paula?' he inquired, and there was no mistaking the hint of contempt in his voice.
She coloured at the implication.
'You despise me? You think I am one of those women who like to be subjugated?'
'I can't think what this man has done to you.
' There was a baffled expression on his face. 'Whatever his hold over you, it's unhealthy. He's totally dominant and that isn't today's trend. Woman have been fighting subjugation for a long while and they've gained equality at last, It's not natural for you to accept domination, especially from a man who has admitted openly that he has no love for you. Why, you're returning to the primitive!' he flashed in disgust.
The primitive… When man was master and woman obeyed his every whim and wish. Was that to be her life if she decided to stay with Ramon? Must she bow her will to his? His face flashed before her, a face carved in a proud and classic mould, an arrogant face which rarely softened, its eyes hard as flint, its mouth full-lipped, sensuous… Her reverie was broken by Denis winding down his window. The atmosphere vibrated with the high-toned drilling of cicadas. It had rained recently but now the road was drying, and had it been earlier in the afternoon a cloud of steam would have been rising from it, for this was tropical forest domain. A brightly-plumed parrot flitted through the branches of a tree, screeching as it disappeared into the dense, jungle vegetation.
All was silent; she recalled the day she had come up here with Ramon; she had been in a much happier frame of mind then.
'Well,' Denis said at last, 'have you made up your mind?'
She looked at him in profile, and knew for sure that although he was willing to make an attempt to help her, he was becoming impatient at her hesitancy, her inability to make up her mind.
'I ought to leave him,' she said.
'That's no answer.'
'In any case, I can't leave him today.'
'That's no answer either.'
'I'm sorry.'
'Paula,' he said turning towards her, 'I don't believe for one moment that you have any intention of leaving him! He's captured you, body and soul, and you're helpless. My God, if that is love, then I hope I never get entangled with it! He'll crucify you!'
'I must have time,' she quivered. 'Leaving one's husband isn't something you can do impulsively.'
'You married him impulsively,' he could not help reminding her, and now a hostile note had crept into his voice. 'I take it you want me to drive you back to town?'
There was the smallest pause before she said apologetically, 'Yes, please, Denis—and—and I'm sorry…'
No answer; he started the engine, selected the gear and jabbed the accelerator. She had never seen Denis angry before, and she found herself saying on a little sigh that was almost a sob, 'Forgive me, Denis. This is something beyond me—I—I've no control over it—I wish I had because I know I'm behaving most irrationally. You see,' she added, aware of a dry, salty taste in her mouth, 'I'm terrified of going home—'
'Then for God's sake, why go?'
'My things, and money—'
'That's not the damned reason and you know it! You just can't keep away from the man, and even if you knew he was going to beat you, you'd still go back!'
Vivid colour swept into her face.
'He'll—he'll n-not do th-that.'
'You don't sound too sure.' He cast a sideways glance, expelling a breath exasperatedly.
'He'll certainly be angry,' she owned, a catch in her voice.
'Married a fortnight and you're terrified of going home! What the hell's wrong with you? I never remember you being so lacking in common sense!' He paused a moment, his anger swiftly evaporating. 'Let me drive you home, and you can collect your money and belongings. Then we'll go straight to the ship and get you a cabin for the rest of the cruise. We'll land in England together and I'll take you home to mother until you sort yourself out.' Taking his foot off the accelerator, he slowed down almost to a stop. 'Does that appeal to you, dear?'
She hesitated; it all sounded so easy, and she would have Denis to lean on. Once again she felt she needed him, and the temptation to take the easiest way out was very great. But against it rose the image of her husband… and she knew she needed him too, but in a very different way. In her confusion of mind she saw vaguely the possibility of revenge, but it took no concrete form. Yet undoubtedly to pay him back would afford her a great amount of satisfaction; she loved him but wanted to hurt him. It was all very illogical but human—an eye for an eye…
'No, Denis,' she decided at last. 'I'll go home and—and see how things turn out. If I find life's becoming too difficult, I shall certainly leave Ramon and return to England.'
A pause ensued before Denis put his foot down and the car gained speed. The forest on either side of the road was darkening, with the sun's rays losing strength but gaining colour. The atmosphere was golden, the forest deep and mysterious and Paula wondered just how much of it was still untrodden by man.
'Do you want me to drop you at your door?' Denis's voice lacked expression, but it was by no means cold and Paula, heartened, felt sure she had not lost him altogether.
'No, just along from it, please, Denis.'
'Very well. You'll have to guide me once we enter the old city.'
'We're going to keep in touch?' she asked a little later.
'If that is what you want. But how is it to be done? That husband of yours isn't going to allow you to receive letters from me.'
'I could get a post box,' she suggested.
'That's an idea.'
'You don't blame me too much over all this?'
He slanted her a glance.
'I do and I don't. The trouble is I haven't a clue about women in love. Are they all an enigma like you?'
She coloured slightly.
'I suppose I am a puzzle,' she admitted. 'But if it's any consolation, I'm a puzzle to myself, too. I don't know what I want. To go with you and get on the ship—presupposing I could—seems so simple and uncomplicated. I know your mother would have me till I got settled. But on the other hand, I am married. Ramon is my husband and I know that he would never walk out on me.'
'You don't know any such thing,' argued Denis. 'He's a rake, a womaniser, and in my opinion a man like that rarely changes his way of life. One woman isn't any good to him; he wants change, craves it. It's in the blood of these Latin American types; they're noted for their infidelity.'
Paula gave a sigh.
'If it turns out like that, I can always leave,' she said.
'If you haven't got a houseful of kids!'
'I shan't have that many,' she said, surprising herself by laughing at the idea.
'Even one would be a tie to a girl like you.'
She nodded in agreement and said unthinkingly, 'Ramon said we must raise a family.'
'He said you must. The big boss who wants an heir and sees that his wife gives him one!'
'Don't,' pleaded Paula. 'If I choose to stay with Ramon he will naturally expect children to come.'
'Does he strike you as a family man?' Denis's voice was softer but sarcastic.
'I think he could be,' mused Paula. 'I'm sure he'd make a good father, but perhaps an over-stern one.'
Denis said nothing. Paula directed him and soon he was sliding the car to a standstill a few yards from the entrance to the Casa Don Felipe.
'I'd like to have had dinner with you,' he said, turning to her in the darkness of the car. 'But it wouldn't have done for you to go in so late.'
'I intended to,' she reminded him. 'I'd made up my mind to spend the whole day and evening with you.'
'And then face the irate husband? You're not that brave,' he said.
'We'll not lose touch, Denis—promise.'
'I promise.' He gave a little sigh, then took her in his arms. 'Get your post office box and then send me the number. 'Goodbye, dear…' His mouth came down to meet hers. They kissed long and passionately, Paula's arms creeping up around his neck. In this moment her mind was more confused than ever; she would, with a small amount of persuasion, have abandoned the idea of staying with her husband and gone back to England with Denis. The whole trouble was that she was terrified of meeting Ramon after running out on him the way she had.
'Denis… I…'
'You still don't know, do you? Bu
t the present situation mustn't be allowed to influence you, Paula; we're both emotionally affected and it's hard to see straight. I feel I could persuade you to come with me, and if I were madly in love with you I'd not hesitate. But we've admitted we're not in love, so let us leave it as it is. Go back, and if it doesn't work, then we shall take up where we left off.'
She nodded, then rested her head on his shoulder.
'You've got so much more sense than I,' she quivered. 'This confusion's terrible. I feel that I'd like to be somewhere on my own, away from everything that could influence me. Then I might be able to sort myself out.'
'He attracts you, that's for sure.'
'It's true, and if only he loved me, life would be heaven.'
'For how long?' The scepticism in his tone was strongly pronounced.
'I know I live in a dream world—or, at least, I did.'
'You'll grow out of it,' he declared, suddenly cynical.
She moved, opening the car door.
'I'd better go,' she said.
'Still scared?' The irony in his voice could not escape her.
'I'm afraid so.'
She drew a frown from him.
'I wish I could do something to help.' He slipped from the car and went round to her side. She stood up, close to him and his arms encircled her. She lifted her face for his kiss, then her nerves tingled.
'Is—is there someone about?' she queried, drawing away from him to glance all around, her eyes peering into the mothy darkness.
'I didn't hear anything.' He kissed her lightly, squeezed her hand, and let her go. 'Goodbye— and good luck.'
An automatic 'goodbye' came to her lips and was stopped. In the chaotic turmoil of her mind the word was too final. If things did not work out with Ramon, Denis was her only hope. If Ramon should terrify her tonight to the point where she was driven to running from him again, Denis was the only one to whom she could go for help.
The engine was running; panic seized her and she stepped forward, but the car began to move. Denis gave a flip of his hand then turned his attention to the road. Paula stood there, a lone, forlorn figure in the creamy moonglow filtering the trees as the bright silver ball emerged from behind a veil of cirrus cloud.