by Abigail Agar
“I am the one who kissed you,” Thomas reassured her while holding her close. “You have done nothing wrong, certainly not in my eyes.”
It was not easy to tear herself away, but Victoria did not have a choice in the matter. She could not continue to cling to Thomas as if he was the only man holding her to the planet because if they got caught, the implications would be monumental. She also could not allow herself to get any more tangled up in her feelings for him or they would both end up in emotional pain.
“I am going to tell you something, Lady Victoria.” Thomas took a step back and gave her an enticing smile, one that warmed her chest and made her feel more loved than she had ever done before. “It is absolutely my intention to marry you. I understand here that I have to ensure your father is happy for us to wed, which I am very willing to do, but I would like you to know what I have planned as well. I would like you to know that I wish for you to be my wife.”
He smiled widely at her, expecting Victoria to be happy at the news. Considering the magnetic, undeniable attraction between them, he assumed that she would want this next step just as much as he did. He was so wrapped up in his own excitement that he did not notice Victoria’s face had dropped.
“I am sorry, Thomas,” she said with a sorry shake of her head. “I do not wish to be cruel, but I cannot marry you.” She held up her hands to stop him from interrupting. Now that she had started, she needed to get all of this out. “I know that is shocking news considering what has just happened, so I would like to point out that it is not you that is the problem. It is me; I am not right to be a wife.”
Thomas narrowed his eyes in confusion. If this was an excuse, it was the worst one that he had ever heard. “If you do not like me, I would prefer you to be honest.” He did not believe that was the case; he felt that she liked him, but there had to be some reason.
“No, I do like you.” Victoria automatically took a step forward but stopped herself before she could get too close. There was no point in making this worse than it already was. “It is not that. I merely do not like the idea of spending all my time at society functions, spending time impressing people that I barely like just because they have money. I do not wish for my only purpose to be having children.” She blushed as she discussed this very embarrassing topic, but she continued because it actually looked like Thomas was listening and possibly understanding her just a little bit. “I have seen so much of it from my parents, and now my sisters too. I do not believe that is something that I can do myself. I am terribly sorry; I never intended you to get mixed up in my mess.”
“Who says marriage must be like that?” Thomas asked her. “Why must it be an endless cycle of babies and spending time with people you do not like? That does not sound like a fun life for anybody, surely?” He chuckled, bemused by the idea. “Why not only see the people whose company you enjoy? That makes much more sense to me!”
Victoria paused for a brief moment; she had never thought of it in that way. “Well ... that is simply the way that it is,” she told Thomas quietly. “I do not much understand it. I guess I have always assumed that is the way that men kept their business contacts friendly.”
“Business should be done only during business hours,” Thomas replied. “That is how I have always conducted myself. I believe it is the only way to keep my life truly balanced.”
“I see,” Victoria replied with a smile. “But you have certainly thrown yourself into the eye of polite society. You are making sure that all the wealthy people in London get to know you. You must hold your reputation in high regard? That is another reason why functions cannot be missed.”
“I am merely in a new city, trying to get to know other people, and that is all.” He smirked at her as he felt like he had her under his spell all over again. “After all, if I had not thrown my masquerade ball, then I would not have met you, would I?”
Reality hit into Victoria once more, and her face fell with sadness. “That would have probably been a good thing for you since I am not going to be around any longer.” She breathed deeply as she tried to calm down while she got her next sentence out. “On the night of your masquerade ball, my father made the decision that if I cannot find someone to marry, then he will send me to live in the countryside alone.”
Thomas felt stunned as if all the breath had been stripped from his body completely. As someone who had come from a large family and had constantly had people around him, the idea of living alone in such a quiet place sounded like an utter nightmare, but he imagined that the talented writer in Victoria would like that plan very much. Too much.
“You do not wish for that to happen, do you?” he asked her in a quiet voice. Victoria could tell that all the confidence had gone from him as he spoke. “You would not prefer that to marriage, would you? Not if it was to someone that you liked?”
Thomas could see the hesitation on Victoria’s face which gave him the spark of hope that he so desperately needed. He did not want to take this woman away from what it was she dreamed of – even if he knew that he could very easily fall in love with her if she let him – but if she was not totally certain, then that gave him permission.
“Victoria.” He hooked his finger under her chin and dragged her gaze upright until it met his. “I understand that this is something you sincerely believe that you want, but I think that meeting me might have changed your mind.” He paused to give her a chance to argue with him, which she did not do. “I still wish to marry you, despite everything that you have just said to me, and I think that if you at least give me a chance, you will wish to wed me too. I do not wish to have a marriage that pleases other people but leaves you unhappy. I do not want to spend time trying to do business with people we do not like; I am from America, so I am not too concerned with what people here think of me ... the only person whose opinion I am concerned about is yours.”
Victoria gasped, losing her cool completely. She had never heard anything so romantic in her entire life, and it left her questioning everything. Maybe she was wrong to think that she would be happier alone; maybe that decision would be one that she would come to regret later on. She was not sure, and the uncertainty was her undoing.
“I do not know what to say ...”
“When are you supposed to be leaving?” Thomas demanded playfully. “I need to know what deadline I am up against.”
“Once my sister has been for a visit, at the end of the month. The plans should move forward from that date onwards.”
Thomas nodded seriously. “That is just fine, Lady Victoria. A month is plenty long enough for me to make you see that I am the one for you. Do not get your hopes up when you think about moving because I can assure you now that you will not want to.”
Victoria’s heart flip-flopped in her chest. She had come out here with the sheer determination that she would make Thomas understand her point of view, that he would see her way of thinking, and he would take a graceful step back because of that. Instead ...
Well, instead she had made him worse than ever. Now he seemed even more determined than before to win her around, and if she were totally honest with herself, she knew that she might just let him. It was not in her plans, and it would veer her life off in a completely different direction, one she did not feel totally comfortable with, but the fact that it was with him was almost enough.
“Now, I do believe that we should get back inside. Your parents are probably concerned as to our whereabouts, and we do not wish for them to get the wrong idea.”
“Are you going to tell them?” Victoria whispered fearfully, refusing to take a step until she knew what was going to happen next. “About your intention to marry me?”
Thomas smiled and shook his head. “I will not tell them anything. When you decide to marry me, we shall tell them together.”
“Tell them together?” Victoria felt blown away by his confidence. “I see. Then I suppose we should go and face them again now, even if you have not seen any of the house.”
“T
hat hardly matters. I shall simply flatter your father, and he will not notice.”
“Yes.” Victoria giggled. “That is a wonderful plan.”
As they walked back inside, Victoria no longer knew what was up from down. Everything had shifted in a way that she felt completely uncertain about. The future that she was so sure of not long ago had now turned into mush in her mind, and it was all because of Thomas. She had either met him at a terrible time, or at the best time ever. That was something she was yet to find out ...
Thomas had full confidence in himself as he walked towards Victoria’s home. He liked walking towards his future and leaving his past behind completely. Everything that had happened before he met the wonderful Lady Victoria had done so in America, a country halfway around the world that was slowly becoming a distant memory in his mind. He knew for certain that his future contained Victoria. She was going to take a bit of convincing to get her to see what he did, but Thomas knew that he could do it.
Chapter Fourteen
Over the course of the next few days, Victoria became consumed by Thomas. It seemed that he was very serious when he suggested that he was going to ensure that he would do everything in his power to change her feelings, making sure she did not want to leave the city. He had visited her home a number of times, taken her out under the chaperone of one of her parents, and even given her gifts. It seemed that he really did want her to stay, and Victoria could feel herself wavering.
Every single time she looked at him, she could not stop herself from wondering what marriage to him would be like. He had already promised her that they would not share the typical life, that he would not mould her into the perfect shape that she was supposed to be, and that intrigued her. Especially because he was an American man who had not grown up in England, he did not know the right ways to behave. If he had not been raised in another country entirely, Victoria would not have believed him; she would have known that his words, however sincerely meant, would end up a hollow promise. She would have ended up the dreaded housewife figure that she desperately wanted to avoid.
Could she make marriage work if certain things were not expected of her? Admittedly, the idea still terrified her, but maybe not as much.
“I have had a wonderful day,” Thomas declared with gusto, making Victoria smile. “Thank you ever so much for coming out into the city with us today. I had a very lovely time in Covent Garden, what a wonderful area of the country. And that brass band playing ... well, they were truly wonderful. What talent! I do not believe that I have ever seen anything quite like it.”
His enthusiasm was infectious, and when Victoria was with Thomas, she started to see things that she had become accustomed to in a much more exciting way, reminding her that not everything about the city was grey and dismal. This also made Victoria very curious about America too. Before she met Thomas, her world had been very small, and she never gave a second thought to what was happening in other countries, but now thinking about Thomas and his home town filled up a lot of her daydreams.
At first, due to the humiliation of learning that others had read her writing, Victoria could not bring herself to do any more, but that had soon changed as the inspiration got the better of her. Now, every single day that she spent with Thomas led to her spending a lot of time at her desk. Her story of love and romance had really taken on a life of its own, and Victoria particularly enjoyed writing it.
Now she simply ensured that she hid it in a much better place, so no one could ever find it.
“Well, I have had a fascinating day too,” Duke Turner replied. “I have very much enjoyed learning all about your business. I am incredibly impressed with how well you have done for yourself.”
Victoria had attempted to follow the conversation when the men discussed work, but she found it very challenging to do so. All of her education had been geared towards making her the perfect wife; she had not enjoyed any of it aside from the reading and the writing, of course, so she had never learned any of the useful things that would have helped her to join in with the conversation. Instead, she tuned them out and wrote a few more chapters in her mind. Hopefully, she could recall what she decided when she sat at her writing desk for some time alone later on.
“I do hope you will come to visit us again soon.” Duke Turner paused thoughtfully for a moment. “In fact, our eldest daughter, Eleanor, is coming to visit us for dinner with her family at the end of the month. You should come along to and meet them.” He patted Victoria on the shoulder in a joyful gesture. “I am sure that you would like to get to know all the family.”
Victoria’s eyes widened with shock. She did not think that her father would surprise her with that! He was usually so private with family affairs, which meant he had really taken to Thomas, Guilt flooded Victoria when she realised once more how rapidly things had backfired on her. She was supposed to be completely separated from Thomas now, not luring her family into thinking that she would marry him. She had no idea how they would take the news when she announced that she still wished to move to the countryside ... if that was what she decided to do.
She shook her head, trying her best not to worry about that right now. She seemed to spend a lot of her time agonising over her decision and did not want to do that in front of Thomas.
Thomas looked at Victoria questioningly, asking for her permission with his eyes. He knew better than anyone else what the visit from Victoria’s sister meant, and he did not want to do anything that would upset her and push her away. Not when he felt himself falling harder and harder for her every single day. He just had to marry Victoria; there would never be a woman that he could love like he did her. No one had ever captivated him like Victoria, and he needed to make her his wife.
When she gave him the teensiest of nods, Thomas agreed wholeheartedly. “That would be wonderful, thank you so much for inviting me.”
“Oh, of course.” The Duke let out a bellowing laugh right from the pit of his stomach. “You are here so much, it is almost like you are a part of the family anyway.”
Victoria lightly brushed her fingers along the delicate, silver chain that hung around her neck, her heart skipping a beat. It was not so much the expense of the gift that Thomas had given her at the start of the day that mattered to Victoria – although she could tell that it had cost him a lot – it was the kindness of the gesture. She could just tell that he had spent a long time picking out something that would suit her and that she would like a lot. The idea that he thought so highly of her was utterly intoxicating. She had a feeling that no matter what happened next, she would always wear this chain just to recall the way it made her feel when Thomas gave it to her.
“Thank you for the gift,” she said quietly to him, wishing that she could say this without her father looming over her shoulder. “It was very thoughtful of you.”
Thomas knew that the necklace was worth every penny when he saw Victoria’s eyes light up. She did not seem to be the sort of woman who needed gifts and luxuries to keep her happy, but that only made him more inclined to spend. The fact that she did not expect it was a revelation; he loved how unique a person she was. In both of the countries that he had resided in, he had never met anyone like Victoria, and he knew that he never would. To him, she was one of a kind.
“You are welcome; I am so happy that you like it so much.” Thomas reached out his hand to touch Victoria before remembering that they were not alone and dropping it back by his side. He could not act how he wanted in front of the Duke! “It suits you very much.”
Victoria felt heat creep up from her toes and race all the way through her veins. There was a part of her that knew exactly what was happening, but it was hard for her to accept because once she did, the choices that lay ahead would narrow considerably ... but that did not stop the feelings from being there. She did not just like Thomas, she loved him dearly; she shared a very deep bond with him already that would only deepen once they were married and allowed to spend a lot of time together. But the moment she re
alised that would also be the moment that she gave up on her idea of her quiet, lonely life in the countryside completely, which she was not totally ready to do.
As Thomas said his goodbyes to the family and left Victoria’s home, she longingly watched him walk away. Her attempt to behave neutrally in front of her father so he did not get his hopes up flew right out the window as she lost all control of herself for just a moment.
The Duke noticed this, and it pleased him very much. “You are certainly enjoying your time with Mr Jones,” he commented, reminding Victoria that he was there. She almost jumped with a start as he spoke. “Do you think that he is going to ask you to marry him?”
Victoria baulked at his bluntness and was not sure that she liked her potential future being discussed in such a matter of fact way; it felt rather strange. “I do not know,” she replied automatically. “To be honest, I have not given it much thought.”
That was a lie, and her father knew it. He had seen the dramatic change in his youngest daughter, and he could tell that she was falling for Mr Jones. Maybe she did not realise it herself yet, but it would not be long until she was begging him to allow her to marry this American man ... which he would be more than happy to do. It was just lucky that he had not gone through with his plan to send Victoria to the countryside alone. That would have been something that he lived to regret; he felt certain of it. Whether or not Victoria’s situation had become something of an embarrassment to the family name, he did not want her to be lonely or unhappy.
“I think it might be best that you do start thinking about it,” he warned her. “Because I have a feeling that is a topic of conversation that will arise very soon.”
If only you knew, Victoria thought wryly, but she did not say that aloud. Instead, she simply smiled at her father in what she hoped was a calm manner.
“I am sure that your mother would speak to you about this if you would like some advice,” Duke Turner continued, hoping that Victoria would take this seriously. “I do think this would be a good decision for you. Mr. Jones is a good man for you to marry.”