'Oh, help me!' she groaned in anguish, plunging her bungalow into darkness, and stumbling into her bedroom to fling herself across her bed with its patchwork quilt.
She was shivering despite the warmth of the night, and the pain that stabbed at her insides finally subsided to leave her mercifully numb. She had known from the start that it would be fatal to become emotionally involved with a man like Chad McAdam, and she had only herself to blame for the pain and misery she would have to endure for the rest of her life.
There was one thing, however, which she could not leave undone. She could not go on without knowing the reason behind his rude snub and, if necessary, she would apologise for whatever it was she was supposed to have done. That way their fragile relationship would at least end on an amicable basis.
CHAPTER NINE
Megan had lain awake most of the night, tormented by her thoughts, and in the end she had overslept. The face that met hers in the bathroom mirror that Tuesday morning was pale and pinched with dark shadows beneath the eyes, and she was nursing a nagging headache when she finally arrived at the shop at a quarter to nine.
Dorothy was attending to the customers browsing among the shelves and showcases in search of souvenirs, and Megan managed to slip through into her office almost without being seen. She searched her desk drawers for the tablets she always kept there, and she gulped down two with a glass of water. She leaned against her desk with her eyes closed, feeling guilty about arriving late, but there was something she had to do which could not wait, and that meant she would have to leave Dorothy in charge of the shop a while longer.
She turned to leave her office, her movements hurried with the need to put this nerve-racking task behind her, but the next instant the breath was almost knocked from her lungs as she collided heavily with a hard, khaki-clad body in the doorway. Strong hands steadied her, but her own hands had gone out instinctively to clutch at tautly muscled arms, and she knew it was Chad long before she raised her wary glance to encounter his handsome, granite-hard features.
'I was on my way to see you,' she croaked, recovering her breath with difficulty and breaking free of his hands to back away from him.
Chad's cold-eyed, cynical-mouthed expression chilled Megan, and there was a hint of menace in his manner when he stepped into her cupboard-sized office and closed the door firmly behind him. 'I was inexcusably rude to you yesterday, and I owe you an apology,' he said, 'but I'd also like to thank you for bringing me to my senses.'
The room suddenly seemed airless, and Megan was convinced that her headache was getting worse instead of better as she stared up at him with bewilderment in her cornflower-blue eyes.
'I—I don't know what you mean,' she stammered, cringing inwardly beneath the icy contempt in those eyes raking her body as if they wanted to rid her of more than her pink checked blouse and white slacks.
'I was beginning to think that you're different, Megan, but you're not, and I'm grateful to you for strengthening my belief that no woman can be trusted—not even to keep a luncheon appointment.'
Megan staggered mentally beneath the impact of his statement, but her understanding of the situation was swift and sharp. Chad had not received her message, and that was why she had been subjected to that humiliating snub the day before, but to confront him with the truth could create problems of a different nature. She did not want that, but she knew she had no choice when he turned to leave her office.
'Just a minute!' She clutched at his arm to stop him before he could open the door, and she felt the muscles tensing beneath her fingers when he turned back to her with a look of such icy disdain on his face that her courage almost deserted her completely. 'Now that you've had your say, I would appreciate it if you would allow me to have mine,' she said, removing her hand hastily from his arm and facing him with a calmness she was far from experiencing. 'I was delayed yesterday because my car developed a mechanical fault which took hours to repair. I arrived fifteen minutes late for our appointment, but by that time you'd already left the restaurant.'
A look of cynical disbelief flashed across Chad's lean face, and he smiled twistedly. 'Am I supposed to accept that explanation as the truth?'
Megan was not accustomed to having her word doubted, and she felt that familiar stab of anger which only Chad could arouse in her, but she forced herself to remain outwardly cool and calm.
'Please feel free to check up on what I've told you.' She despised herself for the noticeable tremor in her hand when she reached for the telephone on her desk and held the receiver out to him. 'If you phone the garage in town they'll confirm that they delivered my car to me at one o'clock, and Isaac will tell you that I arrived at the restaurant about fifteen minutes later.'
'You could have called to let me know you'd be late,' he argued harshly, releasing his grip on the door handle and snatching the receiver from her hand to slam it back on to its cradle with a savage force that made her flinch. 'I was out for most of the morning, but Glenys was in the office, and you could have left a message with her.'
Megan's nerves had coiled into an aching knot at the pit of her stomach, and her vague, nagging headache had progressed to a savagely painful throbbing against her temples. This was the moment she had dreaded. She could try subterfuge, but one look at the angry features of the man who stood towering over her made her realise that only the truth would suffice.
'I did leave a message,' she confessed in a voice just above a whisper. 'It must have been mislaid.'
A look of cold fury shifted into his eyes. 'Glenys is not in the habit of mislaying messages.'
'I'm sure she isn't,' Megan agreed, trying desperately to remain calm, 'and I'm not attempting to discredit her to you, but for some reason she must have mislaid the message I left for you.'
'Name one reason why I should believe you, and it had better be good!' he challenged, his lips drawn back against his teeth in a snarl and his angry eyes glinting like flints of steel as they blazed down into hers.
'I'll give you two reasons,' she responded to his challenge. 'I didn't have your telephone number, and I had to call the Post Office telecommunications department to get it. If you need to have that verified, then I'll give you the name of the man I spoke to. Secondly, my mother was standing beside me when I called your office, and she will confirm that I left a message with your secretary.'
A deafening silence settled in the room, and Megan wondered if Chad could hear the heavy, anxious beat of her heart as they stood there facing each other with less than a pace between them.
'I believe you,' he said eventually, oddly white about the mouth when he turned from her to frown at the calendar hanging against the wall, and relief washed over Megan with a force that made her want to weep.
'Thank you,' she murmured shakily.
'Lord, this is damnable!' he growled, passing an agitated hand over his hair and letting his fingers rest for a moment at the nape of his neck before he dropped his hand to his side.
'I'm glad we could clear up this misunderstanding.'
Megan's legs were trembling and threatening to cave in beneath her, but she leaned heavily against the desk and remained standing when Chad turned to her with a mixture of anger and frustration etched sharply on his chiselled features. 'We've got to talk, Megan. We've got to do something about eliminating these trivial misunderstandings, but I'm leaving for Johannesburg as soon as I've had a chat with Byron, and I won't be back until next Monday.'
'We may pass each other on the way,' Megan enlightened him coolly, not sure that she wanted to have this talk with him. 'I have to take my illustrations through to the publishers in Johannesburg on Monday, and I shan't be returning until the Wednesday.'
'I've got an idea.' Chad smiled faintly, and Megan gripped the edge of the desk behind her for added support when he lessened the distance between them. 'My company's plane is flying up some veterinary equipment for me first thing Monday morning, and it would be no problem at all for me to arrange that you be a passenger on the re
turn trip to Johannesburg. I'll delay my departure until the Wednesday morning, and then we'll drive back together.'
That might have all the ingredients of a sensible suggestion, but Megan was beginning to feel like an animal edged into a trap from which there would be no escape.
'I appreciate your kind offer, Chad, but I don't think it would be—'
'Think it over and let me know,' he cut in persuasively, drawing the small notepad on her desk towards him and using her pen to scribble a row of figures on it. 'This is my private telephone number at Aztec. I'm not sure of my time schedule during the next few days, but you can reach me at my office on Sunday evening.'
'Chad, I really don't think I can—'
'Don't decline my offer in such haste,' he cut in once again, straightening to place silencing fingers against her lips when she persisted with her protests. 'Promise me you'll at least think it over?'
Robbed of the strength to argue with him while his fingers trailed fire across her jaw, she whispered, 'I promise.'
Chad tipped her face up to his and kissed her briefly on the lips before he turned to open the door and, raising his hand to his forehead in a mock salute, he walked out of her office and out of the shop.
Megan collapsed weakly on to her chair, and her heart was still beating much too hard and fast for comfort when she looked up to see Dorothy hovering anxiously in the doorway.
'Are you all right, Miss Megan?' she asked, and Megan pulled herself together sharply to smile reassuringly at her assistant.
'Yes, thank you, Dorothy. Everything's OK.'
'I didn't like the look on Dr McAdam's face when he walked into your office and closed the door, and I don't mind telling you I was worried.'
'There was a private matter which needed to be settled between Dr McAdam and myself,' Megan explained, and Dorothy stared intently at her hollow-eyed features before she nodded and turned away to attend to the customer who had walked into the shop.
Megan stared at the telephone number which Chad had written down on her small notepad. Should she accept his offer, or would it be wiser to decline? She was still too shaky in mind and body to make that decision now and, ripping the sheet of paper out of the notepad, she folded it neatly and slipped it into her handbag.
As the day progressed her energy flagged. By four-thirty that afternoon she was thinking seriously about suggesting to Dorothy that they close up shop and go home, but she was still considering that possibility when the telephone rang on her desk, and she sighed inwardly as she lifted the receiver to her ear.
'Megan O'Brien speaking.'
'I hope I'm not calling at an inconvenient time, Miss O'Brien. It's Glenys Gibson.'
The introduction had been unnecessary. Megan had a good ear for voices, and Glenys Gibson's attractively husky voice was not one she was likely to forget in a hurry.
'What can I do for you, Miss Gibson?'
'I was wondering if you could meet me in the Ladies' Bar just after five this evening for a drink and a chat.'
Megan wished she could decline the invitation. She had been looking forward to going home to her bungalow to relax in a hot bath before she made herself a quick snack and crawled into bed, but something warned her that this meeting with Glenys Gibson was more important than succumbing to her desire for an early night.
'I'll meet you there at five,' she answered her curtly, replacing the receiver and admitting to herself that curiosity had been the deciding factor. What was there that Glenys Gibson could possibly want to talk to her about?
The Ladies' Bar with its wood-panelled walls and soft lighting was a favourite gathering place during the peak season in the game park, but on this particular evening it was practically deserted, and Megan was already seated in a comfortable armchair when Glenys Gibson joined her.
Glenys was an attractive young woman with shoulder-length hair and jade-green eyes surrounded by dark, incredibly long lashes, but Megan could not help noticing that her smile was tinged with nervousness when they sat facing each other across the low, circular table. The steward approached their table, and Glenys ordered a gin and tonic while Megan chose a non-alcoholic glass of soda with a dash of lime.
They discussed the bushveld heat which was still predominant even though winter was practically on their doorstep, and they discussed several other unimportant matters, but Glenys came straight to the point when their drinks arrived.
'I owe you an apology,' she said, swallowing down a mouthful of her drink and nursing her glass between her slender, manicured hands. 'I didn't forget to pass on your message to Chad. It was deliberate.'
Megan's insides went into a spasm. It had never crossed her mind that Glenys's lapse had been deliberate, and the truth left her momentarily at a loss for words.
'If our positions had been reversed I know I'd have been as angry as hell,' Glenys continued, 'and I wouldn't blame you if you let rip with a few choice words.'
Am I angry? No. Hurt and confused, maybe, but not angry, Megan analysed her feelings.
'You could have remained silent and I would never have known, but you had the courage to confront me with the truth, and I admire you for that.' Megan sipped at her drink to moisten her dry mouth, and she wished now that she had asked for something stronger than soda water and lime when she felt her insides quiver in the aftermath of shock. 'Have you told Chad?'
'No.' There was anxiety in the jade-green eyes that met Megan's. 'Are you going to tell him?'
'No,' Megan replied without hesitation, and Glenys Gibson's features relaxed visibly.
'Thank you,' she murmured with a shaky smile, raising her glass to her crimson lips and sipping her gin and tonic while she eyed Megan curiously. 'Don't you want to know why I didn't give him your message?'
'I'm sure you must have had a very good reason for not passing on my message, but I don't consider it any of my business.'
'You really are quite something, aren't you?' Glenys's green gaze was incredulous, and then a look of determination shifted across her face. 'Look, you may not particularly want to hear this, and I apologise for taking up so much of your time, but I know I won't feel better until I've made a full confession.'
Megan was not sure that she wanted to hear more, but she could not deny this woman something which was of obvious importance to her, and she answered Glenys with a calmness that belied the turmoil inside her. 'If it will make you feel better to talk, then I have the time to listen.'
Glenys was obviously not in the habit of wasting time on trivialities, and once again she came straight to the point. 'I knew Chad in Johannesburg. He dated my older sister for a while, but I was crazy about him from the first time I saw him. I heard that he'd based himself up here in the game park, and I jumped at the chance to accompany my parents when they decided to move up to Louisville. Getting the job as Chad's secretary brought me a step closer to making my dream a reality, but I soon discovered that you stood in my way, and when the opportunity presented itself to cause a rift between you—I took it.'
The naked truth hit Megan like a shuddering blow, rendering her speechless once again, and Glenys lowered her lashes guiltily, but she did not spare herself as she continued with her explanation.
'Chad worked until late last night in the laboratory. He had to run a few important tests, and, since I was in no hurry to leave, I hung around to take down notes and make myself generally useful. Afterwards he invited me to his bungalow for a nightcap. We talked and flirted a little, but when he realised that I was angling for more he made it painfully clear that he wasn't interested.'
A dull red colour had surged into Glenys's cheeks, but it subsided just as swiftly, and Megan hated herself for experiencing a sense of relief at someone else's expense.
'This morning, just before Chad left for Johannesburg, he gave me a dressing down for not passing on your message. He was in a pretty violent mood, and he said a few things that made me grow up in a hurry. I've been an idiot all these years to think that I was in love with him when,
in actual fact, I was simply clinging to my childish infatuation. It's you he wants, and I should have known that nothing I could do would change that.'
It's you he wants! Megan shrank inwardly as those words echoed through her mind. She knew what Chad wanted. He wanted her body, but she was not prepared to give herself to a man who would give her nothing in return.
'I've been feeling absolutely rotten about what I did,' Glenys went on, finishing her drink and frowning down at her glass when the ice slid to the bottom with a tinkling sound. 'I'm not by nature a nasty, vicious person, but I've come to my senses where Chad McAdam is concerned, and that's why I felt I owed it to you to tell you the truth—to apologise.'
Megan could not help feeling sorry for Glenys, and her smile was sympathetic. 'I understand.'
Their contemplative glances met and held and, from the debris of past errors, a mutual liking and respect was born between them.
'I can see now what it is about you that appeals to Chad. It isn't just your looks, it's your integrity, your compassion, and your capacity for understanding.' Glenys smiled ruefully. 'What he still needs to learn is that he can trust you, but trusting a woman will never come easy to a man as cynical as Chad McAdam.'
Glenys's observation had been stabbingly accurate. Chad's trust in women had been shattered at an early age, and Megan doubted if he would ever again trust a woman entirely. It saddened and angered her when she thought of how Chad's father had unwisely nurtured that lack of trust by allowing his own bitterness and cynicism to spill over on to his son.
Megan saw a movement out of the corner of her eye, and she turned her head to see Jack Harriman's lean, khaki-clad frame entering the Ladies' Bar. His sandy-coloured hair lay in its usual disorderly manner across his broad forehead, and he was smiling as he approached their table.
'May I join you?' he asked, his blue gaze going from one to the other, and it was Glenys who answered him.
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