Kill him before he tears you to pieces, Shock demanded.
Last chance. “Brian?”
Nothing but a creepy smile and a shivery death grip reaching ever closer. When Caden heard Sydney scream again, he plunged the knife into Brian’s neck and ripped down viciously, nearly tearing his head from his neck.
Brian crumbled to the ground. Guilt, grief, and relief crushing him inside, Caden stepped over the body and scrambled to Sydney’s side. He had to compartmentalize Brian’s death now and deal with the present.
He grabbed the zombie holding her throat and pushed him face first into the concrete wall. It was still fighting after the first blow, so Caden delivered two more. The undead soldier went limp.
Whirling back to Sydney, he saw that another zombie had her in its grip, dragging her along the wall. More blood spread across the shirt at her waist. The white cotton was torn and a few inches of ragged flesh peeked through. She cried out and fell to her knees, pain slashing across her expression. The zombie was following her to the floor with murder in his eyes.
And Caden wasn’t going to reach her in time.
Panic burned through him, even making his fingertips tingle. A swell of energy bounded inside him. Suddenly, he pictured the broken glass on the floor flying toward the Anarki. Seemingly of their own volition, his arms raised and hurtled forward. He snarled his rage and glass shards flew past him and embedded sharp points into the zombie’s back. Black blood flowed, gurgled, and the creature fell to the ground.
He’d done magic. Dear God. No time to dwell on it, whether to rail or cheer. Instead, Caden charged toward Sydney. A fresh swarm of Anarki were headed her way. With one hand, she clutched her handbag. With the other, she scooted away from the zombies, wearing an expression of utter terror.
Caden couldn’t see Bram and the rest of the Doomsday Brethren, but it didn’t matter. He was done risking Sydney.
With superhuman speed, he reached his little firecracker before the Anarki and grabbed her against his body, avoiding her injured shoulder. She wrapped one arm and her legs around him. Her handbag bobbed against his side as he raced out the front door of the warehouse and reached into his pocket to set off the warning charge. An explosion just outside the building rattled the walls and sent up flames.
The Doomsday Brethren had sixty seconds to get out before he blew the whole building to kingdom come.
Outside, the weak morning sun filtered through gray clouds, lending barely enough light to see Sydney’s wounds. The shape of the slashes told him she’d gouged her flesh on a nail—or those Anarki bastards had pushed her on it—as she tried to get away. She needed direct pressure and stitches immediately.
Caden stripped off his shirt and rolled her to her back, easing the cloth against the deepest of her wounds. “Lie still. We’ll be out of here soon.”
She nodded. “I got the film. As soon as I put it together, I’m transcasting it to all of magickind. This will save lives.”
And who was going to save hers? But now wasn’t the time to debate. It simply wasn’t going to happen.
Bram emerged from the warehouse, two of the captured soldiers who hadn’t yet been converted into Anarki behind him. Duke emerged next with another three. Ice and Tynan each brought a handful more. Caden wished one of those saved could have been Brian. He didn’t even have to close his eyes to relive the horrifying moment he’d plunged the knife into his friend’s neck. God, Brian.
Still, Mathias had killed him, and Brian hadn’t been Caden’s friend anymore. War meant kill or be killed. The guilt would hurt like hell, but he had saved Sydney.
And he’d used magic to do it. Even though his palms burned, his head hurt, and he felt so weak his thighs trembled, Caden couldn’t deny that without magic, she’d likely be dead.
Shoving the thought aside, Caden looked at his watch. Five, four, three . . . where was Marrok?
Just then, the medieval warrior emerged with nearly twenty of Mathias’s prisoners. They all looked shell-shocked and confused by what they’d seen. And why not? It wasn’t every day a man saw another’s soul ripped out via magic.
“Blow it!” Bram shouted.
Caden didn’t hesitate. He pressed the button in his pocket. The entire warehouse detonated in a flash of fire, glass, and dust. The Doomsday Brethren stepped back as bodies flew. Sydney shrieked. Flames licked out, heat ripped through the morning air, and the structure collapsed. What was left of its walls were singed black as the pop and hiss of fire ate anything in its path.
Mission accomplished. He only hoped that Mathias was still inside.
Bram tossed one soldier a cell phone. “Dial nine-nine-nine. Tell them you’re captured soldiers standing in front of the American Embassy.”
“But we aren’t there,” the confused soldier challenged.
Just then, Shock appeared and waved his wand. They all tumbled to the ground in a deep slumber.
“Damn you!” Sydney barked at Shock, clutching Caden’s shirt to her wound. “I wanted to interview them.”
“Hell no!” Caden barked.
Shock and Bram exchanged a glance.
“He’s right. No time. Too dangerous,” Bram decreed. “I know it’s not easy, Shock, but see if you can do anything with their memories.”
“Damn near impossible,” he grumbled. “I’ll try.”
Shock gathered grabbed three and teleported out, only to appear moments later and repeat the process.
Clutching Sydney against him, Caden smelled her feminine scent tangled up in his own and thanked God she was alive. They had to get her medical attention now. For that, they had to get to safety.
Duke sidled up to him a few moments later.
“Ready?” Even after a battle, the titled wizard looked collected and almost royal.
“Hurry,” Caden insisted, watching as Bram took Marrok’s arm and they disappeared. Tynan and Ice both teleported out.
“You could learn to do that yourself now, you know?” Duke said.
Yes, he could. Since transition, he’d been “blessed” with common magic like teleporting. But magic was a slippery slope, in his mind. Accept one “gift,” and how long before he’d take everything else? Already he’d used it today and prayed that no one had witnessed it.
“Get us back,” Caden groused. “She’s hurt.”
“I’m fine,” Sydney insisted.
“You need stitches. No arguing.”
She opened her mouth, but Duke grabbed Caden’s arm and placed a hand at Sydney’s back. Moments later, they tumbled through emptiness, then landed in Bram’s office. Sabelle was already waiting, and though Caden wanted to be the one to tend to Sydney, her injuries weren’t life threatening. And he was too weak. As much as he hated to admit it, Bram’s sister was both talented and capable of handling Sydney.
“Go with her,” Caden murmured. “Let her patch you up. I’ll be along shortly.”
She held up the handbag. “As long as she’s quick. I’ve got good film and the book inside.” Leveling a sharp glance at Bram, she challenged, “You’re not backing out, right?”
“The matter is too serious for the Council to remain silent. You can transcast.”
Fury shot through Caden. Before he could object, Sydney rushed Sabelle out the door, excitement humming off of her. Caden wanted to go along, hold her hand, shout some sense into her, but the fair-haired general stood behind his desk and barked questions.
“Did anyone see Mathias teleport out?”
“Yes,” Tynan snarled. “I was just about to blast the bloody sadist when I saw the warning explosion. Unfortunately, so did he. He grabbed that glass globe his followers used to create Anarki and flashed out. After that, I grabbed a couple of the captured soldiers and left.”
“Fuck!” Ice spat the word everyone was thinking.
“At least we blew up his facility and damn near a thousand zombies,” Duke added.
Including his friend. Pain stabbed Caden in the gut, but even as it did, he knew he had to let g
o. What was done, was done. War was hell. He just didn’t want to suffer any more losses.
“How was he making them in the first place?” Caden demanded. “What is that glass sphere? One of those soldiers was my friend.”
Mercy tempered Bram’s battle-fierce expression for a moment. “I don’t know. A wizard can torture a human’s soul from him and replace their will with his bidding. Normally, he can convert but a few at a time at the cost of a great deal of energy. That glass ball his followers were wielding is a mystery to me. I’ll start investigating.”
Then Bram’s mercy hardened, and he glared at Caden. “The bad news is, Mathias got away. We were supposed to have more time to trap him so he’d go up in flames with the building. We agreed to that plan. Why the bloody hell did you detonate off the charge early?”
Caden’s temper spiked. He wasn’t one of the Doomsday Brethren. Bram wasn’t his commanding officer.
But you agreed to help, whispered the pesky voice in his head. He’d had a mission and he’d panicked and jettisoned the mission. Period.
“The Anarki had Sydney cornered and were about to kill her. I got her out.”
“Damn you!” Bram charged from behind his desk and got in Caden’s face. “If you’d learn some bloody magic, you might have saved her without aborting the mission.”
“I used it!”
Bram raised a brow. “On purpose?” Into Caden’s silence, he added, “Because of your stubborn refusal to learn magic, we blew our surprise and perhaps Shock’s cover so you could save Sydney. The fact she’s your mate and you won’t claim her is clouding your judgment.”
Caden absorbed Bram’s words with anger and guilt. He hated it, but the wizard was right.
“You’re no longer fighting with us. If your brother needs help, ring me. Otherwise, until you embrace your magic,” Bram shook his head. “Get out.”
Caden stomped up the stairs. Get out? He’d be more than bloody happy to. Bram ordering him gone hadn’t hurt in the least. That was fury brewing in his gut. Definitely. He didn’t need this group of wizards. In fact, he didn’t belong tangled up in magic. He’d take Lucan back to his own house, as the healer recommended. Bram’s assistance hadn’t helped locate Anka, so Caden would continue that quest alone. He’d grab his belongings, his brother, and go.
But what about Sydney?
She couldn’t return to her human life, and unless he mated with her, he had no business taking her with him. She would be safer with Bram and the others, especially now that Mathias had seen her face. It all made sense except . . . the thought of leaving her made him want to tear something apart with his bare hands. How the hell could he protect Sydney from a distance?
He couldn’t.
“Ouch! Damn it, I thought magical healing would be less painful. Did you fry my skin together?”
Sydney. At the top of the stairs, he shook his head wryly. Even when his life was shit, she amused him. He had to figure out some way to watch over her and his brother. He wasn’t going to leave her when her life was in danger. After all, the diary had been stolen out from under Bram, so clearly the wizard made mistakes.
Lately, Caden had been riding the thin line between the magical heritage he rejected and the human world he embraced. He’d continue doing it to keep Sydney alive. He refused to step over the line while she sought the very world he wanted to escape. As much as he loved her, they wanted different futures. Given that, linking his survival to her as his mate made little sense. She’d never be happy if she followed him to his human existence in Dallas. He had no doubt that if he mated with Sydney, with her so determined to help magickind, she’d end up dead and he’d become exactly like his brother.
Being back in the UK had been a homecoming, but if he remained with Sydney, she’d want him to join the Doomsday Brethren. Today’s battle had made him feel vital and part of a unit again, but he’d screwed up. Lost his edge. Maybe losing his platoon had done that. Whatever it was, he didn’t want to endure the pain again or put Bram and the others at risk.
As Bram had ceased Caden’s involvement with the Doomsday Brethren, he needed to do the same with Sydney. After settling Lucan in at home, he’d protect her, but no more.
As he entered the bedroom, Sabelle left, answering his unspoken question as she did. “Conrad just left. Sydney’s fine.”
“Indeed,” Sydney insisted as she dug into her handbag and extracted the camera. “Help me edit this film? I know you’re against me transcasting, but you saw how evil Mathias was. We can’t let him continue to run amok. I want to transcast within the hour.”
His advice was going to fall on deaf ears, but Caden felt compelled to say it. “You understand that there’s no going back? You’ll both incur Mathias’s supreme wrath and be trapped in magickind forever.”
“Trapped?” She frowned. “I have a chance now to save lives and achieve everything I ever dreamed. Nothing worth doing is without risk.”
“Pretty speech. I don’t think it will comfort you when Mathias tries to kill you. I’m not helping you transcast.”
She cocked her head and peered at him, clearly puzzling something out. “You’re walking away and leaving this mess to Bram and the others and wasting your abilities when you could be helping, too.”
“Bram tossed me out, and I’m leaving something I never wanted to be involved in.”
Sydney paused, drew back. “You’re leaving me as well.”
Caden saw no reason to beat about the bush. “I’ll protect you. I can’t be this close, care this much, and lose you. I . . . can’t.”
Clenching her fists, Sydney tried to hold back sudden tears. And failed. “I don’t understand you. First, you ran from your parents and your heritage, spent ten years trying to be American and human, when you’re neither. You came back to help your brother, why? Obligation? Because you couldn’t avoid it without feeling like a heel? You’re not running from the Doomsday Brethren and me. You’re running from yourself—like you have been your whole life.”
Caden accepted the rebuke in silence. Sydney simply didn’t understand. Nor could she relate to the tangle of affection and duty he felt for Lucan after losing Westin. And she had no way of comprehending the disastrous results of a failed magical mating. Would it make a difference if she did? No, it was too late now. Some things simply weren’t meant to be.
“You’ve oversimplified everything,” he said.
“Have I? Explain to me exactly how this isn’t running from your destiny.”
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
“SYDNEY, I DON’T EXPECT you to understand.”
Which meant he wasn’t even going to try to explain. Grief felt like a blow to the chest.
“Make me understand. Why?”
He raked a frustrated hand through mussed brown hair.
“Magic isn’t always . . . good.”
“Mathias proves that.”
“I mean that using magic, even the sort you think is good, can change your life in terrible ways.”
His words renewed her dread. She’d fantasized about him in the Doomsday Diary to lure him to her side. Had that changed their lives in terrible ways? The possibility sounded ugly. How much, if any, of their affection and passion was due strictly to the book’s magic?
“You’re always so bloody vague, raising more questions than you answer.”
Sighing, pacing, he grasped for words. “Magic is all new and interesting to you now, but it’s ripped apart my life more than once.”
“Change happens in everyone’s lives, whether you’re magical or not. Tell me what’s so terrible—”
“No point except to dredge up bad memories and burden you with tragedies you can’t change. I just need to go.”
“You belong here, fighting beside these warriors. I think you belong beside me, as well.” She pressed her lips together to hold in tears. “I’ve fallen in love with you. You used magic today to save me, though you hate it. You must care about me a bit. Perhaps, in time, it could be real—”
“It is real.” His blue eyes burned with truth.
But a niggle of doubt remained.
Caden’s slumped shoulders and the exhausted lines bracketing his eyes and mouth made him look like defeat on two legs. “I wish the answer was as simple as love, firecracker. But taking the next step with you means accepting magic I don’t trust. It’s too uncontrollable.”
Though she knew better, Sydney couldn’t stop fighting for them. “So is life!”
“I’ve died a hundred times with the desire to kiss you, but if I do, we would be mated for life. You would adopt my lifespan, so that means hundreds of years, literally.” He wrapped warm hands around her shoulders, and Sydney wished he’d welcome her farther into his embrace. “But if you keep to this path, you’re going to die—and take me down with you. I can’t stand by and watch. It will drive me mad.”
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