by Sherry Lewis
Lynette shook her head quickly. “But—”
“If I’d been the one who died, Jocelyn would have gotten married again. I would have wanted her to. I would have wanted her to be happy.”
She stared at him, but didn’t argue.
“I’ve finally realized that nobody can make it through this life alone, and only a fool would try.” He drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I’m tired of being a fool, Lyn. And I’m tired of hiding behind you and the rest of the family, pretending that I have some sort of responsibility for making everyone else happy when the truth is, I’m afraid.”
“You’re not afraid—”
“Oh, but I am. I’m afraid of needing somebody in my life. I was afraid the whole time Jocelyn and I were married, so I kept her at arm’s length. I was afraid of the pain I felt when she died, so I ran back to Denver.” He closed the distance between them and brushed a kiss to her forehead. “But life’s too short. It’s too fragile. And I don’t want to spend any more of it running away from what I’m feeling. So, I’m going to see Marti, and I’m going to ask her to marry me. And I’m going to pray she says yes.”
He heard Kendra’s delighted gasp behind him, but he didn’t turn around. “I hope you’ll be able to accept my decision,” he went on. “I hope you’ll even be able to find it in your heart to be happy for me. But even if you can’t, I’m going to ask her.”
Lynette averted her gaze, for a moment, but when she looked back at him, she was no longer frowning. Not exactly smiling, but who knew, maybe given time... Either way, the ball was in her court now.
MARTI SAT in front of the fireplace, relishing the heat from the blaze. Cameron had gone outside to bring in firewood after dinner. Her dad sat in his chair, head back, eyes closed.
It had been an easy evening. A wonderful evening so far, and Marti had Rick to thank for it. He’d been right about Cameron. If she’d needed any further proof, she’d gotten it tonight. She thought about calling to thank him again, but she told herself to forget it. She didn’t want to destroy her family’s relaxed mood, and she didn’t want to disturb Rick’s family celebration. Lynette and Tom and the girls would be gone soon, and Rick would be alone again.
She wondered, as she had since the sleigh ride, if he truly did love her, or if he’d only been trying to show her what she needed to do with Cameron.
She believed that he cared about her. She knew he cared about her. But she still didn’t know whether he could put Jocelyn and their marriage behind him.
Her dad leaned forward in the easy chair, propping his elbows on his knees. “So, girl, have you made up your mind?”
Her heart dropped a little further in her chest. She didn’t want to talk about Gil. Not tonight. She sighed softly. “About what? Staying in Gunnison?”
“About everything.”
Which meant Gil. “I don’t—”
“I’m not talking about you getting back with Gil.” Her dad waved the idea away with one hand. “After what happened the other night, I know that’s not going to happen. And I’m not sure it should.”
That surprised her. “I thought you wanted me to get back together with him.”
“I thought I did. I thought you should. But that’s before I realized how bad things were between you....” He let his voice trail away, obviously at a loss for words.
She didn’t know what to say, so she let the silence hang between them for a moment.
“You know I loved your mother,” her dad said after a long time.
Marti stiffened. She didn’t want to talk about that anymore than she wanted to discuss Gil.
He stood slowly, and she realized with a start how old he looked. Old and tired and sad. “There was a time, right after you were born, when things were rough between your mother and me.”
“Daddy, don’t—”
But he ignored her. “I won’t go into detail. You don’t want to hear about it, and it’s none of your concern, anyway. But I made a mistake.” He met her gaze evenly. “One mistake.”
She felt a little better knowing that it hadn’t gone on forever. That he hadn’t made a career of cheating.
“At first, I hoped she wouldn’t find out. But she knew something was wrong, and in the end I decided to tell her what I’d done.” He rubbed his face with his palm, and Marti could see how difficult it was for him to talk about it. But she didn’t stop him. “Life was rough for a while. Real rough. I won’t say that it wasn’t. But she knew I was sorry, and she knew how much I loved her.” He turned to face her again. “She forgave me, Marti. And because she was such a wonderful, kind, loving woman, we managed to keep the family together.”
She tensed, wondering what was coming next. He’d already said he’d given up the idea of her and Gil getting together. So, what?
“For a long time, I thought you and Gil had the same sort of problem.” He held up both hands to keep her from speaking. “I knew how much your mother’s forgiveness meant to me, and I figured Gil...” He stopped, rubbed his face again, and spoke in a shaky voice. “I figured Gil felt the same way. I thought he loved you. And I thought he loved the Lazy M, but I was wrong.”
Wrong? She couldn’t have heard right. She didn’t think she’d ever heard him admit to being wrong before.
He sent a miserable glance at her. “What I’m trying to say is, I’m sorry.”
Tears filled her eyes. She whispered, “Oh, Daddy,” but she couldn’t force anything else past the lump in her throat.
“I don’t want you to go back to California—” He broke off, blinked a couple of times, and turned away.
Marti pushed to her feet and crossed the room to stand behind him. She touched one tentative hand to his shoulder.
He didn’t look at her. “You know how hard it is for me to say what I feel—”
She knew only too well.
“But I don’t want you and Cameron to leave again. I want you to stay. I think it’s about time you took over running the Lazy M.”
His words robbed her of her next breath.
“Not all at once,” he said quickly, and smiled at her. “But if anybody’s going to run this place after I’m gone, I want it to be someone who loves it as much as I do.”
She couldn’t see through the tears. She couldn’t think. She couldn’t do anything but wrap her arms around her father and hold on. “Really? Do you mean it?”
He chuckled softly. “Believe me, girl. 1 wouldn’t say it if I didn’t.”
She might not know much, but she knew that was true. “I never thought I’d hear those words coming out of your mouth,” she said with a shaky laugh.
“I suppose that’s fair enough,” he said, turning toward her and slipping one arm around her waist. “I never thought I would, either. So? Will you stay?”
“Say yes.”
She whipped around, surprised by the sound of Cameron’s voice behind her. He stood in the kitchen door, holding it partway open. Snowflakes dusted his hair and shoulders. His nose and cheeks were red from the cold. “Say yes, Mom. Please. I hate California. I don’t want to go back.”
She stared at her son. There was no sullenness, no anger on his face. He was merely stating a fact and waiting for her response.
“Besides.” He came into the room and let the kitchen door swing shut behind him. “What about Rick?”
His easy tone shocked her. She never would have believed he’d accept Rick as part of her life. Turning slowly, she glanced at her father to gauge his reaction. To her surprise, he didn’t look upset, either.
He lifted his eyebrows and met her gaze. “It’s a good question. What about him?”
“I—”
“Come on, Mom.” Cameron crossed the room and came to a stop in front of her. “We’re not stupid. We can see how much you like him.”
“But I—”
“And I’d have to be a total idiot not to see how much he likes you.”
Confused and more than a little off balance, she rubbed her forehead with the
fingers of one hand. “But—” She smiled gently. She didn’t want to disappoint Cameron again, but she couldn’t make promises about a relationship with Rick. “I’ll admit I like him. And I know he cares about both of us. But—”
“But nothing,” Cameron said with a playful scowl. “He smiles all the time when he’s around you, and you get this goofy grin on your face...”
She could feel herself blushing, but she couldn’t stop it. “This isn’t something you and I can decide,” she protested. “Rick lost his wife a couple of years ago. He still loves her. I’m not sure he’s ready for a new relationship.”
Cameron’s scowl deepened. “Yes he is.”
“What makes you think that?”
“He told me so.”
Whatever Rick had said, Cameron must have misunderstood him. “When?”
“A couple of minutes ago.” Cameron grinned and hooked his thumbs into the waistband of his jeans. “He’s outside on the porch waiting for you. He came to the back door first because he wanted to see what I thought about you two getting together.”
Her pulse stuttered and her mouth dried. How like Rick to care so much for Cameron’s feelings. Her love for him welled within her. She glanced at the window, and back at Cameron again. “Are you serious?”
“Dead serious.” Cameron slipped off his jacket and hung it in the closet, pulling hers off its hanger and holding it out to her. “I told him I thought it would be okay, as long as you wanted to.”
Her heart began to race, and she couldn’t breathe.
Her father nudged her forward. “Go on. Don’t keep the man waiting forever out there in the cold. Even I can see that you love him. I guess I’ll just have to get used to the idea of losing you again.”
Even the idea of leaving Gunnison, of losing the Lazy M for good, couldn’t wipe the smile off her face. She’d give up everything for a life with Rick. She turned to her father. “No matter what happens, Daddy, you won’t lose us. I promise.”
As in a dream, she slipped on her coat. She could feel her father and Cameron watching as she crossed to the front door and slowly pulled it open.
Rick stood beside one of the porch pillars, head down, hands stuffed in the pockets of his down-filled jacket. When he heard the door open, he looked up quickly and smiled. “Marti.”
She felt more than heard him speak, but it filled her heart with warmth. Such tenderness filled his eyes, tears threatened her own again. She pulled the door closed behind her and took a step toward him. “Cameron said you wanted to see me.”
“I do.” He closed the distance between them, lifted one hand and gently brushed her cheek with his fingers. “I came to ask you not to leave. I know we’ve only known each other a few weeks, but I’ve fallen head over heels in love with you. You’re all I ever think about, and...and I think we deserve a chance to see where this will lead.”
He looked so flustered, she couldn’t help smiling. “You want to date me?”
“I want more than that,” he said. “I want to spend the rest of my life with you. But I’m willing to take it slow if that’s what you need.” He let his gaze travel across her face, and she felt her pulse quicken.
“But I—”
“I’m not leaving,” he said quickly. “I’m going to stay and run the cabins. I love it here, and I know you do, too.”
He couldn’t have said anything more perfect if he’d tried forever. “Yes,” she whispered. “I do.”
“So stay. Stay here with me.”
She didn’t know what to say. Everything had happened so fast, she hadn’t even had time to catch her breath.
“I love you, Marti.”
“And I love you, but—”
“No buts,” he said. “As long as we can talk, as long as we’re honest with each other, we can work everything out.”
Slowly, hesitantly, he touched his lips to hers. Everything inside her seemed to thaw. All her reservations, all her fears, all her confusion melted away. She couldn’t hold back the soft moan of pleasure. She didn’t even try.
In answer, he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her closer. Her heart threatened to stop beating, then quickened. Her lungs refused to work for a moment, then filled with one deep, shuddering breath.
He deepened the kiss, working magic and ripping away the control she’d worked so hard to maintain. She let her hands travel slowly across his shoulders, then down the solid wall of his chest. He groaned and pulled her closer still. He probed her mouth with his tongue, and fire erupted within her.
“Say yes,” he whispered into her mouth.
She smiled slowly and nibbled his bottom lip. “Convince me some more.”
To her delight, he did.
EPILOGUE
CAMERON SCOWLED at the set of lights in his lap and worked the cord through the knot that had somehow tied itself while the decorations spent the year in the toolshed. Through the window, he could see snow falling, blanketing this land he’d loved all his life, and obscuring the guest cabins from view.
A mug of hot spiced apple cider sat on the coffee table in front of him, and Christmas music played softly on the stereo across the room. His grandpa dozed in the chair he always claimed when he came across the river to see them, oblivious to the popping logs, the music, the laughter that erupted from the kitchen every few minutes.
Cameron smiled. During the past four years, his mom had laughed a lot. He liked it. He liked knowing she was happy—with herself and with him.
He made another effort to untangle the lights. After all, he’d promised his mom he’d get the lights on the tree before Cherryl and her family showed up for dinner. But he couldn’t make himself concentrate. Tomorrow, Kendra and her parents would be arriving for the holidays, just as they did every year now. This time, Ashley was bringing along a boyfriend, and Cameron was looking forward to meeting him.
Out of the corner of his eye, he spied a chubby hand reaching for his mug of cider. Dropping the lights, he caught the tiny wrist gently with one hand. “Oh no you don’t, kiddo.”
The tiny face under the mop of curls as dark as Rick’s puckered into a frown. “Mine.”
“No,” Cameron said gently. “Mine.”
“Mine.”
He scooped the little girl onto his lap and nuzzled her neck. Noelle pulled away from him with a scowl. “Ouch.”
“Ouch? What—you don’t like my whiskers?”
“No.”
“Okay, I’ll be nice.” Smiling, he ran a hand across his chin. He liked the way his whiskers felt after a long day at the tech school and an afternoon working at Rick’s side. But his sister didn’t, and he couldn’t say he blamed her. “Where’s Mommy?”
Noelle pointed toward the kitchen door. “Wiv Daddy.”
“Okay,” Cameron said, and picked up the mug of cider. Blowing gently to cool it, he held the mug to his sister’s tiny mouth. “I’ll share this with you, but don’t tell Mommy.”
“Don’t tell Mommy what?” His mother’s voice caught him off guard.
He glanced over his shoulder again and grinned at the mock scowl on her face. She held the kitchen door open with one shoulder and balanced a tray of cookies with one hand. In the kitchen behind her, Rick held a bottle of wine and two stemmed glasses. Cameron grinned broadly. “Don’t tell Mommy how pretty the tree is.”
His mother’s scowl deepened, but he could see the laughter in her eyes. “You’re giving her cider again, aren’t you?”
“She likes it.”
His mom sighed softly, but it didn’t bother him the way it once had. “Just make sure it’s not too hot for her.”
“It’s not.” He held the mug toward her. “See?”
“Mine,” Noelle said again, but this time she wrapped her tiny arms around Cameron’s neck and gave him a slobbery wet kiss on his cheek.
He lowered the mug to the coffee table and ruffled her hair. “No, you’re mine.”
He felt as though she was his—his very own Christmas present from Santa two ye
ars before. The year before that, Rick and his mom had gotten married in his grandpa’s living room and they’d all moved into Rick’s place together. And the year before that, the year they’d met Rick, Cameron had finally stopped blaming himself for what happened to Chelsea—with his mom’s help.
Looking at his mother now, he could barely remember how angry he’d once been with her. Watching her with Rick, seeing how much they truly loved each other, made him wonder why he’d ever thought she should get back together with his dad. Now he couldn’t imagine two people less suited for each other. Or two people more perfect together than his mom and step-dad.
His grandpa had even mellowed. Just last night, he’d suggested that they turn the Lazy M into a guide service for horseback riding and hunters who stayed at the cabins. At first, Cameron hadn’t believed him, but he liked the idea a lot, especially since Grandpa suggested that Rick make him the head guide.
The only thing that left Cameron unsatisfied was his dad. If you asked him, his dad still didn’t know what he wanted. He’d quit his job at the feed store to work at the factory when they’d finally located twenty miles downriver on the other side of town. But even that didn’t make him happy. He still spent most of his spare time at the Lucky Jack. And he’d had more girlfriends than Cameron had in the past four years. But Cameron had learned to live with it, and to make the best of the time they spent together. And he still hoped that someday his dad would find a nice woman who could make him happy and settle down.
He brushed another kiss to Noelle’s soft cheek and put her gently on the floor. Lifting his mug, he offered a toast to Rick, his mom, his sister—to his life.
Once, he’d believed life was the pits. Now, he couldn’t imagine it getting any better than it already was.
ISBN : 978-1-4592-6400-7
LET IT SNOW
Copyright © 1998 by Sherry Lewis.