by Terri Nixon
‘We don’t know the truth of it yet,’ Archie reminded me, but he sounded worried now. ‘I’ll talk to him and find out. Or maybe get Will to. Either way—’ he pulled Pippin to a stop, and jumped down off the cart ‘—we’ve got some important stone throwing to do, haven’t we, Miss Amy-Anna-Banana?’ He lifted her off the seat and put her down next to me. ‘Go on, I’ll sort out the pony and meet you down by the river in a little while.’
I was about to agree, then I saw the way Amy looked up at him, and felt the hesitation when I took her hand and tried to lead her away from him. I couldn’t help a little smile. ‘You take her, Arch. I’ll see to Pippin.’
‘I don’t mind—’
I shook my head and looked down at Amy, and he followed the direction of my gaze. She hadn’t taken her eyes off him, and would clearly be perfectly happy to wait here all day for him if necessary. I understood how she felt, and stretched up to press my lips to the warm spot at the angle of his jaw. ‘Go with her,’ I said quietly. ‘I won’t be long.’
He blinked and cleared his throat, then scooped her up, and she patted his head companionably with her spoon, making him wince. ‘I’ll see you in short order, I hope,’ he said to me, and settled Amy more comfortably before setting off across the field towards the woods.
Still smiling, I turned back to begin unhitching Pippin’s harness. Leading him away from the cart, I heard the kitchen door slam and looked up; Belinda started across the yard towards the barn, brandishing a key.
‘What a palaver!’ she said as she passed me. ‘Who on earth would want to steal anything we’d be keeping in that old place?’
‘Seth was most concerned,’ I said, a little grin tugging at my lips, ‘and I’m sure he’s not worried about Frances.’
She rolled her eyes. ‘Not that again. He’s far too straight-laced. Too serious.’
‘Not like Nathan, eh?’
Bel sighed and stopped. ‘I know what I said to you, but he’s changed. We can all see it.’
‘Do you know anything about why he’s here?’
She shrugged. ‘Working, earning a living. Doing some painting when he can. It must surely be better for him than delivering groceries on a bicycle.’
She was probably right. I was creating shadows where there needn’t be any. Anyway, today was too precious to waste on any more speculation about Nathan; the quicker I finished here, the quicker I’d be able to join Archie and Amy at the river.
‘Give me a hand?’ I asked. ‘I’ll do your chores tomorrow.’
She looked across the field, where Archie was just disappearing over the ridge, and gave me a knowing look. ‘Well, since it’s you, and since the handsome captain is waiting… Just let me get a box for Mrs Adams. She’s putting another parcel together for Mr Pearce.’
I watched her go, amused by the sight of her wrestling with the new padlock on the barn. Her little grunts of increasing annoyance sounded so funny. I was feeling the joy of the day even more strongly now, and my insides leapt with anticipation as I thought about sitting beside Archie by the river, his voice low in my ear, his words making me laugh, and his breath making me tingle…
‘I would love to be the one to make you smile like that.’
I jumped. Nathan had crossed the yard from the stable without my hearing him. ‘I’m sorry?’
‘I’d like to paint you looking like that,’ he said, framing my face at a distance with his fingers and thumbs. ‘I’d call it: Who has claimed her heart?’
‘Don’t be silly,’ I said, embarrassed. ‘I’m sure Belinda would be happy to sit for you.’
‘Then I’d have to call it: Where have all her wits—’
‘Don’t,’ I warned him.
He smiled. ‘So, pretty Kitty, why didn’t you tell me the truth?’
‘What do you mean?’
‘You told me there wasn’t anyone,’ he reminded me. ‘That time in the barn, remember? I asked if you’d given your promise to anyone and you said you hadn’t.’
‘It was the truth. Then.’
‘But you’re no strangers, you and the captain.’
‘I didn’t lie, Nathan. Unlike you.’ He looked hurt at that, but the truth was he had lied. To all of us. And he might still be doing it. ‘Aren’t you glad you’ve told the truth now though?’ I pressed, watching him carefully. I couldn’t tell if he was being evasive, but he seemed grateful to see Belinda approaching, carrying the box Frances had asked for. She arched an eyebrow as her gaze went from me to him.
‘Here,’ she said, thrusting the box at him. ‘I’m helping Kitty. You can give that to Mrs Adams.’
I waited until he moved off, and gave her a little punch on the arm. ‘You don’t have to act all jealous, silly!’
‘I’m not,’ she said, then shrugged and gave me a sheepish grin as she started to unbuckle Pippin’s bridle. ‘Maybe a little. He really likes you.’ Then, as ever, her butterfly mind alighted on a prettier flower. ‘Oh! Did you hear about Evie? She’s got her diamond back, the one that was stolen before the war.’
‘Yes,’ I said, pulling Pippin’s collar over his head. ‘Archie brought it with him.’
‘It’s so exciting, isn’t it? She must be thrilled.’
I was about to tell her Evie would actually be delighted if she never saw the Kalteng Star again, but we both jumped as we heard what would have been a piercing shriek if we’d been any closer to it. It didn’t so much drift up over the field as rip across it. We both winced and turned towards the river.
‘You didn’t tell him about the spoon, did you?’ Bel said with a little grin.
‘It slipped my mind,’ I admitted. Poor Archie! Since there were no more shouts I guessed he’d learned a quick lesson, and my thoughts remained with him until Belinda nudged me, her arms full of Pippin’s harness. ‘Buck up, Maitland. You can live without him for ten minutes, surely. You’ll have to get used…oh!’ She looked stricken. ‘Damn my stupid mouth. I’m so sorry.’
But she was right. ‘Buck up yourself, Frier,’ I said, picking up the collar and hoisting it onto my shoulder. ‘Since I have such a little time left with him—’ I smiled at her to show I was teasing ‘—you’d better not make me miss too much of it, had you?’
Chapter Seventeen
I’d forgotten how annoyingly big the field was. As soon as I’d started across it I’d convinced myself I’d be there in two minutes, but as I went over the ridge to the lower slope, I remembered at least half the field’s length was still ahead of me. I’d started off at a run, but now slowed, not wanting to arrive sweating and out of breath—I smiled; he hadn’t minded yesterday. I don’t think he’d even noticed. At last I hitched my skirt high in order to climb the fence that ran the length of the field, and hopped down onto the path that would take me through the lower edge of the wood, to the river.
The day had not yet begun to cool, and the sun was still high, sending its rays down through the leaves to dapple the path ahead. The dampness from last night’s rain had not yet soaked away from here, so the smell was rich and earthy and I breathed it in with deep pleasure. My boots were rather too warm for the day though, and I looked down at the path, considering. It was muddy, but not overly stony, so I stopped to take off my boots and stockings, squelching my feet in the mud and enjoying the coolness on my toes. I hung my boots around my neck and stuffed my stockings into them.
So it was on silent feet that I came upon them, and I watched for a moment, enjoying the chance to observe Amy, unseen. She knelt on the wide, pebble-strewn riverbank, carefully selecting stones and building them one atop the other. After a few minutes, a movement to my left drew my attention and I shifted my gaze to see Archie, shirtless, bending over and grunting. I clapped a hand to my mouth to stifle a laugh; he was muttering under his breath and I couldn’t understand a word of it, but he sounded very, very cross.
Then he straightened, and my laughter died. He still had his back to me. I could see a web of scars across the tops of his shoulders and partway down
his back, perhaps a year old, but savage-looking. My hand fell away from my mouth, and while I wanted to be able to enjoy the sight of his smooth, muscular back, and broad shoulders, all I could think of was how it must have looked before it had healed.
‘Archie,’ I breathed, and he heard me and turned. His smile went some way towards quenching my anguish, but he realised what I’d seen, and beckoned me closer.
‘Don’t fret,’ he said quietly, tilting my face so I could meet his eyes. ‘It was a while ago, and it’s done. Healed.’
‘Shrapnel?’
‘Aye. You’ll remember I named Colonel Sumner last night. My CO, at the time he died.’ I nodded. ‘Well we were together when it happened; the trench was hit, we all ducked down, and we all got it. But I was luckier than some, Kitty. Be as thankful as I am.’
‘When was it?’
‘November last year. Actually it was just after your birthday, when I told you about the vacancy at Number Twelve.’ It looked, for a moment, as if he actually felt some part of the blame for what had happened to me out there, and that he regretted persuading me to come out.
‘And just after you’d seen Will safe,’ I said, to change the direction of his thoughts and remind him what good he’d done.
I read understanding and gratitude in his expression, and he cupped my cheek in one big hand. ‘I’d give anything to have spared you what you went through,’ he said softly. ‘If I hadn’t—’
‘It wasn’t your fault.’ I couldn’t think of it now. My mind was filled with horror at the thought of how close he’d come to death, and none of us had had the slightest idea. Not even Oli, or he was sure to have told me. ‘Why didn’t you let us know what had happened? We’d have visited. Which hospital were you in?’
‘I ended up being treated at the dressing station, and sent right back. Didn’t even make it out to a field hospital, let alone a Blighty ticket.’
‘But you’re an officer!’
He shook his head and it was only then I noticed his hair was wet, too, as a drop rolled down his temple. ‘It makes no difference. This was easily treatable. We needed everyone who could fight, or dig, or carry ammunition. Come on, Kittlington, you know better than most.’
‘I know.’ I sighed and rested my forehead against his chest, then twisted my head to check on Amy, but she was still happily building.
‘Why is your shirt off?’ I asked, remembering the grunting.
I felt him shaking as he laughed quietly. ‘Because I’m a bloody idiot. Amy was digging with her spoon at the edge of the water and I was worried she’d bend it, or break it, and tried to take it off her.’ His voice turned dry. ‘Thanks for warning me never to try that, by the way.’
I chuckled. ‘What happened?’
‘She let out an almighty shriek and pulled it back, caught me off balance, and in I went, head first.’
‘So you were wringing out your shirt when I came down?’ I gestured at the crumpled garment, now lying by the river. ‘I wondered what you were doing. What were you saying?’
‘I can’t remember, but it was probably the only bit of Gaelic I bothered to learn. You don’t want me to translate it either.’ His hand caught at mine, and raised it to gently nip at my knuckle, then kiss it. ‘I didn’t expect you here so soon,’ he said, by way of explanation. ‘You should have been another half an hour at least. I’d have been decent again by then.’
‘Are you sorry I saw you?’
He shook his head. ‘I’m sorry it was a shock, that’s all. It doesn’t hurt much any more, and I don’t really think about it.’
I stepped around him and looked up at the scars. Up close I could see for certain they were no mere scratches. Shrapnel flew everywhere out there. I knew that, and he’d been peppered by the stuff—he’d been lucky indeed. I traced the biggest of the wounds; it began just inside his right shoulder blade and wound downwards, almost to the bottom of his ribcage, cutting a jagged slice through his flesh and leaving a narrow white rope that would never disappear.
His skin rippled into goose bumps, and I wrapped my arms around him from behind. He tensed, and I spread the fingers of both hands as widely as I could reach over his chest and midriff; he was warm from the sun, and his breathing was shorter now, and light; I could feel each breath in the movement of his back as I lay my cheek against him, and when he spoke I felt his hesitant voice as much as I heard it.
‘Kitty, I know we can’t, not now, but…I can’t be without you tonight.’ He twisted in my arms, to look at me searchingly, then his mouth, lifted in a faint smile of relief, came down on mine in the lightest of touches before we both turned our attention back to Amy. If his heart was crashing anywhere near as fiercely as mine he showed no sign of it, but he kept shooting me little looks that kept up that glorious momentum, and made me hope I’d never breathe normally again.
‘Leave Amy here,’ Evie said later, as Archie and I prepared Pippin and Pirate. ‘She’s had a long day. She’ll sleep.’
I looked across the yard to where Amy sat on the kitchen step, scuffing the dirt with her feet. She played absently with the spoon on its ribbon, and I couldn’t suppress a smile and a wish I’d been there to see Archie tumble into the shallow river.
‘I know what you’re thinking,’ he said from behind me, and when I turned to say I doubted it, he tugged at his shirt and raised an eyebrow. ‘Aye, I know exactly what you’re thinking, ye wee minx.’
I grinned. ‘Do it again? For me?’
He growled and turned away, but not before I saw the smile twitch at his mouth. I couldn’t remember ever seeing him so relaxed, and he was clearly looking forward to getting back in the saddle again. He tightened Pirate’s girth and checked the stirrups, and I enjoyed watching his easy, assured movements.
‘Go as fast as you like,’ I told him, buckling Pippin’s harness; it wouldn’t be fair to make him stick to our pace. ‘Take the path across the moors. It’s a good, easy track, and smooth enough so you’ll be able to give him his head.’
He mounted Pirate with the smooth motion of long practice, and gathered up the reins. ‘Up towards Princetown?’
I nodded. ‘Turn left in the village, and go down past the station and the prison. It’s not far.’
‘Right. See you at the sawmill.’ He turned Pirate towards the path, and I was whisked back through the years as I watched him urge the horse forward. His riding seat was casual, his hands light on the reins, but his back was arrow-straight in the saddle, and his shoulders square. Every horse I’d ever seen him ride seemed to respond to the combination of mastery and gentleness, and Pirate was no exception; he set off at a steady pace, and I watched until they were out of sight around the bend before turning back to Pippin and patting his short neck.
‘Just you and me then, old chap.’ I waved to Amy as I climbed into the trap, and for the first time ever, she waved back. My heart gave a little lurch, and I tried to remind myself Frank would be coming for her, but I couldn’t deny the affection that had taken hold deep inside me for this strange, quiet little girl.
Out on the main road, with nothing on which to focus my mind, I found my thoughts taking the treacherous path I had sworn not to follow today. Archie had used up three days of his leave by going all the way to Oaklands, before finding the house closed up and travelling down to Devon. He’d been here a day and a night, would have to allow for a day’s travel to Dover, and then a night’s ferry crossing back to France, and several hours on the rough, congested roads back to Belgium. That left two days. Just two days for us to explore what we’d found, and to make our peace with the fact of our imminent parting…
I sat bolt upright on the seat, jerking on the reins as the thought hit me: I’d had the training, and the experience. They were bound to be able to use me back in Dixmude, particularly now Evie was here. I should go. For Archie, yes, but also because I would be more use out there now than I would ever be here. But what would it do to Amy?
Pippin had stopped obediently at my pull on the re
ins, and I told him to walk on, my mind turning over everything it might mean, and my heart speeding up as I grew more and more certain of what I must do. It would be hard on Amy, horribly hard, and even if I decided to remain at Dark River Farm I still had to explain that she would be losing her ‘Mister Arsh’ in a day or two. My chest tightened as I thought about that. Had it been a mistake, after all, to have let them become close? But it couldn’t have been. Just watching them together anyone could see that, even after knowing each other less than a day, each would hold warm memories of the other no matter how long they were parted for. I couldn’t have denied them that. And if I chose to return to my former duties, well, the war couldn’t go on for ever. If leaving the farm would be a wrench, leaving Amy would be like leaving my own child, but in all likelihood it would be worse for me than for her; she would still be surrounded by her new family. Lizzy, Frances, and even Belinda, would all be strong, solid and loving.
There was another question that made me hesitate, too. Would I be able to bear knowing exactly where Archie was when there was a push on? Evie said it was easier on her nerves that Will was stationed in France, and she was in Belgium, and that although the opportunity was there to move, she hadn’t been able to bear the thought of knowing exactly when he was going over. I’d experienced the same stomach-churning fear before, and understood it. It had been hard enough when I’d been over there working before, aware of the unit’s every move, and all through Oli’s trial, knowing Archie’s battalion was involved in heavy fighting, I had been unable to think of much else. But now, when we had found each other and had so much more to lose, now I had the memory of his touch, and his breath on my skin… Could I really do it?
We were almost at Princetown when I heard a shout, and the thudding of hooves away to my right. Archie had evidently waited for me further back along the path, and I’d been too wrapped up in thoughts of him to notice the man himself. He’d kicked Pirate into a canter to catch up, and now he was close enough that I could see his smile. From the age of sixteen I’d seen and responded to his physical appeal, but now he was so close to going away I had a desperate need to capture a moment that was wholly him, and keep it with me. The image of him on that horse, glowing with good health, his body alert to Pirate’s every movement and responding with unconscious grace and skill while his attention was solely on me… That would be what held me to him when he left, until I could be with him again.