He swallowed back the words that threatened to pop out of his mouth. After all, if she wasn’t talking, he’d be kissing her. He’d already vowed not to bed her again, but it was a damn hard vow to keep.
“Adam was a good brother, I think. He would tease me like big brothers do, but he let me tag along with our cousin Tobias when they went fishing. Then they enlisted together, and I ain’t seen them since they left. My daddy died a year later, leaving me and Granny behind. We held on to the farm, but the world around us fell to pieces.” She sighed long and hard. “We decided to head to Texas to live with Granny’s sister. Right before we headed out, I found the girls hiding in a broken-down barn on their farm. Their mama had died at least a week before. Poor things.”
She didn’t describe what she’d found, and he didn’t want to hear it. There was no need to explain since he could picture what the little moppets had endured. The war had destroyed the childhood of every American youth.
“What happened to your brother?”
“I don’t know what happened to him, and like I told you before, he wasn’t on the death notices. I looked every damn day for two years. I like to think he died a hero in battle, that way I don’t have to think about him and Tobias dying alone in a ditch.”
Gideon turned over. Her face was a pale oval in the meager light. “If you loved them, they couldn’t have died alone. You were in their hearts.”
Her eyes widened, and he was shocked to see they were suspiciously wet. “Thank you for that.”
His own throat grew tight at the raw emotion in her voice. He knew that kind of pain well, lived with it for five years, denied it every day too. Chloe was all kinds of trouble for him.
“Now it’s your turn.”
He grimaced and took her hand, which was soft and small in his. She rubbed the back of his hand with her thumb. It helped him start talking.
“I was born in Georgia, the only child of a cotton plantation owner and a Southern belle from one of the oldest society families in the state. My father was always disappointed in the fact I didn’t want to run the plantation or follow in his footsteps. He tried charming me to take over for him, and when that didn’t work, he tried force.” Gideon had to pause and swallow back the old bitterness before it spilled out over Chloe. “I had everything money could buy, including tutors, clothes, horses and cigars. The one thing I didn’t buy was friends. My cousins Zeke and Lee were there, along with Jake. I know he’s actually my half brother, but Pa never admitted it. He was a tough son of a bitch who fathered bastards on the help and denied them. But I knew from the moment I met him that Jake was his—we have the same eyes. Then there’s Nate. He’s not related by blood, but he grew up with us, son of the town drunk. The one thing we had in common was being failures in the eyes of our fathers. No matter how much we tried, we could never please them.”
“It don’t matter what your daddy thinks. It’s what you think that’s important.” Chloe was a tiny philosopher.
“I can say that out loud as many times as I want, but that doesn’t mean I can accept it.” He blew out a breath and chased away the ghosts riding his back. “My friends were my family, both by blood and by bonds stronger than it. We enlisted together too, and somehow we were all alive when the war was over.” Gideon thought back to the day they left to fight and how confident they all were. Naïve, stupid boys.
“Alive, but not?”
He closed his eyes and forced back the dam of emotion she threatened to smash to bits again. It took him a minute to be able to speak, and his voice had grown huskier.
“We left Georgia for Texas. We had nothing left at home but death and destruction. Tales of a new life, a new start, tempted us. It took a hard year of traveling, working, breaking our backs for nothing, starving until we thought we’d made the biggest mistake of our lives. Then we found Tanger, a town in worse shape than us, if you can believe it.” He chuckled at the thought, true as it was. “It was like the town was waiting for us to get there, and we just kind of fit together like puzzle pieces. We’ve been there two years now, and I don’t think I’d want to live anywhere else. It’s home.”
“Then why did you leave? You had someplace else better to get to?”
Her question hit him like a rock to the chest. Why was he leaving the place he’d finally found? Tanger was home. Visiting Nate was always a good trip to make, but he had run from Tanger, and his friend’s ranch was the nearest to escape to.
The truth tumbled out of his mouth before he could stop it. “I was running from myself.”
Chloe didn’t press him for more. “As much as I hate to say this, I’m glad you did, or I’d be alone. I reckon you might throw that back in my face, but it’s said now.”
Gideon hadn’t considered what would have happened to the Ruskins if he hadn’t been there. If he had still been in Tanger, Chloe would be alone, with no one to help her get her family back. Heck, she could even be dead, since whoever took Granny and the girls might have gotten rid of the smart-mouthed hostage. He didn’t want to think about the possibilities. He had to accept that something had sent him to find her.
The thought made his heart hiccup.
His brain told him there was no such thing as fate or being sent by an unseen force. As an ex-soldier, he believed in what he could see and touch, yet he did rely on his instincts. They’d saved his life more than once. That conflicted with his common sense. The thoughts whirled around in his head until he had to press his hand to his temple to stop them.
What he did know was that he accepted his responsibility for Chloe and her family. Exactly what that meant, he didn’t want to know. He had to stop questioning why, or he might really go loco.
He saw her shiver in the near darkness. Without asking permission, he pulled her close, tucking her against him like they were a pair of spoons. She fit perfectly, he was startled to note, and their combined body heat stopped her shivering. Gideon settled the blanket over both of them, and to his surprise, sleep claimed him.
* * * * *
She woke suddenly, but she wasn’t scared or startled. For the first time she could remember, Chloe was warm and safe, protected. She’d slept beside Granny most of her life since there wasn’t a whole lot of room at the farmhouse. During the trip to Texas, she became used to sleeping with the two little girls pressed on either side of her. Yet none of those experiences made her feel like she did waking up wrapped in Gideon’s arms.
Since she’d met Gideon, nothing had been familiar, emotionally or physically. She’d felt things she’d never imagined, experienced things that set her flying to the stars and crashing to the earth. Up until this point in her life, there hadn’t been much she could rely on, but she knew in her heart she could count on him. This stranger, this man who happened to be in the same place at the same time, had changed her life in a few short days.
It was a sobering thought and one that made her pull away from the cocoon of his arms. She had no right to be there, no future with him, no matter how much she might wish it. After they found Granny and the girls, Gideon and Chloe would be strangers again. This experience would seem like a dream, one she could replay in her mind for the rest of her life.
His scent filled her with each breath she took in. It was a pleasant, manly smell she could definitely get used to. Her behind was snuggled up against his man parts, and although they weren’t hard, Chloe’s body stirred from the sensation of just touching him. She didn’t expect that, yet given her wanton behavior on the wagon, she should have. The man drove her to be a hussy, and damned if she didn’t like it. However, finding her family was more important than scratching her itch to make love with him again.
Make love. It wasn’t quite an apt description of what they’d done, but it felt right to her. Chloe had never been attracted enough to a man before to want to do more than kiss him. And now she wanted to yank his trousers down and do all kinds of amazing things ove
r and over. She knew it wasn’t right, and even as her body heated at the thought, her mind pulled her back. Chloe swore her nipples complained at the craving for his touch and his tongue, not that he was hers to lose.
Pitiful as could be, she extricated herself from his arms and shivered in the cool morning air. She’d forgotten she was wearing only a man’s shirt. As she was padding barefoot toward the creek, she stopped in her tracks. Last night she’d left her dress and underthings on a bush by the water to dry. They were now draped over another bush close enough to the fire to have dried completely. The man would never stop surprising her.
She took her clothes and went down to the creek to wash and piss. A mist hung over the top of the gentle water, giving it an eerie look. A shiver shot straight up her spine, and she hugged herself to stop it. What was she afraid of? There wasn’t anybody around, and Gideon was sleeping twenty feet away. The feeling persisted though, and she rushed through cleaning up and yanked on her clothes. They were a little stiff from being cold, but at least they were clean and dry.
A small regret niggled at her. She shouldn’t have left him lying there asleep and alone. If Granny were there, she would have told Chloe to follow her heart and be with him again. But Granny wasn’t there and that was the reason Chloe hadn’t followed through with the urge to be with him. She had to find her family, rescue them from whatever monsters had taken them. It was war, and she had to be a good soldier.
A twig snap brought every nerve ending to life. It didn’t come from the direction of the wagon, so it wasn’t Gideon. She crouched down, reaching for the knife in her boot, only to realize she was still barefoot. Her boots were with Gideon. She was unarmed but surely not helpless. Chloe searched the ground for a sturdy branch. No chance she would give up without a fight. She wrapped her hand around the thickest stick she could find and waited. Her heart pounded as the twig snap turned into footsteps, stealthy ones to be sure, but she could hear them. Gideon had taught her that—to stop and listen in utter silence. She’d thank him later, if she was still alive.
The steps grew closer and closer, pausing, then restarting. She was going to stand up and start screaming like a wild woman if whoever it was didn’t get on with it. Finally they stopped just five feet from her hiding place. She gripped the stick, her breath coming in short, soundless gasps, then stood.
She raised the stick and swung with all her might, only to recognize the back of Gideon’s head just seconds before she knocked him on his ass.
“Jesus Christ, Chloe,” Gideon howled as he clutched his head. “What the hell are you doing?”
She threw the branch and dropped to her knees. “Oh shit, Gideon, I’m sorry.” She reached for his head, but he batted her hand away. Chloe told herself not to be hurt by the gesture. After all, she’d just conked him. Hard.
He glared at her. “When you didn’t come back to the camp, I thought something had happened to you. Hell, woman, did you have to hit me so hard?”
“I thought you were one of the kidnappers or worse.” She ached to touch him, soothe the hurt she’d inflicted, but she just sat there and accepted his well-deserved scolding. “I’m sorry.”
“I guess I don’t have to worry about you getting hurt, then. If all you had was a stick and you managed to crack my skull, you don’t even need your knife.”
She spotted her knife on the ground by his feet. He had gotten concerned and gone looking for her. It wasn’t a big gesture, but damned if it didn’t make her lose control.
For the first time since her family had gone missing, Chloe burst into tears.
Gideon watched her from the corner of his eye. After her surprising tears and the knock on his head—which still hurt—he didn’t know what she was thinking. Just when he thought he had her figured out, she did something unexpected. Like crying. Of all the women he’d known in his life, Chloe was the last person he expected to break down like that. She was tougher than he was, for God’s sake.
She had pointed at the knife, then at his head and cried some more. He hadn’t known what to do but hand her his handkerchief and wait. She had gotten to her feet with the knife and handkerchief in hand and left him sitting on the forest floor with his head throbbing and his mind whirling. She had caught him off guard with the stick, but there was no real damage to speak of, although he’d probably be picking bark out of his hair for a few days.
By the time he made it back to camp, she had stopped crying. She had also packed the bedrolls, made coffee and put the leftover cornpone out to eat. He ate gratefully, keeping an eye on her, wondering what she was thinking. If she was more like every other woman, he might have asked her why she had cried, but he didn’t dare. They needed each other, and he was already on uncharted ground with her.
They packed up and were on their way before the sun was fully up. He was glad of the daylight and picked up a set of wagon tracks straight off.
“Do you see anything?” Her voice was a bit rusty, and he thought it might have been due to the hysterics earlier but didn’t think it wise to say anything.
“There’s some tracks but not fresh ones. At least twelve hours old.” He pointed at the side of the trail where the grass had grown high. “Keep your eye on the grass. If you see any that’s been trampled or stepped on, let me know.”
She nodded and focused intently on her task, giving him a chance to study her. Chloe’s face was drawn, with circles under her eyes and a tightness to her mouth that made her lips almost white. The clouds obscured the sun, and she hadn’t put her hideous hat on. The light breeze tickled the explosion of curls on her head.
She was beautiful. Beautiful.
Gideon stared at her, rendered mute by his recognition of just how lovely Chloe Ruskin was. Her beauty struck him between the eyes, stealing his thoughts. He could imagine waking up to her every morning, being able to stroke her freckled skin and kiss her plump lips. It would be a life he could love. Hell, a woman he could love.
His throat went dry, and the world beneath him shifted. Gideon knew what he was thinking, feeling and accepting. Well, holy hell. He did need to leave home to find where, and with whom, he belonged.
With Chloe Ruskin.
He should be smart enough not to let her go now that he’d found her. But he hadn’t ever fallen in love before, and his experience with women was limited enough to make him into an idiot.
She scowled so hard her eyebrows touched, and he had the urge to wipe away her unhappiness. “There, do you see it?”
He shook himself as if waking from a dream. “What?”
“There. Right there.” She smacked his arm. “Stop the damn wagon.”
With a quick yank on the reins, the horses came to a shuddering stop, not that they were going very fast anyway.
“What do you see?”
“A ribbon.” She jumped down before she even finished speaking.
He wanted to chastise her for nearly breaking her legs and running pell-mell away from the wagon, but he didn’t. She wasn’t one of his soldiers and she sure as hell wasn’t going to listen to him. He had no time to ponder what it might mean if she became his wife, because she stood up and whooped like a raider.
It surprised the hell out of him.
“Martha! I know it was Martha. She’s the one who always thinks up trouble, but she’s real smart.” Chloe held up a scrap of blue clutched in her fingers. “She tied a piece of ribbon to this bush.”
He glanced at the tattered-looking ribbon. “Are you sure? It looks like it’s been hanging there quite some time.”
She shook her fist. “I am absolutely sure. We bought the girls this ribbon right before we left Virginia. It’s the same shade of blue as their eyes. We could only buy one length, and the girls split it between them.” She pulled his face down and kissed him hard. “We found their trail!”
He hardly had time to react before she went barreling through the brush lookin
g for more signs. In no time, they’d found the campsite with the ashes not quite cool. The grass on the side of the road was beaten down as if there had been something heavy resting on it.
Gideon smiled grimly at Chloe. “We found their trail.”
She whooped again, waving that tiny scrap of blue as if she had found a fortune in gold. He scooped her up and flipped her on his shoulder, carrying her back to the wagon as she protested loudly.
“What in tarnation are you doing?” She punched his back hard enough to make him wince.
He set her on the seat to stop any more protests. Then he kissed her, catching her breath of surprise in a hot meeting of their lips.
“Getting back on the trail so we can find your family.”
She rewarded him with a wide smile on her flushed face.
“Then let’s hit that trail, Blackwood.”
Gideon jumped into the wagon and used as much gusto as he could to get the nags moving. They were back on the scent.
* * * * *
He thought perhaps they would find more evidence of the kidnappers, but as the day wore on, they encountered nothing but dirt and a faint set of tracks. It was something but not much. Chloe’s jubilation at finding Martha’s ribbon waned as the afternoon faded into evening. It was hot and uncomfortable, and they needed real food. The meager supplies they had were nearly gone, and if they didn’t find sustenance soon, they might not ever catch up with the Ruskin family.
His stomach yowled loud enough it scared some birds out of a tree. Chloe looked at him askance but didn’t say anything. They had nothing but a few strips of jerky, some coffee beans and whatever water they could find. It wouldn’t last another day.
“We can catch a rabbit or something.” She touched the butt of the rifle. “I’m a good shot.”
“I don’t want to stop just yet. We still have a bit more daylight left.”
She nodded, and he had a feeling she was grateful. Every minute they spent looking was another minute her family didn’t have to spend with whatever bastards took them. He could have wept when he saw the buildings in the distance.
Devils on Horseback: Gideon, Book 5 Page 10