by M. K. Hale
“I’m not my mother.” I spun around and wheeled my cart to the cashier. However, Amelia had to have the last word.
“Are you going to uninvite the Garth family too?”
No. My mother had loved them. Still, Amelia’s question echoed one I had been asking myself since coming back to town.
What would I do when I saw Logan and his parents again?
“Welcome. Welcome… Welcome.” After saying the word so many times, it started feeling like a weird sound with no meaning against my tongue. It was the same with, “Thank you,” as a response to, “Sorry for your loss.”
Repetitive. Stale. Fake. Those words should have been the Meadowville town motto.
“Did mom even know all these people?” I inquired to my dad, and he gave me a small smile.
“They knew her.”
“You sure married a popularity queen.”
“Your mother had her faults,” he said. “But I hope one day you will be able to forgive her for them.”
“It’s hard to forgive.” The moment I said it, Nate popped into my head and my chest ached. I missed him so much. Now I could not even see him in a hallway or hear him on the phone through my wall. He was gone from my life…like my mom. Both were ghosts.
“We know,” a grating, hard-hearted voice stole my attention from my own thoughts. Gazing up, I saw Mrs. Garth, Logan’s mom and my mother’s best friend, standing in front of me.
Here. We. Go.
“Excuse me?” I tried to keep my tone civil. She was saying forgiveness was hard? They were the ones who should have been asking for my forgiveness after everything they had put me through.
“You’ve put our family through a lot.” Hell. No. “But we have forgiven you.”
I now recalled why I had nicknamed Mrs. Garth “Ice Bitch” in my head.
“Have you?” A growl escaped me.
“Allie,” my father warned, but nothing could cool me down from her fierce glare.
“Yes. I believe Logan is even interested in taking you back.” She continued making me want to scratch her eyes out. “It was your mother’s last wish. Are you going to deny her what she wanted, even in death?”
“Hell, yes.” I would never go back to Logan.
“So disrespectful.”
She was in my home at my mother’s funeral after her family destroyed my life, and I was the one being disrespectful? My nails dug into my palms.
“Me?”
“Enough.” The severity in my father’s tone shook me and for a second I thought he was talking to me, but his eyes were locked onto Mrs. Garth. He was defending me?
At that moment, Logan and his father stepped inside, behind her.
“Allie.” Logan moved so quickly, my body mimicked a deer in headlights when he leaned in and wrapped me into a hug as if he had permission to touch me. A panicked noise clawed its way out of my throat, and he released me. “I’ve missed you. I see that guy isn’t here. Single yet again?”
My scowl did not scare him away.
“Like another guy in the picture would stop you.” Mr. Garth chuckled and slapped at his son’s back with pride.
“The police certainly didn’t,” I commented.
Mrs. Garth did not laugh at my hilarious and dark joke. “Are you still lying and making up stories for attention? I would have thought you’d grown up. It’s very unbecoming of a young lady.”
“You know what else is unbecoming? Being put in a coma. Eating food from a tube is very unflattering, but none of you would know that since you never visited me in the hospital. Didn’t even send flowers or a fifty-cent ‘Get Well Soon’ card. That is pretty unbecoming.”
Mrs. and Mr. Garth gaped at me, while Logan tilted his head and looked at me like he just now noticed me there.
“Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to say a couple of words to the audience before the free meal starts.” I trotted into the packed grand living room where the guests waited for the dining hall doors to be opened to them. The two servers nodded at me, and I nodded back. They were not allowed to open the doors until I finished my speech. “Can I have your attention, please?”
Everyone turned away from the doors and scanned me with hesitant but intrigued eyes, as if I was a price tag and they were deciding whether to purchase me or not.
The whispers began. I heard bits and pieces of “daughter,” “Logan,” “lied,” and “awful.”
Perfect. Now I was being gossiped about in my own home at my mother’s funeral dinner.
A numbing, cold, and calm rage slipped through my veins and pumped along with my blood to reach my every limb.
I took a deep breath and read from the notecard. My mother had written my speech about her for me. It had been stapled to the will along with the details of the dinner menu, decorations, and guest list. Again, I wondered if she had known she was going to die soon, or if she had just been that prepared.
“My mother was one of the most beloved people in this town. She was smart, funny, and beautiful, and as close to perfect as a human could get—Jesus.” I cut myself off and flinched. Just read from the cards, Allie. Then dinner will start and it will be over. “She was a mother, a friend, an idol—” Idol? Wow, mom. Very modest of you to write this for me. “She inspired us all.”
I looked up from the cards to give a fake smile, as she had written, “smile sadly at the audience” on it. I did not see watery eyes, however. What I saw made me furious. They were still fucking whispering into each other’s ears and glaring at me. What the hell?
Meadowville would never change.
I threw the cards down.
“My mother was a strong person. Stronger than any of you.”
Now their whispering became loud comments. “The nerve of her to come back here after all the problems she caused the Garths.”
“Should have stayed wherever the hell she was.”
My gaze wracked the crowd for anyone not insulting me, and my body froze when I saw Nate leaning against the wall in the back of the room.
Nate. Nate was here. Why was he here? How? How did he even know?
He looked amazing. This was the first time I had seen him in a suit, and he now fit my fantasy of a sexy New York businessman. He was frowning. Not at me, thank God, but he frowned at all the people talking while I gave my speech.
When our eyes met, his expression told me everything was going to be okay. For some reason, I felt like a princess spotting her knight, ready to take her away from the dreaded tower. Or maybe I was the knight performing my last quest before I could go lift the princess off her feet.
“When will dinner be served?” a random person in the crowd asked.
I lost it.
Nate saw my expression and strode to me as if he planned to take charge and save me, but I put a hand up to stop him. I could save myself.
“When will dinner be served? It no longer matters to you because you’re leaving.” I motioned to one of the guards to escort the person out and, sure enough, he did. I smiled at the audience. My first real, free smile in a while.
“I hate you people.” My grin widened as the gasps sounded around the room. It felt a little twisted, but I was done with them. “I find you disgusting. You come to my mother’s funeral and talk badly about her daughter, the one who planned and put it all together. And during her damn moving speech, you whisper about her. When I think of you, one word comes to mind.” I looked right at Mrs. Garth. “Leeches. You suck on whoever you find important in this town and drain them of everything good. You stick to the rich, no matter what kind of people they are. And don’t think for a second I haven’t seen a few of you searching around for gift bags like this was some kind of goddamn birthday party.”
I continued, “I used to be afraid of you. I used to try to run from you when I wasn’t even on the same continent.” My gaze ventured over to Nate. “I used to think I needed to distract myself from everything that had happened to me, to live dangerously to feel alive again because you all dug me a fresh gra
ve every day and tried to bury me.” My smile grew. “But I am alive and I don’t need to prove it to people like you.”
I clasped my hands together. “So, if you did not know my mother personally or don’t have anything good to say about her, leave now or Dally Allie will kick you out herself.”
I turned my attention onto Nate because now, he was all that mattered.
Chapter 32
Nate:
* * *
It had taken every bit of my willpower not to kill the guy who had drugged Allie. If he’d had the chance to touch her…. Thank God for my instinct to search for her at the party. I had been harsh, shutting her down after she had explained herself and confessed she loved me. I had been trying to find her again to talk. When I had not found her downstairs, I checked the upstairs bedrooms.
By the time I got her back to her dorm room, she had passed out in my arms. Everything clicked in my mind while watching her sleep, so peaceful and calm. Peace leaked into my tense disposition when I was with her. The pang of loneliness I felt every day without hearing Allie’s laugh shook me to the bone. I loved her and I could not stop loving her.
It had broken me the way she had written about me, but what if her explanation was true? What if it had started off as a paper, but our relationship became real? What if she realized she loved me after she wrote it? What if we still had a chance? I could forgive her.
In the beginning, I had shut her down again and again. After every stolen kiss, I would backtrack us with a “We can’t.” Yet, she had continued to fight for me. Every time I pushed her away, she fought for me, which was more than anyone else had ever done. What she had written had hurt me, but I loved her too much to let her go. Hell, it was not as if she had exposed my secrets to a fad magazine for money, like someone else I knew. I admired how she had linked me to a true academic project she worked hard on. It showed her dedication and determination, and, in a way, I was proud of her. I had shared just as much with her as she had shared with me. We were equals.
I forgave her.
Staring down at her sleeping face, stroking her hair, I let out a little laugh at how simple it was to release my fears. I forgave her because she regretted it and she would not do something like it again. I forgave her because I loved her and she could have just let me go like so many others before her, but instead, she declared she would earn back my trust.
I left her dorm room at six o’clock in the morning because I had to get ready for my early final. I scanned through my notes one more time and went to the classroom to take the test. The entire time, I thought about getting back to Allie. Being with her. Seeing her every day again, talking with her, laughing with her, sleeping with her, and then sleeping with her. I craved everything with her because she had become my everything.
She was it for me.
After my test, I ran back to her room and knocked and knocked, but no one answered.
“Allie?”
She had to have woken up already. Lunchtime was around the corner. Dread filled me. Could the drugs have knocked her out for even longer? How much stuff had the guy given her? Should I have taken her to the hospital instead of letting her sleep it off? If anything happened to her, I would never forgive myself.
I grabbed my RA keys and opened her door, pushing inside.
She was not there.
I frowned. Where was she? Why was some of her stuff gone? Had she left? No, she had another final. She would not have moved out for winter break already. Why was she gone? Where did she go?
I stomped over to Gavin’s door across the hall. As her best friend, he had to know something. Please, let him know something.
My emotions were going haywire. Where was she? I could not go another day without her. I had already gone too long without kissing her and telling her what she meant to me. She did not know. I had been so rude to her, shutting her out of my life when she had been one of my damn lifelines. Had she left because of me? Would she even want to take me back anymore?
Gavin opened the door and—upon seeing me—looked around, confused. “Nate?”
“Where’s Allie?” If she had gone back to France, I would buy the next plane ticket. With what money? Any money.
“What?”
“She’s not in her room. Do you know where she went?”
At Gavin’s pained expression, I prepared myself for the worst. What if she left with plans to never come back? “It’s rough.”
“What is?” I would squeeze the answer out of him if he hesitated any longer.
“Her dad called her this morning to tell her that her mom died.” What? “She packed what she needed and got on the first flight home. She said she’d see me next semester.”
Damn. She had gone back to that hateful little town. The one full of people who had mistreated her and allowed Logan to walk free. Plus, she had just lost a parent. She needed me. My girl needed me.
I did not say another word to Gavin as I rushed back to my room and packed a suitcase.
Stepping off the airplane, I realized I had no idea where to go. I had remembered she lived in Meadowville because the name of it had sounded so fake and contrived; it burned into my memory. From what Allie had told me, it should have been called Weedville because it had taken a lovely flower and drained the life from her. I took a taxi there and got out, hoping to ask the townspeople where the Parser residence was.
“Do you know Allie Parser’s address?” I asked a random woman walking on the street.
She frowned. “Last I heard, she had done us all a favor and left the country.” She flinched when she glanced at my expression. I was well known for my signature glare. “Th-The Parsers live on Gale Street.”
I did not want to have to knock on the door of every house, but I would if I had to. “Know the number?”
“It’s the blue house.”
I would have thanked her if she had not insulted Allie in the first place.
Once I found the blue house, I stared in wonder. It was huge. Not quite big enough to be a mansion, but Allie had never let on that her parents were wealthy enough for this. What was the reason her mother pushed for her to find a rich boy? Just to keep money in the family?
Allie had never liked her mother, but the death of a parent hit someone harder than a WBA fighter. It creates a hole in a life, which could not have existed without someone to fill that role.
Her house had a sign in the yard reading, “Reception at 4:00.” Was the funeral today? With the plane ride, the taxi, and the search, it was already close to the time of starting. I could not just walk in wearing jeans and a T-shirt. It was disrespectful enough to go in without an invitation, let alone wearing casual clothes.
Fifty minutes later, I had walked back into town, purchased a cheap suit, and journeyed back to the house. I assumed all the guests had arrived because there was no guard at the front door preventing me from getting in, and the long driveway and street were filled to the brim with parked vehicles.
I slipped inside and blinked to get used to all the bright colors in the room. There were light blue decorations everywhere, thousands of white flowers, and most of the crowd inside wore bright pastels. Was I the only one wearing black? Wasn’t this a funeral?
A giant golden chandelier hung from the ceiling above where people gathered. While I searched the crowd for Allie, someone’s voice boomed over the others. A strong, powerful, and vulnerable, feminine voice. Her voice.
“Can I have your attention, please?”
She would always have my attention. She stood in a long, regal black gown, looking like a queen. Exquisite. Her head sat leveled, chin held up with confidence, as she gazed over the crowd. I moved to a back corner of the room, not wanting her to notice me yet.
She started the speech with note cards, but as the guests continued to whisper over her words, insulting her, she threw the cards down and insulted them right back. Their comments triggered my anger as well, but she handled it like a strong, defiant princess. No, a queen. She pointed out
their twisted loyalties and gross gold-digging habits, and she even went so far as uninviting all of those who did not know her mother personally.
I had never been prouder. What was I thinking earlier? That she needed my help to return to this town? She did not. She was fierce. Just like one of her tattoos, she was a flame. Fire burning so bright, any other light was meaningless. A flicker in comparison. She stood up for herself and shut down the gossipers.
She had once told me she never wanted to go back to her hometown because she feared she would turn back into the person who let what happened to her happen again. Now, she did not let any of them speak another word. She faced her fears. I never knew it was possible to love her more.
When she ended the speech and spotted me, we met each other in the middle of the room, which cleared out as people left, grumbling.
So beautiful. A wild thought ran through my head. If she looks this good in a black gown, she will be stunning in a white one.
“You’re here,” she whispered and touched my face as if to make sure I was real.
I kissed her palm. “And I’m never leaving you again.”
Her green eyes watered, lily pads floating in a clear pond. “You forgive me?”
“You wrote a paper about me, Allie.” I chuckled. How had I never thought how small and meaningless it was compared to what we had together? “That’s not a reason to throw away love.”
“So…” Allie’s father began, but stopped.
After Allie had kicked out most of the guests, only Logan and his parents stayed with us for the fancy meal. Allie had told me her mother loved Logan and his parents, and I was proud of her for sacrificing her own comfort to honor her mother. But damn, it was terrible. Still embarrassed from when I had given him two black eyes, Logan glared at me over the dinner table, sitting right across from me. Awkward as hell.
“The duck is good,” Allie commented through a sly smile. She couldn’t care less about the obvious discomfort of everyone. She had told me, “None of this matters now that I have you.” She had proceeded to be at ease in front of the people she despised the most. It was comical the way Logan’s parents were put-off by her newfound confidence.