I raise my glass. “To meeting new women.” We clink and drink.
“Mmm. That’s good stuff,” Mark says, feeling the warmth.
“Or course it is. It’s Oban.” My mind is still with her though. I glance over again, hating myself for the distraction of her. It’s like I can’t focus on anything but her. I see her leaning gracefully forward to place a glass of wine down for an older gypsy lady, saying something I can’t hear.
Mark gets an email and suddenly ups and leaves. Man that guy is whipped. I wish him luck and look at his unfinished glass. Idiot.
Annie looks my way and our eyes lock again. I can’t look away from her and I’m trying to. She goes to the first bartender and whispers something in his ear and I’m watching every second of it. As she leaves him and heads toward me, everything else disappears. There’s something in her eyes, something familiar. I’ve never experienced this kind of a reaction to a girl before. I don’t like it. I don’t like it one bit. I think you may have just met your match. No way. Not gonna happen.
“Want another?” she asks, placing her hands on the counter between us.
“When do you get off?”
She pauses and her eyes dance. She’s trying not to laugh.
Suddenly, I realize how that sounded, why she’s smiling at me like that. On a grin, I correct myself, “Off work, I mean. When do you get off work?”
She nibbles on her bottom lip through the smile, considering my question. “Why do you ask?”
I wait and let the tension build. Staring at her is addictive. “Why do you think I’m asking?”
Surprise flickers over her whole body. I see it. I want to make that body do other things. We stare at each other. I feel like I’m clicking into a groove I’ve been in before, looking at her. Like this is supposed to be happening or something. Like I’m supposed to be here. My pulse picks up speed even as I try to deny it. I have to have her just so I can prove to myself I don’t need her.
Reluctantly, she says, “We close at two, but then I have to clean up. Then I’ll be tired, so…”
The idea of waiting another night is suddenly impossible to me. I can’t do it.
“You need help cleaning?” I hold up my hands. “I’m very good with my hands.”
She leans in and rests her elbows on the bar, her face tilted to the left. “Promises, promises.”
I lean in too, taking the flirtatious cue and running with it. “Why aren’t you jumping on this? I can see you want me… to help you clean.”
She laughs. “You know what, buddy?” She looks at my lips like she wants to suck on them. “I don’t know you! Do you think I allow strangers in here after everybody’s left? When I have no one to protect me?”
I smirk. “I’ll protect you, Annie.”
She tries to look serious. “You’ll protect me from you?”
Leaning back, I exhale loudly and throw up my hands. “Fair enough. Okay. My name is Brendan Clark. Nice to meet you. I’m a Scorpio, I know you women love that shit, so there it is.” She laughs freely, and the sound is like music.
“I’m Annie…” She pauses, looking at me a little oddly. “O’Brien. Annie O’Brien? And I know you hate that shit so I’m not telling you my sign. Besides, it’s lame.”
“Lame! Great. So I’m scoring high on the points already. Awesome.”
We grin at each other. “I like your freckles.”
Her eyebrows twitch. “Yeah?”
“Uh-huh. O’Brien. So, you’re true Irish aren’t you?”
“Ninety percent.”
“What’s the other ten?”
“Bitch.”
I laugh. “Nice. Okay, back to me so you feel safe…”
“Right. Not because you’re an egotist.”
“Not at all because I’m an egotist. This is all for you, Annie Freckles O’Brien. So, to continue on with my introduction, you should know that I am very important. Verrrrrrrry, very important.”
She shakes her head, glances down the bar and holds up her finger to a waiting customer. “I’ll be right there,” she calls to the guy. To me she says, “I am working you know.”
“Right, I’ll finish this up. I’m the very important creative director for an internet advertising firm called Location Times Three. Kind of the head honcho. So you see, I can’t be a serial killer because that would hurt my upwardly mobile trajectory and I’m all about goals.”
Her bright blue eyes are sparkling. “Go on. This is your last plug. I need to go get that guy drunk.”
Making a sucking sound, I look down at my glass to think of something else to tell her. I have to get her to say yes. There is no other option.
Why not just go for it?
I reach out both my hands, lay them on the counter next to, but not touching, her arms. Her eyes shoot down, curious to see if I’ll brush against her skin. I move my index finger the length of her arm like I’m tracing it, but never once do I actually touch her. I stop and wait. She looks back up and I’ve got her. She’s breathless.
“My last pitch is that I live just around the corner in a huge penthouse loft that needs you walking around naked in it. Tonight.”
Her eyes go wide.
5
Annie
Would screaming, YES…be bad?
________
“Is that so?” I say, trying to understand how my arm feels like he touched it when he actually didn’t.
He stares at my lips. I can tell by everything he does that he knows how to make a woman scream. All I want to do is walk around that Penthouse wearing nothing but a smile.
“It is so. I go after what I want.”
I say quietly, “And what you want is me.”
“Yes.”
My heart crashes out of my body and lands on an alien’s head somewhere on Pluto. But I have waited this long... I think I should make him wait a few nights. Make him take me to a movie first or something. Men are hunters and they chase what they don’t have. Evolution hasn’t driven that out of them yet, and the sooner we women accept it, the happier we’ll be.
I shake my head and as I’m walking away I look over my shoulder. “I’ll see you at two.”
So much for playing hard to get.
“I’ll be right with you,” I tell the poor waiting customer.
Rushing to Barb, I refill her glass and whisper, “Do not act like you’re looking, but what is he doing right now?”
She does a great incognito glance around the room. “He’s putting cash on the bar and getting up to leave. Did you tell him to go?”
“I don’t have that kind of will power.” I snicker. “You want another? Oh wait. I’m already pouring it, aren’t I?”
“Your arms are covered in goose bumps.”
“Oh!” I give them a good rub and look up just as he’s about to walk out the front door. He throws me a little smile, a wave, and disappears. Oh. My. God.
6
Brendan
The Air: promise of fog. My Head: mentally kicked for what I just did. Immediate promise to self: 2:00 a.m. will have me anywhere but here.
________
There’s something about that girl that makes me think things I don’t want to be thinking. I grab my phone and call Mark. He picks up after the first ring. “Hey.”
I come up on a couple people sleeping in bundled clothes on the sidewalk, and frown. “Aren’t you gone yet?”
“No flights until the morning. Fucking curfew.”
Stopping to open my wallet, I bend and slide a couple tens where they can find them when they wake up. “Does she know you’re coming?” The economy has been eating up the world. I can’t stand it.
“No way. I emailed back her friend though.”
“The one you had sex with.”
He’s obviously packing from the way he pauses several times like he’s distracted. “Right. And she says we have to handle this right. So, I’m deferring to her judgment. I’ll go to her place first.”
Since I’m walking back the way
he and I came earlier that night, I see our usual haunts up just ahead. My feet pull me there like they knew that’s where I was headed all along. “She wants you to come to her place first? Wake up, man! You think this chick is really going to help you? You know she’s a woman, right?”
“You really need to work on your trust issues, B-man.”
I scoff, “I really need to keep living in reality, that’s what I really need to do. You go ahead. Run off to New York. Get yourself in the middle of this threesome and see who gets smashed. It’ll be you, my friend.”
“She’s not like that. She’s... Forget it. Hey. What happened with Strawberry?”
I stop just outside the window of Knockout. Teri sees me from where she’s sitting inside, and waves. I nod my chin to her.
“I’m not interested.”
Mark doesn’t say anything for a second and I wait, looking around. There are still plenty of people out. They’re keeping the fog at bay, but it’ll be coming later when the place clears out.
“What’s your problem?”
“Brendan, when are you going to let someone in?”
“Oh come on! Did you grow a vagina when I wasn’t looking?” Even as I say it, I’m listening too intently to his meaning.
He doesn’t acknowledge my vagina comment. “Look I’m going to be gone first thing in the morning. And if you come home tonight, I will be very disappointed. I expect to see your bed not slept in and empty when I leave.”
“What, you don’t want me to bring her home, so you have proof?”
He chuckles. “No, I want you to go to her place so I don’t have to hear you crying when she turns you into mush.”
“Hardyfuckinghar. Like that would ever happen.” It’s unnerving how much I wish I was back at Le Barré right now. I’m not happy.
Teri taps on the window with her nails. I hold my hand up, give me a second.
“I’ll see you next week.” Mark says.
“Wait, what?”
“The art show is this weekend, remember? The investors are meeting me there. So I’m staying through the weekend. Just going early, that’s all.”
I stare at Teri as she turns and heads back to straddle a bar stool in a very sexy way. “Oh. Yeah. I forgot. Okay, see you next week.”
“Now go get her.”
“Oh I’ll get her alright.” I hang up, turn and open the door.
Teri looks over, opens up her arms. “Where’ve you been?”
“Looking for you.” I give her a hello-peck on the lips and turn to Bobby. “Hey Bobby. Get me a Bass, would ya?”
“Bass?”
“I’ve got a taste for it tonight.”
“Sure Brendan. Comin’ up.”
As I put my hands on the bar and wait, I feel Teri’s arm go around my waist. “You have plans later?”
I stare ahead at the mirror, see her pretty face close to mine in the reflection. “Nope. No plans. What are you doin’?”
“You.” She nibbles on my earlobe as I watch in the mirror. My eyes are dead, just how I like them.
7
Annie
I now understand the expression dancing on air.
________
The night never picks up. But I have Brendan to look forward to, so it being a slow night again is the furthest thing from my mind. All the work I did on myself, all the time I took to lighten up and find my inner me – it was worth it. I don’t know what’s going to happen but I do know one thing: I still love him. Who knows? Maybe when I get to know him better, I’ll feel differently. But I doubt it. I saw him tonight. The old him. Funny how it took the new me to bring out the old him.
I look at the clock. It’s five after two. “How do I look? Do I look okay?”
Manny nods, clearly disinterested. He doesn’t understand why I’m asking.
The last customers head for the door. I call out, “Thank you for coming in!”
They wave, surprised. “Great place!”
“Yeah? Tell your friends!”
I watch as they vanish out into the night. With my hands on the counter, no one left but me and Manny, I stare out the window excitedly. Manny picks up the last glasses and walks to the sink. “You want me to lock it, Annie?” I don’t hear him, so he says again, “Annie?”
“What? Oh, No. I’ve got it.” But I’m still staring at the window, eagerly waiting for Brendan to walk into view. He was so cute tonight, rattling off his resume of attributes. It was difficult not to laugh and tell him he’s being crazy. He will die when he finds out it’s me. I’ll tell him. I should confess tonight. That’s the right thing to do.
“Boss?”
“Oh, right.” I walk to the door and pull on the chain that holds my keys safely to me at all times. Stopping halfway, I turn and call out, “Let’s just give it a few more minutes.”
“Why?”
“Let’s just wait.”
Twenty-five minutes later, Manny comes out of the bathroom with a mop. He looks at the door. “We should lock it now. It’s late. The fog’s come in.”
“Just another minute, okay?”
I look to the window for the millionth time. My heart has been plummeting with each tick of the clock. And Manny’s right. The fog is coming. We can both see it. We’re not in a bad neighborhood, per se. Mission used to be a lot worse, but the freaks do like the night. The fog is an extra bonus veil for them, easier to hide in. I don’t like to think that way, but I’m not naïve about these things. My dad was a hunting man. He and his buddies used to take down anything bigger than they were. Those types of men teach their daughters to be smart, so I learned early that an ounce of prevention beats a ripped skirt and therapy for life.
“You want me to get it?” Manny asks again. He sounds nervous.
I sigh. “No. I can get it.”
At the door, I wait another hopeful minute, unable to believe he’s not here.
“What time is it?”
Manny looks and calls out, “Two-thirty-five.”
I rest my forehead on the door, sliding the key in. Slowly, I click the lock closed, trying not to feel like the stupidest girl who ever existed. What was I thinking? He was just playing with me. He’s a player. It was obvious. This is what they do.
Fuck me for being such a hopeless romantic.
8
Brendan
At Knockout. Head: elsewhere. Irritation: building like a volcano in summer.
________
It’s after two and Bobby’s kicked everyone out but me and Teri. He’s remembering the time we had to kick a drunken guy out for hitting on a table of girls. “And this guy!” He points to me. “This guy goes over and says, ‘Excuse me. Is he bothering you ladies?’ All four of them nodded! The guy looked at Brendan like he was the biggest dick. But Brendan here is always the gentleman, and could see from afar that the girls didn’t like the guy.”
“It wasn’t hard to figure out. They were shifting in their seats and I heard one of them ask him to leave.”
Teri rolls her eyes. “Don’t be so humble. A lot of guys wouldn’t have helped. So what happened?”
“The guy told Brendan… What’d he tell you again?”
“I don’t remember.”
“Oh yeah! He said, ‘Dude, I’m talkin’ here. Why don’t you go back to where you were and forget about it.’”
Teri makes a noise. “I bet that went over well.”
“Yeah, right? Brendan replied, cool as school, ‘Why don’t you take off so the ladies here can enjoy the rest of their night without listening to a douche bag.’ The guy was pissed!”
I look over to the window, my mind on Annie. “Douche bags can’t be tolerated.” Teri glances from me back to Bobby, waiting for more.
Bobby holds his hand over his mouth while he talks, and says through a burst of laughter, “The guy reared back to punch Brendan, but B-man nailed him first. Right in the nose and broke it.”
“You’re such a badass.” Teri leans forward to run her hand up my thigh and give me a pec
k on the lips. I receive it, but my mind is elsewhere.
I look at the clock, staring at it, deep in thought.
Bobby’s laugh fades as he sees me. “Brendan, that’s the fifteenth time you’ve checked the clock.”
Teri asks, “Did you want to get going now? I can leave whenever.”
I don’t like this pull I’m feeling. I can’t get it out of my head that I’m not at Le Barré. That I want to be. That I don’t want to be anywhere else. That’s she’s waiting for me, probably thinks I’m a dick. What am I doing here? What is wrong with me?
I throw a questioning look to both of them, distracted. “What?”
“I said you keep looking at the clock. If you guys want to go, then go. I have a bed that’s calling my name, too. Only no one’s in it.”
I stare at Bobby like he’s speaking another language. “Oh, right.” Turning to Teri, I see the sexy gleam in her eyes, a look I’d usually be all over. She’s great. I like her a lot. She’s a regular, but man if I don’t see Annie staring back at me saying, And what you want is me.
I just need more time away from her. It’ll pass.
“Let’s go.” I get off the stool and throw some cash to Bobby. “That cover it?”
“Get the fuck out of here.” But he takes it anyway.
I smirk. “Asshole.”
“You looking in a mirror?”
Teri laughs and follows me. “How old are we now?” I hold open the door for her like I always do, but my smile is missing.
9
Annie
Asking myself the big question: Why am I here?
________
When I first got back to San Francisco, I rented the apartment in The Mission District. I furnished it sparingly with plans to add more as I searched estate sales for gems, saving money and finding a more eclectic mess of belongings that spoke specifically to my tastes.
Then during the first week back, I went to my old campus to walk around. I wanted to reframe my memories. It was hard walking through the place where I’d felt so differently than I feel today, so alone and sooooooo different.
Reaching Hearts (Hearts Series) Page 2