“No can do,” I shrugged. “I’ve still got bills, and I need to keep my job. My first probation appraisal is next week.”
“That’s a pity.” She said, casually spooning another mouthful, “Because I’ve already phoned for you.”
“Louise! That’s not your call to make!” Anger filled me, it wasn’t her decision. “And how’s that going to look - that I didn’t even phone in myself?” I stalked away from the table, reaching for the phone in my pocket.
“Where are you going? It’s already sorted.”
“I’m calling Mildred to try and stop any trouble you’ve already made.”
Mildred delivered the news that, although my level of work had been extremely competent, unfortunately, Sawyer’s & Co no longer required my services as an administrator. All monies owed to me would be processed within three working days. Her tone was extremely professional - too professional, too courteous.
I sat, speechless on the sofa that had brought me so much pleasure last night. The fact he’d disappeared without so much as a goodbye felt like a slap in the face, the empty sting still hurting.
Now that my job was gone, the Kindred Sons would have no use for me. I was expendable and knew too much. Unbidden tears streaked down my cheeks as the hard, cold reality sank in: No job, no more money, linked to the Kindred Sons, death threat by the McCauley’s, and used for a cheap fuck by Jake. And as I heard the footsteps come to the door, I knew one last thing.
No escape.
Chapter 23
Bella
I was always proud of the way I could hide my tears. “Never let the bastards see you cry.” My mother had told me from I was old enough to remember. It was how she’d lived her life. Right now, I knew my mother would have been disgusted with the sight of me.
“Shhh.” Louise said as she put an arm around me, rubbing my back.
Louise must have thought I was over-distraught about a job I’d only had for a few weeks, but I cried for more than the job. My new start, the one where I’d make it up to Ryan. I was going to be the big sister I should always have been before leaving him for a man who not only used me but chipped away at my spirit until I thought it was acceptable for him to abuse me. It wasn’t until he’d battered me so badly that he took away the last thing I thought I could truly love, that would maybe love me, our child within me, when I finally didn’t care if I lived or died, only when I reached that moment, that point, where I finally stood up to him - to push him to finally put me out of my misery, that he left me. Leaving me so badly beaten, physically and mentally, that leaving me alive and barely breathing felt like his last “fuck you”.
Louise sat quietly, keeping me company as I was overcome with the emotions I’d been hiding, fighting and denying for so long. It was like something had broken within me, and absent mindedly I supposed that should fill me with fear. Now I’d opened the floodgates, what if I never stopped crying? I wept until I was sore: haggard breaths and stinging eyes.
“I don’t know what else is going on for you, but I could feel your pain. You don’t have to tell me, but you should talk with someone.” She took a steadying breath. “I’ve been to counseling and it really does help - it won’t fix anything, but usually things that make us cry so sore can never be fixed, nor should they.”
I nodded, the nurses took every single chance they got to encourage me to go to therapy too. But nothing could ever bring me to a place where I could be at peace with what had happened.
Twenty minutes later, when I’d finally came to an empty silence, the words came, “I really hoped that once I’d come back to Londonderry that things could work out.” Shit.
“Back to Londonderry?” Louise straightened as she sat.
Fuck! “Yeah, I wasn’t born here, but I grew up here until my early teens.” I peeked over at her, her face expressionless. “It was easier to let you think I’d lived in Enniskillen for all my life.”
Her expression had turned to stone. “And why would you do that?”
“I wanted to make a fresh start.” I said as if that explained everything. “I know, I should have said.”
“Moving for a fresh start’s fine, why lie about it?” there was an edge to her voice now.
“It wasn’t lies, exactly. I just didn’t say.” I hoped that would help. “I was trying to get away from an ex.” It actually felt like a relief that someone knew.
“And he wouldn’t have thought of looking here?” she said sarcastically. “I don’t buy it.”
“Well, um, getting away from him was part of it. My brother’s hoping to get parole in a few weeks and I wanted to be here to support him.” I picked at the fluff on my work trousers, not daring to look at her again. “By the time I was going to tell you, it was a bit too late.”
“Brother? So you’ve got family and friends around here?!” She let out a dry laugh, “Have you all been laughing at me for feeling sorry for the new girl?”
“No!” I shook my head, “Nothing like that. I’d managed to alienate any friends I had, they haven’t spoke to me in years.” I remembered Robert as he turned me against each of them, pulling my strings until I pushed each of my childhood friends away. “No, Ryan’s the only one left. But I wasn’t here for him when he got into drugs, ended up owing a lot of bad debt and got caught when trying to repay the debt.”
She stood up and paced. “Who does he owe?”
She stopped dead when I told her it was the McCauley’s.
She slumped into the chair beside her. “You should have told me that was why Denver was trying to blackmail you.”
My eyes met hers, “It wasn’t, he doesn’t know. I swear that’s not what happened. He doesn’t know me, and he couldn’t know Ryan.” I hoped. I had tried not to think about it ever since she’d told me about the link Denver had with them.
Louise waited for a while longer, eventually blowing out a deep breath. “You should have said a lot sooner, Bella. This is a huge fuck up.” She chewed on her bottom lip before continuing, “The Kindred Sons honour their promises, and by bringing you here, Jake has assured you that this threat will come to nothing. We need to tell him - you should have told Carrick as soon as you met.”
A car arrived in the driveway and I recognized it immediately. Jake was back. I wiped my eyes and blew my nose again, I looked a mess but I would not let him see my tears.
The door slammed and two heavy feet pounded into rooms, looking for us, then he began to roar. His face turned to pure fury when he saw us sitting together. “What the fuck is that bitch still doing here?”
Chapter 24
Jake
I lay in serene peace, listening to Bella’s slow, deep breaths. We’d just had the best sex of my life and I was content, knowing the woman laying beside me was so deeply satisfied. Bella, I loved the sound of that name, it was calming, almost soothing. Bella. I started to drift over to sleep myself, but was woken by the vibrations of my phone on the floor.
“Nev.”
“I’ve got your file ready, Jake. Do you want me to drop it over tonight or in the morning?” Nev, as always was straight to the point.
I made my way quietly out of the bedroom and down the stairs. “Well bud, is that woman of yours gonna let you go out to play at this time of night?”
We’d agreed to meet early the next morning at the gym. I lifted Bella’s rucksack and gathered her clothes from the lounge. I’d be gone before she’d rise tomorrow morning and I was pretty sure she wouldn’t be as keen to walk around my home naked to retrieve her things then. I put her clothes in the room and took one last look at her pert, round ass.
A selfish part of me wanted to stay, to slip my hands around her through the night and make her moan again… but doing that was unfair on her - she would assume I would want a relationship - women always did if you actually slept with them. No, I would go back to my own room.
There was a chill in the air so I pulled the covers around her, closing the door behind me as quietly as I could before going to my own bed.
&n
bsp; In the morning I dressed and left as quietly as I could; I’d be back with the file before she’d be awake. As soon as the Blue tooth connected in my car, I phoned Louise. I knew my home was secure, Bella would be fine for the hour I’d be gone, but with the death threat last night, I wanted her to feel safe - with company.
When I arrived at the club, da’s car was already there. That wasn’t normal - he didn’t come around here, let alone this early. I walked into the back office, where he was milling around.
“The girl is playing you, son,” he said regretfully. “Ye’re too young to mind them, but I recognized her when I saw her. She’s Sarah White’s wee girl, Sarah’s her real name too.”
The name didn’t mean much to me, but I’d known I’d recognised her face at the start. I’d seen her around… school, maybe? Was he right? Why would she lie about her name? She looked like a Bella - Sarah was foreign to the woman I knew, the woman I’d made love to.
“And what?” I didn’t like his tone, and sure as fuck, I wasn’t going to let him see that he’d hit something I’d already wondered about. So what if she’d changed her name - I’d still call her Bella tho, I mused.
“And, Jake, it wouldn’t mean a fucking thing… except that she’s lied to ye.” He raked his hands through his hair. “Oh aye, and except I remember reading about Ryan White, her brother, getting put away a few years ago for his part in a bust on a McCauley robbery.”
The hurt felt like a massive punch to my stomach. She would have known all about us, about them, yet acted so innocent to it all when Louise and I went to her flat.
She must have known Denver, the thought bubbled in my mind, in fact, she probably wasn’t being blackmailed by him at all - she staged the whole thing. I replayed the images of last night through my head. I was played, she knew exactly what she was doing last night. Probably even knew when they’d ransack her home - maybe even tipped them off that I’d been there.
And to think I’d actually thought she could be anything more to me than a fuck. I’d actually considered…
Rage practically blinded me, my fists found the table in the office, beside him. “I’ll fucking kill her, and then I’ll kill that cunt, Denver.”
My office door made the mistake of being closed, it nearly came off its hinges as I stalked through it and back to my car. She had better be gone before I got back.
Chapter 25
Jake
Louise looked at me in complete shock with her mouth gaping open. Bella didn’t even have the good fucking grace to look me in the eye. She sat there, head down with her hair covering her face.
Blood pounded in my ears, “Do I have to lift ye myself and throw you out?” I felt my hand fist in anger. “Or are ye waiting to get some more info to feedback to yer wee buddies.” I looked at Louise as I nodded at Bella. “I don’t suppose she’s told ye that she’s involved with the McCauley’s? Her brother did a bit of work with them a while back? Isn’t that right, sweetheart?” My focus returning to the only person who had managed to hurt me so deeply in years.
“Never thought to mention your waster of a brother, did ye? Surely ye’re not embarrassed?” Resentment and bitterness clawed up my chest. “Was it really a burglary he was sent down for or was there a deal done with the cops? I hear the boys inside don’t take to well to dealers who sell that shite to kids? That’s what the McCauley’s do, isn’t it?”
“He never…” I cut her off by lifting my hand up, signalling her to stop speaking.
“Don’t ye even fucking dare try to lie to me in me own fucking house.” I paced the floor again, “Are ye gonna sit there all fucking day? Get the fuck out of my house and you’d better hope I never see your face again.”
“Jake…” Louise said softly, “Jake, I think you might have things a bit wrong.” She was still sitting beside Bella - how could she? Louise was not easy to fool, but she’d swallowed whatever rubbish this bitch had spun her - I watched as Bella lifted her hand to wipe her still hidden face. Tears: the ultimate woman’s weapon.
“Ye think?” I said, sarcastically. “Well, did ye know about her brother then?”
“Yes.” Louise said simply. “We’d been talking about him - what he’d done and his upcoming parole. She’s told me that she grew up around here too.”
“Convenient that it comes out now, isn’t it? It’s a bit late to start telling the truth.”
Louise, my cousin, but who I held as a sister, still remained sitting beside Bella. “Go on, you need to tell him… everything.”
For the first time since I’d came in, Bella lifted her face to look at me and a tiny part of me twisted. Apart from a couple of tears she’d just wiped away, she hadn’t cried since I came in. But her face told a completely different story - puffy eyes and red cheeks showed that she had been crying before I’d came in. There was fear in her eyes, but how could I know that wasn’t fear of having being found out. She’d have known what the Kindred Sons did to informants - even women - not that it was something I agreed with, but the family came first. Always. Blood and Loyalty.
I wanted to believe her as she found her voice, talking about her childhood in this very area. Her stories about her parent’s breakup, her grandmother taking custody of her and Ryan, how her alcoholic mother drank herself to an early grave. She cried as she told me about meeting a guy - someone her grandmother disapproved of and her brother hated, but she’d left her family for him. She didn’t even come back when Ryan had phoned her for help when he’d owed the McCauley’s money. As Bella told me about how the guy she’d been with ended up knocking her about. I wanted to kill the bastard myself. To do that to an innocent was unforgivable.
Something shifted in the way she spoke about how she ended up in hospital - she was still hiding something. That incensed me again, for a moment I had wanted to believe her, despite myself… but she never said any of this before - what makes it true now? Knowing she was hiding something more still made me loose complete trust. What a great little actress.
“Aye, sure that’s a real tear-jerking story, Bella. Had me choked up.” I stood up again, “Look, I only listened to ye for Louise’s benefit. Now, Bella, it’s only for Louise here that I’m being so nice to ye, so thanks for yer wee stories but I want nothing more to do with ye. Get your stuff and get out.”
She rose quietly and fumbled around, gathering her things together. Louise spoke quietly with her, asking where she was going and what she’d do, all the time, Louise was flashing irritated expressions at me - she clearly had bought everything “Bella” had said. When Louise asked if she needed any money, “Bella” shook her head and straightened her back, the last bit of pride and defiance coursing through her. “I don’t need anything.” As she made her way towards my door, to leave forever, I felt the urge to hold her, to kiss those lips for one last time and to somehow forget the lies and deceit that had brought us to here. My father’s image came into my head, I knew what needed to be done.
I had followed her to the door, drawn to her even as I knew she needed to go. Then one last thought passed through - if there was any hope for redemption here, if she truly was being honest, then she’d tell the truth on one question. “I’m gonna be nice and ask ye one last question before ye go. We both know the honest answer to it and if ye have any sort of decency, to tell the truth, now’s the time to do it. Now’s the time to try and redeem something. So, Bella, are ye working for them?”
She looked me in the eyes as she lied to me: “No.”
“You’d better leave now, Sarah White. Before I have to do something you really wouldn’t like.”
I walked away, watching as Louise’s face filled with confusion as she looked at the woman she’d took as a friend. “Bella? Sarah?”
I chose to walk away, uninterested in what words were then exchanged between them, but voices were raised, then I heard Louise opening the door and throwing her out, the door slammed shut straight after. I put my ear buds in and began another tormenting workout in my home gym. I needed to
forget her, I needed to forget everything about her.
Chapter 26
Jake
In the week that followed, I’d expected Bella to surface somewhere. I couldn’t bring myself to calling her Sarah when I thought about her - which was often. Louise had stayed at the house for the rest of the day after I’d threw Bella out, but I’d seen very little of her since and spoke with her even less. I reasoned that was because I’d been busy - I’d intensified the Kindred Sons training. The guys were getting beatings from me every night, but on the plus side, the training was getting better.
From what I understood, Denver still had no idea that Louise was linked to us, but even still I had made sure the guys kept a close eye on her just in case. Nev had been assigned to watch Bella’s flat. That had not gone as smoothly. It turned out that she never returned to it, and as she hadn’t collected the key for the new locks on her doors I was certain she hadn’t slipped in and out without our notice. I was disappointed, believing that she must have been with the McCauley’s, but an email that was sent to my work account from a throw-away address raised my concerns.
I Need A Bad Boy: A Collection of Bad Boy Romances Page 53