by Maria Hollis
Adorable as always.
A vintage style notebook with flowers on the cover is placed beside the pile of books. Chris brushes her fingers against the first page, where the owner had written the words Josalie T. Navarro. The handwriting is a bit sloppy, inclined to the right. She doesn’t know why, but Chris had been expecting neater writing from Josie’s hands. Somehow the real thing looks even more enticing.
She hears the bathroom door opening and turns back towards Josie.
“And I’m the messy one then?” Chris says mockingly.
Josie smiles and walks leisurely towards her. When she is close enough, she stands on tiptoe and brings her arms around Chris’s neck, kissing her fiercely. With a jump, she circles her legs around Chris’s waist, and the girl stumbles a bit before resting Josie on the desk.
It feels so good, and she wishes she could stay in this moment forever.
Well, if it was any other time it would be more than good, actually.
“As much as I’d love to keep this going… we have to go,” Chris says as she breaks the kiss.
“No, we don’t.”
Josie stares intensely into her eyes, daring her to disagree.
“Ugh, we do,” Chris tries again. “Lily is opening the store alone today, remember?”
Josie groans and finally lets go of her.
“Damn it, Lidiane. Talk about ruining the moment,” she complains.
“Hey! Don’t ever let her hear you calling her that,” Chris warns Josie with a laugh.
***
Business is beginning to pick up at the bookstore.
It’s the end of July and tourists are pouring in and out of the store, looking for a place to cool down. Maybe half of them don’t buy anything, but at least the bookstore is busy, and it’s taking in more money than it normally would during the winter months.
No one comes to Lillac Town in the middle of winter.
It may not be the most exciting place to visit with no beaches or pool clubs during the summer, but when it’s winter, the streets seem to turn into a scene from a zombie movie. Only the students and local residents live here all year round. Lillac U is a good place to study if you don’t have enough money for the bigger universities in the state, but still want to earn a good degree.
It’s the reason why Chris had chosen to study here two years ago.
It was far enough from her parents to feel independent and located in a city where she wasn’t going to feel suffocated by large crowds. After living here for a couple of years, she ended up falling in love with the place. Working at the bookstore had a big part to play in this. Susan was an easy going manager who never made them work more than what was necessary. Sure, she could be quite clumsy and occasionally forgot to send out an order form for some of the books, but that’s why she had Lily and Chris to help. At least she never missed any payments and took good care of the money.
Before them, Ursula had worked five years at the store as Susan’s partner.
She was the person who trained Chris when she came to Johnson’s. Ursula taught her how to organize the books, how to deal with the rudest clients and everything else she needed to know. But she had fallen in love with a Canadian boy last summer and eventually left the country to marry him.
It was hard to find someone to replace her after that. They had more than a few students who used to scare away all the customers and wouldn’t stay on for more than a few weeks.
At the end of last year, they found Lily.
Although, it might be more accurate to say she found them.
It was a cold Wednesday evening when a pink-haired girl came running through the door, tears falling from her red and scared face. She asked her where the manager was and Chris, completely startled, brought her to the storage room.
Lily begged Susan for a job, saying she couldn’t deal with living with her parents anymore. She had already done a load of unsuccessful interviews in other places, and she was getting desperate. Lily hadn’t gone into much detail about why she had to leave her parent’s home, although she had said later that their prejudice and disapproval of her sexuality had played a huge role.
Now, she’s living with three other girls in a shitty apartment half an hour away from downtown after getting help from one of her Brazilian friends. But she is studying and excited about her plans to get into Lillac U in the future. Meanwhile, Chris believes she is getting ready to be the next interim manager for when Susan finally takes her well-deserved vacation.
***
Chris watches as Lily runs around the store, making sure the customers are being looked after. She manages to sell three or four books more than Josie, who tends to chat with a client for a while before making a sale. It’s only after 3 p.m. that things settle down, and she finally stops by the counter.
“Can you let me take care of the money for the rest of my shift? I need to sit down.” Lily sighs.
“Yeah, sure,” Chris says and swaps places with her.
There are just a few younger customers around, and she checks to see if they are looking for something specific. From the back, one of the girls seems familiar, and Chris tries to discreetly catch a glimpse of her face through the displays without being caught.
It’s not until she is right in front of her that Chris recognizes who is staring at the romance shelves.
Tabitha.
Chapter 10
“Oh, hello Chris,” the girl says while adjusting her glasses.
For a moment, Chris is speechless. The image of Tabitha in her Marvel shirt and messy dark bun completely surprises her.
It’s been months since she last saw her and nothing seems to have changed. She still has a few remaining blonde highlights in her hair and the same used backpack on her back. Of course, it shouldn’t be any different, but Chris still feels like she would be different. Maybe it’s because Chris herself feels she has changed.
She wonders if anyone else can see the change in her or if it’s really just something internal that she alone can appreciate.
“What are you doing here?” is what she asks when she finally finds her voice again.
Tabitha frowns. A blush covers her fair face for just a second, and she looks around as if searching for her answer.
“I need a book for my summer course. I… forgot that you work here,” she stutters.
What does she mean by forgot?
They broke up only three and a half months ago. That wasn’t enough time to forget where your ex-girlfriend works. It’s not like the neighborhood only had one bookstore. Tabitha could have gone to any of the others, ones closer to where she lives. Or better yet, borrow the book straight from Lillac’s library.
“Everything okay here, Chris?”
Josie appears on Chris’s left, her eyes sending her a questioning look.
This just got even more complicated.
“Actually, no. I’m just… I need to… Never mind,” Tabitha tries to say. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have come here.”
In her haste, the girl almost trips over a pile of books behind her.
Automatically, Chris’ hands reach out, but then she stops herself. She isn’t allowed to do these things anymore.
“You don’t need to leave, really,” Chris implores.
They don’t have to avoid each other forever just because their relationship is over. She can be an adult about this.
“Still…” Tabitha says with a shrug. “This was just awkward, and I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable.”
Beside Chris, Josie is still staring at them in confusion.
“Sorry, but is there a problem here?” she asks again, trying to catch Chris’s attention.
“Do you work here too?” Tabitha wonders.
As if the bright orange shirt with Johnson’s Bookstore written in it isn’t proof enough.
“Yes, I’m Josalie.”
After she says that, Josie sends Chris a questioning glance as she nods in Tabitha’s direction.
Right. Introd
uctions.
“Josie, that’s Tabby… I mean, Tabitha. My ex,” she adds.
In a second, Josie’s lips lift into a sweet smile. There is something almost devious shining behind her eyes before she opens her mouth to say:
“Oh, nice to meet you, I’m sure. I’m her girlfriend, Josalie.”
Chris barely has time to register what is happening, her heart trying to break out of her chest as she watches Tabitha sending her a surprised stare.
She was certainly wrong when she thought things couldn’t get any more awkward than they were.
The three of them stay silent for a fraction too long, until Tabitha takes a step back and a different expression crosses her face.
Was that guilt?
“I’m happy for you guys,” she says insincerely, after a beat. “Maybe we can catch up another time.”
“Yeah, maybe.”
Even as she says the words, Chris knows they aren’t true.
What exactly would they talk about? There isn’t enough between them anymore to sustain a friendship. Besides, why should she allow someone who consistently used to make her feel bad about herself back into her life? Chris can’t remember feeling this happy or secure when she was with Tabitha. It might seem selfish when she thinks like that, but she also knows that a clean break is the best thing to do for her own health.
“I’ll see you around,” Tabitha says, as she leaves.
Chris watches as she exits the store and wonders again if maybe Tabitha was lying about not remembering that she works here. Maybe she came to the store on purpose to check up on her. It wouldn’t be the first time that she did something like that. Whatever the reason, that wasn’t what Chris needed to be focusing on.
She had a curious girl to deal with by her side.
“Sorry about that…” Chris says and suddenly remembers what Josie said to Tabitha. “Also, did you just call me your girlfriend?”
“Well, duh. Isn’t that what we are?”
Josie bites her lips in a playful smile, but Chris can feel the insecurity behind her words.
“Is that what you want?” she asks.
“It is.”
“Good, because I’m about to make out with you behind the horror bookshelves.”
“Oh, living dangerously! I love it,” Josie says with a laugh.
Chris takes her by the hand and then they are racing to the back of the store, making sure no one sees them. When they reach the last shelf, Josie pushes her against the books.
She really hopes Susan wasn’t lying when she said they didn’t have the security cameras on.
“Make sure no one catches us,” she whispers.
Josie nods and starts tracing a line from her jaw to her neck with her lips, latching her teeth onto the sensitive skin. With a moan, Chris raises her chin slightly, opening more space for Josie to kiss and nibble along her jaw line.
That’s definitely going to leave a mark.
“Oh, shit. Lily is coming,” Josie says after a moment and takes a few steps back.
Chris feels lightheaded and dizzy, trying to keep her desire in check after all the teasing. The make out time was too short for her. She tidies her hair as best as she can and then they watch as Lily marches through the store looking for them.
“What are you guys doing here?” she asks and then shakes her head. “I need help. Susan is here.”
That’s enough to clear Chris’s head.
The three of them hurry from the back of the store and find their manager organizing a pile of books on the international editions display table.
“Susan! It’s your day off! You shouldn’t be here,” Lily exclaims in a low tone, trying not to call the attention of the only customer still browsing around the store.
Susan jumps and blushes when she sees all of them are watching her. She plays with her shirt for a moment and then she is back to moving books around on the table.
“I’m just… I just thought you’d need help with all the movement and everything,” she replies guiltily, trying to defend herself.
Chris sighs and takes the books away from her.
It’s been like this for a while.
Another important thing that she had learned from Ursula was that since her divorce, Susan has been spending way too much time at work. Her husband and the life they shared together was all that she had for so many years, and now she has trouble accepting that she could be doing anything else that doesn’t involve her marriage or her job. Adapting to single life again had been hard for her.
The bookstore is the only thing that is truly hers. So from time to time, the girls need to remind Susan that it’s good for her to take the occasional day off.
Chris wonders if she would have turned out like Susan if she hadn’t broken up with Tabitha.
“Go home, Susan,” she says. “We are fine. Honestly.”
“You’ll call me if you need any help, right?” Susan asks, adjusting her dark blonde hair behind her ears.
“Of course, we will,” Josie replies. “The store would be nothing without you. But you’ve also taught us how to run things on our own. By the way, did you check out that new movie I recommended to you?”
“I was going to watch it, but then…” Susan tries to say an excuse, but Josie is having none of it.
“Go home and watch it now.”
With wide eyes, Chris watches as Susan nods and says her goodbyes before leaving the store.
That was unexpected.
“Josie, you need to call her out more often. I have no idea how you just did that,” Lily says.
Jose shrugs with an innocent expression.
“I guess I just have a way with words.”
***
An hour later, Chris notices Josie is resting against a distant bookshelf, seemingly lost in thought. It’s rare to see her so quiet like that, and Chris wonders if something is wrong. Was it possible that it had something to do with Tabitha’s appearance at the store?
She walks over and squeezes Josie’s hand for just a second, trying to reassure her. A shy smile appears on the corner of Josie’s mouth and then she turns to face Chris.
“Are you okay?” Chris asks. “You’ve been a bit quiet there, and I didn’t want to bring it up to respect your space but… I just wanted to let you know that you can talk to me anytime.”
Josie sighs and hesitates for a second longer.
“My final ballet recital for the summer is next Friday,” she finally says.
What? How come she didn’t know that?
Chris was sure it was supposed to be at the end of next month.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I didn’t want to make myself even more nervous about it. Plus, I kind of haven’t told anyone that this is happening,” she explains. “So my parents aren’t even coming, and Jessie is out of town visiting them. I’m so scared that I’ll screw it up, and now no one will even see me dancing.”
Chris knows Josie had been dancing all of her life; so being this nervous about a performance wasn’t the whole reason for her behavior. This is also the first time that she is dancing as the principal ballerina.
She tries to think how she would feel if she had to sing and play in front of a crowd once more. Definitely nerve-wracking.
“You’re not going to screw up,” Chris reassures her.
She rests her hands on Josie’s waist to stop her fidgeting.
“I’ve seen you dancing. You are the most beautiful thing in the world when you dance; the movements you make are art. Pure art. You are going to rock everyone’s world next Friday,” Chris affirms.
Josie stays with a stubborn pout on her lips for a moment, but then she rolls her eyes and smiles again. The two laugh together, their hands finding each other once more.
“Will you come and watch?” Josie asks nervously.
She’s inviting Chris over her own family?
Chris’s heart skips a beat at the thought.
“I would be honored,” she answers.
There is this strong urge to kiss this girl, growing inside of her at every second. Being so close and unable to do anything about it feels like shit. She wants to embrace her and kiss her and be around her warmth as much as she can.
They’re so distracted that they don’t even notice the pink haired girl approaching them.
“I knew it!” Lily shouts.
Chris and Josie jump away in surprise. An intense blush appears on both of their faces as they move apart.
Well, so much for being discreet and taking it slow.
“I knew there had to be a reason why you two were being all mushy and distracted lately. Now I finally know why. So what is it? Friends with benefits? One night stand? Or something more serious?”
Josie sends Chris a warm look.
“It’s serious,” she answers.
Just then, Chris turns to Lily.
“You are not angry are you?” she asks worriedly.
Lily huffs, completely offended at the question. She puts her hands on her hips, balancing her bag on her left shoulder.
“Why would I be angry? You two are perfect together.”
The next second, she is hugging both girls tightly, with all the customers staring at the scene.
“Can you like… not tell Susan yet?” Chris whispers between her teeth.
“Yeah, of course. Don’t worry. I doubt Susan would mind, to be honest.” Lily let go of Josie and Chris and then points at them. “Just tell me I can trust you two to close up the store tonight and not make out here in the middle of work.”
“Oh, you can trust us,” Josie answers.
From where she is, Chris can see her crossing her fingers behind her back.
Chapter 11
She is going to be late.
She knew she was going to be late, but Chris still insisted on spending extra time on makeup and finding the perfect outfit that would declare I’m the prima ballerina’s girlfriend.
It’s finally the day of the ballet recital, and Josie had already sent her loads of messages before going backstage. Most of them were just flirty innuendos about how sexy tight leotards are or how she couldn’t wait for Chris to see her performing. Then she reminded her at least ten times that Jessie had found out she had hidden the whole ballet night from her, and now Chris also has the responsibility of sending her sister all the pictures and videos she could from the show.