”She has shifted now. She's not feral.” I insisted “Was she aggressive when you found her?” Jon thought for a moment.
“In retrospect, no, she wasn't. She made no move to attack and didn't even do much to defend herself. Her only crimes were trespassing and defying my order.”
“Then she's not feral. She would have tried to kill all of you if she was. I'm taking her to the pack hospital and we can get more answers when she wakes.” I looked Jon dead in the eye willing him to challenge my decision but he simply nodded, agreeing with my choice.
Chapter 9
I was surprised when I woke up. I hadn't expected to. I thought when I was attacked that I was done for. Even more, when I lost consciousness, I figured that was the end. I really thought I was dying. Guess I was wrong.
The first thing I became aware of was pain. I was hurting all over and part of me just wished I could lose consciousness again rather than feel this pain. I was surprised when I heard a low moan in the room and even more so when I realized that I had made the sound.
“Is she waking up?” I heard a deep voice ask.
“Possibly” a female voice responded.
I decided to take a few deep breaths and then open my eyes. As I inhaled deeply that sweet and smokey smell invaded my senses again and my eyes snapped open.
I immediately realized I was in a hospital bed and started to panic. Were they going to lock me up again? No. No. No. No. I started to grab at the monitors and IV wanting them out and wanting out of here. So many bad memories were clouding my mind and I was losing it.
”What is she doing?” I heard another deep voice say.
“She's terrified.” The other responded and I felt strong hands suddenly holding down my arms. Being pinned like this should have made me panic more but I felt strange tingles shooting up my arms and it both calmed and confused me.
“It's okay. You're okay.” Said one of the voices. I looked up and my eyes locked on his. He had beautiful light gray/blue eyes and I felt myself growing lost in them. He let go of my arms as his hand cupped my face and I felt the sparks again. I felt myself reach for his face. He had to be the most beautiful man I had ever seen. Could a man be called beautiful? Handsome didn't seem like a sufficient word. His skin was tanned from the sun and he had curly light brown hair. You could tell his hair had also been touched by the sun. His hair was longer on top and a curl hung down on his perfectly shaped forehead. He had an oval shaped face and a perfectly straight nose. His lips were full and I found myself wondering how they'd feel on mine. He was inching closer, clearly wondering the same thing. We were inches apart. I could almost taste his breath eagerly awaiting his kiss when the other man cleared his throat, waking us both from our trance.
”As much as I hate to interrupt the moment Gabe, we have matters to discuss.” The man said. Gabe. Beautiful man was Gabe, I mentally noted. My eyes shot over to the other man as Gabe stood up. I felt myself frown as he stopped touching me and could tell my wolf was also sad about it.
I looked the man over and realized it was the man from the woods. I had been right in my previous assessment that this man was handsome. He had jet black hair and a very defined jawline. Where Gabe's nose was straight, this man's was slightly crooked as if it had been broken a few times. He was tall and had straight black hair. I wasn't sure what color his eyes were but they seemed dark. Overall he had a very sharp look to him. Handsome but intimidating. I was grateful he was at least dressed this time and felt myself start to blush at the memory of him nude.
”Your matters will have to wait for a moment. Now that she's awake, I need to check her vitals.” Said the female voice I heard earlier.
My eyes shot over to my right and I saw a nurse that I hadn't noticed before. I could tell the man wasn't happy. I looked at Gabe and he nodded at the nurse.
“Come on Jon. We can wait outside. She isn't going anywhere.” Gabe said. Ok. Naked man was Jon. Got it. Jon looked at me and glared as he followed Gabe out of the room and I felt a shiver go down my spine. That man was dangerous. I could tell he was powerful and more so, he didn't like me.
“Don't worry about him.” The nurse said, obviously detecting my discomfort.
“He can seem cold at first but he really is a great Alpha. Our pack likes and respects him and the pups just love him.” She said with an obvious fondness in her voice. I nodded as she started to examine me, listening to my heart and looking at my various injuries.
She was a pretty woman. Probably mid thirties. She had auburn hair that was tied in a tight bun. She had a round face and blue/green eyes. Her skin was pale and peppered with freckles. I saw her badge on her green scrubs that read Suzanne.
As she finished her exam, she looked at me and smiled. She had a beautiful smile. One that seemed genuine and kind and I found myself immediately liking her.
“You're healing well.” She said. “Thankfully our kind heal quickly. You should be right as rain within the week.” She said smiling triumphantly. I smiled back.
“What's your name, hun?” She asked.
“Carrie” I croaked, surprised by the raspy sound of my voice and suddenly realizing how thirsty I was. Suzanne offered me a cup of water and I greedily gulped it down.
“My name is Suzie. Let me know if you need anything, ok?” She said and I nodded in response. Suzie started to leave the room.
“Suzie.” I said. She stopped as she turned her head. “Thank you.” I finished and she smiled sweetly as she left the room.
“Be easy on her.” I heard her say in the hallway. “Don't upset my patient.” I heard one of the guys grumble a response and then they both came back into the room.
Gabe came and stood by my side, taking my hand in his and I smiled up to him. Jon stood at the end of the bed and crossed his arms. His eyes locked onto mine and I felt myself growing uncomfortable again.
“Who are you? And why were you in my territory, Rogue?” He demanded.
Chapter 10
“I'll ask again, who are you and why are you in my territory!?” He repeated clearly annoyed by my lack of an answer. I looked at Gabe and then back at Jon.
“My name is Carrie. I don't know what a rogue is and I didn't know this was your territory. I was just running and I followed a...a...a smell.” I said, blushing at the last part since I now knew it was the smell of Gabe I had been seeking. I looked up and saw confused looks on both of their faces.
“What do you mean you don't know what a rogue is?” Jon said with a suspicious look on his face.
“I mean what I said. I don't know what that is.” Gabe looked at me clearly confused.
“Carrie, I'm Gabriel by the way, what pack were you previously in? Were you exiled?” He asked, looking concerned.
“Pack? There are packs? I've never been in a pack. I didn't even know I was a werewolf, or whatever, until recently.” Jon scoffed at my response. “Your parents didn't explain it? You never saw them shift? I find it very hard to believe that you could somehow not know what you are.”
“I was adopted by humans. I don't think they knew either.” I replied, annoyed that he was suggesting I was lying. This man was intolerable.
“What about when your wolf became present? You didn't know then? You didn't figure it out when your wolf started to talk to you or when you shifted? No offense but you're clearly older than 18.” He replied.
“Yes, I'm almost 21. Why does that matter?” I hissed, my annoyance growing.
Gabriel decided to speak. “Your wolf becomes present after your 18th birthday. Most wolves shift soon after. How did you not know until recently?” He asked softly. Geez, everything about this man appealed to me. He was so good looking. Throughout the entire conversation he had been holding my hand. It seemed a little weird. I didn't really know him and he didn't know me. But somehow his presence calmed me and the tingles when he touched me were amazing.
“I did start to hear the voice but I never shifted until recently.” I explained.
“So, you did h
ear your wolf?” Jon asked.
“Yes, but I didn't know it was my wolf then.” I said.
“What did you think it was? A fairy?” Jon asked sarcastically.
“No, you ass. I attacked a girl at school who had been bullying me and my friend. I have no memory of it. And when the doctors found out I was hearing a voice they diagnosed me as schizophrenic and locked me inside a mental institution. Are you happy now!?” I yelled. I was tired of being interrogated. I had been through so much and dammit none of this was my fault.
“I'm going to let this slip up slide because you're injured and upset and also don't understand our ways. But talk to me like that again and you'll regret it.” Jon growled at me.
I glared at him but said nothing.
“How did you get out of the institution?” Gabriel asked quietly. I could tell he seemed upset by my story but I wasn't sure what exactly about it upset him.
“I was going to get out soon anyway. But there was this nurse. It's a long story but he was a sicko and was hurting my friend and I threatened to tell. So he attacked me and tried to rape me.” I heard Gabriel let out a low growl. He looked livid. Was he mad at me!? I wasn't sure. I pulled my hand away and sat up further on the bed, moving away from him. He looked at me and his eyes were all black.
The shock and fear must have shown on my face because he quickly recovered. He closed his eyes for a moment and when he opened them they were back to their normal blue/gray.
“I'm sorry, Carrie. When you mentioned the nurse trying to....to…trying to attack you, it upset me. I don't like the idea of someone trying to hurt you and I also don't like the idea of another man touching you.” He explained.
“Why?” I asked. “You don't even know me.” I was so confused. Why did he care? Why did I feel so drawn to him. I needed answers.
“Because we're mates Carrie” he stated as if that meant something to me.
“Mates? Like soul mates? What do you mean?” I felt so ignorant. There were so many things I didn't know.
“It's like dealing with a fucking human.” Jon muttered scathingly. Gabriel seemed annoyed and shot him a look and Jon just shrugged and walked over to a chair and sat down.
“Do you need anything else Jon?” Gabriel inquired. “I think we've ascertained that she isn't a threat. Is there something else you need to know?” Jon looked over to me and eyed me coldly.
“No. I think it's clear she isn't a threat. She's barely a wolf” He sneered as he got up and left the room.
Chapter 11
After Jon left, Gabriel and I sat there in awkward silence. I felt embarrassed and annoyed by Jon's comment. Did Gabriel feel the same way? Was Jon right? I mean, I really knew next to nothing about being a wolf. I didn't even know how to shift. I hung my head feeling defeated.
Gabriel must have seen my mood shift. He was quiet for a moment and then I felt his hand cup my chin and raise my face to look at him.
“Pay no mind to Jon. He's not fond of outsiders but he'll come around. You may not know a lot about being a wolf but I can teach you.” He smiled reassuringly.
“Thank you. I really don't know much. I would like to learn.”
“So, back to our earlier conversation. How did you escape the institution and the nurse that attacked you.” He looked genuinely interested.
“When he was attacking me I started shaking. I felt like I lost control.” I started.
“Your wolf?” He responded. I nodded my head.
“It just took over. First it just made me stronger but then I felt it kind of break down a barrier and I shifted.” I explained.
“And this was your first time shifting?” He asked, clearly still trying to make sense of this.
“Yes.”
“So what happened after you shifted?”
“I… well, my wolf...we.” I was hesitant to say we had killed Paul. I didn't know the rules. What if this was breaking one? What if telling him got me into more trouble? I really wasn't sure I could trust this man yet.
“Your wolf killed him, right?” I looked at him surprised and reluctantly nodded. For some reason admitting it to someone else made my emotions spill over. I had killed someone. I was still very uncomfortable with this. I felt my eyes fill with tears and I looked away willing myself not to cry. Gabriel saw me growing emotional and without a word he wrapped his arms around me. The flood gates opened and I felt myself start to sob. All my pain just poured out. Being locked up, thinking I was crazy, being attacked, killing Paul, being abandoned by my parents, being attacked by the other wolves. I realized I had buried it all inside of me in an attempt to stay strong but Gabriel's small act of kindness and compassion broke down my wall and it all just came flowing out.
He held me until I stopped crying, which was a while. When I finally stopped I tried to pull away, feeling embarrassed. I must look hideous I thought as I tried to wipe the tears from my face. I looked at Gabriel and saw nothing but concern. Why was he being so nice to me? Was it the mate thing? What did that mean? I still wasn't sure.
He smiled at me again and took my hands in his. “Don't feel bad. I'm glad you killed him. If you hadn't, I would hunt the fucker down and kill him myself.”
“I still don't understand why you're being so kind to me. Or why you care so much.” I replied.
“You are my mate.” He stated simply.
“Yes, you said that. I still don't completely understand what that means.”
“ It means a lot actually. Do you feel a pull towards me? Do you feel the sparks as we touch?” He asked. I nodded.
“When you find your mate, everything about them calls to you. Their smell, their touch. Everything. Our kind believe our mate bond is sacred. It's like finding our other half. It's the one you should be able to be one with. The wolf you can trust with everything. We would kill to protect our mates. We would die to save them. Losing your mate can kill a wolf. It is like a soul mate but it's so much more than that.” He explained and I looked at him wide eyed. I don't think anyone had ever cared for me like that. I wasn't sure I was even worthy of that kind of adoration. And worst of all, I wasn't sure I could reciprocate those kind of intense feelings.
I pulled away again feeling confused. I was drawn to Gabriel, there was no denying that. But I just wasn't sure about this mate thing. I wasn't sure about anything.
“I'm really tired.” I told him. I needed some time alone to process all this. He looked at me and I could see concern and a little hurt in his eyes. I felt really bad about that but I still needed to be alone. I needed to think. I needed to rest. I needed to heal.
Gabriel nodded. “Of course. I will let you get some rest. I will be back in a little while. If you need me just tell the nurse, Suzie, and she will contact me. Ok?”
“Ok.” I replied. And I tried to smile reassuringly. Gabriel leaned in and kissed my cheek and I blushed. He was too good for me.
Chapter 12
The rest of the night was pretty uneventful. Gabriel must have understood my need for space because he didn't return. Suzie checked on me a few times. She checked my vitals again, gave me some mild pain medication and brought me dinner. She was sweet and polite but she seemed busy and didn't chat much.
Mentally, I wasn't really doing so well. I felt depressed. Maybe it was just emotional fall out from all my feelings boiling over earlier. Maybe it was Jon's comment that got under my skin. I wasn't really sure. I just felt sad. I felt like there was just no place for me. No one wanted me. My adoptive parents thought I was crazy. My biological parents obviously didn't want me or I wouldn't have been up for adoption. And I wasn't enough of a wolf to be accepted here. I just felt so lost and alone.
Gabriel seemed to be the one exception to all this. He said he was my mate and that seemed to be important. But what if I couldn't live up to his expectations? What if I failed him too? Would being his mate matter if I could never be what he and his pack wanted? I didn't think so.
The more I thought about all of this, the worse I felt. Part of m
e really wanted Gabriel to come back. I knew on some level that having him here would probably make me feel better but I refused to ask for him. I felt like I would let him down eventually. I would never be good enough. It was better if I didn't let him get attached. It was better if I didn't get attached.
I fell asleep late and I didn't sleep well. I tossed and turned having nightmares all night. When I woke in the morning, I didn't feel any better. I may have actually felt worse. I couldn't remember my dreams but I knew whatever I had dreamt had been upsetting. I was crabby and tired.
I opened my eyes and saw Gabriel sleeping in a chair. Part of me felt touched that he had come back and slept here. It was sweet of him to care but my thoughts from last night quickly invaded and I felt annoyed by his presence. I needed to stop this now. This wasn't going to work out. It would end badly. I was doing us both a favor.
He opened his eyes and smiled. I awkwardly looked away.
“How are you feeling?” He asked.
“I'm ok. Pain is better today.” I replied still not making eye contact with him.
“That's good.” He said. Awkward silence fell.
“I think Suzie said you could go home today?” He said brightly trying to fill the silence.
“Home? Where is that? I don't have a home.” I hadn't had a home in years. Not that I wanted to stay in the hospital but I wasn't sure where I would go when I left.
“You're coming home with me, of course.” He responded. I looked at him like he was crazy.
“I don't think that's a good idea. I don't even know you. You don't know me. I can't just move in with you.” He looked hurt as I finished and I almost regretted saying it.
“You're my mate Carrie. I want to get to know you. You'll have your own room and everything. There's no reason to worry.” I wanted to just say ok. Every cell in my body just wanted to be close to him, but I just couldn't do this.
“Look, I really appreciate the offer, I do. But I think it's just best if I move on. I really don't feel welcome here. I've already been attacked. Jon is in charge and he clearly doesn't like me. I just really don't see this working out.” My heart broke as I said it. This is how things had to be though. It was a broken heart now or a broken heart later. Might as well get it over with.
The Journey To Become The Perfect Werewolf Page 4