That made it easier to be hurt. And while he was trying to stay distant from everyone, it didn’t feel great to be hated now that he was actually trying once in a while to do the right thing.
He’d been excused from the fights after Zinc and Cadmium had come back. Zinc had apologized and said he understood if Mercury needed the afternoon and evening away from the arena.
He wasn’t good company for anyone anyway.
At this moment, Cadmium and Cobalt were probably fighting, and Marina was probably getting impressed by two more handsome dragons that were probably better options than Mercury.
The knob of his bedframe shattered in his hand, and he winced. He hadn’t even realized he’d been resting his hand on it.
“Mercury, let me in. It’s Zinc.”
“Leave me alone,” Mercury said. “Isn’t it enough you tried to beat the hell out of me?”
The door opened anyway, and a chagrined-looking Zinc stood in the entrance. “I need to talk to you.”
“You know,” Mercury said, turning away from him, “I was holding back for you. I could play just as dirty, but I didn’t want to get killed for killing everyone’s favorite.” He narrowed his eyes on Zinc. “But you pull dirty shit like that on me again, and I won’t show any mercy.”
Zinc put up his hands as he sat on the edge of the bed. “I promise I won’t. I already withdrew from the tournament.” He clasped his arms in front of him on his lap. “There are some things I need to tell you. That I should have told you before.”
“Fine,” Mercury said. “Spit it out and then get out of here. I don’t have time for sentimental nonsense.”
“I’m dying,” Zinc said sharply. “I don’t have a lot of time.”
“My condolences,” Mercury said. For once, he wasn’t trying to be glib, but he didn’t really know what to say to such dark, shocking news.
Zinc shook his head. “Perhaps my parents should have left when yours did, but my family has never been brave like yours.” His dark-gray eyes bored into Mercury’s. “I know you don’t remember our childhood. You were very young. Or perhaps you hit your head when your ship crashed.”
“Oh, is that what happened? We crashed?” Mercury said caustically. “Because I just woke up in the middle of a flaming wreckage, with no parents and no idea who I was. How do I even know I had family go with me? How do I know you all didn’t just shuttle me off the planet because I was too poisonous?”
“Because I have more poison than you,” Zinc spat, looking frustrated. “You have close to the same amount, but even as a child, you had more control. Cadmium, well, he was a balancing aspect, able to suppress the poison in us.”
“Then why do you say I saved you?”
“You were good at reading me. Whenever you saw me having symptoms, you’d run for help. They’d bring Cadmium. One time, I nearly died. Would have if it weren’t for you telling me to hold on. That you loved me.”
Mercury grimaced. “The fuck?”
Zinc laughed. “We were four. I’m sure you heard it from your parents all the time. Besides, love is expressed pretty freely on our planet. It’s what protects us all from harm.”
“Cheesy as hell,” Mercury said.
“Maybe,” Zinc said. “Not that it matters now. Look, if Marina chooses you, I want you to help this planet. When I’m gone…”
“Shut up,” Mercury said. “She’s not going to choose me. She’s too smart for that.”
“She loves you. You must have seen it—”
“Shut up!” Mercury shouted a little louder than he even meant to. He didn’t want to hear the word love. He didn’t want to think about it. It was far, far too late for things like that.
It was better to believe love just didn’t exist than to think about the implications if it did.
Like that he was completely unlovable.
“So my parents were so stupid that they couldn’t even land on Earth without crashing?”
“No one knows what happened,” Zinc said. “We lost all contact. We didn’t even know if you’d made it or changed course. Not until that light beam sent the envoy to Earth. I was so glad to hear you were alive. When I heard what had happened to you there… my heart broke for you.”
“Ugh, if you don’t shut up, I’m going to think you want to mate me.”
“You are my friend,” Zinc said. “And whether you accept it or not, I have a deep love for you. But no, I don’t want to have sex with you. Marina is more my type.” Mercury let out a snarl, and Zinc laughed. “But she is yours. I know it and you know it.”
Mercury slumped back on the bed on his back, staring at the ceiling. “We both know she would be better off with Lead.”
“Lead will make some woman very happy, but I can’t imagine him with Marina,” Zinc said.
Mercury snorted, thinking it was easier than it should be to talk to Zinc. For some reason, he felt a lack of judgment, and it relaxed him somewhat. Just one person other than Marina who didn’t make him feel under attack.
“I don’t know what you went through on Earth to make you behave the way you did. But if you want to win Marina, you’re going to have to make good on it.”
Mercury sighed inwardly, knowing Zinc was too naive. There was no way to make up for what he’d done. No way to be with Marina long term.
“Well. Was that all you wanted to say?” Mercury asked coldly.
“No,” Zinc said. “As I said, I’m sorry for losing control today. It won’t happen again. And I thought I would make it up to you.”
“Oh, how?” Mercury said, sitting up.
Zinc held a small chain with a sparkling, flat metal chip at the end of it. “This.”
“Hm. Jewelry? Not my taste.”
“No,” Zinc said, laughing. “The key to my private gardens. You may take Marina there.” He set the key on the bed. “I think she’d like it.”
Mercury narrowed his eyes. “Once I’m outside, what makes you think I won’t make a break for it over the back wall?”
Zinc stood and stretched and then folded his arms. “I’ll just have to trust you.”
Mercury shrugged. “Fine.” It wasn’t like he had anywhere to go. Anywhere he went, his past would follow him. He would still be evil, the criminal, the one everyone knew was beyond saving.
“So you say the gardens are private? Nice?”
Zinc nodded. “And stop by the kitchen before you go, and I’ll make sure they have dinner ready.”
“Won’t the other dragons have a heart attack?” Mercury asked.
“I think at this point, many of them know on some level, though they won’t admit it. Except for Lead. He’s quite smitten.”
“Not the brightest,” Mercury said.
“Oh no, you’d be surprised. He’s smart, strong, reliable—”
“Then why don’t you marry him?”
Zinc laughed, a rich, booming sound that was a little too relaxed for a man who was apparently dying. “Nothing will ever be boring around you, Mercury. Have fun on your date.”
Before Mercury could open his mouth to say it wasn’t a date, Zinc was already waving at him and heading out the door, shutting it gently behind him.
A date, huh?
Well, since Mercury was probably doomed anyway, why not? In a day or two, Marina would choose a better man, but in the meantime, he would spend time with the woman who might have been his mate if he’d been a better dragon.
Chapter 13
Marina was just getting back to her room after the matches when she saw Mercury striding down the hall to meet her.
He looked handsome as always, wearing a black shirt with jeans similar to what they wore on Earth but made of a different fabric, and his face was more relaxed than usual as he reached her door.
Hands in pockets, he cocked a hip and looked at her. “How was the fight?”
“Cobalt and Chromium?” she asked. “It was fine. I mean, at least no one looked like they were in danger of killing anyone else. What happened with Zinc?”
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Mercury shook his head. “It doesn’t matter. The guy apologized. Besides, he withdrew from the tournament.”
She was shocked, and Mercury raised an eyebrow.
“Sorry, I didn’t know you hadn’t heard about it.”
“I guess it makes sense,” she said nervously. “I suppose I always knew he had mixed feelings about it.”
Mercury nodded, and long, awkward silence stretched between them. “Uh, actually, on that note, he also gave me something by way of apology.”
“Oh?” she asked. “What?” She was relieved for something to talk about, because after the night before, when he’d just curled up and then left silently in the morning, she wasn’t sure what was happening between them.
She didn’t know what to say.
“Key to the private gardens. So we can have some alone time.”
She flushed. “Oh.”
“What do you think?” Mercury asked, cocking his head, making his gray-silver hair flop to one side. His eyes were twinkling slightly. “Some time without those boorish dragons around?”
She laughed. “Like old times?”
He walked forward, offering his arm. “Except I’m not in jail.”
She took his hand, shocked by the gentlemanly gesture. “Chivalry? I guess Drakkaris looks good on you.” He flinched, and she immediately changed the topic. “As for you not being in jail, I vastly prefer it this way.”
“Are you sure?” Mercury asked. “Don’t want me in chains, princess?”
She wrinkled her nose as they continued down the hall. “I told you not to call me that.”
“And I told you I could call you whatever I want as long as I made you come. And I believe I made you—”
“Shh!” She whirled toward him, clapping a hand over his mouth, and he grinned against her fingers. His eyes were laughing. “People could hear.”
He had the audacity to lick her fingers, and she jumped back.
“Mercury!”
He put both hands up, not looking at all apologetic. “I don’t care who hears. It happens.”
“Wow, so us spending time alone together. What if the other dragons find out about it?”
“Not really their business,” Mercury said. “And I doubt they could second guess Zinc.” He stopped, putting both hands on his hips. “Besides, I guess it’s really up to you at the end of it. Do you want to spend time with me or not?”
She jerked her head in a nod, heart pounding at the thought of being alone with him, but not asleep this time.
“Then it’s settled,” Mercury said. “Besides, the dragons were being a little nicer to me today, after I didn’t beat Zinc’s head in.”
“I’m sure they appreciated it,” she said, stifling a grin.
“Well, I mean, I guess I should say their virulent hatred was a little less harsh,” Mercury said. “No one here wants to see me win.”
“Do you want to see you win?” Marina asked, wishing she hadn’t made herself so vulnerable as she waited for his answer.
He looked away. “I don’t know, princess. It’s complicated.”
Her heart seemed to drop into a black, dark hole when he said that. Had she been naive, skating along on the assumption that because he’d seemed to want to win, had fought really hard, that he was trying to impress her and thus would want to mate her?
“I told you I wouldn’t be on a leash,” he said. “I told you that, Marina.”
“So it’s Marina now, is it?”
They were nearly to the kitchen, and he stopped again, leaning on the wall next to the door. “What do you want from me this time? We both know I’m entirely unsuitable for you. We have chemistry. I get it. Maybe we even care for each other to a point. I helped you with your brother; you helped me here. I’ve stayed in the competition to make sure the men here aren’t turds and you have some good ones to choose from. And if you want, I’ll make sure you get back to your planet, no matter what it takes. But as for the rest—”
“Stop.” She didn’t want to hear it. Maybe she’d known on some level, due to his inability or unwillingness to tell her anything about himself, that he wasn’t planning for any kind of future.
But she just couldn’t imagine a world where she woke up and couldn’t go talk to him. Where he wasn’t a part of her life.
But she had the feeling if she pushed it, he’d only push back, which would hurt.
Why did her dragon want to mate with such a difficult person, and more importantly, why didn’t his dragon want her back?
“One second. I’ll go pick up our lunch,” he said.
“Okay,” she replied quietly, annoyed at how cowed she was acting. She was Marina, the water dragon. She didn’t need to be intimidated by anyone. If Mercury truly didn’t want her, then she would deal with the consequences. Surely, if his choice was not to be with her, then fate would find a way for something else to make her happy.
She hadn’t had any expectation when she’d come here, except to save him. She hadn’t expected to fall for him as fast as she had. Or to become aware that maybe she’d been in love with him for a long time. Since she’d seen him, in fact, and she told herself the only reason to visit a lonely, imprisoned dragon was because she was bored and felt sorry for him.
She should have known how she felt when she was willing to come to this planet for him just to fulfill a promise.
But it didn’t matter now. Her feelings had nothing to do with his obligations, and as long as they had the opportunity to spend time together, she was going to take advantage of it.
He came out of the kitchen, holding a basket woven from silver metal and white fiber, with silky fabric overlaying the top. Someone had obviously put a great deal of effort into making it look nice for them.
“Zinc,” Mercury said, noting her curious gaze.
“Oh,” she said. Of course. After all, they wouldn’t even be doing this if it weren’t for Zinc. Well, that wasn’t true. Mercury didn’t do anything if he didn’t want to.
They walked down a side hall and then in a direction she’d never gone before. “Where are we going?”
“Zinc’s private gardens,” Mercury said. “Supposed to be very romantic.”
She was waiting for him to roll his eyes, and when he didn’t, she tried not to let herself hope a little. “Interesting.”
He held out an arm again, and she took it, reveling in his touch, in how right it felt. Her body had been aching for him since that first night, and she wondered if she was ever going to have more of that again.
She’d been disappointed when he’d come to see her, only to want to sleep, but she’d also been flattered because it had seemed he needed her for some reason. That he was coming to her with trust, which was progress in and of itself.
Now it felt they were back to square one. But on the other hand, the garden was private…
Perhaps if she played her cards right, she could at least get to experience him once again.
“Do you know how hard it is not to read your mind right now? You’re looking downright sneaky,” Mercury said, a teasing note in his voice.
She giggled nervously. “Too bad it’s not allowed.”
“As if that ever stopped me from doing anything before,” he said. He turned to her as they reached a gate leading outside. “Why is it your boundaries are the only ones I respect?”
She wanted to answer him but knew it would only lead to an argument, so she just shrugged.
“Hm,” he said. He put the key in the latch, and the large, solid metal door swung open to reveal a total paradise behind it. “Wow.”
Marina walked out into the garden next to him, looking at the rainbow of blue, green, and purple plants all around. Like the rest of the planet, familiar but foreign at the same time.
She walked to a tall, wilting tree with hanging purple tendrils dotted with blue and green blossoms and touched a tiny flower with her finger. It curled up, protecting itself in a little ball and only opened again when she pulled back.
&
nbsp; Kind of reminded her of someone. With a snort, she glanced over at Mercury, who was standing open-mouthed, surveying the garden.
“I remember this,” he said, looking stunned. She’d never seen him like this. His arms were limp at his sides, and as he stared around him, turning in a slow circle, he looked as though he were in a daze.
He fell to his knees, and she rushed over to him, wrapping her arms around him instinctively. He pushed away, trying to be gentle, and she moved back.
“I’m sorry,” he said gruffly. “But I’m… not all here right now, and I don’t want to accidentally hurt you.”
There it was, another of those signs that he cared, making her want to hope for things she shouldn’t.
When he opened his eyes to look around him, his eyes were bright with tears. “How can I remember this place and nothing else?” he said, and his tone was empty. “This is as familiar as my own hand, and it’s almost as if I can hear voices. Yet it’s all so far away, trapped in pieces of my mind that I know are too broken to touch.” He dug into the blueish-gray grass beneath them. “How can this be home? My entire life is on Earth.”
She stayed kneeling beside him, giving him room but wanting him to know she was with him.
“We can have different homes at different times in our lives,” she said. “Like me. At one point, it was the ocean. Then it was Earth. Now, I suppose, it will be here.”
He looked at her sharply, and she saw he was coming back to himself again, regaining the lost color in his face. “Could you really be happy here? What about Earth?”
She shrugged. “I won’t have a choice if I choose one of the dragons here,” she said. “I knew what I was signing up for. Don’t worry about it.”
He scooted over to her, taking her arms in his hands. “How can I not worry about it when you’ve always been worrying about me? I do want you to be happy, Marina.”
She reached up to stroke his face softly, marveling at the beautiful plants all around them reaching up to twenty feet high in some directions. There was little light filtering through the canopy of branches, yet it was just enough to see clearly.
He looked so odd in this place full of color, with his silvery eyes and hair, his pale skin, and hard muscles in contrast with the lush, soft surroundings.
Aquamarine (Awakened Sea Dragons Book 3) Page 10