by Sybil Bartel
“What’s the secret?”
“This is only the third time I’ve woken up next to a woman.”
She blinked. “When was the first?”
“When I was twelve.”
Surprise showed on her face, then she seemed to remember what I’d told her about running away. She nodded and her voice went quieter. “The second?”
“Week before last. With you.”
“Oh.” Big blue eyes looked at me with wonder.
“Was last night the first time you came for a man?”
She swallowed and hot pink touched her cheeks. “Yes.”
All the blood rushed to my dick just thinking about her coming apart in my arms. “We’re not that different.”
“No.” She slowly shook her head.
I cupped her face and whispered. “I like that.”
“Me too.”
And I kissed her. Sweet, tender, like I never kissed a woman before. Sitting up, I pulled her into my lap and cradled her. “Spend the day with me?”
“Yes.”
I smiled. “You’re not very talkative this morning,” I teased. “Something on your mind?”
She blushed hard and I laughed. “That’s it Hummingbird, you keep thinking about last night.” I lifted her off me. “Go, shower, we have to be at the studio in an hour.” I got up and remembered my T-shirt was in a wet heap on the bathroom floor. Shit.
“The studio?”
I forgot she didn’t know about it. “You’ll see. C’mon, we gotta get going, I need to stop at home and get clothes.” I looked for my jeans on the floor but they weren’t there.
“Your clothes are on the chair.” She sat up and pulled the sheet around her.
I glanced at the chair and not only were my jeans there but so was my shirt. Dry. And folded. I picked it up and it smelled like Carly. I looked up at her. “You washed my clothes.” No one had ever washed my clothes.
“I woke up last night and...” she trailed off, looking away.
“You couldn’t sleep?” Last night I’d crawled into bed after my cold shower and pulled her into my arms. The next thing I knew it was morning. I’d never even felt her stir. “Why didn’t you wake me?”
She looked embarrassed. “I wanted to watch you sleep. You’re so peaceful when you sleep.”
God, I was head over heels in love with this girl and she had no idea. I hadn’t even had sex with her and I loved her. “Thank you for the clothes.” I leaned on the bed and kissed her cheek.
* * *
I called Gunnar while I waited for Hummingbird to shower. He picked up on the first ring.
“Hey, bro, how goes it?”
“Graham?” He sounded hesitant.
I was instantly on alert. “What’s wrong?”
“Oh. Nothing. It just didn’t sound like you.”
I chuckled. “Who else is gonna call you bro?”
“Good point.”
God, I loved this kid. He had wit. “I was thinking I’d come get you tomorrow.” I knew I had a shitload of work at the shop and I knew I’d said Gunnar should stay a few extra days but I missed him.
“Okay.”
I could almost see him shrug. “Is it? Or do you want to stay longer?” He was so afraid of rocking the boat, I wasn’t sure what he really wanted.
“Whatever you want.”
“It’s not up to me, that’s the point. I want to do what you’re comfortable with.”
“Oh.”
“So?”
Silence.
Christ. I couldn’t wait till he was a teenager. “Talk to me.”
“I don’t know. The pool’s fun. Jep’s okay.” He paused.
I heard the hesitation in his voice. “But?”
“You cook better.”
I laughed. “Yeah, okay, I’ll be there tomorrow afternoon.”
“Okay.”
I could tell he was smiling. “Unless you want me to come this afternoon?” It’d interfere with what I had planned with Hummingbird, but I’d make it work.
“It’s okay. I told Jep you weren’t coming today anyway.”
“All right, tomorrow then. Call or text me later, let me know how you’re doing.”
“Okay.”
“And Gunnar?”
“Yeah?”
“Carly is my girlfriend.”
“Cool.”
“Catch ya later, bro.”
“Okay.” Gunnar hung up.
I was lacing up my boots when he texted me.
Gunnar: I like Carly
Me: Me too. Okay if she’s around a little more?
Gunnar: Yeah
Me: How would you feel if she came with me tomorrow to pick you up?
Gunnar: Do I have to sit in back?
Me: Dude
Gunnar: Just kidding
Me: Good one
Gunnar: I don’t mind if she comes
Me: Great. Thanks. C u tomorrow
Gunnar: Ok
Since we didn’t have to run to my house for clothes, I had time to take Carly to the coffee shop before we went to the studio. Not gonna lie, it felt fucking fantastic walking into the place with her tucked under my arm. It garnered a few looks from the girls who worked there and I smirked. Carly was happy this morning and that was all that mattered to me. I loved how she leaned into me every chance she got.
Myles was less subtle when I walked into the studio holding Carly’s hand. He didn’t bother hiding the shock on his face.
“Carly!” He grinned and stood up.
“Hey, Myles, this place is amazing.”
“Seeing Graham hold a woman’s hand and look happy, that’s amazing.” He hugged her.
Carly laughed. “He’s not the only one.
When I saw his arms around her, I went caveman. “Maul your own damn woman, Christensen.”
Myles released her and slapped my shoulder. “I am so going to have fun with this.” He grinned.
“Fuck off.”
“Aaand he’s back. Thought I lost you there for a minute.”
“You done?” Bastard.
“For now.” He was still grinning. He winked at Carly. “So, wanna hear your man sing?”
“Oh, yeah.” She smiled brightly.
Myles spent the next half hour showing off. I had to admit, I liked how he’d mixed the sound. “Break” sounded better than it did live but after two run-throughs so Myles could point out the changes he wanted made, I was sick of my own voice.
“All right, you’ve had a captive audience for long enough, we’re out of here.” I stood and pulled Hummingbird to her feet. “I’ll work on this later. We’ve got plans.”
Myles raised his eyebrows and gave me a teasing smile. “Plans, huh?”
My woman under my arm, I didn’t feel like telling him to fuck off. We said our goodbyes and left.
I was holding the door of the Barracuda for Hummingbird when she turned and looked up at me. “I love hearing you sing.”
Damn. I felt like asking what else she loved but it was too early. Instead, I put my hand on the small of her back and pulled her against me. “Yeah?” I nuzzled her neck and whispered in her ear. “I love hearing you call my name right before you come apart in my arms.” I pressed my lips just below her ear.
She made a sexy little sound and I kissed her. In two seconds flat, she’d wrapped her arms around my neck, careful not to touch the stitches, and melted into me.
“Let’s take this somewhere more private,” I murmured.
She drew back and shook her head like she was trying to clear it. “Oh no, no way, we’re going to eat. I’m hungry.” She sank into the Barracuda.
I leaned in and placed an open mouth kiss on her neck. “Wanna know what I’m hungry for?”
Her head fell back and her eyes closed. “Okay,” her voice a breathy little whisper.
Jesus, I loved her response to me. I stroked my tongue across her bottom lip. “I’m hungry for this.” I trailed a finger down her neck and across her breast. “And this.”
I dragged my hand up between her thighs and just barely skimmed over her jeans. “And...” Then I pulled my hand away but I didn’t retreat.
I waited.
When she opened her eyes, I put my hand over her heart. “I want this.”
Her heart beating under my hand, she stared at me but she didn’t say anything.
I couldn’t read her expression and suddenly, I wasn’t sure what I was dealing with. “Am I scaring you?”
“A little.”
I squatted next to the open door. “Why?” I didn’t want any confusion between us.
“This is a lot. All at once. It’s—it’s just a lot.” She looked worried.
“And that bothers you?”
“No,” she hedged.
“You don’t want it?” It killed me to ask but I kept my face blank.
“I don’t understand it,” she blurted.
Ah. I dropped my head and ran my hand over it, checking my words before I said them. I knew what she was asking. I looked back at her anxious blue eyes. “You’re worried about my sudden change in heart.”
She nodded.
“It’s not sudden, Hummingbird. I meant everything I said last night. I fought my feelings for you because I never thought I wanted this. But the more time I spent with you, the more I wanted you. I didn’t think I could be what you needed. I wasn’t concerned that I couldn’t be faithful, I was concerned that I wouldn’t want to be. Do you understand the difference?”
“I think so.”
“Then Gunnar happened. There wasn’t any way in my mind to have both of you and I didn’t want to put that burden on you anyway. A kid is a lot of responsibility. He’s not a baby, but he’s still a kid, and when I first found him, I knew I was taking him. He’s had it worse than I ever did and I saw a second chance, for both of us, so I took him and she died two days later from cancer.”
“Then you pushed me out.”
I listened for resentment in her voice and I searched her eyes but this was Carly. She didn’t hold grudges. “I thought I was doing the right thing.”
“You were,” she said quietly.
I took her hand. “But I missed you.”
“What changed your mind?” Her voice small, she almost sounded like she didn’t want to hear the answer.
I was afraid to tell her but I didn’t want any lies between us. Everything I knew about this girl, I knew one thing mattered above all else. She needed trust. So I squeezed her hand and told her. “If this is going to work between us, we’re going to have to be honest with each other. I’ll never lie to you. But you’re going to have to give me the benefit of the doubt sometimes. I have a past. I’m not hiding it but I’m also not going to discuss it. Sometimes it’s going to come up and you’ll have to trust that I will choose you. I am choosing you. Do you understand what I’m saying?”
She looked wary but she nodded.
“The girl from Gainesville, Gemma?” I inhaled, bracing myself for the shit storm I was about to unfairly unleash. “She was backstage at the gig last night and she tried to kiss me.”
Carly instantly pulled her hand away and turned her body away from me. Her hands flew to her face but I grabbed them.
“I did not kiss her back, Hummingbird.” I pulled her so she was facing me but she wouldn’t look at me. “I did not kiss her. I wanted nothing to do with her. All I was thinking about all night was you and what happened in the shop and I was a mess.”
Injured blue eyes looked up at me and I felt fucking sick seeing the pain I’d put there.
“I did not kiss her but when she tried to kiss me, I realized something.”
Her lip trembled then she inhaled. “What?”
“That this could be happening to you, that Harlan or some other piece of shit could be kissing you, touching you. I fucking lost it. I got in my car and drove to your place.”
“You were jealous,” she whispered, looking relieved and almost happy.
Women. But yeah, I was jealous. “So fucking jealous I couldn’t breathe. So I came for you. I told myself if you wanted me, I’d figure out a way for it to work, for all three of us.”
“So I get two Allens for the price of one?” She grinned.
I couldn’t even be mad at the last name anymore. I had Hummingbird and she was giving me a shot.
“Yeah, both of our sorry asses.”
Chapter Forty-One
Flying
I had the best day of my life. We took the Ducati out, we ate, we laughed, and I touched her every chance I got. She didn’t flinch from me anymore. She smiled her smile for me and I was happy. More, the anger wasn’t fueling my every breath. When I was with Hummingbird, it just didn’t seem to matter.
Early evening, I dropped her at her place with a promise to pick her back up in an hour for dinner. I had a place in mind and it’d set the stage for what I wanted to do with her later. I needed an hour to shower, make reservations and call my dad.
I didn’t want to go to Miami blind tomorrow. Jep had had a few days with Gunnar and that kid would grow on anybody. I wanted to see where Jep’s head was at.
He picked up on the third ring, laughing. “My other son! How’s it going, Graham?”
Great. He was in full showboat mode. “Step out of the room, I want to talk to you.”
“Sure, sure,” he said happily. I heard a door close then, “What’s up?”
“I’m picking Gunnar up tomorrow,” I warned him, expecting a fight.
“So he said.”
That was it, no argument, no persuasion, nothing. “Are you going to be cool about it?”
Jep sighed. “I’m not going to lie and say I don’t want my son with me. But if you’re asking if I’m going to get crazy about it, the answer’s no.”
He never was a fighter. “I didn’t ask about crazy, I asked if you were going to be cool. Do I have to worry about crazy?” God knew, it ran in the family.
“Don’t be combative. I understand you found him. If it weren’t for you, I may have never known about him. I’m working with you on this. I’m not fighting you for him but I hope one day you will see it from my perspective. He is my son.”
“I’m doing what’s right for Gunnar.”
“I know and I appreciate that. I know you’re responsible but I have to ask if you know what you’re getting yourself into. He’s in bad shape. It may not come out right now, hell, it may not even come out next year, but there’ll be scars. Are you prepared to deal with that?”
I tried and failed to rein in my temper. “Are you seriously asking me about scars? The only difference between Gunnar and me is twelve years.”
“Look, will you just consider that one day he might want or need to come live with me?”
He was right and I knew it but I still had to count to ten. “Fine.”
“Thank you.”
“Don’t thank me. It’s about Gunnar and what he wants.”
Jep chuckled sadly. “Well, right now, I think he wants his brother.”
I got worried. “Should I come tonight?”
This time his laugh wasn’t sad. “You’re already a dad and you don’t even know it.”
Whatever. “Do I need to come get him now?”
“We’re good. Tomorrow’s fine.”
“All right, I’ll see you by midafternoon.”
“Sounds good. And Graham?”
“Yeah?”
“I’m proud of you, son.”
I muttered thanks and hung up.
I rushed through a shower and dressed in all black. Black button-up, black slacks, shoes instead of boots and I used cologne. I drove back to Hummingbird’s and got out to ring her bell. When she opened the door, time stopped. She was in a dress, a really short, really tight, long-sleeved black dress, unbelievably high heels—she was all legs. All legs. Speechless, heart hammering at my ribs, nothing in my world mattering but her, I stared.
She laughed softly. “Mission accomplished.” She twirled around. “You like?”
“You’r
e killing me,” I managed.
She grinned wider. “It’s the shoes.”
Yeah, no, not the shoes. I forced myself to look up from where her dress met her thighs. “Let’s go. I can’t wait to see what happens when you try to sit in that dress.” Christ, every asshole was going to stare at her tonight.
Her soft laughter was so sexy. “Oh, I’ll manage.”
And that was what I was worried about.
We got in the car and she threw another curveball at me.
“Can we go to Cork for a drink?”
Fuck. Cork? Damn it. The upscale wine bar was decent but that wasn’t the problem. I’d slept with the owner. “You want to?” I hedged.
She laughed brightly. “I know you don’t do the wine thing but my dad knows the owner, and the two of them keep trying to get me to switch jobs.” She shrugged. “I thought I’d go, have a drink, see what all the hype’s about.”
Cash knew Tabby? Fuck. Did I even want to go there? Tabby was ten years older than me, had she...? Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. “Yeah, I know Tabby. She’s been trying to get Myles and me to do an acoustic set there for a year.” It wasn’t a lie.
“Really?”
“Not happening.” The band was bigger than a two-hundred-dollar bullshit hippy acoustic set but I didn’t say that.
Hummingbird looked happy. “So can we go?”
Resigned to my own funeral, I sighed. “If you want.”
Cork was busy but we found seats at the bar. Carly ordered wine on the recommendation of the bartender and Tabby greeted us a few minutes later.
“Graham,” she purred. “It’s so good to see you.” She set a glass down in front of me with three fingers of amber liquid then kissed my cheek.
I didn’t take my arm off Carly’s shoulders, hoping Tabby would get a clue.
“I didn’t realize you and Carly knew each other.” She finally turned to acknowledge Hummingbird. “Good to see you. I hope you’re seriously considering my offer.”
Carly smiled back, no trace on her face of Tabby’s reaction to me. “Oh, I am.”
“I’m so glad.” Tabby nodded at me. “Maybe you can convince Graham he needs to play here one night.” She placed her hand on my shoulder.
I leaned away from her touch. Before I could tell her to fuck off, politely, Carly beat me to it.
“I think you’re a little too small for them to play here.” Carly smiled, megawatt.