David crinkled his brow. “Why wouldn’t I be?”
“Because all the rumors will start again,” she said. “And this time I’ll have to address them, one way or another.”
More breath clouded the air. “Well, we’re in public now. Might as well be in public where it’s warmer and there’s beer.” His smile was slight, but it was the first she’d seen from him in months, and it took all her strength not to wrap her arms around him, and—hold on. Be each other’s anchors in the rocky sea that was life.
But they also needed to be on the same page. She opened the door to the bar and gestured him in. That smile smoothed out when they found a booth toward the back. He peered up at the chalkboards with the list of draft beers, and that profile was everything. Hard angles, soft eyes. The well-kept beard and that smooth, golden skin.
Mish tore her gaze away to focus on the list of beers, too. “Got any recommendations?”
A little lift to his shoulder. “Depends on what you like. Lagers? Ales? Hops? Wheat? They’ve also got Belgians listed, though some of them are high-test.”
“Well, it’s not like I’m driving.” She didn’t even own a car, though she could afford one, even with the insurance.
“You are so in the driver’s seat right now,” David said.
She gave up on the board and stared at him. He’d turned, too, and the same tension as earlier was back. “I know.” All the decisions were hers to make. “But I need a good navigator. So you pick the beer.”
He closed his eyes, briefly, and she couldn’t read his expression at all. Pain? Hope? When their gazes met again, he nodded.
“I’d also like fries slathered in gravy.” This sort of thing required comfort food.
For a moment, David’s eyes danced. “I can do all that.” The server chose that moment to come over, and David ordered the fries, plus two glasses of some Belgian tripel that was on tap.
When the server left, David folded his hands on top of the table. “I’m a complete and utter fuckup,” he said. “You deserved a hell of a lot better than I gave you. I’m sorry.”
Mish let her breath out slowly. There was truth there, and she appreciated that. But also a lie. “Not a complete fuckup. You’re here, aren’t you?”
He twisted his face, and his gaze dropped to his hands. “Should have realized a hell of a lot sooner.”
There it was. “What did you realize? Will you tell me?”
Those deep brown eyes met hers, and even in the dim light of the bar, his apprehension was almost a second skin, tightening everything. He was shaking. “So many things. But mostly that you’re far more important than a job or my own damn pride.”
He flattened his hands onto the table. “I’ve been on my own for most of my life. Taken care of myself. But that doesn’t mean I can’t...let someone else call the shots. Especially if I love them.” He paused, and his gaze never left hers. “And I love you. I do. I gotta go with that, you know?”
Mish’s chest hurt and her head was a mess. But for once, her eyes didn’t betray her with tears, which was good, especially since their beers appeared, in chalices, no less. Fancy.
When Mish thanked the server, she caught a woman at the bar snapping a photo of her. The server, though, said, “Your fries’ll be coming soon,” before walking off.
David looked positively stricken, so Mish nudged at the coaster under his beer. “Have a drink.”
A weak smile, but David did as told, which was nice. She’d always liked that about him—he didn’t balk when she suggested something that was reasonable. When he put the glass down, he looked more steady.
The beer helped her as well. Loosened the knot in her chest and coated the sandpaper in her throat. “I didn’t want you to leave your job. You decided that was what I wanted all on your own.”
David’s lips twisted again, but he nodded. “I couldn’t see how anything between us would work if you were on tour and I was—I don’t know. On tour with someone else. Or working some corporate gig following bigwigs, or whatever I found.” He took another sip of beer. “How can we be together if we’re apart?”
It was a legitimate question, and one he’d raised before. “Other people manage it. Long distance for a time, and together when schedules mesh.” His expression was dubious, which she hated. “You know, when you pull that look—that one right there—you make me feel like I’m not worth the effort to even try.”
That made him sit back. “Oh.”
“Yeah, ‘oh.’” She shook her head. “I don’t want to change you or make you less than you are. I want to be with you.”
The fries finally came. Mish grabbed two and stuffed them into her mouth. It was angry eating, but she didn’t give a fuck. The fries and gravy were hot enough to burn, and as salty as her mood.
David peered into his beer. “I’m not good with long distance, but you’re right. I shouldn’t have discounted it. Should’ve tried.” He turned the glass, but didn’t drink. “The really fucked-up part was the answer was there. It’s always been there, but my damn pride kept me from considering it.”
“Keep going.” It came out harsh, but she didn’t regret that. Needed that. Hell, he did, too.
David’s shoulders dropped. “You said it. Ray said it. I could find a place with Twisted Wishes. Be a part of your life. All your lives.” He met her gaze again. “And I turned that down.”
“You turned me down.” The fries hadn’t taken the edge off her anger at all, and the verbal blow hit David hard. He flinched, but didn’t look away. His nod was a shaky mess.
Mish ate a fry, then another. Her lipstick had to be gone by now. To hell with everything. “Why?” It came out gritty and low.
“I didn’t want to get a job with the band because I was your boyfriend.” He worked his jaw, as if he were trying to decide if he should spit out his next words. “Didn’t want to be a glorified groupie.”
Part of her understood. Could even see his point. The other part wanted to toss a soggy, gravy-covered fry at his face.
Beer. Beer would help. She took a long drink, and it was cool and full of flavor and somehow soothing, even though the alcohol couldn’t have gotten into her blood that fast.
She sat back. David was a mess. Sure, he was holding it together, but the fissures were there, and his remorse and sadness shown through.
“See?” His voice cracked. “My damn fucking pride.” His turn to drink. He set the glass down carefully. “I’d ask for your forgiveness, but I don’t deserve it.”
“That’s not for you to decide.” Her fury was there, but it was abating. Slipping away into understanding. Frustration, too, because she felt a kinship with David’s brand of dense-headedness. She could be as set in her ways and opinions, too.
But the band and the fans challenged her to be better than she was.
“There’s a couple things you should know. First is that Ray would never hire anyone just because they’re dating a band member. Don’t you fucking sell yourself short like that. You’ve got skills. Ones we need. And I’ve got a pretty good idea where you’d fit in, ’cause the band talks about the future all the time. Second is that forgiveness isn’t something you deserve. It’s something you’re gifted.” She took a breath. “It’s a lot like love, you know?”
David gripped his beer chalice around the bowl so tight Mish feared he might crack it.
“Third is that there’s no way in hell I’m eating all these fries myself, so you better dig in.” She pushed the plate toward him.
After a moment, he let go of the glass and took a few fries. His hands trembled. “I should tell you something.”
“Yeah?” He had a weird inflection in his voice, but it didn’t sound like what he was gonna say would break her heart.
“I talked to Adrian.” He ate the fries and followed them with beer. “Don’t have any close friends. Not much family.” He
shifted on the seat. “I left everyone. That’s what he said.” Another pause. “Being alone didn’t bother me before, but I miss the band. And it’s killing me to be away from you.”
Another piece of understanding clicked. Yes, this was about them. But also affected everything.
“You don’t have to take me back,” David whispered.
“I know that.” She wanted him. Wanted him back where he fit with her, in their family. “I’m going to anyway.”
Those four words caused David to fumble with his beer. “Mish!” Her name came out high, but quiet. Like a prayer.
She pushed the plate of fries at him again. “Help me finish these fries, then come home with me.”
David stared at her. “Just like that?” Dazed didn’t even begin to describe his look.
She couldn’t help but smile at him. “Yeah, just like that. ’Cause I love your troublesome ass and want you back. Took you long enough to come around.”
He dug into the fries and his hands still shook. “I’m not always the best listener.”
“So I’ve noticed.” She stole a fry from the plate. “Let’s not do that again, huh? We got issues, we talk about them, okay?”
The tension that had been in David leaked out. “Shit, yeah. These past few months have been hell.” He shook his head as if to clear it. “Did we just get back together?”
“How about you pay, and I’ll show you?”
Didn’t have to ask him twice. David slipped out of the booth and headed to the bar. The fries were mostly gone. She downed the last of her beer and slid out of the booth. When David returned, she beckoned him with a finger, then did what she’d been wanting to do since she’d seen him standing there on the sidewalk—she pulled him into her arms and kissed his damn mouth. David gave a surprised grunt, but soon their tongues were tangling, his hands were on her hips and hers raked through his hair.
A flash went off, then another. Well, that would keep Adrian and Marcella busy. And happy.
Mish broke the kiss. “You think you can be a little less dense and a little more humble?”
He huffed a laugh. “Anything for you, princess.”
She let that one go. Because she’d be a princess and a queen tonight. She grabbed his hand and tugged him toward the door. “Let’s get out of here.”
They went out into the cold October day, leaving a wake of social media fodder behind them. They didn’t even make it back to her apartment before her phone rang. Adrian’s name flashed across the screen.
“I guess the photos have gotten out.” She took the call. “Hi, honey.”
“Thank fucking god,” Adrian said. “Ray’ll be pleased.”
Mish laughed loud, and it felt good, especially when David gave her hand a squeeze. “Yeah, I bet. And Zav will be smug like he planned it all along.”
“Eh, but also secretly relieved.”
So true. “What about your boy toy?”
“Dominic is already planning to accost you two for a double date sometime.”
“Oh, do we get to be voyeurs to your teasing Dom with food?”
There was a croak on the other end. “Am I that bad?”
“Honey, you’re that good.” She paused. “We can talk about all of this later, though.”
“Almost home, huh?”
She grinned at David. “Goodnight, Adrian. And thank you.”
“Your man was smart enough to reach out to me. He’s a keeper.”
“Yeah,” she said, “I know.”
“See ya, Mish.”
When she hung up, David gave her hand another squeeze, but he didn’t say a word. He still seemed blown away by their whole conversation.
They reached her apartment building, and Lorenzo greeted them both. She kept holding David’s hand until the doors of the elevator closed, at which point she shoved him up against the back of the car and took his mouth again. There was the moan that she so loved. The surprise and the surrender.
When she came up for air, his pupils were huge and his lips were plump. “It’s a little early to ask to spend the night, isn’t it?”
The elevator doors opened and she pulled him out into the hall. “Not in my book.” They tumbled into her apartment, and before David said another word, she had his coat on the floor and his shirt up and over his head. “You think you need to ask?”
They made it as far as the hall to her bedroom before she had him up against a wall again. The way he moved and squirmed when she did that was the best. She kissed her way up his neck and mouthed his beard.
“Gonna always ask.” He spoke between shudders as she ran her palm down his chest to the belt of his jeans. “Never gonna take you—or this—for granted.”
“Good.” She silenced him with a kiss and undid his belt and jeans. “Can I jerk you off? Right here, like this?”
“Oh god, yes.” He met her gaze. “Anything you want. Any time.” He quirked a smile. “As long as it’s not gonna get us arrested, you know?”
The next kiss she gave him was softer, more gentle. She slipped her hand into his pants and underwear, past the packer, and found his dick. The moan he made was absolutely the best thing she’d heard in ages.
She kept his mouth occupied while she stroked him off, enjoying the grip of his hands on her waist, then arms, then tangled tightly into her hair as she took him higher and higher. He thrust and moaned and practically climbed her body until he came, his groans deep and glorious.
He was beautiful like that, half-naked, drenched in sweat. His eyes were hooded and his smile was exactly what she missed so much.
“Fuck, baby.” He blinked his eyes open. “And me without my bag of dicks.” The smile gave way to a little sexy grin.
“I’m sure you can figure out another way to get me off.” Mish kissed the end of his nose.
“Dozens of ways.” The happiness dimmed for a second. “Missed you so much. Not just this. Everything.”
She kissed his forehead this time, tasting salt there. “Shh. Take me to bed and show me.” He’d been in enough pain—they both had during their lives.
When she gave him room, he took her hand and led her to her bedroom. They got halfway to the bed when he stopped in his tracks. “You tucked Marly in.”
“Every day.” Those treacherous tears were in her eyes. “He kept me safe every night, too.”
He rotated, and there was such agony in his expression. “Mish.”
“I love you.” She pushed a strand of hair away from his forehead. “Didn’t like what you did. But I never stopped loving you.” She paused. “And Marly reminded me every night that you loved me, too, even though you had your head up your ass.”
David’s laugh at that was part humor, part pain. “Yeah. I did. Getting better, I hope.”
“Yeah, you are. And you’d be even better in bed.”
This time his laughter was full of joy. He took her hand and drew her the rest of the way to the bed. Marly was set aside on the nightstand, and David proceeded to show Mish exactly how much he’d missed her.
Later, when they’d spent themselves too many times to count, she spoke against his warm neck. “We’re gonna make it, you and me.”
He stroked her back. “Yeah. Whatever comes, we can make it work.”
She truly believed that now. “Consort to a rock queen.”
“Best job in the world,” David murmured, and kissed her cheek.
Yeah. Everything was gonna be okay.
Chapter Twenty-Five
David didn’t need to walk venues anymore—the security team he’d put together for Twisted Wishes did all of that work. He was a manager now, basically. Sure, he could chase after problems and add muscle if needed. It hadn’t been.
But every concert, he still did a circuit of the entire place. The backstage area. The dressing and greenrooms. Loading dock. Helped free
his mind. Relax him. Plus, it kept his team sharp when they saw him on the prowl.
Security hadn’t been an issue at all this tour. Mish’s stalker was behind bars, and no new obsessive fan had taken his place, thank god. In fact, aside from stage jumpers and some line crashers, they hadn’t had any issues.
If anything, much of his time this tour—aside from coordinating and managing the security team—had been occupied with hunting down Danny, the bass player Mish’s mother had dated all those years ago. Wasn’t an easy task, given they had very little intel on the man, scraped out of Mish’s memories. She’d even dug back into some personal items and found a single, slightly blurry photo with Danny M. and a phone number scrawled on the back.
Mish had shaken her head when she’d handed it over. “I wish I remembered his last name. I think it was something Italian, but that’s not really helpful.”
David had kissed her cheek. “It’s more than I had before. The phone number might help.”
He was still chasing down those leads and turning over all the information in his head. Walking helped that, too. He headed out into the venue, a modern concert hall built specifically for rock shows. Much smaller than the arenas they’d played during the summer—but these shows were a little different. Longer sets. More intimate venues.
David strode down the aisles until a familiar voice stopped him in his tracks. “Mr. Altet!”
He turned on his heels. “Ms. Heydel.” He greeted her with a grin. She was as familiar in some ways as his walks through the venues. “And how are you this fine day?”
She snorted. “You’re full of charm, David. Wish you were full of an interview, though.” Always hopeful, always that sharp edge. He’d gotten used to it.
They were friendly adversaries now—or maybe strange friends. He hadn’t figured that out yet. “You know I don’t give interviews.”
“But as Mish’s fiancé...”
Oh man, she really was digging. “I wasn’t aware Mish and I were engaged.” They’d joked about getting hitched sometime after Adrian and Dom finally married, but that was it. Both he and Mish were just happy to be dating at this point.
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