“I don’t.”
“Don’t what?”
“Like it.”
“And why is that?”
“I’m not that kind of person, Dean,” she said, not unkindly. “I don’t want kids. Yes, I know I was upset about my sister getting married, but that didn’t mean I wanted to get knocked up.”
“It’s not like I was looking for that either,” I responded.
What a mess this was.
“Yes, but here we are. I couldn’t get an abortion. I thought about it, but I just couldn’t go through it. That’s my baby, you know.”
“It’s my baby too,” I said, softly as my eyes traveled down to her still flat stomach. I knew that it would start to grow, and she would start to show soon, and even though this was still new to me, I knew one thing for sure.
I wanted to be around, for all of it.
I just had to convince her to let me.
No small feat judging by what was happening so far. I’m pretty sure they had an easier time convincing King Kong to come down, and that didn’t turn out so well either.
“You don’t understand. I’m not that type of person. The one who wants kids and wants to settle down, get married and all that.”
“You’re telling me you don’t want the white picket fence?” I asked, just to be sure.
“Exactly, I don’t. For all I know, you do.”
“Well, you can’t know that because you don’t know me,” I reminded her. “Kaitlyn, what are we doing here? Let’s just go somewhere to talk.”
I held out my hand, and she stared at it as if I’d offered her drugs in the middle of the street. Her eyes bulged, and I could see the sweat forming on her forehead.
“No,” she said, ashen as her lower lip quivered. She swallowed then started talking again. “I can’t. I’m not that type of person, and I won’t be someone I’m not.”
“I’m just asking you to get a cup of coffee,” I said, gently. “Not proposing.”
“Yes, I know.” She laughed, weakly. “It’s not just coffee though. It’s a talk. A serious one. About the future. Our future, and the future of our unborn child. God, it sounds weird to say that out loud.”
“Yes,” I agreed. “It does, but you’re not in this alone, Kait. I’m here for you, whatever you need.”
“See, that’s the problem,” she reiterated. “It can’t be like that.”
My eyebrows knitted together in confusion.
Was she drunk again?
“What are you talking about? Kaitlyn, if you didn’t care, even just a tiny bit then why did you go to all those lengths to find me? You practically stalked Charity and spilled the beans. After that, you just wouldn’t talk to me. So, my question is why? Why go through all that trouble?”
“Because you deserved to know. It was the right thing to do. It didn’t mean I liked doing it.”
“What does that even mean?”
“It means I left my phone number yes, but not so you could call me. I left it because I felt guilty because I realize it’s your baby too, but beyond that we can’t get involved.”
Dazed and confused, I looked at her. “Why not?”
It wasn’t that I wanted to get involved with her, or maybe I did, I had no idea.
“Because you’re a goody two shoes, and I can’t be with someone like that,” she said, her tone ringing with finality. “I’m sorry, but I just can’t. I will not be tied down to a man.”
“But I—” I protested.
She held up her finger to my lips. “Don’t.”
She gave me one last look over her shoulder, and I watched as she drove away, leaving me behind in her rearview mirror.
5
Kaitlyn
In all my life, I had never met anyone as infuriating as Dean Bennett.
And I’d dated plenty of guys. Not that I was trying to brag or anything, but I had enough experience to know that this wasn’t normal.
It wasn’t exactly a bad thing.
It was just how guys were wired.
We tended to care more, this was, unfortunately, a biological fact while guys tended to be a bit more logical. Also, we were more responsible, or at least most us were. It was just the way things were.
I thought about how it would be if the roles were reversed, but there was no point in dwelling on that. It wouldn’t change a thing. Not now at least.
So why was Dean going around trying to act like a decent guy?
To be fair, it didn’t seem like an act, but I didn’t know.
I couldn’t claim that I had experience with men like Dean. The decent kind. The ones who actually gave a shit.
Come to think of it, it wasn’t very healthy, but I couldn’t change my past, and I couldn’t date any other kind of guys. I’d done it once, and I wasn’t going down that road again.
Tom was a nice enough guy when it came down to it, but he wanted things I just couldn’t picture having. Like settling down and having a family. Getting the big house and maybe even a dog.
It was so generic; and mundane.
Beyond that, it just wasn’t what I wanted. Once I realized we weren’t on the same page, I had to end it. I hated having to break his heart like that. Most people thought it was callous and senseless of me.
It would’ve been worse if I had waited for the day when I could already see the stars in his eyes. At least this way, it was a clean break, and I didn’t have to feel guilty or say yes because I know he wanted me to. He never actually proposed, to be fair, but I had the feeling he was heading there.
And I would’ve been one of those women who drank themselves silly and were deeply unhappy in their marriage, and he would’ve cheated on me.
That is not the kind of marriage I would’ve wanted for myself.
Not that I wanted it all.
I eased up on the speed when I realized that I was gripping the steering wheel and hitting the gas a little too hard. I forced myself to unclench and take a deep breath once I realized how tense I was.
It was running into Dean that threw me for a loop. I wasn’t expecting him to be there. At my sister’s wedding of all places.
Then again, what did I expect?
He seemed like the type of guy who would come all the way out here just to talk to me. In the back of my mind, even though I was completely wasted, I knew it. It was in the way he looked at me, and the way he touched me.
I just managed to convince myself that it wouldn’t matter.
Well, obviously it did.
And I would have to deal with the repercussions of that night for the rest of my life, but he didn’t have to.
What the hell kind of man didn’t want to be absolved from parental responsibilities? It was practically a golden ticket. A get-out-of-jail-free card, and he was passing.
For the life of me, I couldn’t figure out why.
Wasn’t it every man’s dream to have that opportunity? To just not take responsibility for his kids? God knows I’d seen it enough times to know there was a sliver of truth in there somewhere.
Dean should’ve been leaping for joy. He owed me nothing. Zilch. Nada.
Yet he was acting like I’d asked him for child support with how clingy he was being. I didn’t want anything from him. I had enough money from my job, and a big enough place to raise a baby.
I also had a ton of family members who would be more than happy to help. They were always bugging me about starting a family. Well, now I finally was.
Granted, it wasn’t what they had in mind, but it was what they were getting regardless.
With all that available, what could I possibly need him for? He wasn’t going to fulfill any financial needs nor any emotional ones as far as I was concerned.
I just needed to get that through his head. If only I didn’t have that pang of consciousness hit me when it did. I was so racked with guilt that I decided to hunt Charity down and tell her to make sure Dean knew.
I should not have done that.
Then I wouldn’t be in this m
ess.
I swerved to the right, the car screeched as I nearly missed my exit, and the cars behind me all honked in protest. I rolled down the window and stuck my head out to apologize although I was sure nobody heard me.
I sighed as I ducked my head back in and tried to focus on the road ahead. At the rate I was going, I might just get into an accident if I wasn’t careful, and I didn’t want that. I ran my hands through my hair in frustration causing it to stick out in odd directions.
What was I going to do?
I needed advice, but the problem was, I wasn’t sure who to turn to at this point. Most of the people I knew were married and would probably gush over my unborn baby or whatever, and I didn’t want the feel the good, gooey stuff right now.
I wanted hardcore advice about the baby daddy.
Not instructions on how to change a wet diaper.
So, calling one of my girlfriends was definitely out of the question. An unbiased third party. That’s what I desperately needed.
I stopped the car in front of the rental company and parallel parked into an empty parking spot. Once the car was safely in its space, I swung the car door open and slipped on a sweater. I didn’t have a pair of comfy shoes, so I had to slip the heels back on. I swung my backpack over my shoulder and held up the keys so the car would beep shut.
I dropped off the keys at the rental company and straightened my back as I walked out of there. I was not going to look back; not literally or metaphorically.
Dean was not in the picture, and that was that.
The seat next to me on the plane was empty, so I lifted my legs up and let out a deep sigh as I stretched them out. I began to massage my sore calves as I thanked God that this was a short flight. I’d be back home in an hour.
I lay my head against the cool window, allowing the soft purr of the engine to lull me to sleep, and help me forget about everything at least momentarily. It worked.
Before I knew it, the pilot’s voice was droning on as were descending, and that we were a few minutes away from approaching our destination. I stretched across my seat, bringing my hands up above my head to work out the kinks in my muscles.
What I could really use right now was a long, hot bath. That, and to switch off my phone. Thankfully, I wasn’t allowed to have it on during the flight, but I was sure of what awaited me.
A million and one angry messages from my family members who would no doubt chew me up and spit me out for walking out on my sister’s wedding. There might also be a message in there from Dean who would probably plead with me to just hear him out.
Well, I wasn’t going to acknowledge either of those parties.
I didn’t owe Dean anything other than the truth, and now that I’d given him that, I didn’t have to have any further dealings with him. He needed to understand that, and the sooner, the better.
Really, I was doing him a favor. He just couldn’t see that yet.
I was out of my seat the second the plane touched down, eager to get out of this enclosed space and into the open air. I didn’t have any luggage on me save for my backpack, so I just swung that over my shoulder, breezed through airport security and was in a cab on my way home within 30 minutes.
I paid the driver and got out at my apartment, which suddenly didn’t seem as welcoming as I remembered. I had a lump in my throat as I stood there gazing up at it, trying to envision raising a child in there.
For all my fake bravado, I still had no idea how I was going to do that. Yet, I was determined to try. With that resolve in my mind, I hoisted the bag higher up and took the elevator up.
I greeted my cat as soon as he came to the door. He began to purr and meow as he rubbed himself against my legs. I scratched the back of his ears, which he loved as I absentmindedly dropped my bag to the floor.
I kicked off my shoes and sighed as my feet sank into the plush carpet, and I wriggled my toes. A few seconds later, the ringer on my phone started going crazy as my phone was flooded with messages.
As predicted, most of them were from my family and one of them was from Dean. I debated scrolling through them quickly just to get it over with but decided against it. That was drama better saved for later.
I reached behind my back, unzipped the dress and peeled it off my sticky body. I tossed it on the couch as I walked around the apartment in my bra and underwear. My cat began to meow in earnest as he headed towards his food bowl, and I reached on my tiptoes to get his food.
Once I made sure he was eating, I headed towards my bedroom where I turned the knob and waited for the warm water to fill the bath. I sprinkled some herbal salts and massaged the soles of my feet as I waited for the bathtub to fill.
As I slipped off my bra and underwear, I looked over my shoulder at my phone which hadn’t stopped ringing, and I paused. Finally, I switched the ringer off and tossed it on the bed.
I strolled into the bathroom and dipped my toes into the water, testing how warm it was. My body immediately shivered in anticipation as I slowly lowered myself into the tub and let out a deep sigh.
I could already feel some of the tension beginning to slip away as I placed my hands on either side of me and wound my hair up into a bun. It was one of those days that just seemed never ending.
I knew I owed my sister an apology for the way I ran out. It wasn’t her fault I was dealing with a personal crisis, and it was still her wedding. Sure, I’d been there for the actual ceremony, but it would take a hell of an apology to make up for taking off like that.
As for Dean, well, even if I was feeling better about him, it didn’t change what we were, or where we stood.
One night of mind blowing sex couldn’t erase facts.
My entire body tingled as I remembered how his smooth hands felt sliding across my bare skin, and how I couldn’t get enough of his lips. If memory served, he was a damn good kisser, and he knew just what do in bed. The warm water began to work its magic as I felt my eyelids grow heavy, and sleep began to wind its way through my bones.
I touched my tingly lips and sighed deeply.
“Is there anything I can say to convince you otherwise?” I whispered as I leaned in and began to nibble on his earlobe.
Dean made a low noise in the back of his throat as his grip on my hips tightened. “I don’t….”
He trailed off when I snaked my hand under his shirt, splaying my fingers across his smooth skin. I threw one leg over him, and he ran his fingers across the leg hesitantly. I shifted, so that my other leg was over him as well, and I was straddling him.
“You were saying?” I whispered as I leaned in, intending to remove his shirt, but instead, I bumped my forehead against his.
Tears immediately sprang to my eyes, and he cursed as we both rubbed our sore foreheads simultaneously.
“I’m sorry.” he chuckled. “I think we both went it at the same time.”
“It’s okay,” I assured him as I ran my hands across my forehead. “It happens. Now, where were we?”
Without much ceremony, I yanked his shirt off him, popping a few buttons in the process that went clattering across the room. When I heard the sound of a resounding rip, I tossed it to the side of the room.
“Oops.” I shrugged as I began to my run my hands freely across his smooth and taut skin. He had a sprinkle of chest hair, but beyond that, he was smooth and firm beneath my fingertips.
His hands, which were idle until this point, began to move across my lower back, up across my spine and to my shoulders where they kneaded softly. They traveled back down after a while and cupped my ass firmly.
I leaned forward, bringing my lips within inches of his before I stopped. I could sense his impatience as he held himself still, wondering what was happening.
“What were you saying earlier?” I teased as I ran my hands across his forearms, delighting when goosebumps broke out across his flesh. I let my eyes travel up to his face, watching his reaction carefully as I gave him a sexy grin.
“What?” He blinked, slowly. “I said some
thing?”
“About this not being a good idea,” I reminded him, as I wriggled my hips suggestively.
His eyes widened as he shook his head empathically. “Me? What the hell do I know?”
“Oh, it seems like you know plenty,” I purred as I placed a firm kiss on his neck, biting the sensitive flesh here.
“No, not really,” he said, weakly as I felt his growing erection press into my inner thighs. I pressed myself firmly against him, feeling my breasts strain against the fabric of my dress.
I leaned back, keeping my legs firmly on either side of the couch and lowered my lashes at him. I opened my mouth, but unfortunately, I misjudged the balance, and I ended up falling backwards. Before Dean could reach out and steady me, I landed with an ‘ompf’ on the floor.
Dean gazed down at me in horror as he scrambled up and crouched down before me. I rubbed my sore ass at this point and gave it a dirty look as if it was the reason we were in this predicament.
“Are you okay?” His eyes swept over me, checking for bumps and bruises.
“My ass fell backwards,” I announced, annoyance leaking into my tone. “I don’t know why it did that.”
Dean chuckled as he shook his head from side to side. “Stranger things have happened. Are you sure you’re okay though? No bruises or anything? I can get you an ice pack.”
From the deep recesses of my mind, I seemed to remember that he was a doctor. No, wait. A vet.
I gave him a slow smile. “I think I have a bruise right here.”
I pointed to my neck and held out to him for inspection. He grinned as he pressed his lips there, letting his mouth part slightly, allowing his hot breath to dance across the sensitive patch of skin.
“How’s this?”
I moaned slightly before I cleared my throat. “I think I have a bruise somewhere else too.”
He leaned back and looked at me in mock seriousness. “I want to make it all better.”
“I’m sure you can,” I murmured. “How about here?”
I pointed to the inside of my thighs. He gave me a humorous look before he spread my thighs open, causing my dress to ride up a little higher as he lowered his face between my legs. He ran his scratchy beard across my skin causing shivers of desire to race up and down my spine.
A Baby for the Vet (Boys of Rockford Series Book 4) Page 4