I absentmindedly patted her cat’s head on my way out, and he gave me a soft meow as he rubbed himself against my leg. I took one last long look at her place before I turned to leave.
I tried to keep the crushing disappointment from weighing on me, but I had no idea how to.
Why would she do this again?
We had a great time last night, and she was the one who kissed me. Everything that happened between us was because we both wanted it to, or at least I thought that was the case.
Now, I wasn’t so sure.
I thought last night would be a turning point for us. Instead, she batted her eyes at me, and I fell for it.
Again.
What was it about this woman that had me running around in circles?
Well, whatever the reason, it didn’t matter. I was heading into the office to get some paperwork done, and hopefully the mind-numbing routine would keep Kaitlyn off my mind for a while.
It was the best I could hope for.
I would think about the rest later.
The elevator finally pinged to indicate that I was on the ground floor, and I stepped outside inhaling the crisp morning air.
I looked left then right and pulled up the collar around my neck to ward off the slight chill in the air then headed down the stairs.
It was a weekend, and I didn’t actually have to be in the office, but I did feel like a little bit of paperwork would go a long way in helping me clear my head. Also, that paperwork wasn’t going to take care of itself.
I took out the phone and was just rounding the corner and froze when I spotted a familiar face across the street. My heart began to pound in my chest, and I ducked my head as I pretended not to see him.
Of all the people I could’ve run into this morning, why did it have to be Reverend Alexander?
Kaitlyn’s father was the last person I wanted to see this morning, and if he saw me anywhere near the vicinity of Kaitlyn’s apartment, I didn’t think he’d be too pleased.
It wouldn’t take long for him to put two and two together.
And I didn’t think I wanted to be around him when he did. I wasn’t all that sure I wanted to anger a man of his caliber. It wouldn’t end well for me.
The good news was he hadn’t seen me, so I could just pretend I hadn’t seen him either and be on my way. He’d be none the wiser, and it would be better for the both of us. We had nothing to talk about anyway.
I pretended to be engrossed on my phone as I waited for the light to turn green. I prayed fervently that he was going the other way, and I gulped when I noticed that we would have to pass by each other.
That’s fine.
Hopefully I would blend in with the crowd of people.
So far, he hadn’t looked my way at all. He looked more interested in his surroundings than anything else, a thoughtful but stern expression was etched across his features.
The light finally switched to green, and I walked as fast as my legs would allow me, letting a few people go ahead of me in the hopes that it would offer a better disguise. I tried to look up and see where he was without being obvious, but I was getting a few curious looks, so I just lowered my head and acted like I had something on my mind.
I was almost home free when a familiar voice called out.
“Dean!”
With one step on the pavement, and the other on the street, I turned around, hoping that it wasn’t who I thought it was, but I already knew.
I was just not that lucky.
Reverend Alexander stood a few feet away from me dressed in a pair of dark pants and a loose white t-shirt. His hair was combed neatly to the side, and he had his hands behind his back.
“Oh, hello Reverend,” I greeted, weakly as I gave him my best attempt at a genuine smile. “I didn’t see you there.”
“That’s quite alright.” He waved my comment away as he studied me. “Just the person I wanted to see.”
“You do? Er, I mean, really?”
Yeah, that can’t be good.
I suddenly had a vision flash behind my eyelids of little boys in Sunday school who got scolded and were asked to hold out their hands while punishment was being doled out.
I knew it was ridiculous because the Reverend wasn’t about to do that. I wasn’t a little boy, and we weren’t in school, but still I had that same queasy feeling wash over me.
Damn, I was so close to getting away too.
He peered at me. “Yes. Would you like to go get a cup of coffee?”
I bit my lip as I tried to think of any excuse.
Really, anything that would get me out of this.
It was at that moment that my conscience decided to make an appearance. The first stab of guilt washed over me. I didn’t consider myself a particularly religious person, but I didn’t want to lie to a man of God.
Wasn’t there a special place in hell for people who did that?
“Sure,” I said, finally as he fell into step behind me, and we headed towards the nearest café.
Reverend Alexander was obviously not one for small talk. I couldn’t tell if I was relieved or put off by the fact. It was true I wouldn’t particularly know what to say, but wouldn’t it better than this roaring silence?
It made me uncomfortable, and it weighed heavily on the both of us.
Finally, he stopped in front of a café, looked up it and smiled. “I like this one. What do you think?”
“It looks nice,” I offered as I shoved my hands in my pockets.
“Excellent, let’s get some coffee then.”
He breezed inside, ordered a black coffee, and drummed his hands against legs as I placed my order as well. We stood off to the side with an inch of space between us as I feigned occupation with my surroundings while he studied me.
My skin felt prickly, and I discreetly wiped my palms against my trousers as we waited. He pursed his lips and tapped his feet
He exhaled deeply. “So, tell me. How is work? What is it that you do again?”
“I’m a vet,” I told him as I dragged my attention back to the present. “I work not too far from here.”
“So, you treat animals. That’s a noble profession,” he complimented, his lips twisting into what looked like a smile. “Any reason why you chose it?”
“It just makes me happy, I guess.” I shrugged as my mind scrambled to come up with an answer that would please the formidable reverend.
His smile faltered a little before we took our orders, and he led us to a table set for two outside.
“So, when are you going to marry my daughter?”
17
Kaitlyn
Crap.
There was a special place in hell for people like me, wasn’t there?
Cowards who ran out on good people whenever they got too close.
I did feel awful about it, I really did, and I didn’t have the intention of running away.
Again.
I know it seems like I did, like it was premeditated somehow, but unlike the previous times, I wanted to stay. It was just that my heart and my brain weren’t on the same wavelength.
Unfortunately for me, and for Dean, my brain won out.
As soon as I began to stretch in bed, my eyes flew open, and I basked in the aftermath as I curled up on my side. The side that Dean was sleeping on still smelled like him, and I inhaled deeply, my toes curling, and my eyes rolling to the back of my head as it made my stomach tie itself up in knots.
What was this man doing to me?
And why did I kiss him last night?
It was supposed to be a friendly date.
After all, I couldn’t avoid the man forever. He was the father of my child, and like it or not, he was going to be in my life. For a good long while.
So, I figured I might as well try to have a healthy and civilized relationship with him, but then my feelings got in the way, and I pressed my lips to his.
I couldn’t even blame it on alcohol.
Much to my dismay.
It would’ve b
een easier if I could.
Instead, I had nothing but my idiotic lapse in judgement to be held at fault. Not that I regretted sleeping with him.
Not exactly.
My body felt tingly just thinking about the experience.
No, it wasn’t that at all.
It was the fact that our situation was already tricky because of the baby, and I didn’t want to make it more complicated by adding sex into the equation.
Once was a mistake, twice was a pattern.
And I didn’t want to go down that road.
I heard the sound of a running shower, and I sat up in bed, bringing my knees up to my chest as I contemplated my newest dilemma.
I debated what it would be like to stay. Dean would probably be sweet. He might even offer to take me out for breakfast. He just seemed like that kind of guy.
But then inevitably, he would want to talk.
It would creep up whether I wanted it to or not, and he wasn’t going to be satisfied by my evasiveness this time.
He would have me right where he wanted me. Stuck in my own home, and I would have no choice but to address the topic at hand.
As soon as the thought flashed across my brain, I jumped out of bed and kept one eye on the bathroom door while I guiltily rummaged around for clothes. I made sure to leave a shirt in his size where he could find it since I tore the one he was in, and I hopped into a pair of sweatpants and a clean shirt.
I slipped into my sneakers, grabbed a sweater, my purse, and with my heart in my throat tiptoed towards the door.
I was acting like a thief in my own apartment.
But hey, there was nothing else I could do.
Unless I felt like going back there and facing him.
I didn’t, so I did the walk of shame as I quickly gave my cat some fresh food and water. Not a minute too soon.
I heard the shower switch off as I raced down the stairs, taking them two at a time, my heart racing wildly in my chest as I burst through the double doors. I keeled over and brought my hands up to my chest as I struggled to get some air into my lungs.
I really was out of shape.
That about sums up what happened.
I was wandering around the street aimlessly, feeling like a shitty person, which I deserved when I leaned against a wall and pulled out my phone.
I needed to talk to somebody.
Someone who could put things into perspective for me.
I scrolled through my contact list, my scowl deepening as I shook my head at every single person I came across until I finally stopped at my sister’s name.
I hadn’t seen her since the night of my big revelation.
I wasn’t sure if she was the best person to talk to considering she was happily married with kids, but right now, she was the only person I wanted to talk to.
I sighed as I brushed my hair out of my face and flagged down a cab. I rattled off the address once I was settled in the back, and I watched the trees whiz by as he drove me to my sister’s house.
It was about 30-40 minutes away if you didn’t account for traffic, and luckily for me, it was a weekend, so people were mostly still sleeping.
It was what I should be doing too.
I should be pressed against Dean’s muscular chest with my arms wrapped around his middle, and his arm acting as a pillow for my head. Our legs should be intertwined, and he should be playing with my hair.
There were a lot of ‘should’ in that sentence and I was suddenly regretting my decision to walk away.
What would’ve been so bad about staying anyway?
It wasn’t a crime to admit that I didn’t know what to do.
Hardly.
And if he couldn’t accept that then that was his problem. At the very least, I should’ve have let my own insecurities drive me out of my own house.
It’s a little too late for that I thought wryly. Should’ve had that mental pep talk before I fled like a lunatic in broad daylight.
Oh, well.
Tenley had to help me.
Or not.
Tenley had a habit of making me feel worse. I don’t know how she did it. It was a rare talent, but she pulled it off nonetheless.
I supposed siblings were like that though.
They had the ability to get under your skin like no one else. One second, you were plotting their untimely demise, and the next you’re singing dramatic duets together.
There was no in between.
As the driver pulled up onto Tenley’s street, I took a minute to try and organize my thoughts into something semi-logical. I looked up at Tenley’s house surrounded by a white picket fence and snorted.
My sister had turned into a cliché.
I thanked the driver, paid him and got out of the cab. I swallowed back the lump in my throat as I walked across the lawn and stood in front of her house.
Last chance to hightail it out of here.
Before I could talk myself out of it, I rapped my knuckles against the door and pressed the button for good measure. I shoved my hands in my pockets and slung my bag over my shoulder.
A minute went by, then two as I tapped my foot impatiently and blew my hair out of my face.
Maybe she wasn’t home?
I should’ve called first, but in my haste to get away from Dean, I hadn’t exactly planned.
Suddenly, it was starting to look like a bad plan. I took one step backwards and was about to turn my back on the door when it swung open to reveal Tenley.
My eyes widened, and my mouth formed a surprised ‘O’ as I took in my sister who looked a little worse for wear. She was covered in something slimy and green that looked and smelled faintly like vomit.
Her clothes had dirt stains and splatters of paint and other questionable smudges that I had no desire to examine further.
I clutched my stomach in revulsion as I tried not to barf out the contents of the previous night. Snot was hanging off her sleeves like some kind of fashion statement, and she didn’t seem bothered by it.
Her hair was sticking out on all ends making her look like she’d escaped from some children’s book about evil witches. In fact, it looked like she’d been electrocuted, and the smell wasn’t much better.
I crinkled my nose as I tried to breathe through my mouth.
Yeah, by the looks of it, and the smell, Tenley hadn’t showered in at least a week.
My mouth twitched in amusement till I suddenly realized the irony of it all. This wasn’t funny. Not one bit.
I could be looking at my future.
Was this like looking in a mirror? Was Tenley foreshadowing the kind of life that would come?
Poor Tenley.
I had no idea how she did it, and I was abruptly filled with a newfound respect for my sister who took it all in stride.
I smiled weakly. “Hey, Sis.”
Tenley grinned. “Hey, Kait. I wasn’t expecting you.”
“Sorry I didn’t call. I didn’t know where else to go,” I explained, apologetically. “I hope it’s okay.”
“Of course, it’s okay.” Tenley waved my protest away as she stepped aside to let me in. “Would you mind taking Everly for a few minutes?”
I held out my hands, and Tenley immediately handed her over. I hoisted her over my shoulder and smiled as she tucked her head in the crook of my neck.
Everly smelled nice.
She had that new baby smell that I loved.
Tenley kicked toys and odd knick-knacks out of the way as she cleared a path to the kitchen. Carefully, I lifted Everly up and kept my eyes on the ground so as not to trip and fall.
It was like navigating a landmine till I finally made it to the kitchen.
“Here.” Tenley held her arms open expectantly, and I gently deposited Everly who sighed as soon as she recognized her mother. Tenley leaned over and placed her in the baby chair with a toy to play with.
Tenley opened and closed cupboards as she reached for a kettle and poured us both some tea.
Freaking tea.
My sister was serving an herbal drink that she once wouldn’t have been caught dead drinking.
“Umm,” I began as I tucked my hair behind my ear and clasped my hands in front of me. “I appreciate the tea, Ten, but do you have any coffee?”
I tried not to look at the tea derisively, but it was hard.
Tenley raised an eyebrow. “Well, excuse me, Princess, but we don’t have coffee right now.”
She was teasing me I know, but I was still surprised.
I sat up straight. “Why not?”
“I’m breastfeeding, so I had to give up coffee for a while,” she clarified as she took a sip of her own tea, pausing to add a dollop of sugar in the process.
I stared at her in horror. “Give up coffee? Did you say give up coffee?”
Why the hell would that be a prerequisite?
I couldn’t give coffee up.
If I didn’t have my cup in the morning, I might murder someone. I looked down at my stomach and grimaced.
Why did it seem like there was a lot to give up and very little to gain?
Jesus.
Parenthood sounded like the ultimate form of punishment.
No more staying out late.
No coffee while I’m breastfeeding.
No hosting parties.
I might as well kiss my social life goodbye.
“It’s not the end of the world you know,” Tenley pointed out, amusement coloring her tone. “You’d be surprised at what you can and can’t give up for your kids.”
I shook my head. “I’m sure you can, Ten, but I can’t. You know what I’m like without coffee.”
Tenley set down her tea. “Yes, I remember, but it is what it is.”
I picked up my tea, sniffed it then took a small tentative sip. “It’s an acquired taste.”
“As entertaining as this conversation is, I’m sure you’re not here to talk about my dietary habits,” Tenley said, dryly. “So, come on. Spill.”
“Am I that obvious?” I asked, sheepishly as I played around with the tea bag looking anywhere but at my sister.
“No really, but we grew up together, so I kind of know you,” she reminded me, sarcastically. “Is it the baby?”
A Baby for the Vet (Boys of Rockford Series Book 4) Page 12