He had been like a brother to me. He was one of the best people I had ever known and now he was gone. I would never get to see his smiling face again, or hear his boisterous laugh. He was gone, and he had taken a large piece of me with him. I missed him terribly and my heart ached for him just the same.
I felt the warmth of Ky’s finger as it reached out and brushed away the stray tear that had fallen down my face. I was taken aback by his compassion for a brief second, but then quickly remembered that this was all a job for him. He didn’t really care about my emotions, or me and I’d be damned if I was about to let this bastard in.
I gently pushed his hand away as I turned to look out the car window. So much had changed in such a short amount of time, and I wasn’t sure how much longer I was going to be able to keep it all together. My life was over. I had no friends or family left to speak to, and to me that wasn’t much of a life worth living.
I turned in Ky’s direction, needing his undivided attention. “Ky?”
“Oh you’re speaking to me now?” He snapped.
I turned back around in my seat wanting to punch him as hard as humanly possible. If he was going to be a prick, then I was done. “Never mind.” I muttered under my breath.
His hand lightly touched my forearm and electricity instantly flowed through my veins. Regardless of my sheer unbridled hatred for this man, something else, something completely undeniable was there between us and it was slowly becoming hard to ignore. “I’m sorry. What’s up?”
I glanced down at his hand that still sat on my arm, when he quickly pulled it away. “Is it normal for me to be left alone from now on at the store? I mean you made it seem as though I was going to have twenty four hour protection and now Kristy is saying that-“
The car came to a screeching halt in front of our brownstone, and Ky was instantly out of the car and ushering me inside. He made sure each and every curtain was drawn and all the lights were off except for one, before he finally pulled me down next to him on the couch.
“Tell me exactly what she said to you.”
He must’ve seen the look of terror strewn across my face, because he was suddenly pulling me into his chest and hugging my body close to his. My eyes fluttered shut with the contact as I breathed in his overwhelming scent. I took in a deep breath, but then I found myself pushing back from him.
“Better?” He whispered.
I shook my head, not knowing what he was trying to accomplish. “Not really.” I quietly responded.
“Now tell me what she said.”
His tone was quite a bit more comforting than it had ever been, and that alone made me want to talk to him. Why couldn’t he be this personable normally? I shook the ridiculous thoughts from my mind and started telling him what she said. “She did say she would check back on me in a couple of days. I just wasn’t sure if this was how all of this was supposed to work.”
“It’s most definitely not.” He was pacing back and forth in front of me and pushing his hands back through his thick brown hair. My eyes were fixated on him as every muscle pulled the thin fabric of his dress shirt. “Hello?”
He was now standing still in front of me, with a wicked smirk on his face. Asshole! He was starting to realize just how much he affected me, and it was really starting to piss me off. “What?” I growled.
“Is there something you saw that interests you?”
“Not in the least. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to bed.” I stood and started walking towards the stairs when I felt his hand grab my wrist, making me stop, but I refused to turn around.
“Lyndley, I promise I’ll keep you safe. I’ll get this all sorted out tomorrow. Okay?”
I nodded in agreement and then continued up to my bedroom. Once inside, I closed the door letting my forehead fall against it. I could feel the tears welling up behind my eyes and I could no longer fight the onslaught of tears that were about to ensue.
Eventually I made it over to the bed and crawled onto it, not bothering to pull back the covers. I didn’t have the energy to get up and change into my pajamas or anything else, so I pulled my legs up to my chest and let the wave of emotions I was experiencing take over. I was done fighting against what I knew I would eventually have to deal with anyway.
Twelve
Ky
There were at least a million different things that I wanted to say to comfort her or even just make her feel a little bit better, but my ego got the best of me. I was here to do a job. She was a job, and I wasn’t about to put her safety in jeopardy for the ridiculously juvenile and hormonal needs I wanted to fulfill.
I stood about midway up the stairs staring up at the hallway that led to her room, playing out at least a dozen different scenarios. I wanted her in a way that I hadn’t felt in quite sometime, and a part of me wanted to get to know the amazing woman that hid beneath that tough exterior.
About ten minutes later, I decided that nothing good would ever come of me walking up those steps. As much as I wanted to be there for her, I knew I couldn’t. So instead, I made my way into the darkened kitchen and retrieved what my body had been craving all day. I took a long pull from the bottle and then another. Before I knew it, the entire contents of the bottle was now cooling my insides.
I opened the fridge to reach for another when I heard a familiar sound. I quietly made my way over to the bottom of the stairs, listening for the sound again. When I heard it again, I slowly started making my way up the steps. Her faint cries pulled at my heart and I found myself closing in on her door. My hand went up to knock, to ask for permission to enter, but something inside of me took over and before I knew it, I was standing inside of her room.
She was tucked in a fetal position on her bed and my heart sank. The realization that so much had happened to this poor girl in the last seventy-two hours sunk in, and I felt for her. What she was going through couldn’t be easy to deal with, and my shitty attitude on top of it all, didn’t help I’m sure. She still hadn’t heard me come in either that or she was choosing to ignore me. I stepped in her direction just as her muffled cries began again.
Without any further hesitation, I gently picked her up in my arms and slid underneath her. She never looked up at me. The only acknowledgment I received was when she pressed her face firmly into my chest as her tears soaked through my shirt. I closed my eyes, breathing her in, as I wrapped my arms around her fragile frame that was now curled into my side.
She smelled of almonds and coconut and I instantly committed the smell to memory. For the first few minutes that I held her, I didn’t know exactly what to say or do. I was afraid of scaring her off with words, so I let my hands say what I couldn’t. I brushed the hair back from her face, tucking it behind her ear, and then followed the length down her back. As much as I was soothing her, I was soothing myself as well.
When her crying stopped and she hadn’t made a sound, I just assumed she had fallen asleep, but I wasn’t ready to leave her just yet. Holding Lyndley this way ignited something inside of me that I had missed. Every time her breath grazed my skin beneath my shirt, I shuttered. There was something so poetic and so intense about this girl, and I found myself intrigued by her every action.
My fingers were tracing her hair down the middle of her back when her low voice caught my attention. “I miss him.”
Without her having to say another word, I knew exactly who she was talking about. “I know, and I’m sorry that you have to go through all of this. We’re gonna catch these guys.”
“How can you be so certain?”
It was a good question, and one that I had been asked far too many times. I was never one hundred percent certain, but there was a reason I chose the profession I did. I liked to get the bad guys and make them pay, and this case was no different. “Cause I always get the bad guy.”
I felt her body shake below me and I wasn’t certain, but I was pretty sure it was from her laughing. “You’re just a regular cowboy, aren’t ya? The shoot em’ up kind, huh?”
/> “Well, I wouldn’t go that far, but I do what I have to in order to get done what needs to be done.”
“I just wish I could’ve said good-bye, you know?”
I could hear her walls starting to crumble beneath me and I couldn’t help but smile to myself. As much as she wanted to push me away, she was finally starting to let me in just a bit. “I know. What was he like?” I knew I should’ve walked away, but I just couldn’t bring this moment to an end just yet. It was nice having someone to talk to, especially when that someone was Lyndley.
“He was an amazing guy. Probably one of the sweetest guys I’ve ever known. He would’ve given the shirt off his back to just about anyone in need. He was far more selfless than I could ever be.”
“How long have you known him?”
She let out a strangled sigh and I knew she was fighting back the tears in order to answer me. “Since sixth grade. We were instant friends and remained that way all the way up until he…”
I could hear her getting choked up, so I continued to rub small circles across her back, instantly calming her down. It made me feel good that I could still soothe and comfort someone in this way. “What’s your family like, Lyndley?”
I could feel the corners of her mouth raise into a smile as I asked her. “Ah, my family is amazing. My mom and dad are still happily married after twenty-one years, and still just as in love as the day they met. At least that’s what they tell me.” She laughed. “My father is actually, um…he’s a college football coach at CSU, and my mom is a teacher.”
“Do you have any brothers or sisters?” I found myself being drawn to her history and what she was saying. With every word that passed those beautiful lips, I found myself wanting to know more.
“I have a little sister, Carson. She’s a senior in high school. She’s nothing like me.” She giggled. “She’s so loving and caring, and doesn’t have a bitchy bone in her body. She’s amazing. She looks just like me though. Every time we go somewhere together people think we’re twins.” She tugged at her now brown hair. “Well, we used to look exactly alike. She’s smarter than me though. She wants to be a neurosurgeon.”
“Why do you doubt yourself so much? Being a lawyer is a huge deal. Not many people can make it.”
“It’s not doubt, it’s fact. Her wanting to become a neurosurgeon is far more impressive than me becoming a lawyer. I don’t doubt that my parents are proud of me, but when my sister accomplishes something they just light up. It’s like everything they ever wanted in a child they got in one tiny package with her. I don’t hold it against her by any means, I just know she is their tiny prodigy and I’m okay with that.”
I wrapped my arms around her and gave a small squeeze. “Well I think you’re pretty awesome.”
I felt her body stiffen beneath my hold and I closed my eyes, cursing myself for even bringing it up. “Thanks, Ky.”
“You don’t have to thank me, Lyndley. It’s my job.” The minute the words left my mouth, I instantly regretted them. After all of that, I still knew how to fuck things up.
She pushed against my body and sat up on the bed. “I think I’m going to try and go to sleep now. You can go.”
I could see the anger behind her eyes and I wanted to kick myself for putting it there. “I’m so-“
She held up her hand before I could finish my apology. I reached out for her, to bring her close and tell her that what we had just done meant more to me than anything, but she was back to being closed off, and I knew it was my doing. Now I had to live with the consequences.
“Good night, Ky.”
I stood and walked towards the door. “Good night, Lyndley. Sleep well.” I flicked the light switch and closed the door behind me. As much as I wanted to believe that Lyndley actually liked me for me, I knew better. How could she like a man who makes her question everything about herself and is a total dick to boot? Who was I kidding? Having someone like Lyndley just wasn’t in the cards for me, and I was okay with that. Hell, I was used to that.
Thirteen
Lyndley
I woke up the next morning feeling like I drank the entire bar. My head ached and my body was stiff from all of the crying I had done, and it instantly made me rethink my plan to work out this morning. I rolled onto my back and lay there staring at the ceiling, questioning all that had happened last night. I can’t say I was disappointed when Ky came into my room to comfort me, but what started out as an amazing gesture on his part, quickly turned into me knowing exactly what I would always be to him.
I was a job. I would never be anything but that, and he made that perfectly clear. I was so stupid to think that after everything I had confided in him, that he would what, fall in love with me? Ask me to run away with him and we would live happily ever after? Even if that was what I wanted, I knew now that it would never end up that way.
Before I could spend another second feeling sorry for myself, I made myself get out of bed and get dressed to go running. My alarm hadn’t gone off yet, so I knew there was no way it was time to go into work yet. And if I owned the place can’t I open the store whenever I wanted to, technically? I tugged my workout clothes on and threw my hair up in a low ponytail as I made my way downstairs.
Ky had gone out and bought me practically anything I would ever need when we had first arrived. Of course I was completely baffled when he managed to get all my sizes correct, but he was a guy. I mean how hard is it to know what size bra a girl wears when you spend all day looking at them? Either way, I was grateful. I had mass amounts of clothing and shoes at my disposal and it felt nice to feel like I had what I needed to feel at home in this place and in the life that we were building.
“Hey Ky? Do you know where I put the box with my sneakers in it?” I sat on the small bench by the back door tugging on my socks and getting super annoyed that he wasn’t answering me. “KY?” I shouted louder this time. When I still didn’t hear a response, I quietly made my way upstairs to see if maybe he was still sleeping.
I glanced at the clock on the kitchen wall as I made my way up the spiral staircase and instantly felt like an ass when I realized it was barely six in the morning. Of course he was still sleeping, who was I kidding? He didn’t have to be to work until eight.
I tiptoed over to his half open bedroom door, holding my breath in anticipation of what position I may find him in. When I gently pushed the door open I was shocked when his bed was completely empty and still made. My heart began to race and my palms began to sweat as I came to the strong realization that I was home alone.
I backed out of the doorway, clutching at my chest as it tightened. My breathing was becoming erratic and I was starting to hyperventilate. I darted down the hall and ran down the stairs, running full force into a hard wall of muscle when I hit the bottom step. I felt his fingers curl around my shoulders, holding me steady.
“Whoa there, tiger. Where ya going in such a hurry?” He laughed.
I stood back glaring at him. How could he be laughing when I was scared shitless? My hand came up and fell to his chest as hard as I could manage. “What the hell is wrong with you? And where the hell were you?”
His hand came up, rubbing the spot I had just assaulted. “Jesus, Lyndley. What the hell was that for?”
I pushed past him and into the dining room where I spotted a couple shoeboxes stacked on the table. I grabbed the one with the picture of the running shoes on it, and made my way back out to the bench by the back door to put them on. “I literally almost just had a heart attack. Next time you leave, could you possibly be considerate enough to leave a god damn note?” I finished tying my shoes and reached for the small iPod on the corner of the end table.
“You mean one like this?” He was holding up a small piece of paper that had something scrolled across it, but it was too far for me to read exactly what was written.
“Whatever, Ky.” I slipped the iPod into the armband on my bicep and pushed past him to head outside. His hand caught my arm just as I opened the front door.<
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“Where do you think you’re going?”
I tugged my arm out of his grasp and gave him my best ‘eat shit’ face. “I’m going running. I’ll be back in about an hour.”
“Lyndley, you know I can’t let you go out there by yourself. Wait a minute, and I’ll go with you.”
“Since when are you a runner?”
“I’m not, but-“
I looked him directly in his eyes, “But it’s your job, right? No thanks. I’ll be back.” I quickly ran down the front steps and out the front gate. There was no way I was going to give him a chance to catch up to me. If something was going to happen to me, then something was going to happen. I couldn’t spend the rest of my life hiding inside, and more than anything, I needed to burn off some of this hostile energy or I was going to explode.
I rounded the corner just short of one of the entrances to Central Park, and came to an abrupt halt. I was amazed at what I was looking at. I had never been to New York and now that I was here, I couldn’t help but look around at all the amazing things this city housed. The park was breath taking and vast, and I was having a hard time fathoming that in the middle of this busy city full of high rises and skyscrapers, sat this beautifully articulated piece of nature. It was beyond words.
I closed my eyes and let a smile fall across my face as I took in the serene smell of pine trees. When I opened my eyes to take off running again, I was nearly knocked over when Ky’s face appeared before me. “Do you have to ruin everything?”
“What do you mean?” He responded sarcastically.
“Go away!” I took off in the direction that everyone else was running, trying to ignore the fact that a very annoying guy was following close by. Maybe if I picked up the pace, he wouldn’t be able to keep up.
“You’re not that lucky.” He shouted in my direction.
Protecting Lyndley Page 6