The Thrush from Thrush Affair

by jhalpin322@aol. com

  The two agents breathed again. Illya moved very slowly ahead. The two men saw a faint light and heard voices. They crawled very quietly until the voices grew loud and clear. They lay just behind a large grille. It was the ventilation grille and from behind it the entire room was visible. It was a large room full of electronic equipment, desks, files and an elegant conference table.

  It was also the room where Lilli Kessler stood facing a very tall, emaciated man in a business suit. The man had on glasses and wore a pencil thin mustache.

  He also held a pistol trained on her.

  TWO

  Lilli was smiling at the cadaverous giant. Napoleon Solo and Illya Kuryakin had their Specials out and ready.

  “Shall we go around once more Miss Kessler?” the emaciated tall man said in a voice that was light and almost effeminate. The glint of the eyes behind the dark glasses was not effeminate.

  “What else can I tell you? I did not give the list to U.N.C.L.E. Why should I? I have it safely hidden. But if anything should happen to me, it will go to U.N.C.L.E., yes?”

  The emaciate man laughed lightly. “A hollow threat, Miss Kessler. Surely you know we will change all our couriers the instant you are dead. Do not try to blackmail me!”

  The eyes of the cadaverous giant flashed behind dark glasses. Solo and Illya looked at the others in the room, Maxine Trent and the two silent men from The Barbary Parrot. There were also Walter Hand and Manfred Burton. The fat little Hand was sitting at his ease. The heavy-set sub-leader seemed tense as he watched the emaciated man and Lilli Kessler. It was Burton who spoke.

  “Why did you take the list, Lilli? Why did you help them to escape?” Burton said.

  Walter Hand snickered. “Really my dear Manfred, isn’t it obvious? The good lady fooled you all the way. She brought U.N.C.L.E. into this, and then she fooled us again with that act of helping to capture them.”

  Lilli turned, smiled at Hand. “Really, Mr. Hand? Then what am I doing here, eh?”

  Hand waved a pudgy hand. “Really, Council Member Z, do we have to go on with this farce? Dispose of her now, and let’s get to business. I admit that both Burton and I have equal claim to the microfilm plans for the rocket, but I think I have proven more competent. I did not allow a traitor to almost ruin our entire operation, as Burton did.”

  Solo and Illya, hidden behind the ventilation grille, watched the tall, emaciated man. So this was a member of the infamous THRUSH council. This was Council Member Z. Who he really was they did not know but they knew he would prove to be some man high in some nation of the world. His voice had no accent. He could be from anywhere. Both of the agents memorized his thin face as he waved his pistol arrogantly.

  “I will decide who is efficient and competent, Walter,” Council Member Z snapped. “Burton has been heavily remiss in allowing this woman into his confidence, as well as by allowing U.N.C.L.E. and your own men to gain access to his files. However you have also been remiss and lax in allowing Burton to invade your headquarters, and by losing two U.N.C.L.E. men when you had them!”

  The fat man went pale as Burton. “Yes, Councilman Z.”

  The emaciated Councilman Z now turned to look at Lilli. His eyes again flashed behind the dark glasses. “I believe you were about to explain something, Miss Kessler?”

  Lilli shrugged. “I asked what I was doing here. You see I mean, I wanted to know if you had considered why I had allowed you to take me?”

  “Allowed?” Councilman Z said.

  “Of course, allowed. Do you think I did not expect that you would come for that list? Do you think I had to come to San Francisco?”

  Councilman Z nodded, “Go on, Miss Kessler.”

  “Don’t you see? I was telling the truth about events in New York. Napoleon Solo forced me to help him break into Burton’s vault. I knew Kuryakin would arrive, and I betrayed him for you. But I knew I was not completely trusted. So I stole the antidote, the key, and the list. The list was for protection. I knew I was safe as long as I had it. The key and the antidote were to free Solo and Kuryakin. You see, I knew I would need their help to escape finally from Hand’s stronghold.”

  “And you wanted to escape because you did not trust Hand?”

  “Exactly. It went very well. Solo and Kuryakin got me out safely. And now I am safely here. Burton and Hand are fools; they would have killed me on sight. But you are much more intelligent. You will wait until you know more.”

  Councilman Z nodded. “So I will. Haste causes many errors.”

  “And stupidity,” Lilli said.

  “And you are not stupid, Miss Kessler?” Councilman Z said.

  “No, I’m not stupid.”

  The tall emaciated Councilman Z nodded slowly. “I believe you. But if you allowed us to capture you again, you must have had a reason. Perhaps you will tell me what that reason is?”

  Lilli smiled. “I think you will find out, Council Member.”

  “Ah?” Councilman Z said, arching an eyebrow. “Well, then, since we have you and you cannot escape, suppose we get on with the main task of the evening. Which one of you gentlemen has the microfilm?”

  Burton spoke sourly. “Neither of us. We agreed to give it to Agent Trent to carry.”

  Councilman Z turned to Maxine. “The film please, Agent Trent.”

  Maxine handed over the film. Councilman Z took it and went to a desk. On the desk a microscope was set up. Councilman Z placed the first frames of the film under the microscope. Behind the grille, Solo and Illya watched.

  They were ready to make their move the instant Councilman Z attempted to leave the room. Surprise would be on their side, and they would have to fight their way out with Lilli. By now, other U.N.C.L.E. agents should be closing in on the warehouse.

  Councilman Z peered into the microscope, and then straightened up. “It is in code, of course.”

  Councilman Z barked an order. The two silent men went to a large object that had been covered by a dust cover. Solo and Illya behind their grille up near the ceiling of the room saw the instrument that had been uncovered. It was the THRUSH Ultimate Computer! Or, it was one of the models. A super computer of such an advanced design no other could come close to matching its functions. Councilman Z carried the film to the machine.

  “The computer is coded for this code, of course. Bartz sent on the details of the coding system before he died. It was only a matter of locating the microfilm itself. It is unfortunate that we were caused all this trouble by the death of Bartz.”

  “But we got back,” the fat little Walter Hand said.

  Burton snorted. “I got it back, Hand! I located it, not you. Oh, you stole it from me, yes. But I located it!”

  Councilman Z snarled. “Stop this childish bickering! We have it, and small credit to either of you! No wonder Bartz would not recommend either of you!”

  The two sub-leaders lapsed into a surly silence. Maxine Trent was watching Burton. The two silent men were watching Walter Hand. The tension could almost be cut with a knife. In THRUSH everyone had to be on guard, even when with fellow THRUSH agents. Councilman Z glared at both the sub-leaders and bent to fit the tiny roll of microfilm onto a miniature spindle. He stepped back and started the computer.

  The tiny roll of film moved through with maddening slowness. It had to move slowly so that the computer could translate its coded information onto a card, including the details of the drawings. In the room the silence was total. Up in the ceiling Illya and Solo held their breath.

  It was so silent in the room that even their very light breathing might be heard. The only sound was the faint hum of the computer as it scanned the film and made its translation of the coded details. The film moved on its spindle. The machine hummed.

  Then there was a faint click and a blue light glowed on the face of the computer.

  A card dropped out.

  Councilman Z went slowly to pick up the card that held the information on another strip of film equally small. The thin giant carried the card to the microscope.
He adjusted the scope and peered in. He peered for a long time, pushing the entire card through the microscope.

  Then he straightened up. He looked at them all. A towering skeleton with eyes hidden behind the dark glasses.

  “Gibberish!” Councilman Z said. “Complete gibberish!”

  Manfred Burton jumped up. “Impossible!”

  Councilman Z glared like a maddened lion all around the room. “There is nothing on that film but nonsense!”

  The high laugh of Walter Hand echoed through the room.

  THREE

  Manfred Burton was paler than death. He almost swayed as he crossed the room and snatched the card from the hand of Councilman Z. Burton pushed it under the microscope, twirled the dials, peered in, twirled again, and. Slowly, stopped moving. He looked up.

  “It’s impossible!”

  “Is it?” Councilman Z said ominously.

  That is the roll of film Bartz had!” Burton shouted.

  “No, that is not the roll!” Councilman Z thundered. “I have the proper code. That is not the roll. What did you do with the real roll?”

  “I swear this is the roll!” Burton cried.

  “U.N.C.L.E.!” Walter Hand said suddenly. “When Maxine found that film it was in Napoleon Solo’s hands! He must have switched---“

  Councilman Z looked scornful. “How could he? Surely your men searched him? Another roll of film would have been found.”

  “Well---,” the fat THRUSH sub-leader began.

  Burton interrupted him. “That is the roll! My mark is on it! I marked it the moment I took it from Bartz. He needed his heart medicine. I made him give me the film, and swear it was real, before I gave him the medicine. He was frantic. I took the film when he asked for the medicine. I was sure or I wouldn’t have let him---“

  Burton stopped. They were all staring at him. The heavy-set leader blinked, looked at them all. Councilman Z was staring hard. Now Councilman Z spoke in a soft deadly voice.

  “You were with him? You let Bartz die?” Councilman Z said.

  Burton blinked. “I---No, of course. I mean---“

  “You let Bartz die! You withheld the medicine!” Councilman Z roared.

  Burton snarled. “He was old! His heart was bad. But he wouldn’t let me take over! No! He wouldn’t recommend me to---“

  The single shot rang out in the closed room. The echoes bounced from the walls. The second shot of Councilman Z’s pistol sent Burton sprawling over in a heap. The heavy-set sub-leader lay in a pool of widening blood. He was dead. Walter Hand laughed.

  “I knew he was a fool,” the fat little man said.

  Alarms were clanging. Feet pounded outside the door. The door opened and five THRUSH security guards dashed in, led by a security sergeant. They had their weapons out. But they froze when they saw the emaciated council member holding the pistol. Councilman Z motioned contemptuously.

  “Take him out!”

  The security soldiers dragged the body out into the corridor and the door closed. Walter Hand rubbed his fat little hands. He was beaming, but he was also serious. Now he nodded to the tall council member.

  ”I’ll find the real film. That leaves only me. I am the new head of North America. I will start to find the real film at once.”

  It was Lilli Kessler who now spoke. The petite blonde moved out to stand in front of Councilman Z. She smiled.

  “There is no need to look,” Lilli said.

  Hand whirled. “What the devil do you---“

  “You have the correct film of the rocket plans,” Lilli said.

  Up behind their grille, Napoleon Solo and Illya Kuryakin looked at each other. The released the safeties on their Specials. What was happening? Their eyes told them that each was asking the same question. What was happening? And in their eyes was the same answer.

  Walter Hand and Councilman Z in the room also had the same question in their eyes. But they did not yet have the answer. Councilman Z watched the petite singer carefully.

  “We have the correct films?” Councilman Z said quietly.

  Lilli nodded. “Yes, Council Member, you have the proper films of the rocket plans. Burton was quite correct.”

  “How in hell can you---“ Walter Hand began.

  Councilman Z waved him to silence. “You can prove this, Miss Kessler?”

  “I am not in the habit of making statements I cannot prove.”

  “Ah?” Councilman Z said. “Then I take it that this is what you meant when you said we would find out just what you came here for? Why you allowed us to capture you?”

  Lilli shrugged. “I did not know the location of the meeting. Also, I needed help and protection in case Hand or Burton tried to kill me first. You see, Council Member, they had the organization! I was alone. I could take no chances. They might have learned of my status within Interpol, and---“

  “Interpol!” Hand cried. “You see, Council Member? She admits that---“

  “Be quiet, Hand.”

  Councilman Z thundered. He looked long and hard at Lilli. “If you were with Interpol, Miss Kessler, you have signed your death warrant by coming here, no matter---“

  “Perhaps, Council Member, you will allow me to demonstrate? I think you will understand. Besides, cheri, you do want those rocket plans, yes?”

  Councilman Z nodded very slowly. Walter Hand shuddered with fury. The fat little sub-leader could not control his anger. “I protest! This woman is a traitor. I---“

  Councilman Z looked slowly at Hand. “I believe I told you to be quiet, didn’t I?”

  Hand paled and became silent. Councilman Z nodded to Lilli.

  “I want the plans, Miss Kessler. You may proceed.”

  Lilli motioned to the computer. “Have the roll of film run through the computer once more, Council Member. But this time set the machine for voice programming as well.”

  Councilman Z waved his hand toward the two silent men, ordering them to do as Lilli asked. The two men rewound the tiny roll of film. Then they set the machine for voice pickup. They stood back to show that they were ready.

  Councilman Z nodded.

  One of the men started the computer. Walter Hand stared. Maxine Trent watched from half closed eyes. Councilman Z showed no expression on his face, his eyes quiet behind the dark glasses.

  The tiny roll of film began to move through the computer. Behind their grille up near the ceiling Solo and Illya watched as if hypnotized, unable to move as the strange scene played out below. In the silence of the room, Lilli began to sing.

  The smoky voice enunciated the lyrics Lili Marlene, slowly and clearly in her native German. The sad old song seemed to completely fill the room as the throaty-voiced singer poured out the tragic story of the girl and the soldier.

  The room was as quiet as the clubs where she performed. Her phrasing was the old magic that had charmed men on four continents, in all the cities of Europe, and far across the dim café and clubs of America.

  Lilli sang, and the tiny roll of microfilm continued to move so slowly through the computer.

  Then it stopped; the blue light glowed again on the front of the computer. The card dropped out. Councilman Z strode to the machine and picked up the card. He looked at it for a moment, and then he looked at Lilli. Then he walked up to the microscope, placed the card under it again, turned the dials, and bent down to look at the strip of film on the card.

  The room was totally soundless.

  Councilman Z twirled dials, ran the entire card through the microscope.

  Walter Hand sweated, mopped his fat little face. Lilli just stood there quietly. Maxine had moved away from Walter Hand.

  Councilman Z straightened up. “These are the plans.”

  Everyone looked at Lilli. The petite blonde smiled and shrugged at the same time.

  “You see, Augustus Bartz and I had been working together for a long time. But I had no true status within THRUSH. Augustus always trusted me above everyone else, and he wanted someone he could trust that no one knew about. We
worked out the voice activated code many years ago. I transmitted many of his messages that way. That Interpol man at the Café Lieder was becoming suspicious; he was taking down my musical arrangements. I had to have him killed.”

  “What about Interpol?” Councilman Z said quietly.

  “I have been a double agent for many years. It was most useful. Even U.N.C.L.E. trusted me!” and Lilli Kessler laughed aloud.

  “You could have come to council and explained,” Councilman Z said.

  Lilli raised an eyebrow. “Without the plans? Would you have believed me? No, I had to have the plans. But Burton had them. So I enlisted U.N.C.L.E. to help me get them. They were most helpful, the fools. Then Hand stole them from me. After that I knew my only chance was to be present at this meeting. U.N.C.L.E. was most helpful again!”

  “You and Bartz always planned it this way?” Councilman Z said slowly.

  Lilli nodded. “Augustus always used the musically-keyed film. That way, if anything happened to him, I would be the only one who could interpret the film. He thought it would prove to the council how much he thought of me, how efficient and useful I was, and would help me convince the council.”

  Councilman Z nodded slowly. “Convince the council of what, Miss Kessler?”

  “Convince you that I should be named the chief of all North American operations.”

  “Never!” Walter Hand shouted. The fat little man was shaking with rage and frustration.

  Lilli Kessler laughed. “And as my first act, I can deliver two first rate U.N.C.L.E. agents who are watching us right now!”

  FOUR

  It was only Walter Hand that saved Napoleon Solo and Illya Kuryakin. Trapped up inside the roof, their faces at the grille and watching, they would have had no chance if THRUSH has acted at once, but there would have been no hope except for Walter Hand.

  The fat little sub-leader spewed hatred and oaths at Lilli Kessler. He screamed at the tall, cadaverous council member. He waved his short, fat arms.

  “I am the new chief! There is no one else! Do you hear me?”

  Councilman Z stared stonily. “Council will decide that, Hand.”