by Amy Ruttan
Now she was a force to be reckoned with, showing the strength that he’d always knew was there but which she’d never revealed. It was a shame that she’d hidden this person for so long, because this woman thrilled him.
As they were wheeling the patient down to the OR another intern came running up.
“The police are here. They wanted to talk to the patient about the accident,” the intern said.
“The patient is crashing. They’re going to have to wait,” Zac snapped, maybe a bit too harshly but a man’s life was at stake. They couldn’t lose another patient tonight. Not on Christmas Eve.
“My son. Oh, God. My son!”
Get a grip on yourself.
He took a calming breath.
“Tell them one of us will be there as soon as we can,” he said to the intern. “Explain to them what has happened.”
The intern nodded and ran back to the emergency room.
Dr. Trace and Dr. Lynne took the patient in while Ella and Zac scrubbed. She was mouthing things to herself, her blue eyes wild as she tucked her long, wavy blonde hair under her scrub cap. He knew that look. She was going over what she’d done wrong. Just like he’d done countless times. Like any surgeon when a patient took a turn for the worse after being stable.
“Hey, this isn’t your fault. I’m sure the splenectomy was fine. He was involved in an accident. Missing bleeders happen,” he said.
“Or sutures done by a tired surgeon don’t hold,” she muttered. Then she shook her head. “No, it’s not that.”
“Exactly. Let’s go find out what it is and fix it. Let’s give this guy another Christmas, shall we?”
Ella nodded. “Exactly.”
They headed into the operating room while the scrub nurse got them geared up. The anesthesiologist had the patient ready and it only took a moment to prep the abdomen. Ella rolled her shoulders as she climbed up on her stool.
“Scalpel.”
The scrub nurse handed her the scalpel handle first. Zac stood across from her, ready to assist. He’d done this before, in worse conditions. He could help her find the bleeders, stop further damage to the patient’s body.
“The splenectomy looks stable,” Ella said on examination, “but where is this bleeding coming from?”
Zac began to suction it away, peering in to have a look, pulling the retractor. “Kidney. Look, the left kidney.”
“That’s it. Dammit. It was fine when I removed the spleen. It was bruised, but he was still producing good urine output.”
The left kidney was not salvageable. Hopefully it was just the left kidney. The brunt of the impact had been on the left side where the car had apparently wrapped around the pole. This patient had been wearing his seatbelt, whereas his passenger, who had passed away, had not.
“My son. My God. My son!”
Zac rolled his shoulders.
Steady. Calm and steady.
“Think of that one perfect moment in your life. The time you felt the most joy,” his psychiatrist had said. “Whenever the stress gets to you, think of that moment.”
The problem was he couldn’t think of that moment. Not now. Not with Ella working so hard to save a man’s life.
Sweat began to bead on his brow.
Focus.
He couldn’t slip back into the nightmare. Not now. He wouldn’t lose this life. No more death tonight.
At least Ella didn’t notice. She was focused on the patient. Zac reined it in and throughout the surgery he managed to hold it together and that’s because he focused on Ella. On that moment he chose, their first kiss and the voices, the horrors passed.
Only focusing on Ella with her right in front of him distracted him in a different way.
And all he could think about was how he’d hurt her.
The kiss he treasured had been tainted by the way he’d hurt her and how he’d been so obtuse and not even known it.
“There,” Ella said with relief. “That should hold.”
“Good job,” Zac said. “Do you need help closing?”
“No, I’m good. I’ll finish up here and then I’m going to take a nap if you don’t mind. I’ve been on duty now for over twenty-four hours.”
“I’ll manage the emergency room.” Zac removed the retractor and a nurse took over his spot to assist Ella with the closing. “I’ll go talk to the police officers as well.”
“That sounds great,” Ella said, not looking up at him.
Zac got out of the operating room as fast as he could without trying to draw attention to himself. His body was shaking and he needed to put some distance between him and her.
After he scrubbed out he grabbed the chart for the patient who did not survive the accident and found the police officers were waiting in a small meeting room near the emergency department.
“I’m sorry to have kept you waiting. I’m Dr. Davenport.” He shook the police officers’ hands.
“Not a problem, Dr. Davenport,” the lieutenant said. “I’m sorry it took so long to get to the hospital, but the roads are wicked out there.”
“So I’ve heard. I arrived here before the storm shut the city down.” Zac sat down with the police officers. “How can I help you, officers?”
“The patients that were involved in the motor vehicle collision. We have identified them and sent notices to their next of kin.”
Zac nodded. “You were told that the female passenger succumbed to her injuries, yes? I was the surgeon who worked on her when she came into the emergency room.”
The lieutenant nodded. “Yes. Can you tell us why?”
Zac opened the hard copy of the chart. “She was the unrestrained passenger. The cause was blunt force trauma after being ejected from the vehicle. There were also large quantities of methamphetamine in her bloodstream when the labs came back. We will not do an autopsy until we get permission from the next of kin.”
The lieutenant nodded. “They were known drug users, both of them, and they were evading arrest when their vehicle collided with a median and then the lamppost. What is the status of the driver?”
“He’s currently in surgery. Sadly one of the side effects of methamphetamine use is the breakdown of tissues and blood vessels. We had to remove his spleen due to a rupture and now his left kidney has been removed because the blood vessels are breaking down. The last I heard he was stable, but he won’t be available for questioning for some time.”
The lieutenant nodded. “We’ll stay at the hospital if you don’t mind, Dr. Davenport. Your patient is a wanted felon.”
“Of course, Lieutenant. Currently, the cafeteria is offering free food and drinks for everyone stranded here. Please make yourselves at home and as soon as he’s in Recovery we’ll page you. In the state he’s in, he won’t be going far.”
“Thank you, Dr. Davenport.”
Zac left the meeting room and returned the chart to the unit desk. The emergency room was eerily quiet. And as he walked to the ambulance bay door the snow was still falling heavily. A couple of interns wearing Manhattan Mercy jackets were outside, shoveling away mounds of snow from outside the doors.
It was dusk and even though you couldn’t see the sun behind the thick clouds, the small amount of light was dissipating and the street-lamps gave off a warm glow through the thick swirling snow. It was almost magical.
It was peaceful and calm.
Zac closed his eyes and did his deep breathing, trying to calm the erratic beat of his heart. Only it wasn’t working. He headed toward the on-call rooms. He had to find Ella, had to talk to her.
And he was angry that he was so dependent on her. He didn’t deserve her. He didn’t deserve her kindness or her pity. Not after what he’d done to her when he’d been a brash, foolish idiot. As he walked, the power flickered again.
A brow
nout.
Charles had said the Upper West Side was without power. The generator system was new. Still, that didn’t calm the erratic beating of his heart.
The hall that he was walking down was flooded in darkness.
Dammit.
He found the wall. The wall was his anchor and his blood thundered in his ears. He closed his eyes to the darkness, his ears completely sensitive to the sounds around him, even though the hallway was quiet and no one was around.
Instead he focused on the distinctive hum of silence and the hospital coming back to life again after the generators kicked in.
When light pricked his eyelids, he opened them and took another deep breath. He’d thought he had this licked. He’d thought he could control it, but he’d been so wrong.
And he was terrified over the way it was controlling him.
The way it had a hold on his life.
He was angry, because he didn’t want to let it defeat him. So, instead of heading to the on-call room, he started to run, to jog along the empty hospital hallways, letting the endorphins from exercise flood his body with much-needed dopamine.
He could conquer this. He would conquer this.
* * *
Ella only managed to sleep for an hour before she was paged to the emergency room. She was surprised to learn that Zac hadn’t responded to his page.
It was exactly what she’d been afraid of. He’d had a spell and was incapacitated somewhere.
“How long have you tried paging him, Jen?” Ella asked as she took another sip of coffee.
“Just twenty minutes,” Dr. Lynne said. “There was an influx of patients that needed some further assessment.”
Ella was going to say something else when Zac came up to the unit desk. He looked out of breath, his face flushed.
“Sorry, I was changing the battery in my pager,” he said breathlessly. “I got here as quickly as I could.”
“The battery?” Ella asked.
“It died when I checked to see if there were any pages. I had to get a new battery pack,” Zac answered, not looking at her as he took a chart from Dr. Lynne. “Thanks, Jen.”
“Make sure you get someone from Tech to check that out,” she said. “It shouldn’t have died.”
Dr. Lynne backed away and Zac just scrolled through the notes on the tablet, without looking at her.
“Zac, they woke me up because they couldn’t find you.”
“I know. I’m sorry. I will get it checked out. It’s working again and I’m here now so you can go back to sleep.” He pushed past her, not looking her in the eye.
She suspected something else.
“Zac, did you have a PTSD episode?”
“No, I was unreachable for fifteen minutes while I changed the battery. I’m sorry they woke you.”
“You’re pushing me away again. Why don’t you admit that you had a PTSD attack?”
Zac’s spine stiffened and he fixed her with an icy glare. “I didn’t have a PTSD attack. I was cleared for duty. Let it go.”
“If you were cleared for duty, why did you leave the navy? You loved the navy.”
“I was honorably discharged, Ella. I served my tours of duty and I wanted to return home. Now, if you don’t mind, I have patients to see.”
She stepped in front of him and whispered under her breath, “Are you capable of caring for those patients? I seriously question it.”
“Why?”
“Because you won’t talk about it.”
“Ella, you’re treading on dangerous ground,” he said in a low voice.
All she wanted him to do was admit that he’d had a PTSD attack so that she could help him. “I just want to help you.”
“I don’t need help.” Zac walked away from her and she cursed under her breath. How could she have been so daft as to think he would want help. That he’d changed.
He was a Davenport through and through.
That’s not fair. You respect his siblings.
It was only Zac who completely infuriated her. They had been best friends once, before they’d hit puberty, then things had changed.
She had become a bit of a hot mess that her mother had dressed atrociously while he’d flourished and run with the popular crowd.
She took a seat behind the unit desk and manned the phones, since she wasn’t on duty and she should actually be resting, but right now she had enough adrenaline and caffeine pumping through her that she couldn’t sleep if she wanted to.
The phone connecting to emergency services rang and she picked it up. “Manhattan Mercy.”
“We have incoming trauma. Multi-vehicle crash. The hospital near the crash site is overflowing. We’re bringing them in via helicopter.”
“What’s the ETA?” Ella asked.
“Five minutes out.”
“We’ll be ready.” Ella hung up the phone and then motioned to Dr. Trace, who was lingering.
“Yes, Dr. Lockwood?” Ryan asked.
“Grab an intern and let’s get to the roof. There’s a chopper landing.”
Dr. Trace’s eyebrows shot up. “In this weather? I thought there was a no-fly order.”
“It’s been lifted for now. Which is good because there’s a multi-vehicle crash on the bridge and the closest hospital is overflowing. They have to fly the injured to Manhattan.”
“Right away, Dr. Lockwood.”
Ella’s stomach twisted and she wondered if it was going to be Penny Davenport flying the helicopter again. She’d gotten in so much trouble from Charles the last time she’d flown in a storm.
She grabbed a jacket from the closet and Dr. Trace came over to her, carrying a stretcher with an intern. They took the patient transport elevator up to the roof. The whole time Ella prayed that the power wouldn’t go out.
As far as she knew, the tech specialists were still working on it. Even though there were fluctuations in the city’s power grid, the new generator was handling the storm better than last time.
The doors opened and the air was bitterly cold, whipping at her face. Because of the high winds, the helipad was clear of snow.
This was dangerous, but the patients had to get in.
Ella prayed the snow would die down and the helicopter could see the flashing lights and land safely. The wind did die down and she was able to hear the whirr of the helicopter as it hovered above Manhattan Mercy. She watched with bated breath as it landed with a tiny bump on the helipad.
The blades stopped, the door opened and Dr. Gabriel Jackson jumped out.
Ella motioned to Dr. Trace, while the intern remained behind in the elevator. They wheeled the stretcher over and Ella saw Penny in the pilot’s seat as Gabriel helped them load the patient onto the stretcher.
“I thought Charles gave her heck for flying before?”
“He did,” Gabriel shouted over the wind. “But she’s the best at these crazy landings so she was given the all-clear. This patient was a pedestrian walking when he was struck by a car and fell in the Hudson River. Very lucky to retrieve him. Suffering from hyperthermia and blunt force trauma. Was resuscitated on scene and intubated.”
Ella nodded. “Thanks. Be safe!”
Gabriel nodded while Ella and Dr. Trace pushed the stretcher to the safety of the elevator. Once the helicopter took off and was safely in the air again, the elevator door shut. The patient’s vitals were slipping again as Ella assessed him.
They had to keep him warm, but she had to elevate the patient and check what damage had been done by the blunt force trauma.
Once the elevator stopped at the emergency room floor, Zac was waiting for her.
“Don’t tell me it was my sister who was flying the helicopter,” he said.
“I won’t, then,” Ella responded stonily.
&n
bsp; Dr. Trace jumped into action, grabbing as many blankets from the blanket warmer as he could.
Zac, Ella and the intern lifted the patient from the stretcher to the exam table.
“His temperature is dangerously low,” Zac remarked as he grabbed the warming blankets from Dr. Trace and worked to remove the cold wet clothing and blankets from the patient and then wrap the trunk of the patient’s body in the warm blankets.
“He has hypothermia.” Ella assessed his ABCs. Already she knew that the patient’s airway was compromised as there was a tube down his throat. As she listened to his chest, she could hear fluid. “Suspected pneumothorax. I need to insert a chest tube.”
As Zac and Dr. Trace worked on wrapping the patient up the best they could, Ella inserted a chest tube, allowing the free fluid to drain out.
Once the chest tube was secured, they wrapped more warm blankets around him. His temperature began to rise slowly and his readings stabilized.
“We have to get him down to CT and see what damage was done,” Ella said.
“I’ll take him, Dr. Lockwood,” Dr. Trace said.
“Thank you, Ryan.” Ella stepped back and let Dr. Trace take point. “Make sure the patient’s temperature doesn’t rise too fast, we don’t want the body to go into shock especially if there’s internal bleeding.”
“Yes, Dr. Lockwood.” Ella and Zac stepped back to let Dr. Trace and the interns take over while they waited until the results of the CT came up.
“Did you talk to Penny?” Zac asked, breaking the silence that fell between them as Ella charted in the patient’s information.
“No, she didn’t get out of the cockpit.”
Zac nodded and she couldn’t help but think about Penny’s pregnancy announcement after Charles’s wedding. How Penny and Gabriel would make great parents. In fact, she was a bit envious.
It’s not that she never wanted to get married, she just didn’t want to feel pressured to get married. Her mother’s constant lamenting of her single state was annoying, but seeing the other Davenports settling down, her peers having it all, made her think about what she’d always secretly wanted with Zac, before he’d broken her heart.