Being so lost in the lecture was troubling, but seeing Kiva, Jena, and Poole keeping up made it worse; it really was a problem that was only his.
His mother would be embarrassed.
Two hours later, they moved to a larger classroom for the first Regular Lecture, shared with the rest of the pilots. For this class, they were joined by the military member of their crew: in Ezra’s case, it was Kat.
Kat’s presence was both welcome and not; he appreciated the presence of someone who was there to support him. However, he was afraid of appearing too ignorant; she might lose any respect she had for him, and that could have terrible effects in their relationship and his performance as a student and a pilot.
The full roster of active pilots, which he hadn’t seen isolated until then, was a total of ten; this included Specialist Angela Howard-King, whose Creux was currently recovering from damage taken in battle.
The class, called On-Field Tactics, was imparted mostly by Garros with Alice’s support. Garros was a self-proclaimed tactical genius who understood the behavior of the laani Flecks and Flashes better than anyone else who remained active in Zenith. It was amazing how he could transform from the dumb, drunken monster Ezra had met two nights prior to a man of genuine intellectual authority.
After the lecture, which Ezra could follow without much of a problem, Garros assigned two short books to Ezra, Kiva, Jena, and Poole so they could familiarize themselves with the basic tactical theory. It was a good thing; seeing Garros and Alice explain the newly designed tactics made him feel like they were speaking a whole other language.
Ezra was happy he had followed Garros’ class better than he had followed Dr. Mizrahi’s or Alice’s, but that comfort vanished when Garros ended the class with: “Crescent, Blanchard, Poole, Davenport—you’re going to take a test at the end of the week covering the two books I assigned. Your military crewmember is very familiar with it, so feel free to ask for their help. We’re done for today; see you all on Wednesday.”
After Tactics, they were given an hour to have lunch, which they shared in the dining room with what seemed like the entirety of Zenith’s personnel. The crewmembers who had joined them for Tactics shared their table. Whereas Jena’s and Poole’s—a man and a woman respectively—were excited about their first days as official Creux crewmembers, Kat was yet to speak unless spoken to. She was very serious about her job and seemed to have no interest in anyone, not even Ezra, beyond her duties.
Kiva’s crew was missing. Much like Kat, he hadn’t spoken much outside of class. Ezra wondered exactly what was going on with him and his Creux, but when asked, he would dismiss the situation as nothing, saying “It’s just this whole thing.”
Everyone knew he was lying, and that something was deeply troubling him.
“How did you feel?” Jena asked Ezra. “In class.”
“I was okay in History, very okay in Tactics; hopelessly lost in Virology.”
“I thought you would be; it wasn’t very basic,” she said. “I couldn’t follow a word Garros said. Did you really understand all that about the orders and shifting patterns and queen-koonts, and—”
“Quincunx. It’s a pattern, like the ‘five’ face on dice,” Ezra corrected her, and looked at the ever-silent Kat for validation. She smiled and nodded; he thought she almost looked proud. “It’s just an attack formation.”
“I didn’t get much of that either,” Kiva admitted. “Good to know one of us kept up.”
“I got it,” Poole said, mouth full of breaded meat. “It’s not so hard.”
“Well maybe we can help each other out. I’ll help you with the biology stuff—I mean, we’ll help you,” she said and looked at Kiva with a smile. “And you can explain the stuff we don’t understand.”
“Why? You have one crewmember who is an expert on either field, science or tactics. They can be your support! It’s their job.” Poole said, trying to sound calm, but failing. “I don’t see why you need to rely on one another like that.”
“Actually,” Kat spoke up for the first time. “Though I’d be happy to help Second Private Blanchard with any help he needs, the instructors here generally prefer the pilots to support each other as an exercise. It helps develop listening skills, coaching techniques, and especially trust. These are things you cannot pick up in a classroom. If you can, Private First Class Poole, it’s my recommendation that you take part in it.”
Ezra smiled. Once more, it was pleasing to see Poole being put in her place. He had grown to like her more, especially after she had so openly made a request for his friendship, but there was some leftover bitterness about her that he didn’t like. “Thank you,” he told Kat.
When they were almost done with their meal, Garros and Alice joined them to monitor their first day as trainees in Zenith, but didn’t stay. It became clear to Ezra that the first two days there, when everything seemed so peaceful and everyone so calm had been fairly irregular; Zenith was, in reality, a very busy place.
“By the way, Crescent, your father will be here in about two hours. You can use your Study Hall time to go visit him,” said Alice.
“Ma’am, thank you very much,” Jena said, and it seemed to Ezra like she might cry. Kiva grabbed her hand with affection that was definitely romantic—or maybe just to Ezra’s jealous eyes.
“He’ll be okay,” Alice said. “And Ezra? About the compatibility tests with Susan, for her transfer. You won’t need to take them after all.”
“Ma’am?”
“My word was stronger than I thought. Susan will be transferred here tonight. You’ll have your first session with her on Wednesday, and again on Friday.”
Ezra smiled, thinking about how amazing it was that things were just falling into place for him. It was like fate was paving his way to happiness and success. “Thank you very much, ma’am.”
Alice winked and followed Garros to another table to finish their meal and continue what appeared to be a very heated discussion—something that wasn’t casual; none of the pilots involved seemed to be taking part in the conversation for leisure.
“You’re going to regret that, Ezra Blanchard,” Poole said, taking a sip of tea.
“What’s your problem with Susan?” Jena asked her.
“None of yours,” Poole replied.
Hand still on Jena’s, Kiva’s eyes remained on Poole, silently watching her, hoping to understand the girl that was still quite a puzzle to all three of them.
After lunch there was another Entry Lecture. This one was imparted by Dr. Yuri, and this time the crewmember who joined Ezra was Dr. Mustang. The class, simply called The Creux, attempted to explain the Creuxen insofar as they could be explained considering the limitations of humanity’s understanding of them.
Their origin could still not be determined, but studies made on the outer shells suggested that their construction was made many, many years before they were found.
“I explained when you first set foot on Zenith that the first Creux to be discovered was First Silver, found by an old homeless woman in a forgotten area of Roue, and excavated by Dr. Julian Mizrahi, may he rest in peace, in the year 504 AF. After that, two years later, came Milos Ravana.” He looked at Kiva. “After that, it was Phantom Lance eight months later. Since then, twenty-six Creux have been excavated, the newest one, Neon Indra, being discovered over four years ago—that longest gap between Creuxen we’ve had.”
“Maybe there’s none left,” Jena said.
“A possibility,” Dr. Yuri said. “But it’s more likely that we haven’t looked in the right place; after all, we’ve covered a small percentage of the world’s surface.”
“Have there been any Creuxen found in other cities?” asked Kiva.
“What other cities?”
Kiva couldn’t answer. Ezra looked at Dr. Armstrong, who was pained by the memory of Kerek’s fall.
“I assure you, kids, it’s more frustrating to us than it is to you, but the fact is that our greatest weapon in the battle against the laani
might have never been meant for us to find. But this whole place was built to explore the origin of the Creux and use what we learn to win back our planet. It’s the only hope we have in the face of extinction.”
The lecture went on for two hours, and the more Dr. Yuri talked, the more Ezra began to like him. Though the man’s demeanor was off-putting and strange, he convinced Ezra that he kept no secrets; all he knew, he would share, because there was no reason to hide information from the pilots.
However, throughout the whole lecture, which barely began to cover the fundamentally intriguing topic of the Creux, Dr. Yuri avoided speaking directly of Milos Ravana and its gray history, maybe out of respect for Akiva, who was fated to pilot it.
He ended the lecture with the explanation of a concept Alice had brought up during their welcoming celebration, but Ezra had forgotten.
“Assimilation,” Dr. Yuri said. “Assimilation is a word everyone in Zenith is under silent agreement to respect. We have lost eleven Creux pilots since Zenith was created: seven of them have died while piloting the Creux.”
“Sir?” Ezra raised his hand. “I was told piloting Besoe Nandi would be done remotely. I was shown a capsule inside the bay. How could it—”
“Nandi and the others are piloted from the Egg,” he agreed. “Though the Egg itself remains within the confines of the docking chamber while the Creux is deployed, that doesn’t mean you will be safe.”
Ezra felt a drop of armpit sweat roll down his side.
“I don’t mean to scare you on your first day, but Assimilation is something you should be afraid of. The science behind the Creux and the synchronization process between pilot and machine is still mostly beyond our understanding. We don’t know why it works, but we know how, if to a limited capacity. When you pilot your Creux, you will leave your body to inhabit your machine’s. You will see through its eyes. Move its body through your commands. You will commune with it.”
No. No, I don’t want—not Nandi . . .
“When you pilot, you will leave your body behind. You will feel like you’re not a human being anymore, but an amalgamation of man and machine. Your mind might wander, but it must never do that, so it must be trained. You must never forget who you are and what you are. You must always be aware that you are Ezra Blanchard, Jena Crescent, Vivian Poole, Creux Pilots from Zenith. You’re not Besoe Nandi, Jade Arjuna, or Rose Xibalba. If you forget, if the machine wins—”
“No,” Ezra whimpered.
“You will be gone,” he said. “Only shreds of you will be left inside the Egg.”
Chapter 8
A New Skin
He would never forget the last words Dr. Yuri spoke during his first lecture, and his memory of them became worse when he learned that there had been no hyperbole or exaggeration: they had been quite literal.
“It was just last year. I opened Nisi Nirvana’s Egg after Juliana went silent,” Alice shared during Saturday lunch, two days after Dr. Yuri’s lecture when Ezra made the mistake of mentioning assimilation. Alice took a moment to speak every sentence; it was a story not easily remembered and one very rarely told. “The water inside had become red with her blood—there were only strands of her hair left. Some pieces of . . . skin, or something. I don’t know, she was just . . . gone. She was the CDSL back then, the one who welcomed and inducted me and Garros. So bright and strong but—Nirvana took her.”
Ezra and Kiva were the only ones sitting at the table at the time, and both were horrified by the story, and how much it affected Alice.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be telling you all of this; you’re not likely to experience anything like it anytime soon.” She spoke with confidence, but Ezra couldn’t take her at face value. “How was the test? Tactics. I saw you four didn’t get much sleep studying a few nights ago.”
“We don’t know; Garros probably won’t tell us until next class. Monday,” said Kiva.
“Ah, Garros won’t tell you ever,” she said, looking away, toward the table where Garros sat together with Erin and their respective crewmembers, discussing something over a big chart sprawled on the table.
“Ma’am?”
“He doesn’t grade tests. He makes you study so you can keep up, but there aren’t grades you need to get with him. I was asking how you felt you did; you’re not likely to know for sure.”
“That—No, I don’t like that,” said Kiva. “What kind of pointless—”
“Makes sense to me,” interjected Ezra with a shrug, eyes on the bald, bearded man, the subject of their conversation. “I’m sure you’ll be able to follow his class better now. We memorized two books worth of information.”
“I’m sorry but I’m not okay not getting a grade. I need it to gauge my own learning. Jena would agree,” Kiva said and got up, intent on getting a talk with Garros.
“Dammit—Davenport, come here,” Alice said. “If you want to know so badly I’ll look for the exam. It really doesn’t matter; I know you studied.”
“It matters to me,” Kiva grumbled and sat back down, but Garros had noticed him going his way before Alice’s intervention. From the first day, when Kiva refused to drink the shake, it was clear to Ezra that Garros didn’t like Kiva, if only on a personal level. In class, all his students were equals; outside the classroom or the battlefield, Ezra didn’t expect he’d ever see them sharing their time or their minds with each other.
Ezra was friends with both and didn’t want conflict between the two.
“Where’s Jena, anyway?” Alice asked Kiva.
“With her dad,” he replied. “She’s spent every free minute she’s had with him.”
“Can’t blame her,” Susan said, suddenly appearing behind Kiva. “I don’t think he’s going to be around much longer. Now that he’s seen his daughter taken care of, he’ll feel better about letting go. Pneumastratis patients never last this long.”
“Corporal Higgins,” Alice said, getting up to greet her friend. “How have you found Zenith?”
“Zenith becomes me,” Susan responded and smiled at Ezra. “Are you ready for a Counseling session later today, Ezra?”
“Yes, but I’m a bit nervous about what comes before,” Ezra said. His first week in Zenith was almost at an end, and after those first five days, which were still a blurry haze, the real training would begin. He’d start Creux Simulation.
“Don’t be scared,” Alice said. “You’ll be surprised by how fun it is.”
“With all due respect, ma’am, you just shared the story of a pilot who was physically assimilated into her Creux,” said Ezra. “I think I have some right to be nervous—even scared.”
Susan looked at Alice, worried, and mouthed a word to her, and Alice nodded sadly.
Ezra could tell the word was ‘Juliana?’
“I did and I’m sorry. But Creux Simulation will not involve the Egg. You’ll get into a suit—think of it as a costume—and prance around an arena learning how to walk again. It’s fun.”
Ezra had imagined that Susan’s description of Creux Simulation had been a blunt and dumb oversimplification of a complex activity, but after being fitted into his suit, he found out Susan had described Creux Simulation perfectly.
The class took place in yet another area of Zenith Ezra hadn’t visited: the Training Arena. Located roughly at the opposite end of the Creux Docking Bay, it was a field about the same size as the sports pitch where he had been hazed during his first morning. Much like the pitch, there were small bleachers on one of the sides for spectators and instructors.
Ezra, Jena, Poole, and Kiva took a seat inside a classroom located behind the bleachers. There they had found Dr. Eliza Mizrahi, Alice, and their crewmembers.
“Welcome to your first session of Creux Simulation,” Dr. Mizrahi said. “This will be your first two hours of training in the Equivalency Suit. Starting next Monday you will add twelve hours per week, adjusting according to proficiency, until the end of the month. Then, after a test, you will join the rest of the pilots in their own adept s
essions so you can learn how to control your Creux as efficiently as possible. Creux Simulation will be taught by different teachers according to the individual purpose of each lesson, but most often by First Lieutenant Alice Nolan, Specialist Garros Parks, Specialist Erin Perry, or myself. You will be supported by one or two of your crewmembers at all times.
“If you wish to schedule a non-curricular training session, you will do it with either me or First Lieutenant Nolan, with a day’s notice, and under the supervision of a superior. The presence of one or two of your crewmembers is mandatory.”
The way she spoke these words, without any of the strange usual idiosyncrasies of her speech made Ezra feel like they were scripted, and had been said word-for-word many times before.
Alice took Mizrahi’s place in the front of the classroom. “All right, let’s begin. The hours you spend in the field outside are going to be the most important ones of your training in Zenith. Without these simulations, you will never be able to properly synchronize or even control your Creux, much less perform in any field operation. Here is how it works. . .”
Thus began Alice’s hour-long explanation of the basic way in which the Creux was piloted. Though she was confident in her domain over the topic, she’d often turn to Mizrahi for intellectual support, which the doctor would promptly provide.
“Dr. Yuri Logan went through this during his first and second lectures this week. It’s a complex subject you’re more likely to understand through experience, and your first synchronization tests are less than a month away, but here’s what you need to know right now: when you synchronize with the Creux, your body will be naked inside the Cardinal’s Egg in a state not unlike sleep. When you pilot, you will not be seeing through a HUD. You will not find yourself in a cockpit. Your mind will inhabit your Creux.”
Ezra felt the tiny monsters clawing at his stomach again.
“You will see through your Creux’s eyes. The movement of your arms and legs will be the movement of your Creux’s arms and legs. This means you will control a body that is entirely new to you—one that functions under completely different rules of motion and mobility, and in dimensions your brain has never before experienced. Do you understand?”
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