“I have, but between the license and permits, the insurance, hiring employees, the startup costs alone would sink me. I’m barely scraping by now.”
“If you ever do something like that, let me know. I’ll make some calls to the Times. We had catered events occasionally, and I’m sure my old boss wouldn’t mind helping you out.”
“I thought he retired.”
“That old fart. He keeps saying he is, but he hasn’t done it yet.” She shovels another bite of pancake into her mouth. “Mmm, so good.”
“I’ll think about it. I’d need a commercial kitchen and—” My eyes widen. “Oh, I need to make a list.”
A grin stretches across her face. “Of course, if you thought about moving to Philly, I could set you up with Citizens Bank Park.”
“Ha-ha, nice try. I’m not sure Carl would go for me moving. Although I wouldn’t mind leaving the city. The kids and I went—” I stop because I haven’t told her about Jax’s visit.
“Where’d you go?”
Before I answer, Tommy lets out a big yell, buying me some time. Thanks, kid.
“What are your plans for Thanksgiving?” I switch topics while Lacey refills Tommy’s sippy cup.
“We’re going to my parents’.”
“What? How did this happen?” Lacey’s family disowned her when they found out she was pregnant and planned on raising the child on her own.
“Last weekend. They called and want us to visit.”
“Out of the blue?”
“Pretty much. They were watching the World Series and saw us on the field afterward.” She shrugs. “It must’ve got them thinking.”
“Wow. That’s so great.”
“I guess, but Thanksgiving will be awkward as heck.”
“How did last weekend’s visit go?”
“For the most part, good. Grandpa was great. Zach and he got reacquainted, but my parents…they’re harder. I’m trying to move forward, but there’s an invisible wedge between us.” She goes back to eating. “At least for me.”
“It has to be tough.”
“They were great with the kids, but they’ve missed so much with Zoe. It’s hard to forget and let go, but I’m trying.”
“I’m glad they finally reached out to you. It’s long overdue.” I never understood how callous and cruel they were toward her. Still don’t today. I did my best to be supportive of her through that time, and I’ll never forget how much they hurt her.
“What are your Thanksgiving plans? Are you cooking? Making any extra pies that will need to find a home?”
“Sorry, no cooking here. This is Carl’s holiday to have the kids.” Not being able to spend the day with them still bums me out. My reprieve is spending the day with Jax, but I’ll miss them.
“You’re spending it alone?” She says the word alone as if it’s a crime.
I hesitate. Telling her about Jax would be the amicable thing to do, but I know her. She’ll press for more information, and I’m not sure what there is to tell, yet. But she is my best friend. “I—”
“Mommy, Mommy, look!” Trenna runs into the kitchen carrying her doll. “Look what we did. Isn’t she pretty.”
My jaw drops. What was a beautiful baby doll has now been transformed into something unrecognizable. Thick black lines circle each eye while blue marks shade the eyelids clear to the forehead. Red squiggly lines, which I assume represent lipstick, cover the mouth clear to the chin. The doll looks like it feasted at the blood bank.
“Wow, that’s uh…”
“Oh, my… Zoe, sweetheart? Did you do that?” Lacey’s as dumbfound as me.
“Yeah, we both did! She’s purty, isn’t she?”
Lacey turns her horror-stricken face to me and mouths, “Sorry.”
“Trenna, where did the markers come from?” There are no permanent markers in this house.
“Jax gave them to me. He found them at his house and said I could draw with them.”
Lacey’s eyebrows shoot to the top of her hairline. “Jax?”
Warmth spreads to my cheeks. “Um, watch Mel, while I retrieve the markers.” I rise and ignore the thousand questions dancing around her brain.
The smirk that greets me when I return isn’t surprising. I place the contraband in a drawer and take a deep breath before facing the arsenal of questions.
“Girl, you’ve been holding out on me.” Her eyes narrow as she tilts her head. “I thought there was something different about you. You’ve been smiling more and seem like your old self. Guess I know the reason now.”
“Stop. But yeah, I ran into him a few times.”
“Really? Just randomly ran into him on the streets of New York City?”
“I know it sounds weird, but he happened to be at two of the places I interviewed for.” I go on to explain how I ended up making his grandma’s birthday cake. Lacey listened, hanging on every detail. “So, he heard me tell his grandma how I’d like to take the kids out of the city, and he ended up taking us to his property upstate.”
“Really?” She leans back in her seat. “Zach told me he hardly ever goes there. He pays someone to look after it even.”
“I got the impression the place brings too many sad memories. But it’s so perfect. We crossed a rusty iron bridge to get there. The two-story home sits up on a hill. God, it reminds me so much of my grandmother’s place. The best part is the land. There is so much space. The kids loved playing there. The cold temperature never even bothered them.”
“Is it serious between you two?”
I hesitate. “I don’t know. We said we were going to give it a go, but how serious can it be?”
“What do you mean?”
“He’s a baseball player, and I’m…a mom.”
“And?”
I laugh somewhat humorlessly. Of course, Lacey doesn’t see a problem with it; she was in the same situation as me. Well, with one substantial difference, Zach’s the father to her child. I’m sure Jax will want his own kids someday. A weight settles on my heart.
“I can’t help but think this is temporary.”
“Ah, but you don’t know that.”
“And he’s been with so many women.”
“You aren’t telling me anything new. And it’s not like Zach was the poster child for sainthood. Celibacy isn’t a term these guys are familiar with. You have to look beyond that. Focus on now. That’s what matters.”
“I suppose you’re right.”
“Did he say you two’d be exclusive?”
“No. We haven’t really discussed terms.”
“Get that established. That way, you don’t have any surprises. Oh my God, I can’t believe you’re together.”
“Neither can I.” But for how long is the question. I stare into the living room at the kids playing. For all our sakes, I hope I’m doing the right thing.
Chapter Fifteen
JAX
Current Day
AJ, Zach, and I take a booth at Arti’s Place—the team’s favorite local hangout pub. It’s a quaint bar, serves decent food, but the owner makes the place. He’s one hell of a stand-up guy. Arti came to the States in his early twenties, is a die-hard Phillies fan, and he takes care of us players. If the crowd gets too large or packed with too many overbearing fans, he directs us to a private room. One with no public access. He’s the main reason we like coming here.
“How my three favorites?” The latter comes out as fav’ritez.
“Shucks, Arti. I bet you say that to all the guys.” AJ chuckles. “Just two weeks ago, you doted over Drake.”
“He’s going to be good, that one. You see.” Arti’s thick and heavy accent reminds me of my papa. Papa’s broken English used to drive me crazy when I was little. Now I miss it.
“Old man, you don’t know what you’re talking about,” AJ grumbles but maintains a casual face. After this season, the team has the option to trade him, and I think they’ll exercise that option. The team knows they have a good catcher in Drake. Not that AJ’s a slacker. H
e’s one of the best, but the upper brass will always do what’s best for the team.
Arti laughs and turns to me. “You should’ve won. You more runs than that joker.”
“Ah, Arti. You give me the feels.” I pound my fist against my chest. “At least it was close.”
“Those people don’t know nothin’.”
“It’s all good. Maybe this year will be better.”
“You better believe it. ’Kay. What we drink, the usual?”
We confirm our order, and Zach and AJ wince when Arti leaves. Neither one has brought up the MVP loss since last night.
“Sorry, man,” Zach says.
“I’m all right. We’ll get them this year.”
“Damn straight.” AJ fist bumps me and then scopes out the bar scene. “Little slow tonight, but check out the hottie to the right.”
A redheaded bombshell sits at the end of the bar, talking to another girl. The hem of her leopard-print dress showcases her short, but athletic, legs. The neckline dips to her waist, revealing a healthy rack. How she’s not spilling out of the dress, I’ll never know. Her bright red lipstick clashes with her hair, but she’s stunning as hell. A little too wild for my taste, but she’s perfect for AJ. He prefers his women a little loud with a side of crazy. He’s brought home some wildcats before. With paper-thin walls, I’ve had to wear my noise-canceling headphones more than I want to admit.
“She’s fucking hot,” Zach says.
“Hell, yeah, she is. You two going to be good sitting here why I go sniff her out?”
“I’m good,” I say.
“Here you boys go.” Arti lays our beers in front of us. “Tonight’s slow, but any problems, come find me.”
“Thanks, Arti.” I grab the beer from him and bring the tip to my mouth.
AJ stands and grabs his bottle. With a slap on Arti’s back, he says, “You’re a good man, but there’s a lonely looking lady over there.”
I glance at his new prospect right as she tips her head back, laughing. You can hear her cackle from here.
“Don’t think she’s too lonely,” Zach says.
Arti shakes his head but chuckles. “You boys keep me young.”
“She only thinks she’s happy. Wait until she meets me. She’ll be fucking ecstatic.” Without another word, AJ cuts to the corner bar and doesn’t waste time getting to know his latest prospect. She gives him a once-over, and by the slow seductive smile tugging her lips, he’s good to go.
And I’m not envious. At all.
For the first time in my adult life, I don’t want a one-night stand. I want more. More hours. More days. More Jocelyn. It’s been six days since I left, and I have to wait for another five before seeing her again.
Fuck, I want her now.
I pull my phone out to check my messages.
“She’s probably half a wine bottle deep with Lacey by now. I doubt she’s sending you texts.”
“I was checking the time.” I slide my phone back into my pocket.
“Uh-huh. Sure.” Zach nudges his chin toward the corner bar. “I think our boy has scored.”
My gaze flicks to AJ, whose muscles are currently being fondled by the redhead. “I’m sure I’ll meet her in our kitchen tomorrow.”
“I feel sorry for you. One day he’s going to bring the wrong girl home.”
“Well, well, well. We meet again,” a sultry voice says.
Zach and I both turn to face a curly-haired platinum blonde. Zach quirks an eyebrow at me, but I shrug nonchalantly. I have no clue who the woman is, but she eyes me as if we’re past lovers.
“It appears.” I rack my brain, trying to place her, but come up blank. I’m sure to have remembered fucking those tits, but still, nothing. And if by chance I did fuck her, asking her name would be hella rude.
“Buy me a drink…for old time’s sake.” She sits beside me and pouts, which I’m sure is to make her seem cute, but I find it rather cringe-worthy. Who the hell is she? Zach stifles a laugh, and it takes great restraint not to kick him under the table.
“I’m sorry, but my girlfriend wouldn’t appreciate me buying other women drinks. Even if we are old friends.” The last word leaves a sour taste in my mouth. I don’t want to piss this girl off, but my past taught me one thing—make sure women know I’m taken. Jocelyn and I haven’t talked exclusivity, but there isn’t anyone else I want. And I won’t lose her over a technicality. Not again.
“Lucky girl.” She forces a smile and leans in next to my ear, her boobs pressing against my chest. “In case things don’t work out, you know where to find me.”
Not a chance. “I’ll keep that in mind.”
She slides out of the booth and winks at Zach before leaving the bar.
“Who the hell was that?” Zach crooks his neck to watch her walk away.
“Not a clue.” She was so adamant I knew her, but she’s not familiar at all.
“I’m impressed.”
“With her?”
“No, dumbass. With you. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you turn down a fine specimen like that since the first semester, freshman year.”
“I’m not fucking up my chances with Jocelyn.” I take a long pull of my beer. Five days before seeing her. It’s going to be a long five days.
Chapter Sixteen
JOCELYN
Current Day
“Son of a—” My jaw clamps tightly to stop the string of curse words itching to release. I toss the curling wand on the bathroom counter and shake my hand vigorously. Did the inventor hate his mother? It has to be designed by a male whose sole purpose is to inflict pain on females. It’s as if he woke up one day and asked, “How can I make women suffer? Oh, I know. Make them wrap their hair around a hot stick. They’re sure to get burned.” Seriously! How do people use this on a regular basis?
Once the pain subsides, I inspect the damage. A pink diagonal line brands the inside of my left index finger. Even though the mark is small, it stings like crazy. I blow out a puff of air. No wonder I don’t curl my hair often. I clearly haven’t mastered everyday beauty skills.
With a shake of my head, I glance back at my reflection. Long, natural-looking curls drape my shoulders perfectly and remind me why I sacrificed my digits.
All for the sake of impressing a man.
Speaking of said man, Jax should be here in—I check the time on my phone—an hour. I place the cell in the side pocket of my skirt and tidy the counter. When everything is spotless, I step into my bedroom and scan for anything out of place. My gaze lands on the bed, and I ignore the sudden flutters taking over my stomach. No kids. No interruptions. Tonight will be perfect. Holy crap, I’m going to have sex tonight.
A stab of guilt clenches my chest at my excitement. Being alone comes with the price of spending Thanksgiving without the kids. It still hasn’t settled well spending the holiday without them, but I haven’t had any alone time with Jax. It would be nice if I could have it both ways.
The doorbell interrupts my thoughts. Someone’s early, I think as I beat a path to the door. My heart pounds with excitement when I reach for the doorknob. Don’t appear overanxious. I take a calming breath and then swing the door open.
“Mommy, guess what? Daddy has surprise.” Trenna stands on the front porch, big-eyed and holding a carryout sack half her size.
My jaw slackens but transforms into a lopsided grin when my gaze darts to Carl. How could it not? Melanie clings to his side, right arm tucking behind his back, head leaning on his chest. Left arm extended, her dainty fingers open and close, a sure sign for me to take her.
“W-w-what’s going on?” My voice crackles like a pubescent boy. I clear my throat and step aside as the twins barge inside.
“Easy, don’t spill the food.” Carl’s stern voice slows the twins’ gait. He passes Mel to me, and when she’s secure in my arms, he gives me a once-over. “You look nice.”
“Thanks, but—”
“Don’t worry. I haven’t forgotten you work tomorrow. The kids are goin
g back home with me when we’re done.”
He plans on staying?
“I’ll get the turkey.” He winks and turns on his heels. Anger rolls through me the farther his legs carry him away. How can he do something so considerate and self-serving at the same time? Him assuming I wouldn’t have plans isn’t the worst part. No. That accolade goes to the gleam in his eyes as if he still has the right to check me out.
“Daddy thought we’d bring Thanksgiving to you, so you’re not by yourself.” The smile on Tristan’s face lightens my annoyance. Carl meant well, I’m sure, but he should’ve called. Like I need to call Jax before he fights the traffic to get here.
“That’s really sweet of you, honey.” I place Melanie in her high chair while Trenna pulls the containers of food from the bags. There’s no leaving now. “Everything smells so good.”
Carl grabs a hot pad and places it under the foil pan.
“Can you watch Mel? I need to make a quick phone call.”
His eyebrow quirks, but nods in agreement. I pull my phone out and quickly hit Jax’s number as I escape to the privacy of my bedroom.
“Hey, Carl surprised me with kids.” My words come out rushed and are met with silence. I pull the phone back to check if the call has dropped. “You there?”
“Yeah. Sorry. The kids are there now?”
“Yeah, they were upset because they thought I was by myself.” The mattress dips beneath me. “Carl brought them back home. Along with food.”
“Okay, I’ll just… I’ll turn around and head back to Nana’s.”
“Jax, I’m so sorry. I feel awful.”
“No, no. No worries. It’s actually sweet they’re concerned.”
“Come by later?” My pulse races, the end of my thumbnail becoming a new chew toy. I’ve crossed into uncharted territory with him, and I can’t predict the outcome. Ten days have passed since he went back to Philly, and as much as I hate to admit it, I miss him. A lot.
“You didn’t think I wouldn’t, did you?”
“I hate to assume.”
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