I would hope their kitchen has updated appliances, but I wouldn’t count on it.
“Well, looky here,” a heavy-set, gray-haired woman says behind the counter that competes with her age. “Georgie, look, it’s little Jocelyn Kennedy.”
A tall, skinny man steps out from the back room, wearing all white with a white apron doused with flour. “Well, I’ll be.”
“Come, come. Tell us how you’ve been.” The woman waves us closer. After a few minutes of catching up, we exit with a couple of sticky pecan rolls and two caffeinated coffees.
“They seem rather nice.”
Jocelyn chuckles. “They are the best. Warm and friendly. That’s Bowling View. But everyone knows your business.”
“Was it weird running into your ex?”
“So fucking weird. He’s changed. Quite a bit.” She smiles back at me. “I thought he was going to bust something when he finally realized who I was with.”
“That the real reason you brought me here? To show off in front of your ex-boyfriend?”
“Hey, coming here was your idea.”
“Oh yeah.” My teasing tone draws a smile, and I place my hand on her warm thigh again as we take off. “What did you think of your future investment?”
She gives me directions before answering. “It’s almost as I remember. Minus the years of wear and tear.”
“It’s quaint.”
“It’s a dive.” She shakes her head as I laugh. “I really don’t want to say that about their life’s work, but to bring it up to today’s standards, my standards, the building needs a lot of work.”
Relief plows through me. “Here?” I point to the oncoming road.
“Yeah. I don’t think it’s in my best interest.”
“I’d support you in whatever you choose to do. You know that, right?”
“Thank you and yes. But that’s not my solution.”
When we arrive at the place she refers to as her sanctuary, I give her a moment to reflect. The meadow overlooks a rocky stream, and the area is as breathtaking as she described. We sit on a large boulder half-covered in moss. As she stares out into the distance, there’s a contentedness, but also a sad, sort of peacefulness to her stare. She’s absolutely mesmerizing. I wrap my arm around her waist and hold her until she turns to face me.
“Thanks for bringing me here. You have no idea what this means to me.”
“I’d give you anything you want.” I reach up and wipe away the lone tear escaping. She flutters her eyelids at me and smiles.
“I love you so much.”
My chest swells. “I love you too. More than you’ll ever possibly know.”
She grabs my hand and laces our fingers together. “It feels good being back here. I came here a lot before heading off to college. It’s was such a sad time in my life. I had lost my boyfriend and best friend. Then a month later, I lost Grammie. I almost didn’t go to Penn State.” She leans back and looks at me. “Did I ever tell you that?”
“No.” My response is low because hearing about her past pain is unsettling. I hate seeing her hurt.
“I was all set to go, but when everything went down, I was going to cop out and go to the local junior college. Then one day, I was sitting out here, and a large hawk flew by. Don’t ask me why I saw the significance in that one; I saw birds all the time. But it must’ve been the wingspan that jarred my grandma’s words. So, I went back home and told my parents I was going. Luckily, they never canceled and had paid my first semester’s tuition. All I missed was half of orientation week.”
When I think of all the near misses we had and what finally brought us together, I’m struck with appreciation. “God, I’m glad you changed your mind. My life would be so incomplete without you in it.”
She stands and tugs me off the rock. “Come on. We have a way before the brook widens.”
We follow the path along the brook, walking hand in hand. After a long stretch of silence, she looks into the far distance and sighs. “Do you ever think the universe is against us being together?”
“It seems that way, doesn’t it?”
“Sometimes.”
I stop walking and draw her near me. “I think our relationship is like this stream—rocky with twist and turns. But look beyond the bend.” Her gaze follows the direction the creek bed takes. “The riverbed opens to smoother waters. I wish I could solidify our future right here and now. Lord knows, I want to, and believe me, I have plans for us. But you still need to get used to this lifestyle. It’s not easy.”
“I’m finding out.” She leans her head on my chest. “The biggest reservation I had was that I couldn’t give you children. I think my fear of you leaving when you found out kept me from fully committing. Not so much for another woman, but for one who could give you what I couldn’t.”
“Dixie, even if I could have children, there isn’t anyone I’d rather be with. You’re it for me.”
“I can handle the time apart.” She looks up at me and grins. “I can even handle the cleat chasers. I mean, what can I expect. You are the hottest baseballer.”
“God, I love you.” I don’t give her time to respond as I pull her in for a kiss. When we break apart, I look down at her. Her flushed face and swollen lips are as beautiful as the setting. “You know I’m never letting you go, right?”
“Words I’ve heard before, Carrigan.”
“Seriously, that last month we spent apart was pure torture. It did make me realize something though.”
“What’s that?”
“Without you and the kids in my life, I’m nothing. You made me miss a life I never knew I wanted. Promise me one thing. If anything bothers you, you’ll ask me directly about it. I can’t lose you ever again.”
“I promise. It wasn’t exactly rainbows and unicorns for me either.”
I take her lips one more time because, damn, I love this woman. And she’s mine. I wasn’t kidding when I told her I have plans for us. I just have to bide my time until the season ends. But we’ll have a more solid foundation this go-around.
We head back to her parents’ house where we begin our life over again, but it will be the last start over. I guarantee it.
.
Epilogue
JAX
Four Months Later
When we cross the rusty iron gate bridge, those reservations that surface every time I visit my childhood home remain at bay. I can only attribute it to the woman sitting next to me. She breathes fresh air back into my lungs. I’ll always mourn my parents, but I know they would’ve loved Jocelyn. And having her beside me lessens the sting.
I squeeze her leg, covered by jeans. I miss the days of summer when her skin is exposed, but she still feels incredible beneath my palm. She’ll always feel incredible.
“Are you nervous about the MVP awards this year?” Jocelyn takes a swig of her lemon water and places it back in its holder.
“More so this year than last.” I glance over at her. “I think more is riding on it this year. Like people’s expectations are higher.”
“You had a killer season. God, it was exciting watching you guys take the championship. I can’t believe it was just last week. Back-to-back wins.” She shakes her head like she can’t believe it. Which isn’t a far stretch, I can’t believe it either. “That’s such an awesome accomplishment.”
“Thanks, the core of our team is great. We couldn’t have done it if we didn’t have the same crew.”
“It’s nice Zach is having us over for the announcement.”
“Maybe, but that could be why I’m more anxious. Last year, it was just AJ and me in our apartment. There wasn’t a crowd to cheer or be disappointed in me.”
“Jax, they’re not going to be disappointed in you, just the outcome. But your chances are better this year.”
“Gee”—I turn to face her—“I wonder why that is?”
“Your awesome support group.” She glances toward the back, where the kids are sitting.
“There’s more truth
to that than you know.” I pull into the drive and eye the weather-beaten two-story home. It’s going to need a lot of renovating to bring it up to specs, but it will be worth it in the end. That is, if Jocelyn is up for it. As of now, she has no clue of my plan.
She takes a deep breath, and a dreamy look crosses her face when she takes in the house. After seeing her grandmother’s property, I understand why she feels at peace when she comes here. The two homes are eerily similar in structure and setup.
“Can we play some baseball, later?” Tristan asks from the back seat.
“I want to go to the creek.” Trenna crosses her arms and pouts as Tristan starts to protest.
“We can do both things, but we have to eat lunch first.” Jocelyn gives them a pointed look.
A couple of groans later, we’re standing on the back porch. I grab the picnic basket and then Jocelyn’s hand.
“Ew, you’re not going to kiss again, are you?” Tristan asks, making a gagging sound, when I pull Jocelyn next to me.
“Here, take this on in, I have something I need to say to your mom.” I hand the food basket to him.
“They’re going to kiss again,” Trenna says as she rolls her eyes. When did they get so observant? Or so big? She takes Mel’s hand and walks her inside.
Kid and basket free, I wrap my arms around Jocelyn’s waist and summon my courage. “I have a confession.”
“Yeah?”
“I may have had an ulterior motive to get you out here.”
“Okay.” Her eyebrows may scrunch together with suspicious curiosity, but the trust peering from her eyes grounds me to my spot. This woman has no idea how fast she makes my heart race or how quickly she could bring me to my knees.
“If you don’t like this idea of mine, it’s okay. You can shoot the plan down anytime.” Please don’t.
“Now I’m intrigued.” Her eyes hold a sparkle that I hope remains long after I reveal my intentions.
My gaze dips to those plump lips coated with a pink sheen. Shiny and wet, they look so kissable. So, edible. And as if she reads my mind, they part in invitation. Unable to restrain myself, I attack, angling my mouth over hers and pushing my tongue forward. She tastes like lemons—refreshing and vibrant—and the flavor drives me insane with want. I may dominate the kiss with soft, teasing strokes, but Jocelyn owns me. All of me.
I slide my hands down the curves of her hips and pull her closer, which draws the sexiest moan that vibrates down to my groin. My fingertips work their way back along her spine, and the relaxation of every muscle as she practically melts into me about pushes me over the edge. Fuck, I’ll do whatever this woman tells me to do. All she has to do is ask.
Her fingers weave through my hair, and the chill zipping through me has nothing to do with the late autumn air. I squeeze her tighter still, basking in the glory that this amazing woman is mine.
“Mommy, Mommy, Tristan won’t let me… Ew, I knew you were going to kiss.” Trenna’s mock disgust echoes outside.
I release Jocelyn’s body and back away much to her disappointment. I’m glad I still have the same effect on her as she does me.
“What’s wrong, sweetie?” Jocelyn’s breathless and her face is flushed, but she manages to address her daughter.
“He’s hogging the basket and won’t let me help.”
“Tell him he won’t get to play catch with Jax if he doesn’t share.”
Trenna spins around and beats a path back inside as she yells at Tristan. Her voice cuts off by the slam of the back door screen.
“Never a dull moment.” She shakes her head with a bemused smile.
No there isn’t. And that’s not a bad thing. Not at all.
“Come on.” I grab her hand, ready to take the first step of our future. When we enter the kitchen, she spies the architectural prints on the kitchen island. Her body stiffens.
“What’s this?”
“I know you want to move out of the city someday, and I just happen to have a house.”
She turns to me, her eyes wide. “What are you saying, Jax?”
“I would love nothing more than to have you stay here with me.” It’s not quite a proposal, but I hope it works for now.
“You really want that? Us living with you? But you live in Philly.”
“It’s not ideal, I know. I’ll have to stay in Philly during the season. But when school is out, you can spend the summer with me there. That is, if you want.”
Her eyes glisten as she turns back to the plans. She steps closer and runs a hand over the print.
“I have a contractor who’s ready to start. But I wanted him to discuss options with you first. You’ll have full control over everything. My only request is for you to be here.”
“I-I don’t even know what to say.”
I step closer to her right as she turns on her heels, and bam, searing pain radiates from the jaw, outward. Son of a—
“Oh my God, Jax. I’m so sorry.”
My shoulders quake as I rub my chin. “Sometimes I forget how clumsy you are, Dixie.”
Her hand covers her mouth, attempting to stop her laughter. Her eyes, wet with unshed tears, shine up at me. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s only pain. I’ve endured worse.” I draw her close to me. And the entire picture becomes as clear as the diamond I have the jeweler working on—Jocelyn flitting around the kitchen, in the height of her glory. I have everything I want. My eyes flash toward the dining room, where the kids are busy placing the food on the table. Scratch that, I have more than I ever dreamed possible. “Marry me.”
Her mouth drops open and she stares up at me, eyelids fluttering. I didn’t mean to ask yet, but I want her to know how much she means to me. How much the kids mean to me.
“I’m serious. When I picture our future together, all I see are you and the kids. Marry me.”
“Jaxon, you know I will.”
Jocelyn, the kids, and I gather in the front room at Zach’s waiting for the National MVP results. I keep telling myself the award doesn’t matter. But if that were true, I shouldn’t be so nervous. Fuck it; I want this. I want it badly.
I toss back a drink while AJ and Zach discuss a few plays that went down during the series. It looks as if AJ is getting the upper hand in this conversation. It’s good to see him loosen up. Ever since the charity photo shoot we did last week, he’s been broody.
“Yeah, okay, Mr. December. Whatever,” Zach goads.
“Fu…fork and spoon.”
Everyone burst in laughter at his attempt to curb his language around the kids. I admit it is rather hard. A definite adjustment, for sure.
“Ignore him. He’s been crabby ever since the photo shoot,” Zach says. “I don’t think he liked his outfit.”
“It was rather creepy.” I shouldn’t poke fun, but Zach speaks the truth.
“I rocked that outfit. I don’t know what you all are talking about.” AJ kicks back in the seat.
The shoot went well, but there’s no denying his shitty attitude that followed. Admittedly, his outfit was the creepiest. It’s almost as if the photographer had it in for him. But considering she’s Drake’s sister, that makes no sense. I attribute his shitty attitude to the looming trade talks. It should be interesting come December.
“Shh, they’re starting.” Lacey quiets everyone and increases the television volume.
Jocelyn moves over toward me and grabs hold of my hand. God, this woman. No matter the outcome, I’ve already won.
The network shows the highlights of each candidate’s season, and when mine pops on screen, Trenna squeals. “Look, that’s my second daddy.”
A hush descends over the room, and my heart nearly stops. I look at Jocelyn, who’s on the brink of tears. She holds my gaze as she says, “That’s right, Trenna. He looks awesome.”
Trenna claps after my last clip plays and comes over to hug me. I kiss the top of her head before she darts back to Zoe and Tristan.
Lacey glances back to Zach with the same expression as J
ocelyn, and I sit there in a daze until…
“And this year’s National League Most Valuable Player is”—I squeeze Jocelyn’s hand tightly, afraid to breathe—“Jaxon Carrigan.”
The room erupts in squealing, shouting, and whooping. I tip my head back to the ceiling and exhale, the drumming in my chest refusing to subside. Calls and texts from teammates and my agent blow my phone up, but there’s only one person I call immediately, and that’s Nana.
“Congratulations, boy.” Her strong voice fills my ear. “I already knew you were the best anyway.”
“Thanks, Nana. I just, wow, I can’t believe it.”
“I can. You work hard.”
“Thanks, I love you.”
“I love you, too. Now get back to that celebration.”
After the chaos subsides, I scan the room. The kids playing off to the side and the bright smile Jocelyn wears make me so Goddamn thankful. I’m drunk with happiness. It may have taken a while to get what I wanted, but I wouldn’t trade anything. Our path is no longer the windy riverbed but the straight river. I’m sure there will be bumps and snags along the way—life wouldn’t be complete without them—but our future is carved in front of us. And I damn well like what I see.
Wondering who has bad boy AJ Gonzalez in a dither? Find out in Bottom of the Ninth. Just flip the page for more details.
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