by M. N. Forgy
I take what’s left of my top off and head to the bathroom to get my things. I run my hands along my stomach, curious why I am not feeling any tightening or contractions.
“Let me help, babe,” Shadow insists, grabbing some clothes from my bag. He’s wearing some low-cut gray sweats and a plain white t-shirt. Dressed already.
“I feel fine, honey. I can do this myself,” I remark, grabbing my bra off the floor. As I put it on, I feel cloth rub up and down my legs. I widen my knees and look between them, finding Shadow cleaning the fluid sticking to my legs and thighs with a towel.
“Here.” Shadow unfolds a pair of panties, waiting for me to lift my leg so he can dress me.
“You aren’t going to let me get dressed by myself, are you?” I question with a raised brow.
“No, I’m not, so now that we have accomplished that, let’s get you dressed so we can get you to the hospital,” Shadow snaps. I roll my eyes and lift my leg so he can slide my panties on.
After getting dressed with Shadow’s help, we head to the car. Just as I am about to climb in the car, a sharp pain stabs across my stomach, making me grab my midsection and yell.
“Dani!” Shadow runs to my side of the car and grabs my waist.
The feeling lasts a few seconds before finally releasing.
“I think the pain is here,” I mumble as Shadow opens the car door for me.
I slide into my seat and grasp the dash with my fingers, waiting for the next toe-curling contraction to rip through me.
Everything echoes, and my heartbeat suddenly thuds hard against my chest.
“Dani!” I look over and notice I am falling into Shadow’s lap. I push off the seat and lean against the window.
“Drive to the hospital quickly, Shadow,” I whimper. “Something’s wrong.”
***
SHADOW
I have been afraid many times in my life, mostly being after I met Dani and usually involving Dani in some way. But my body just went stone-cold, my breathing shallow as my heart stops. I have heard of pregnant women dying while giving birth, having complications. I shake my head to clear it then lean over and buckle Dani in gently.
I throw the car in reverse and fly out of the driveway, the tires screeching against the pavement as I fishtail it onto the road. My foot slams down on the accelerator as I head toward the highway.
I hear Dani moan loudly, grabbing the door and dashboard as another one of those contraction things hits her.
“Try and breathe, baby,” I add, reaching over to rub her back. She slowly turns her head, her eyes the angriest green I have ever seen.
“I am breathing. Just drive the fucking car!” she yells.
I glare at her then look back at the road.
After fifteen minutes of driving the back roads, I reach the freeway, not caring to stop for red lights or stop signs.
“We’re almost there, Dani,” I inform her, passing the hospital sign.
I look over when she doesn’t answer and see her face paling, her body shaking with a cold sweat. She looks bad, and not in the ‘I’m having a baby’ way.
I pull onto the off ramp and see red and blue lights flare in my rearview mirror. I look behind me and see a cop car tailing us.
“Shit,” I mumble.
“What?” Dani cries out, her voice shaky.
“Nothing,” I reply, not wanting to worry her. Sirens sound behind us, making Dani’s head snap toward me.
“Don’t worry about it; I’m not stopping,” I add quickly. I grab my gear shifter and slam it into third as I pull off the highway, taking all the speed my Mustang can give, the cop right on my tail with sirens blaring loudly.
I take a left, the hospital in sight as we race toward it. I look in the rearview mirror and see another cop pull in behind us from a side road, its overhead lights on.
“Shit, shit,” I mumble.
“Shadow, I don’t feel so…” Dani suddenly stops talking, a loud thump sounding from the passenger side. I look over in panic and see her head leaning against the window, her eyes closed.
“Dani!” I yell in fear, reaching over to shake her.
I turn left into the hospital’s parking lot, run over the sidewalk, and park right in front of the emergency doors.
I open my door and race around the other side, the cop cars pulling up right behind me.
I open Dani’s door and she falls into my arms.
“Stop it right there or I’ll shoot,” an officer yells, stepping out of his cruiser.
“I need help!” I scream, my voice trembling.
The cop looks over at the other officer aiming a weapon at me, hiding behind his door. Fuck this; they’ll have to shoot me.
I grab Dani under her thighs and behind her neck, lifting her from the seat. I run toward the hospital’s double doors, not looking back at the cops.
“Someone help!” I yell, running into the lobby.
Doc turns around from standing at the desk, and her face pales as she runs toward me. Thank God she is working tonight. She snaps her hands at a young girl wearing scrubs and the girl runs off, grabbing a bed sitting along the wall.
“What happened?” Doc questions, placing a stethoscope to Dani’s chest.
“Her water broke, and she got real dizzy and nearly passed out on the way here. Then she did pass out a few minutes ago.”
“She’s breathing; lay her down,” she instructs, pointing to the white linen bed. I slowly lay Dani down, my hands shaking as I slide them from underneath her.
Doc and three nurses run her to a room, me following closely behind.
When I walk into the room, they are hooking her up to machines, putting an IV in her arm, and yelling things I can’t understand to one another.
“Call the OB floor, find out who her doctor is!” Doc yells above the chaos. A guy in blue scrubs runs out of the room with the order. I run my hands through my hair, pacing the doorway.
“Dr. Jessica, her blood pressure is 170 over 110!” the young nurse yells, looking at Doc.
“That’s not good,” Doc replies.
“What’s going on? What does that mean?” I question, stepping up to the bed.
I look at Dani and see her move her head, her eyes barely opening.
“We need to get her upstairs and get this baby out of her quickly,” Doc says. The team of nurses grab cords off the wall, hook her IV to a post attached to the bed and start pushing her toward the door.
“Is she going to be okay?” I ask frantically.
“Shadow, go to the waiting room on the OB floor. I will have someone update you as we go along,” Doc informs me, rushing after the bed. I run forward and grab Dani’s hand, holding it tightly as they rush her toward an elevator. I’ll never forgive myself if I lose her, not having near enough time on Earth with her being all my fault.
“I’m here, Dani!” I yell as they pull her from my grasp. I turn and feel my eyes fill with tears, scared to death of what will happen. When I look up I see two police officers standing by the hospital doors, their arms crossed as they stare me down.
“Shit,” I whisper.
“I need to get upstairs,” I say, walking past them.
“That’s fine. We will be here waiting,” an officer responds.
I scoff and head toward the stairs.
Sitting in the chair, I call Bull and tell him what had happened. He, of course, freaks and says he will be here quickly.
“Is there a S-Shadow?” a young blonde nurse asks the waiting room. I immediately stand and walk toward her.
“That’s me,” I reply.
“Dani is stable and is being prepped for a C-section,” she informs.
“What happened? What’s wrong?” I ask.
“She has high blood pressure which can be caused by pregnancy, but her blood pressure is so high it has caused her to go into labor early,” she explains. “The baby is showing signs of distress, so the doctor thinks a C-section is our best option right now for Mom and baby.” I lower my head
and rest my hand on the back of my neck in defeat.
“Her chart shows she had a touch of high blood pressure with her first pregnancy, is that correct?” she asks.
“Yes, she had to be induced because it was getting too high,” I inform her. “But nothing like this.”
“I collected her charts from her primary OB, and it looks like her blood pressure has been fine with this pregnancy. It has to have just spiked in the last week or so,” she remarks. “I will be out shortly for another update.” I nod and head back toward my chair.
“Is she okay? Is the baby alive?”
I look behind me to a frazzled Bull who’s looking at me with wide eyes.
“They said she is stable, but the baby is in distress,” I respond.
“Shit,” Bull mutters, looking at the double doors leading back into the hospital. “You okay? I saw your parking job,” he remarks, his thumb pointing over his shoulder.
“Yeah, and I got two boys in blue waiting downstairs for me, too,” I reply.
“I saw them,” Bull adds, sitting in the chair next to me. “Bobby told me about Charlie, what a fuckin’ mess,” Bull grumbles, shaking his head. I nod in agreement, my mind only focusing on Dani.
I lower my head and nervously run my hands back and forth through my hair.
“If I had been around more, I would have noticed things weren’t right,” I mumble.
“Yeah, that’s my fault. I haven’t been around much taking my responsibility as President. I appreciate everything you have done for me. I promise I’m getting my shit together, that things are different,” he remarks, leaning back in his chair. I hope he’s right and not feeding me a line of shit.
“Shadow?”
I stand and look toward the door, a nurse standing with a bright smile on her face.
I walk over to her quickly, my heart beating through my chest.
“Are you ready to meet your daughter?” she asks, her face cheery.
“Wh-what?” I stutter.
“Your daughter is ready to meet her father,” the nurse continues.
“She’s okay?” I ask with a sigh of relief.
“She is beautiful,” she replies.
“What about Dani? Is she okay?” I question quickly.
“She is fine; her blood pressure is already coming down,” she remarks.
A sob escapes my mouth as I close my eyes and look upward, thanking the Lord. He and I talk frequently since I have been with Dani.
“Follow me,” she instructs.
I follow her into the nursery where a pinkish, wrinkled-skinned baby covered in a bit of white waxy substance cries, lying on a scale.
“She is beautiful, Shadow,” Doc says, walking back to the weighing scale with a pink blanket. “She weighs five pounds even, and is eighteen inches long.”
“What’s her name?” a nurse asks, walking up to Doc with a clipboard.
“Delilah,” I reply.
Doc looks up at me, her eyes soft. She knows why we named our baby Delilah; she knew Babs.
“Here she is,” Doc says, handing me my daughter.
Delilah has a fuzz of curly dark hair on her head, her mother’s cheeks, and my lips. I wonder what color eyes she will have—hopefully her mother’s green ones.
“Dani is okay? When can I see her?” I ask.
“She is fine. She got a touch of pre-eclampsia with this pregnancy. You can see her whenever you like; she’s in the recovery room as we speak,” Doc says, touching Delilah’s nose with her finger, a smile on her face. “Dani is lucky, though. Pre-eclampsia is very dangerous; it could have killed her and the baby,” she continues, her tone serious.
My heart sinks at the thought of a life without Dani, it would be something I would never overcome.
Two Days Later
I thumb the silver ring between my forefinger and thumb as Dani sleeps in the hospital bed. We get to go home today. Delilah coos in my arms as I rock her in the chair placed in the corner of the hospital room. I have gone over scenario after scenario trying to figure how I would give an engagement ring to Dani. I suck at being romantic; I just don’t have the knack for it.
Luckily, the beach house fell into my lap last-minute. The morning of Valentine’s Day, Bobby and I came back to the club after dealing with Charlie and the owner of the beach house called, and asked if I wanted it, that he was getting too old to keep up with it. I took it right away, met up with him, and paid for it in full. Living the life of a contract killer before I met Dani paid very well. I look back at Delilah; her eyes are starting to turn a greenish color, making me grin. I bet with time they will turn a vibrant green. It amazes me that even with the dark lifestyle Dani and I live, we have become good parents.
I reach in my pocket and pull out my father’s dog tags, the only thing I really have of his I can keep close to me. It’s been almost a year since I got the news he was gunned down in Iraq. A firm shake from a fellow soldier and they handed me his dog tags. My father was a great man. I never saw him much because of the military, but he stood by me on anything I needed. I unclasp the necklace and slide the ring onto it, clinking against the tags.
Delilah’s coos take my gaze from my father’s tags to her. I wish my father could see my kids, see the man I have become. I slide the necklace over Delilah’s neck, the silver dog tags and ring resting on her chest. My father’s death should have taught me the lesson of how fragile a life can be, how without a second look the person you love has vanished, but all I felt was rage when the world took him from me. I never really grasped how life could be so delicate until Dani and the kids.
“You look so sexy rocking a baby to sleep.” I look up from Delilah and see Dani smiling at me, her hair a mess from lying in bed. She is so beautiful when she looks like that.
I wrap my hands around Delilah and walk to the bed.
“Do you want to hold our little girl, Firefly?” I question.
She turns her head and looks at me quizzically.
“Did you get a ticket?” she asks, quirking her eyebrow at me. The cops have been asking to see me for days. I had been side-swiping them every chance I got, but they finally caught up to me today.
“Nah, they gave us some basket of baby crap,” I respond with a laugh. I hand her Delilah and sit on the side of the bed, waiting for Dani to find the ring. My palms are sweaty and nervous for some reason, making me wipe them on my jeans.
Dani gasps, covering her mouth with her hand, her head slowly tilting up toward me.
“Marry me, Firefly,” I whisper.
She looks down at Delilah and sobs.
“I have been so selfish not being there, not seeing that you were sick. I love you, and I want you in my life forever. By taking that ring, I promise to be the best husband I can be. Of course I am going to fuck up along the way and still be a shit romantic, but I promise to learn from my mistakes,” I say softly, reaching forward and grabbing her hand.
Dani lets out a half-sob, half-chuckle.
“I don’t know; that was pretty romantic,” she laughs.
I smirk and look at her round face.
“Yeah, maybe,” I respond. It’s not near romantic enough for her; she deserves more than this world could ever give her.
“I’ll marry you, Shadow.”
I lean forward and kiss her passionately, my lips nearly bruising her hers. “Like it was a question,” I whisper against her lips, making her laugh.
“Daddy!” I look behind me to Zane and Bobby walking in.
“Hey, buddy, come meet your sister,” Dani says, scooting over.
Zane climbs onto the bed and sits next to Dani, his eyes wide as he looks at Delilah.
Bobby leans over and slides his finger over Delilah’s cheek.
“No!” Zane yells, slapping at Bobby’s hand.
“Looks like big brother is going to be protective.” Bobby laughs.
I sit back and look at my family, the family I never thought I would have. As a child, I would sit in my empty house with no ele
ctricity—because my mom split to use what money she got on drugs and on her boyfriend—and often wonder what I had done in life to deserve such a Hell. Growing up, I never thought I would amount to anything, too damaged to feel anything but hate toward the world. I found the club and took my place as a criminal and a killer, doing what I already knew.
Then Dani walked in and wrecked that thought of isolation. Taught me how to feel, taught me to be more than what I was. Every day I wake up she teaches me a new emotion, and my kids make me see things I often forget are there. I have to stop trying to isolate myself and let those who want to be with me be there, stop believing that the only thing I deserve is an old house filled with mold and empty boxes of crackers I had licked clean. Maybe if I accept what is given to me, I can outgrow my shell of darkness completely.
“What’s her middle name?” Bobby asks, sitting in the rocker.
“Rose,” Dani says, looking at me for approval. “She was born on Valentine’s Day; I thought it was fitting,” she continues, snuggling Zane next to her.
“I love it,” Bobby replies.
I brush a dark strand from her face. “Me, too, Firefly.”
I want to thank everyone who supported me and helped me get this novella done. I cannot begin to explain what it means to me to have such a support system. My street team, beta readers, and readers are my world and hope I can continue to please you as much as I am pleased to be writing for you.
My family and friends are also a huge part of my career, listening to me ramble on about damaged alphas and woman that take no shit in my stories.
I love you all!
What Doesn’t Destroy Us
(The Devil's Dust #1)
The Scars That Define Us
(The Devil's Dust #2)
The Broken Pieces Of Us
(A Devil’s Dust Novella)
The Fear That Divides Us
(The Devil’s Dust #3)
M.N. Forgy was raised in Missouri where she still lives with her family. She's a soccer mom by day and a saucy writer by night. M.N. Forgy started writing at a young age but never took it seriously until years later, as a stay-at-home mom, she opened her laptop and started writing again. As a role model for her children, she felt she couldn't live with the "what if" anymore and finally took a chance on her character's story. So, with her glass of wine in hand and a stray Barbie sharing her seat, she continues to create and please her fans.