His gaze rose to the balcony.
At the railing, Shell’s eyes riveted on him.
A smile reached his soul. He waved, jumped out of the truck, and jogged to the big house.
Up the main staircase, he took two steps at a time.
At the landing on the second floor, she waited. “You okay?”
“I am. Sorry I conked out on you during the drive home last night.” He cleared his throat and glanced at the workers nearby. The steady hum of power tools with hisses, ticks, and booms covered their conversation. But just in case, he steered her toward the swing.
She settled on the left. “You were emotionally exhausted. With good reason. I was worried you’d fall asleep driving to your place.”
Claiming the other end of the swing, he kept his distance. Nothing to stir gossip among the carpenters. He’d once worsened her reputation, but from now on, he’d honor Shell, not sully her.
“I’ve never felt so torn in my life.” Leaning forward, he cradled his head in his hands. “In a way, I wish I could have been raised by Martin and Sylvie, with my brother and sister. Sylvie would have been a better person and spared countless lives from gossip. And Martin might never have become an alcoholic.”
“It’s normal to feel that way.”
“But it’s a betrayal to my parents.”
“It’s not, Ryler.” She rubbed his back in soothing circles. “It’s a difficult situation. If Sylvie had given you up because she didn’t want you, it would be different. But this way, you wouldn’t be human if you didn’t wonder ‘what if?’ ”
He straightened up. “You’re right. And I am oh, so human.” Human enough that her touch electrified him. He leaned back, forcing her to move her hand and stop the havoc her comfort wreaked.
“Have you heard from any of your new family?”
“I’m having supper with Sylvie tonight at Colton’s over in Searcy. Hayden called and apologized again for being suspicious of me.”
“Your willingness to take the paternity test must have convinced him.”
“Tomorrow night, I’m having dinner at Laken and Hayden’s with Collin and Sylvie. I was hoping you’d join me.”
“Absolutely not.”
He frowned. “Why?”
“You need time with your family—alone. Especially with your mother.”
“My mother.” He ran his fingers through his hair. “It’s weird. My mom died twelve years ago.” And now, he had a new one.
“She won’t try to replace your mother.”
“I know, it’s just weird. And even though I know who I am, Hayden said something that bothered me.”
“What?”
“What if my papers got mixed up at the children’s home? What if I’m not Martin Rothwell Kroft?”
Shell’s eyebrow lifted. “Rothwell? Oh, I think you definitely look like a Rothwell. I think I’ll call you that from now on.”
He grinned. “Try it and I won’t answer. It was Sylvie’s maiden name. Seriously, what if?”
“You’ve got her eyes. The very thing that first attracted me to you. I mean—well, you knew I was attracted to you. Obviously.”
Ryler captured her hand. “Come with me to dinner at Laken’s tomorrow night.”
“You’re a big boy. You can handle it. Alone. And besides, we’re having dinner with Grayson and Adrea the next night, so I’ll see you then. When do you get the test results?”
“Friday afternoon.” He’d need a distraction. “Let’s take half the day off and run away. Do something distracting.”
“Such as?” She scooted closer to him and laid her head against his shoulder. He laughed. “Nothing sinful.”
Grayson and Adrea’s large home reminded Shell of the B&B, but it wasn’t as old. Large rooms and high ceilings gave it a spacious feel, yet Adrea had kept it cozy with warm furnishings and family pictures. After supper, Grayson, Dayne, and Ryler cleaned the kitchen, while Shell followed her unlikely hostess to the living room for coffee.
Adrea settled on the couch, cradling a cooing Ashley on one shoulder.
Might as well get it over with. Shell chose a chair across from Adrea and cleared her throat. “I’ve meant to tell you something. I’m sorry for hurting you.” That sounded weak. More like, I did my level best to destroy your life.
Adrea closed her eyes for a moment. “It’s all in the past.”
“Yes, but I am sorry. I wasn’t for a long time. In fact, I gloated about it.” Wade had been a game to her. “I’d seen you with Wade around Searcy and you were the kind of woman I’d always wanted to be. Upstanding, moral, classy…I couldn’t be, so I thought it was fun to steal your fiancé. I don’t know how you can ever forgive me.”
Adrea patted Ashley’s back in a steady rhythm. “I was hurt by what happened and for a time, I was very bitter. But I turned it over to God. Once I did that, I got past the bitterness and got on with my life. Then, I could see your pain.”
Shell shook her head. “Poor Wade got caught in the middle and I led him to his doom.”
“Wade made his own decisions and you couldn’t make him do anything he wasn’t willing to do. I just wish he hadn’t hurt himself or anyone else.” Adrea stared off into space for a moment then readjusted Ashley on her other shoulder.
Oh, to hold Chance whenever she wanted. On a daily basis, part of her life. She hugged herself.
“So did Grayson answer all your questions about baptism?”
“Yes. I can’t believe how my life is turning around.”
Adrea smiled. “You have a new chance to be upstanding, moral, and classy. I never thought of myself as classy, but thanks for the compliment.”
“Maybe the moral part, but I don’t feel upstanding or classy.”
“We need to work on your self-image.” Adrea stood, grabbed her hand, and dragged her to a large gilded mirror. “Look at yourself. What do you see?”
Shell stared into her own blue eyes, at the natural-looking blond hair, the modest clothing. “I see a bimbo trying to pretend she’s someone else.”
“Oh Shell. You’re beautiful. Inside and out. Look at yourself the way God sees you. You’re innocent and precious in His sight. Made in His image, a daughter of God, and co-heir of Christ.”
“I don’t feel worthy.”
“He sees you as worthy. When you humbled yourself to accept Jesus as your Savior, you became worthy. You have to let go of the past, Shell. He has.”
Shell took a deep breath and closed her eyes. Let go of the past. If only she could.
Cleaning the kitchen reminded Ryler of helping his mother.
With a final swipe across the countertop, Grayson dumped the dishcloth into the sink and sat at the table. “Dayne, you may go play with Cocoa now.”
“Thanks, Dad. See you later, Mr. Ryler.” The boy launched out the back door and excited barks greeted him.
Ryler claimed the chair across from Grayson. “I’m having a problem, Preacher.”
“What’s that?”
“Well, you see, Shell and I, we knew each other before. And now things are different and…”
“Whatever you tell me goes no further, but”—Grayson grinned—“I’m no good at fill-in-the-blank.”
Ryler sucked in a deep breath. “We had a relationship for about three months and we were…intimate. On more than one occasion. My fault completely.” Not completely, but he’d gladly save what he could of Shell’s rep by taking the blame. “We haven’t”—he cleared his throat—“done anything since we ended up working together here, but we’ve had a couple of close calls.”
“And now you’re both saved, but you still want to be intimate.”
“Well no, I mean not really. We know it’s wrong. We don’t want to.”
“But your flesh does.” Grayson cupped his chin in one hand, leaning an elbow on the table.
“Definitely. We’ve read verses together. Shell—she hasn’t had much church, so I showed her some verses on fornication. She didn’t even know what it meant.”
“It’s good that you’re reading the Bible together.” Grayson nodded. “A very good start. And it’s awesome that you want to live differently now. It never ceases to amaze me how unmarried people who get saved in the morning can go to bed with their significant other that night, just like they did the night before.”
“But the Bible says it’s wrong.”
“You’re right. I don’t know if they don’t realize that, they don’t care, or they don’t think it applies to them because they’ve already been intimate. Anyway, I’m impressed with both of you.”
Ryler ran his hand through his hair. “Every time she’s near, I want to throw her over my shoulder like some Neanderthal, haul her up the stairs of the B&B, and love her for the rest of my days.” Ryler winced. “I mean emotionally.”
“Of course.” Grayson laughed. “And physically.”
“Sorry, that was probably too much information.”
“It’s okay. I’m human, too.”
“But what do I do about it?”
“You keep coming to church, keep reading the Bible together, and pray about it.” Grayson sipped his coffee. “Don’t have dinner at her place or yours. Take her out in public. Don’t stop somewhere secluded to sit in the car and talk after dark.
“Take her directly home, say good night to her under the porch light, and get out of Dodge. If you go to the park, don’t get over behind that big sycamore tree. You know they call that Lover’s Lair for a reason.”
Exactly where he’d taken her. At least they’d read the Bible together there.
Ryler swallowed. “I feel like a teenager.”
“Women can make you feel that way.” Grayson steepled his fingertips. “Besides the physical, how do you feel about Shell? Do you care about her?”
A boulder lodged in his throat. “I love her.”
“How does she feel about you?”
“I’m not sure. Sometimes I think she cares. It’s almost like she’s scared to really feel. Afraid she’ll get hurt or something.”
“If you love her, show her you’re not going anywhere. Show her she can trust you. You have a commitment to God to treat her with respect and honor her. Let God give you the strength.”
“I was hoping for an easy solution, like a chastity belt or something.”
Grayson laughed. “If you try everything and you’re still tempted then marry her.”
“I’d love to, but I’m not sure I can get her to agree.”
“In God’s sight, you’re already married.”
“Huh?”
“You became one flesh.”
“But I’ve—um—in that case, I’ve married a lot of women.” Heat warmed Ryler’s neck. “But I’ve never been legally married.”
“And you can’t make it right with all of them.”
“Shell’s the only woman I’ve ever loved.”
“Then do right by her.”
“I will.”
“And save the staircase thing for your honeymoon, but don’t throw her over your shoulder. Women don’t like to be hauled. Go Clark Gable. Only, less forceful.”
The drive to Shell’s had been mostly silent, as if they both had so much on their minds they couldn’t think of anything to say. He’d walked her to her door, but there’d been no physical contact and she’d scurried inside with a mumbled good night.
Ryler pulled into his driveway, his headlights illuminating a figure sitting on the porch steps.
Collin.
He killed the engine and stepped out of the SUV.
“Hey. I was hoping we could talk.”
“About?”
“All this time, you knew. We’re brothers. Why didn’t you say anything?”
“I wanted to get to know you first.” Ryler shrugged. “And I wasn’t sure if you and Laken even knew about me. I didn’t want to show up and blow your worlds apart.” Been there.
“Admit it, you were scared of Mother.”
Ryler chuckled. “She was kind of scary when I worked for her, and I’ll admit at one point, I wanted to fade away, but I couldn’t. Knowing I had a brother and sister, I couldn’t just leave.”
“I’m glad. I think, maybe this family can really be a family. For the first time.” Collin ran a hand through his hair. “Growing up, I never measured up for Father. He was really tough on me.”
“And Laken?”
“He ignored her.”
Ryler frowned. Maybe he didn’t want to get to know Martin Kroft after all.
“I know now, he was hurting. He could never look past the son he’d lost to see the son and daughter he had.”
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s not your fault.”
“It’s not yours either.”
“You’re right.” Collin stood. “I better get home. I promised I’d call Jill and tell her how it went with us.”
Ryler’s gaze narrowed. “She made you come over here.”
“Jill doesn’t make me do anything.” Collin grinned. “Other than follow her around like a lovesick puppy. No, I came because I wanted to. I’m calling her because our semblance of a family blows her mind and she’s worried about me.”
Must be nice to have someone worry.
“Don’t let what I said about Father scare you off.” Collin offered his hand. “With you in the equation, maybe we can all heal. Together.”
Hmm. Shake, hug, or just say See ya.
Collin hugged him and they clapped each other on the back.
Despite the manly stiffness of the embrace, Ryler’s eyes filled with tears. Thank goodness it was dark and the porch light was burned out.
Pulling away, Collin gave him a final thud on the back and jogged across the street.
Chair legs scraped against the tiled floor of the Rambler Café then quieted as the lunch crowd headed back to work. Shell’s stomach fluttered, partly because of Ryler’s nearness and partly from anxiety over the expected phone call.
Today was the day. The day they’d learn once and for all that Ryler was officially a Kroft. Officially out of her league.
Trying to concentrate on something other than him, she stared out the front window as numerous cars and pickup trucks pulled away.
The waitress brought strawberry cheesecake on one dish with a plump berry resting beside the generous slice.
“Could we have another plate?” Shell asked.
“This is fine.” Ryler winked at her.
Her heart swooned.
“If I was twenty years younger, honey”—the waitress propped a hand on her hip—“I’d eat from the same dish with him.”
Ryler’s eyes widened as the waitress left them alone.
Shell stifled a giggle.
“What? You think I’ve got germs or something?”
“We’re sitting on the same side of the table. If we eat out of the same dish, it becomes—”
“An official date. You okay with that?”
She wanted to be. If he wasn’t a Kroft. If he could just stay Ryler Grant. “What did you and Grayson talk about last night?”
He blushed. Ryler Grant blushed. Or Martin Rothwell Kroft? Or whoever he was.
“Guy stuff. What did you and Adrea talk about?”
“Just girl stuff.” She scooped up a bite of the cheesecake dripping with sauce.
Gently, he picked up the fruit by the cap. “Wait, do you want the strawberry?”
“Sure.”
He held it in front of her mouth.
Her breath caught. “I can feed myself.”
“Humor me.”
As she bit the strawberry in two, his gaze stayed on her lips. Selfconsciously, she chewed and swallowed. “I’ve never done anything so cheesy in my life.”
“It may have been cheesy, but I really shouldn’t have done that.”
“Why?”
“ ’Cause it made me want to kiss you, and we’re in a public place.”
She looked down and popped the bite of dessert dripping from her spoon into her mouth.
His cell vibrated.
Her gaze flew to his. “Answer it.”
With trembling fingers, he slid the phone open. “Hello?”
Her heart launched into double-time as she watched his expression.
He swallowed hard. “We’ll be right over.”
“Sylvie? What did she say?”
Chapter 8
She said my father wants to meet me.” Ryler’s voice cracked.
Her stomach took a nosedive. Don’t let any disappointment show. Be happy for him.
Wrapping her arms around his shoulders, she hugged him, even though the news sealed their fate. “Oh Ryler, I knew it, but it’s nice to officially know it.”
“Tell me about it.”
“I can’t go with you.”
“You have to.”
“You’re meeting your father for the first time. You do not need me tagging along.”
“I need all the moral support I can get. Please come. You can wait outside or in another room, but I need you there.”
He needed her.
Her heart tumbled.
He didn’t need her. He needed some debutante with blue blood to match his.
But for today, she’d be there for him. And tomorrow. She wouldn’t think about tomorrow just yet.
She grabbed the bill and took his hand. “Let’s go. We’ll stop by the B&B and get my car in case you want to stay for a while.”
Ryler gulped a deep breath, his hand hovering over the doorbell.
“It’ll be fine.” Shell rubbed her hand over his back. “You’re about to meet a man who’s longed to see you your entire life. He loves you.”
“What if he’s drunk?”
“I’m sure you’ve seen a few drunks in your life.”
He paced away from the door, leaning one hand on the column of the porch. “What if he’s angry that I didn’t come forward sooner?”
“Relax.” She hooked her hand through his elbow and propelled him back to the door. “Take another deep breath and ring the bell. Am I going to have to do it for you again?”
His finger moved toward the button but the door opened.
ARKANSAS WEDDINGS: THREE-IN-ONE COLLECTION Page 45