by Jani Kay
He growled, shaking his head. He’d rather die than give up Mia. Surely he could understand how I felt? We were bikers, yes. We were criminals, yes. But we were also just human. We loved and hurt as deeply as everyone else. Maybe even deeper.
His mouth drew into a thin line. “Fuck. You are making it hard on us both. You know I love you as my own brother. I want to see you happy with your woman. But it can't be Jade. You have to understand this, Ryder. You and Jade together is bad news for her family and for us—your family. You’re a modern-day fucking Romeo and Juliet. Yeah, I know about that shit, I’m a biker, not a dumbass.” He smiled wryly as he paced the room. This was killing Cobra as much as it was killing me.
“Say goodbye to Jade. Let it be done. It will be better for everybody.”
Everybody but me—and Jade.
Fuck.
Our two worlds were colliding. We were being torn apart.
Fuck.
I couldn’t let it happen.
Jade—and our love—was worth fighting for.
Does she believe that too?
Fuck.
Chapter 21 ~ Jade
Three nights after Harrison’s surprise visit at the compound, I still hadn’t heard from Ryder. Was all that talk of being his woman just crap he came up with to get me to have sex with him? Maybe he got off on dominating woman, telling them he owned them. Then when he tired of them, he moved on to the next target.
Fortunately, I had a really big case to work on at Summers, Walker and Hedgewick, so it kept me pretty occupied during the day. But at night, I lay in my bed, my mind ticking over, running the events nonstop through my brain, like a movie on repeat.
The sweet words Ryder had spoken to me were a refrain by now, I knew them by heart: I never knew someone like you existed. I never knew I could feel like this about another person. It brought a smile to my face, and lightness to my heart. His admission made my toes curl, simply because the same thing had happened to me too, but I wasn’t going to ever admit it to him: I think of you from the moment I open my eyes till the moment I close them. There’s not a minute of a day I'm not thinking of you, aching for you, wanting to be inside you. And my absolute favorite: Only you, babe, nobody else.
But now . . . where was he? I didn't want to believe that he scared this easily. Was what we were both feeling not worth exploring? It was new, it was strange, and it was scary as hell. But it felt really, really good.
What was this thing we both felt? Was it possible that it was . . . love? The expression on his face when he tried to explain how he felt made my heart beat a little faster. I can't name what I feel, because I’ve never felt it before. All I can do is to tell you how happy it makes me feel when I’m near you. And how fucking amazing it feels when I’m inside you. If you can name that, then you know how I feel about you.
A pang shot through my heart. I missed Ryder—his smell, his warmth, and the way he made me feel when he was close. I wanted to be around him every day. Somehow, my life felt empty when the larger-than-life man wasn’t around.
My phone beeped beside me. Ryder? I glanced at the screen, hopeful. But no. It was my cousin from Australia. “Rebecca? How are you?” I asked. A chat with her would take my mind off my hassles.
“Jade. Sorry to call so late, honey. I'm planning to make a trip to LA in six weeks. Do you think we could catch up again?”
When I last met Rebecca in New York a few months ago, we’d had a fun time together. I needed a distraction. Plus, she was a smart woman and I valued her opinion; maybe I could ask her for advice.
“Of course we can. It’ll be great to see you. I can show you around LA. In fact, come and stay with us?”
“Oh no, I'm coming for work. Usually my boss puts me up in style at a fancy hotel. But I’d love to go on a shopping trip and maybe have a girl’s night out one evening?”
“OK. Sounds good. Let me know the dates and I’ll set it all up. We’ll have a blast.”
“Jade, how’s your relationship coming along? Are you engaged to Marcus yet? Are the wedding invitations coming any time soon?”
I rolled my eyes. Of course—the last time I saw Rebecca, Marcus was courting me. I'd forgotten that I hardly knew Ryder at the time. It felt so long ago.
“Marcus? Oh Lord no, we didn't get engaged. Long story. But he has asked me to accompany him to the annual partner’s ball.”
A growl from my bedroom door startled me. My head jerked up and my gaze fell on Ryder, leaning against the doorjamb, arms folded, a deep frown marring his brow.
“Rebecca, I’ve got to go, honey. Something came up. But we’ll talk soon, okay?”
We said our goodbyes and I hung up, stunned that Ryder had snuck into the house again and was staring down at me, his eyes narrowed, and his jaw set in stone.
“No Marcus. Not happening. Over my dead fucking body,” he growled. “If you want him to stay alive, tell him to fuck off from my woman.”
“Ryder,” I breathed. Where had he appeared from so suddenly?
“Yeah, babe. I had to come see you.”
“Doesn’t your phone work? Why don’t you call me?”
He smirked. “I am calling you. Live and in person. It’s so much better than a damn phone call, don’t you think?”
“And what about the other two nights, huh?”
“Why, Princess? Have you been missing me?” He quirked an eyebrow, apparently amused. “My cock’s been missing you.”
“Ryder!” I gasped.
He crawled onto the bed then started kissing up my leg, till he got to my apex. Nuzzling his nose between my thighs, he licked the fabric covering my pussy.
“Hmmm . . . damp . . . sweet and salty . . . Just what I feel like tonight. The taste of you.” He shoved the fabric aside and lapped my clit in long strokes. My back arched off the bed as I tried to give him more of me. He pushed two fingers inside. “So fucking wet.” I whimpered, my need for him overtaking my common sense as he slid them in and out of me. “All of this is mine. No other man lays a finger on you. Is that clear?”
I nodded, willing him to keep up the work of his expert fingers. He slid the panties down my legs, and pocketed them. “A souvenir for my visit. I will add these to my collection.” He grabbed hold of the ends of my nightgown and pulled it over my head. His eyes were glowing as he sucked in a breath. “Jesus, I nearly forgot how fucking beautiful you are.”
Both hands glided up my torso, over my ribcage and cupped my breasts. He squeezed hard, making me wince, and then sucked a nipple into his mouth. He bit down on the soft flesh around the nipple, causing me to cry out. Then he did the same with the other breast, biting even harder. Teeth marks were left on both breasts.
“If Marcus comes near these tits—my tits—I will kill him. These are mine. Only mine. Got that, Princess?”
“God, Ryder. What are you doing?”
“Marking what is mine. Claiming ownership. Every part of this body belongs to me.”
He flipped me over so that I was lying on my stomach. His mouth was on my ass, as he sucked and nipped and finally sank his teeth into the soft skin, biting hard. “This mark will stay there. Every time you see it, you’ll remember whose ass this is.”
I gasped as I heard his fly unzip and the rustle of fabric as he kicked off his jeans. Then I heard the tear of foil, before moments later, he rubbed his gloved cock, slick with lube, between my ass cheeks, while pulling my hair so that my head jerked back. With his warm breath on my skin, he whispered in my ear. “And now I’m taking the part of you I haven’t owned yet. And you will give yourself to me. I know no other man has been there. I will be the first and the last to claim your ass.”
He reached between us and swiped his fingers from my clit all the way to my ass, lubricating my skin with my juices. “Fuck, you’re so wet for me, my beautiful bitch.” He placed his cock at the entrance of my ass, one hand on my breast, rolling the nipples between his fingers, the other circling my clit as he pushed in slowly, one inch at a time, allowing me
to adjust to his cock before going deeper. “Relax, baby,” he crooned in my ear, sucking and licking my earlobe so that it sent shivers down my spine. Finally, he was balls-deep into my ass. I couldn’t believe how full I felt.
His ownership was never more real than now as he slowly, carefully, started thrusting inside me while squeezing both breasts with every downward stroke, his mouth on my neck, sucking my skin.
I stuck my ass out, wanting him as deep as I could take him, moaning loudly with pleasure and pain. Just as I thought I could take no more, his hand came down on my ass and smacked the skin so that the sound reverberated in the room. Shocked, I shoved backwards, only to feel my ass burn with a second slap. His fingers moved down to my clit, and as he touched me there, biting hard into my neck, I started coming so hard, I thought I’d pass out.
“Fuck, Princess, fuck,” Ryder rasped, “you’re fucking perfect.”
His balls slapped against my ass cheeks as he ejaculated, murmuring into my ear. “Mine. My pussy. My tits. My ass. All mine.”
I groaned. “Yes. All yours.”
He pulled out and I sank onto the mattress, exhausted, sore, and in ecstasy. I loved being so completely owned and possessed by Ryder.
Ryder spooned behind me, pulling my body against his so that I fit perfectly against him. His chest was heaving as he stroked my skin.
“Good girl,” he murmured in my ear. I could hear the pride in his voice, and my heart swelled with joy that I could please him so much.
Finally he settled behind me, cupping my pussy with one hand, the other cupping a breast, his mouth on my shoulder. This was perfect.
I belonged completely to Ryder. He was my man.
Chapter 22 ~ Jade
We spent the night like that, Ryder wrapped around me, holding every part of me against him, even as we slept. Exhausted, I wasn’t in any condition to ask the questions that were burning in my mind.
I gave in to sleep. It was comforting just being in his arms. I never wanted it to end. But it did—a few hours later, I woke, fully enveloped by Ryder. His fingers on my pussy had wormed their way into my wetness, his thumb rubbing my clit. It was the most delicious way to awaken.
“Baby,” I groaned as his fingers inside departed, instantly feeling the loss. But I needn’t have worried. His fingers were replaced by a rigid cock, stroking slowly inside me. His thumb on my clit heightened my desire.
The hand on my breast squeezed the nipple hard between dexterous fingers, sending ripples of delight straight to my core. My pussy clenched around his cock, squeezing him back.
Ryder moaned in my ear. “Fuck, baby, what you do to me . . .” He panted as his cock stroked me, the rhythm increasing the longer we were going at it.
My legs were hooked around his, my ass pushing backward, taking as much of his cock inside me as I could. Every nerve ending in my body was receiving pleasure signals, sending me over the edge. I shuddered against him as my orgasm took over, biting my lip so as not to shout out into the silence of the night.
Ryder kept fucking me hard until he exploded inside me with a feral groan, biting into my shoulder to muffle the noise.
First thing in the morning, I was finding that place of my own. The place Ryder could fuck me senseless and I could scream his name without worrying about being heard. It was time. I wanted it all. Every orgasm, every thrust of his cock, giving in to the pleasure with abandon, screaming without restraint.
It was time to find our place.
We lay like that, silent, spent, the cool breeze caressing our skins, the only light in the room from the moonlight as the curtains billowed. Ryder stayed inside me and I wanted him there so I lay very still, savoring the feeling of him surrounding and filling me.
This was pure bliss. I wanted it every day for the rest of my life.
“Ryder? Can we talk?”
He pulled out of me, fluid spilling all over my beautiful Egyptian sheets. But I couldn’t have been happier. I'd rather have Ryder’s cum all over my sheets than no Ryder at all.
I turned and buried my face in his chest, inhaling his scent deeply. I loved how he smelled—manly and deeply arousing. I was tempted to lick his nipple ring, but I managed to rein my renewed desire in so that we could talk, because if I started tasting his skin, I wouldn’t stop till I’d licked his cock clean.
“What’s wrong, Princess?” he murmured, as if he was afraid of my answer.
By now I knew that I had to get straight to the point with Ryder. There was no preamble or easing into a topic. “Tell me why you ended up in juvie. What happened?”
He sucked in a breath. I felt his heart racing beneath my fingertips. Oh God, what had I done? I'd ruined the moment . . .
“We don’t always grasp other people’s pain, Ryder. Just because we can't see it, doesn’t mean they aren’t hurting. I want to understand you—and why you are wounded so deeply.”
He pressed a kiss into my forehead, but stayed silent. I didn't move because I was afraid that I’d opened a door that should’ve stayed locked. Eventually he started speaking, his voice low and sad. His story started off slow, with long silences in between, but I stayed quiet, listening, only encouraging him with my fingertips brushing over his skin.
My biker man told me a story of horror. A story of a young boy who’d been deserted by his mother and not understanding why. A boy who protected his baby brother by being willing to sacrifice his own life. I trembled in his arms, tears streaming down my face, unchecked, as he told me how he’d killed a man—his own father—to save the battered body of his little brother. How he wasn’t sure, even when he was in detention, that Max had survived, and that taking Tiny’s life had meant Max got to live.
He’d lived with that guilt for years, taking the punishment dealt out by the bullies in detention as his penance for what he’d done. He even figured that if Max had died after all, it was his fault for not killing Tiny sooner—for being afraid.
My heart broke, little by little for the boy that was Ryder Knox. His pain was so much more than mine could ever be yet he wasn’t bitter. He had tried all these years to make things right by being a wonderful brother to his new family.
When he got to the part of how he was raped by the older boys, how they were going to kill him that day, on his birthday, how they slashed his face and he nearly lost an eye, I was sobbing uncontrollably. Now it was Ryder soothing me, telling me softly that everything was OK.
His story continued. He told me how Cobra and Razor had saved him. How, if it weren’t for them, he wouldn’t be here today. I sent up a silent thank you to the gods for sending the Malone brothers into the bathroom for a pee that day, just in time to save Ryder from an agonizing end.
My fingers stroked lightly over the scar on his face. Even though it had faded over the years, the physical scar was nothing like the deep internal scar that stayed with Ryder. I reached up and kissed his brow on the spot where the scar had parted the skin and never completely knitted together again. It was even more endearing now that I finally understood where he had gotten it. It wasn’t from a fight, or from him being a rough-necked bully as I’d assumed when I first noticed it. No, it was inflicted on a young boy that should never have lived through shit like that.
Shame washed over me. I had judged Ryder on that first day without knowing his story. How quick we were, as humans, to think the worst of one another, never giving someone a chance to prove us wrong. So wrapped in our own egos that we couldn’t recognize a fellow human’s pain. So quick to jump to incorrect conclusions.
“Ryder, I'm so sorry. I had no idea how much pain you went through,” I whispered.
He let out a long, slow breath. “It’s nothing compared to the pain that is waiting for me.”
I held his cheeks between my palms, staring at his face. His eyes were hooded; I couldn’t see in the darkness. Fear gripped my heart. Something was coming that I wasn’t going to like.
“Baby, I came tonight to say goodbye.”
“No. Please—�
�
He placed a finger over my lips. “Hush, Princess. You must be strong. For both of us.”
“Why, Ryder? Are you going away?” My breath hitched. “Don’t you want me?” My bottom lip started to quiver as I fought back the tears. I’d just worked out that the feeling I’d felt was indeed love. Yes, I loved Ryder. With all my heart. My heart, body, and soul belonged to him. And now he was ending it. It was as if he had stabbed me with a knife and was twisting it in my heart, killing me slowly.
“Baby,” he rumbled from deep in his chest, “I want you more than I’ve ever wanted anything in my life. More than the fucking air I breathe. But it can't work between us. You warned me from the start, and you were right. I know that now. Too many people are going to get hurt, including you. I can't do that to you.”
“No Ryder, you’re wrong. I’ll hurt more if you leave me now. I’m not beyond begging, I’ll do what—”
His lips swallowed my words. Why did it feel like it was the last kiss I’d ever get from his mouth? Panic swept through me as I poured every atom of love into my kiss, hoping to God that he’d understand how much I needed him. How much I loved him.
“I’m a worthless piece of shit. I’ve told you my story, so now you know. I'm a criminal—a killer, babe.” His voice dipped as he spoke the words. He was fighting for control. “I can never be worthy of you. I can never give you the life you deserve. As much as I hate the thought of you with Marcus, your parents are right. He is the best man for you. He can give you everything you need that I can’t.”
“You’re wrong. So wrong. Marcus can never give me what I need or want. I want you, Ryder.”
“Princess. You deserve so much more. Everyone is right. Even Harrison. I'm not good enough for you. And being with you places your life in danger. There are people who want to kill me. Well, after tonight, I’ll be an empty shell, so they can give it their best shot. But I will never place your life in danger. I just won't.”
“I'm begging you, Ryder. Please don’t do this . . .”