by Jani Kay
Over my dead fucking body.
“Who the fuck are you? And how did you get in here?” Cowboy yelled, clearly not happy about the intrusion.
A cough from the doorway had all three of us turn our heads. The burly bouncer that had shown us the way into the club was standing there, looking uncomfortable. He shrugged as he tried to explain. “He’s from the Scorpio Stinger MC. Ryder got me this job. So when he asked me to open this door for an emergency, of course I complied.”
“Well, get the fuck back to your station. Now. I’ll deal with you later.” Cowboy was losing his shit, but I wasn’t finished with him yet.
Fisting his shirt and twisting it so that Cowboy’s face was mere inches from mine, I growled. “Just ‘cause we have a deal with your brother, and because you probably didn't know that this is my woman, I'm letting you off this one time. But . . . if I even see you looking in her direction, never mind touching her again, I will cut off your dick and feed it to the birds. Got that, Cowboy?”
On the way up the stairs, Clive had filled me in on exactly who the fucking cowboy was I'd seen pawing Jade. And, luckily for him, he was still fully clothed. I guessed that I’d just made it up here in time.
Not many people would know about this security room, but fortunately, I remembered because Cowboy’s arrogant prick of a brother had shown it off when he gave us a tour around the place a few weeks ago. Doing business with the club had paid off.
When Jade just vanished in to thin air, I nearly lost my fucking mind. She’d acted completely out of character dancing like that, so I knew she was alcohol-fueled, and wasn’t thinking rationally. And the way the fucking Cowboy was all over her . . . I wanted to fucking make him bleed for that.
But there were more important things to deal with right now. I had to make it right with Jade. I was praying like fuck that she’d take me back—that I hadn’t fucked up completely, and that it wasn’t too late.
Christ, maybe she wanted Cowboy to screw her, and I was the one out of line here?
I squeezed my eyes shut for a few seconds as I dealt with that possibility. I'd royally fucked up this one precious thing by acting like a dumbass prick. I'd rejected the love she’d offered me, so I couldn’t blame her for moving on. But it would hurt like fuck.
“Ryder? Why are you here?” she whispered, her voice hoarse and shaky.
I shoved the cowboy hard so that he staggered backward, landing in a chair. Luckily he was not as dumb as he looked, ‘cause he just stayed there, his mouth gaping as he stared at us.
“I came for you, baby.” My voice cracked as I said the words. She had to know how I felt about her—that I wanted her with every fiber in my being. That I couldn’t breathe when I was away from her.
“You did?” She gasped, her beautiful eyes brimming with tears.
“Yeah.” I grinned, feeling like the idiot I was. “Don’t want to live without you, Princess. You’re what gives my life meaning . . . makes it worthwhile to get up in the morning. If I ain't got you, I ain't got anything.”
I pulled her into my arms and just stared into those pools of blue. I wanted to see the answers there—I wanted to look deep into her soul, and see if she still loved me as much as I fucking loved her. If she was just as lost without me.
What I saw made my heart leap with joy. Her eyes shone, not from her tears, but with unadulterated love. Fuck, how did I ever deserve this? A woman as perfect as Jade, loving me? But I would take it, and show my gratitude every day for this blessing that the universe had finally given me, by worshipping her.
“You’ve got some explaining to do, Biker Boy.” A small smile touched her lips. Fuck, she was going to make me pay. My lawyer girl was smart.
Taking hold of her chin, I raised her face to mine. Dipping my head, I brushed my lips over hers. Christ Almighty. This was what I’d been missing. Just the feel of her lips against mine and I was hard for her. She held my heart—and my life—in her small hands. Did she even understand the power she held over me? It would take me a lifetime to explain that to her.
A cough from the chair brought me back to the present. “Fuck me. The two of you are going to set this place on fire if you carry on like that.”
“You’re fucking lucky I have my woman to take care of, and don’t have time to kick your balls right now. Get us a room. Now,” I barked at him.
Above the club were a few guest rooms for VIP club members. Cowboy’s brother—who wore a similar king-sized cowboy hat—had proudly shown them off on our tour. No expense was spared to make them as luxurious as possible, so the prick had been bragging about all their features, including the expansive mirrors on the walls and ceilings.
While I was looking for Jade and Cowboy, I’d prayed that he hadn’t taken her to one of the guest rooms. Those would be harder to get into—I doubted that Clive would have the code to get in there. Something drew me to the security room instead. The pull was so strong, I had no choice other than to follow my gut instinct and go there instead of investigating other possibilities.
Had I made the wrong choice . . . I shuddered at the thought.
Hopefully one of the guest rooms was available, because I had to be alone with Jade. It couldn’t wait a minute longer. I had to tell her how I felt about her. Claim her back as my woman. Yeah.
“It’s your fucking lucky night I reserved one of the guest rooms for myself tonight. Take it. I know when I’m beaten.” Cowboy was fucking smarter than what I’d given him credit for. He withdrew a key card from his shirt pocket. “Here. Take the elevator to room 314. It’s all yours till the morning.”
I snatched the white plastic card from his hand and shot him a warning glance. He was still not off the hook—I'd keep a fucking eye on him, in case he got any ideas that my Princess was fair game. I wasn’t taking any chances again. I'd learned my lesson the fucking hard way.
Chapter 31 ~ Ryder
Beaming from fucking ear to ear, I couldn’t take my eyes—or hands—off Jade as we traveled up in the elevator, but I knew I had a lot of explaining to do, and that she wasn’t going to let me off lightly. After what I’d put her through, and the agony of still not knowing if she would take me back, I needed answers. I was going to have to bring my A-game tonight.
Jade had agreed to accompany me to the guest room, but that was no guarantee that I was home-free. No, I got the impression that she was that eager to get out of the claustrophobically small security room with the strange view, and that she would have agreed to anything if it meant her freedom.
That’s exactly why I was holding on to her arm with a steel-like grip as I steered her toward room 314. She’d bolted before; I wouldn’t be surprised if she tried it again. And fuck, I was getting tired of the cat-and-mouse game. I just wanted for us to be together. For-fucking-ever, and be done. The mechanics of how and where were less important than the reason why.
As I swiped the card, she stood at the door, rigid and unsmiling.
“This is a mistake. Thank you for saving me from an asshole again; it seems you are always there just when I need you most. But I must leave now. I just can't do this.”
“Princess,” I breathed, my heart sinking all the way to my heavy boots.
“Please don’t stop me. It’s best this way.” She stood on her toes and planted a soft kiss on my cheek. Then she turned and walked away. The elevator doors were still open, so she walked straight in and pushed the button. Her words had frozen me to the spot.
Please don’t stop me. It’s best this way.
How could I disrespect her wish? Fuck. What the hell was I supposed to do? Watch her walk away?
Before I could move or say anything the doors closed. The sadness in her eyes was the last thing I saw. Fuck. Did that mean she didn't love me anymore?
Yes, our worlds were completely different.
Yes, they had collided—badly.
Yes, we were up against the worst kind of odds—our very own families—who were tearing us apart. Not to mention my own special brand
of stupidity.
Fuck that shit.
It was time for Ryder Knox to fight for what he truly wanted. To fight for love, and happiness. To the very fucking end.
If Jade didn't love me anymore, I wanted to hear her say those words directly to me. I was done with the fear of losing her driving me to deny myself what my heart desired most. Why the hell did humans do that to themselves? Christ, I was my own worst fucking enemy.
It took me another ten seconds to mobilize myself. I flew down the stairs, two at a time. I had to stop her. I had to fight for her.
She was my woman, and she was worth fighting for.
Hell yeah.
I reached the bottom of the stairs and darted toward the elevator. Empty. Fuck.
Frantic, I ran around the lobby, trying to find where she’d gone. There was no time to waste. I needed to stop her, to tell her how much I loved her, even if she didn't love me, so that she could know she owned my heart . . . and my soul.
What she did with that knowledge would be up to her.
Out on the sidewalk, there was nothing but the normal city buzz. My throat tightened when I noticed the cab further down pulling away from the curb. There was nothing I could do. By the time I got to my bike, she’d be far away. I didn't even know where she’d go to. Mia had mentioned in passing that she’d moved out of her parent’s home.
I stood there, my heart shredded. Yeah, typical. Just when I’d thought things were looking up, they turned to shit. Why did it always fucking happen to me? I ran my fingers through my hair, suddenly tired as fuck. I was wiped out from the long journey I’d just returned from days ago. Wiped out from lack of sleep and worry. Wiped out that I'd lost the one thing that mattered to me most in life.
I’d lost everything, because Jade was all that I ever wanted. She made me whole.
Chapter 32 ~ Ryder
I had finally come to the darkest night in my life. Everything had collided and combusted; only embers were left burning.
Deflated, and tired to the bone, I remembered that in my mad dash to get to Jade, I'd left the guest room door wide open. Depleted, I shook my head and decided to get back up there and sleep off my fatigue, so that I’d be ready to make new plans in the morning. I knew that everything that seemed insurmountable in the darkness of the night somehow wouldn't appear as big an obstacle in the daylight.
Too shattered to care about anything, I rode the elevator back up to the third floor. It’d be too hard to even find my way back to the compound, so I was staying the night. I closed the door. The room was dark, but I couldn’t be bothered to find the light switch.
I pulled my boots off my feet at the entrance and threw them into the corner, and went in search of the bed. I needed to sleep. An exhaustion had come over me, like I'd never felt before. I simply couldn’t care about anything now that Jade had walked out of my life.
“Ryder?” Her voice floated softly across the quiet darkness.
Fuck. Now I was hallucinating. And I hadn’t touched a drop of booze or any substance, which meant that I was in a worse shape than I’d imagined. My eyes slowly adjusting to the darkness, I stumbled against what I presumed was the bed. I needed to lie down and close my fucking eyes.
I fell onto the bed, face first, arms stretched out.
“Ryder!” Her voice was louder; it sounded so fucking real I could scream. Princess was tormenting me, fucking with my mind. At this rate it would be impossible to fall asleep if I kept hearing her voice.
A soft hand on my shoulder made me jump. Fuck!
Never having believed in ghosts, I grabbed blindly in the direction of the voice, only to hear her laugh softly. I was definitely losing my mind. Jesus fucking Christ.
“You’re crazy,” the sweet voice whispered. Fuck, I couldn’t agree more. I was positively certifiable.
Her soft curves pressed into my hard body. I could even smell her. If this was indeed a dream, I didn't want to wake up. Ever.
“Go to sleep, baby, you’re so tired. Just go to sleep,” she whispered as she stroked my hair. Somewhere between consciousness and sleep, I knew this was real.
So this is what an out-of-body experience feels like.
She was here. I didn't know why or how. She was holding me, caressing me.
Loving me.
I was home.
***
I woke in the middle of the night with my body curled around Jade’s softness. At first I thought it was all part of the dream I’d had earlier. I stroked her hair, and kissed her neck. She moaned softly in her sleep.
She was fucking real.
We were both fully clothed, but it was good to just hold her. I had no idea that I could feel so much at peace by just having my woman in my arms.
Now that I’d had some sleep, I was feeling better. My eyes had adjusted to the darkness, and I could see Jade’s beautiful face in the light of the moon, her long lashes sweeping across her cheeks and her lips curved into a semi-smile even as she slept.
She stirred against me, opening her eyes, she looked straight at me. We stared in wonder at one another. Yes, we needed to talk, but right now, words were not needed. Even though we both understood just how difficult our lives could become if we chose to do this, we had to decide if it was what we really wanted—and then just go for it. Together. There was no other way.
Without a doubt, I was in. One hundred percent.
Chapter 33 ~ Jade
Ryder was staring at me in a way he’d never looked at me before. Usually his eyes were filled with lust, but now there was something different there. He let me look deep into his soul. Up until tonight he’d been pretty guarded, and he’d always kept his eyes hooded, to prevent anyone from seeing in. It was a protection mechanism that I’d seen Harrison use too, so I was very aware of it. It was simply their way of hiding their pain to the rest of the world.
Letting me see into his soul was a big deal for Ryder. He was so used to acting tough and ruthless all the time, never wanting to show weakness in case it was used against him, that it must have become a hard habit to break.
Maybe it was because he felt safe and loved that he was now willing to open up to me. It made me love him even more, knowing how hard it was for him to do.
“Hi,” I whispered into the dark. We were the only two people here, yet it felt wrong to speak loudly. It would break the magic of the moment.
“You came back. You didn't run.” Ryder’s voice was filled with wonder. Reverence even.
I nodded, a big lump in my throat. He kissed my forehead, softly, gently.
“Why, Princess? Why did you come back?”
“Because . . . because even though I know our worlds are so different . . . and it will be hard on us both . . . not to mention our families . . . I want us.” Ryder was a straightforward man, so I gave it to him straight.
He sighed. “Yeah, I know. But it will be worth it, don’t you think?”
I thought about his words before answering. It was flattering that he thought so. My heart swelled, and filled with so much love for this man that it was close to bursting.
“Yes, I guess so,” I replied carefully.
“Fuck, Princess. Here I’m ready to bust my balls and do battle for you, and all you can say is ‘I guess so’?”
I couldn’t help myself—a small giggle escaped my lips. My Ryder was back. The man who spoke his mind, and said what he thought in no uncertain terms.
God, I loved him.
“You’ll fight for me?” I asked, needing to reassure myself that I’d understood his intentions correctly.
“Fuck yeah . . . to the death, Princess. Because life without you ain't worth a damn.”
“Really?” I breathed.
A smile twitched at the corners of his lips. “Yeah, really. I want to be with you till the last breath leaves my body.”
Those words from this man’s lips were so beautiful—exactly what I needed to hear.
Small circles rubbed up and down my back, making me go limp in Ryder's ar
ms, but he had to clarify many things before I was satisfied. Especially after what he’d said before he left.
“Why the change of heart now, Ryder? What changed?”
He grinned sheepishly. “Woman, you are fucking exasperating. Cross-examining the witness till you have your answers.”
“I need to know, Ryder, otherwise I’ll always wonder. So if you tell me straight up, that eliminates a lot of second guessing.”
“Christ. I’ve often thought that you’d be the best lawyer in the state. But I was wrong.”
“What?” I asked, shocked at his words.
He chuckled. “Because you’re gonna be the best fucking attorney in the country.”
I laughed. “Pressure much? But that may just mean I’d have to prosecute your biker ass.”
“Not if I’m your husband. I won't allow it.”
I sucked in a breath. What did he mean?
“Yeah, don’t look so surprised. Cause I ain't ever letting you go after tonight. Deal with it.” His eyes were serious, not a trace of mockery to be seen.
“’The Princess and the Badass Biker’. I can just see that headline in the papers.” I joked, keeping it light. I didn't want Ryder to run scared if I used the L word again—certainly not like the way he bolted the last time I’d told him I loved him.
“You gave up on us, Princess. That hurt,” he said, taking me completely by surprise. Wasn’t he the one who walked away? He left the city and rode his bike more than a thousand miles to get away from me. Talk about hurting.
“Why do you say that?”
“Going off with Cowboy. You were going to let him fuck you if I didn't get there in time to stop it. Fuck, I'm going to spank that ass for putting me through such agony.”
My core clenched at the thought. A spanking from Ryder was erotic, and even though it hurt, he made good afterwards. I’d even risk his ire from time to time just to get a good spanking. Somehow it made the sex afterward even better, running the thin line between pain and pleasure.