When she finally found the houses and went inside one of them, Rebecca discovered something heartbreaking. Blood covered the floor of the kitchen. She found a man lying in a pool of blood a few feet away from the entrance. At first, she felt encouraged. This man wasn’t Max. What if he had escaped? Her mind ran wild with fantasies where Max would be coming back to her. When she stepped into the living room, her world was shattered, however. A man lay dead in the floor. He had been beaten beyond recognition, but his hair was the same color as Max’s. His height and build looked to be the same, too. Finally, she checked for the most obvious signs that this was Max. He was missing an ear, an eye, and a finger. Max had fought back, but it wasn’t enough. The love of her life was dead.
Rebecca collapsed to the floor and sobbed. For over a half hour, that’s all she could do as she stared at the only man she had ever truly loved. Finally, she crawled over to him and held Max’s head in her arms. He was gone. She had been too late, and now there was nothing that could be done. Rebecca didn’t know what to do. He looked cold. She knew she was only staring at an empty vessel, but even so, she had to keep him warm. Rebecca started a fire. Then she got some blankets from a closet and covered him up. Afterward, she sat by him and read his last words.
“Rebecca, I’m so sorry. I know they’re sending you parts of me, and that must be terrible. It would drive me crazy to know that there was someone hurting you and I couldn’t do anything about it. I should have found a way to protect everyone and stay alive, too. I couldn’t, though, and now I’m having the man who’s about to kill me write this for you.
How things have ended isn’t important. There’s something I want you to understand about our time together. It saved me. Before I knew you, I was married to a woman with a lot of problems. She was crazy. It wasn’t her fault, but I think it drove me nuts, too. When I killed her, I didn’t even remember it for years. I thought that I had killed her and my own daughter. In my eyes, I was the scum of the earth. There was no redemption. A monster like me didn’t deserve love, and I certainly wasn’t capable of loving anyone else. That’s what I thought back then. I was too far gone, and there was no going back to the person I used to be. Then I met you. It wasn’t love at first sight. I didn’t even know you, and I thought I was going to have to kill you. I viewed you as a threat, but something held me back. I didn’t want to hurt you or any woman ever again. Zoe helped me see what was right. Everything that I did in my past was wrong, but I had valid reasons for doing them. I was messed up, and after the disaster, I started healing. It’s probably odd because everyone’s lives stopped after that comet hit, but mine didn’t really start up again until that moment. I was sitting in a prison surrounded by thoughts of the worst thing that I had ever done. That was going to be my world until the day I died. You gave me love and a family. You showed me that I could be the man I used to be. Rebecca, you brought me back, and that’s a rare thing. Over the last two and a half years, we’ve seen people go through and do some horrible things, and they were changed forever. The old them was replaced by someone cold and loveless. That’s who I was, and by some miracle, you saw something good in me. I can never thank you enough for that. I love you. It probably seemed like I was saving you guys on our trip to Texas, but you were really the ones who saved me. I got to feel loved, give it in return, and even realized that my actions could be forgiven thanks to three special people. None of them were more special than you. You are my heart, and if I’m dead now, then you’re all that’s left of me. Make sure you love and guide Zoe and Liam in the way they should go. It’s going to be hard for them to live in this world their whole lives. It’ll be hard on you, too, but we both know you’re so much stronger than you look. Sometimes I think you’re the strongest of all of us. Zoe was affected by all of this. She lost her innocence. Liam wanted to die after his family was slaughtered, and then there was me. I was almost completely gone before we met. You, on the other hand, stayed composed through all of this. I had so much on me all the time, but you were the glue that held me together through it all. I’ll miss you. I know we’ll see each other again some day.
There’s one more note for you, but I don’t want you to read it now. I’m sure you’ll mourn, and you might even lose a part of yourself for a while, but when you start to feel like the old Rebecca again, I want you to read my last message to you. I hope that won’t take very long. It would be a shame if the woman I love weren’t herself for too long. I love you from here to eternity. Goodbye, my great love.”
“Damn it, Max! I came to get you! Why couldn’t you have just held out for a little longer?” Rebecca yelled and threw the notes down.
When she looked over at Max, she knew why he had to let go. He had been beaten so badly. There was no telling how much pain he was in before he tried to escape. Rebecca cried as she thought about what Max’s final hours were probably like.
After she collected herself, Rebecca walked into the kitchen and found some whiskey in a cabinet. Apparently, the scavengers of Raines didn’t bring everything back with them. It seemed like a good night for alcohol, so she took it back to the couch and drank as she read his other letters. He had left one for Zoe and Liam each. Zoe’s was very emotional to her.
“Zoe, I’m sorry I couldn’t see you grow up and marry Liam. I want you to know something, though. I’m proud of you. You’ve grown so much since we met. You had lost so much back then, and I was worried the world was going to permanently change you. It didn’t, though. You learned to be strong, but at the same time, you regained that innocence that was once gone. You learned to trust and love again. You meant the world to me. Wherever I am now, know that you still do. When I found you, I was on the edge of being a man I didn’t want to be. I didn’t join in with the killing of your friend’s family, but I didn’t stop it either. The only possible redemption I had left was in you. I saved you, and I’m so glad I did. You gave me my soul back on that day. I gained a daughter, too. I know I could never replace your dad, but you were definitely everything I had always dreamed of in a little girl. Zoe, you were a second chance for me. Along with the others, we made a family that against all odds, worked so well. Thank you for that. I love you. Please, be happy, and take care of Rebecca for me. She’s strong, but we loved each other so much. She’ll have a hard time. Be the rock for her that she was for me when I needed it most. Don’t forget to take time for yourself, too. The worst thing you could do is let my death lead you down a dark path. There is so much light in you that I think I caught a little of it for myself. Don’t ever let it go out. Goodbye, my daughter. I love you.”
Rebecca knew that she shouldn’t be reading his private words to the others, but she had to. These were Max’s last words. She wanted to know everything that had been on his mind as he took his last breaths. The final letter was to Liam.
“Liam, I wish I could be there for you. I feel like there was still so much I wanted to teach you. Who am I kidding, though? You’re a man now. You’ve become self-reliant, and you’re exactly the person Zoe needs. When we first met, I thought you were broken in an irreversible way. I’m sorry for that. I was once like you. I sat in a prison cell and contemplated if death would be easier than my reality. It took me years to get back to being who I was. It only took you a few days. You even saved me back at that house on the way to Texas. I’m so proud of you. I’ve never had a son before, but I think of you as one.
There’s something I have to ask you for. I’m not going to be there to give Zoe advice or comfort her in times of crisis. You’ve always been the one who makes her smile, and I’ve been the person she comes to for life lessons. I don’t expect you to know any more than she does, but here’s what I want. You need to walk through life with her and experience all the good and bad together. Learn how to live the most important parts of life together, and don’t forget to make time to just laugh, love, and be the amazing people you are. I love you. Goodbye for now.”
Rebecca folded the three letters and turned her attention toward
the last one. Max had said not to read it until she was over his death, but when was that ever going to be? Was it even possible for her to resume her normal life after he was gone? What was even normal for her? Before they met, she dedicated all of her time to work. He was the first person she actually took the time to love. Max hadn’t known it, but he was a light that pulled her out of a very dark place. Nothing could ever be all right now that she was back in that place.
“Rebecca, I know you’re reading this before you’ve gotten completely over everything. It’s okay. It’s just who you are. I probably wouldn’t be able to wait on reading a letter from you either. Listen closely because this is the most important thing I’ll ever tell you. You can get over everything that has happened to you. Everyone we loved died during the disaster, and we still made it out alive and formed new and even better relationships with each other. There’s always hope, and even if it hurts now, you’ll find someone you love just as much as me one day. That’s what I want for you. There’s this glimmer in your eyes at all times, and it gave me hope when we were together. Don’t let it slip away. Zoe and Liam are going to need all the good parts of you. I need you to be happy, too. I won’t be able to rest easy until I know you are.
What I’m going to say next sounds crazy, but I need you to at least consider it. Forgive Troy Leland and the people of Raines. Everything is settled now that I’m dead. He won’t bother you anymore. Peace is worth swallowing your pride. I know you probably want to kill him. I would, too, but it would be wrong. When hate creeps into our hearts, it can consume us. We’ll find that we’re totally different people one day because we allowed ourselves to give into the idea of revenge. I know. I’ve felt it, too. I don’t want you to lose yourself, though. Move on with your life. Never forget me and the love we shared, but let go of the hurt.
I don’t expect you to be able to let go in a day or even a month. I do want you to find forgiveness and peace within, though. It’s the only way you’ll be the beautiful and absolutely captivating person I fell in love with. I know you’ll get there soon. I love you, Rebecca. I wish I had some type of statement that would make it all better. I was never very good with words, though. That was your specialty. Here’s what I do have. I want you to take comfort in knowing that I’m in a world full of peace now. There are no storms, thieves, or murderers in rival towns. All that’s left is love. I’ll see you again in that place, too. I can’t wait. I love you, and just know that no matter what, I’ll always be thankful that I got to spend even the shortest of time with someone as wonderful as you.”
“I’m sorry, Max. There’s no going back to how things were. Maybe I’ll be able to rest after everyone in that town, including Troy Leland, is dead. For now, this is the best I can do. I do love you with all of me, though,” Rebecca said as she took another drink of whiskey.
The night passed by slowly as Rebecca simply stared at the ceiling and thought of times gone by. There could be no sleep on such a cold night. All that kept going through her mind was why she hadn’t made an escape earlier. She could have saved him. Wouldn’t Max have come for her immediately? What did it say that she had allowed herself to be imprisoned for two days? She could have killed those guards if she’d really wanted to, but she trusted in Matt Nolan’s plan instead. That was another man who had to die. His actions had also led to this. If she could infiltrate the town, then so could his men. He just didn’t find Max’s life valuable enough to risk anyone.
When the sun finally started to rise, Rebecca went to the backyard and found a storage building. She opened it to find a few tools that the scavengers from Raines didn’t think were valuable enough to take back. One of them was a shovel with a handle that was starting to rot. It would have to do for what she had planned. Rebecca walked to the middle of the yard and started digging. As she did, the sun got brighter, and the temperature increased until it was almost unbearable. She didn’t stop, though. Max deserved a proper burial, and she was going to lay him to rest.
By the time Rebecca was done, she was covered in sweat. With barely any energy left, she dragged Max’s body out to the hole and laid him in the ground. Then she cried while she stared at him in his final resting place. Rebecca knew what she needed to do. All that was left was to cover him with dirt, but that was saying goodbye forever. How could she do that after all they had been through?
When there were no tears left, she stood and did what she had to do.
“Max, I love you. I’ll try to be the person you saw me as after I get revenge for what they did to you. Rest peacefully. I’ll see you again sooner than you think. Thank you for being the great love of my life,” she said and started covering him with dirt.
As she did, the world grew darker and colder. By the time she was done, all that was left was a stinging chill and a darkness that had completely clouded her eyes. Max had been her light in every possible way, and now that he was in the ground, she was blind. She walked into the house and cried herself to sleep knowing that soon she would have to transform into something totally different than herself in order to make the people responsible for Max’s death pay. Soon Rebecca was going to become one with the hate and grief stewing inside her, and those responsible would feel all the pain that had buried itself inside her.
Chapter 27
A Shell
Back in Norak, they were about to leave for the fight. Before Liam could, Zoe stopped him and wrapped her arms around him.
“You better come back to me. We don’t know where Rebecca is. She could be dead, and Max’s fate is looking worse by the minute. I can’t lose you, too,” she said.
“You haven’t lost anyone. We’re going to rescue Max, and I’m sure Rebecca is fine. She’s probably just laying low somewhere right now. I’ll find her and bring her back, too.”
“Okay, I trust you. Just keep your head low, and don’t try to be a hero. They tend to end up dead.”
“No worries there. I learned from the same person you did. Max taught me how to survive, and that’s exactly what I’m going to do. We’ll be back by tomorrow. Hopefully we can finish things up even sooner than that. I love you,” Liam said and gave her a goodbye kiss.
As he walked away from Zoe, he doubted the promises he made. There was no guarantee that Max was even alive, and Rebecca should have been back by then. She had probably been found. Even if they were successful in the battle, how was he going to break the news that two of the people they loved most were dead? He sighed and looked down. As he started to get into a vehicle with another man, Matt saw him. He noticed that he looked defeated already. That wouldn’t do for the fight they were headed into.
“You’ll ride with me,” he told Liam.
“Why? I disagreed with everything you said yesterday. I would think you would want me as far away from you as possible.”
“It’s true. I probably should, but there’s value in men who speak their mind, even if they are a little young. We have some things to talk about. I think you need to hear what I have to say. Come on.”
“Do I have a choice?”
“Nope. It’s an order.”
Liam got into the back of the Humvee with him, and as the driver was taking them to Raines, they talked about everything that could happen when they arrived. Matt talked strategy, but Liam didn’t seem to be responsive. He neither showed enthusiasm or his usual disagreement. Liam was just blank.
“All right. What’s going on with you? You’ve barely said two words since we left,” Matt said.
“I don’t think your strategy is perfect, but it should work. I’m too distracted to think about it, though. We both know that Max is probably dead, and Rebecca hasn’t come home. Something probably happened to her, too. I don’t know how I’m going to break the news to Zoe when I know for sure. For that matter, I can’t imagine a world without them. I was really lost at one time. I just wanted to die. They helped me through it, though. I owe Max and Rebecca my life, and if they’re gone, I can never repay that debt. Plus, I’ve been thinking abou
t you. It doesn’t seem like we’re living in much of a democracy now. The majority of people being marched to war are doing it against their will. Some of them are no older than fourteen. I’m not complaining because I would be here no matter what, but this isn’t what we envisioned when we broke away from Raines.”
“I can see why you’re distracted. Let me start by telling you that your suspicions about Max and Rebecca are likely true. I should tell you to hold out hope, but that will only lead to more hurt. They’re dead, and the only people you and Zoe have left are yourselves. We live in a harsh world, and that’s the new reality. People die. That’s why this society can’t be how you originally envisioned it. Norak needs a strong leader who can make the tough decisions. I’m leading many people to their deaths today, and I’m not doing it without great thought. These people will die today so that no one ever has to face a threat from Raines again. You see, I’m saving lives in the long run. A town with choice would decide to delay this fight, and everything would be worse in the future. It takes one man calling the shots to get things done, especially in a time of crisis. Do you understand?”
“I think so. I can’t say I agree with your perspective about ruling people, but at least in times of war, it seems like there should be a person or group of people that can make the hard decisions for everyone. I just hope things will go back to the way they were before when all of this is over.”
The Divide: Origins Page 25