She chewed her lip. "Okay. But call me if it's not too late when you're done. Okay?"
"Alright," he said. "Bye."
"Bye-bye," she said, and sat staring at the cellphone for a long moment after the connection ended.
The next day Miles was a little less hostile when she called him, but was out on stand-by late again.
The day after that, she waited until late morning, but reached him on the first call.
"I miss you," she said.
"I miss you too," he replied, though it sounded like a grudging admission.
"Do you forgive me?"
"I forgive you, Shauna, but I don't understand this. If you don't want me to get fresh with you in public, okay. I'll try to be more chaste. But don't diss me like I got some kind of disease."
"I'll explain everything," she promised. "You deserve one. I'm so sorry. We still need to talk more about boundaries, maybe. But right now I just want to see you. Can we spend some time together tonight?"
"I'm on stand-by, Shauna."
"You can go if you get called out--I'll understand. But just spend some time with me, okay?"
"If we're in the middle of a movie or dinner or whatever, and they call me--"
"Come to my place," she interrupted. I'll cook dinner and we can watch a video or something. If you get called out we can pause the movie and re-heat the leftovers later when you get back."
"What about Katina?"
"She likes you."
"Don't you have to shuffle her off to somebody?"
Shauna took a deep breath. "She doesn't understand everything, but I want her to know that you and I are together." She lowered her voice to a conspiratorial tone. "Her bedtime is ten and she's a heavy sleeper."
"Meaning what?" he asked, hopefully.
She had him hooked, now, and her confidence grew. "Meaning if we decide to do something that, you know, makes a lot of noise...she won't wake up."
Katina was, in fact, already in bed before Miles came in from his stand-by jobs that night. Shauna warmed up the lemon chicken she had baked for them earlier, and they feasted without much conversation. Afterwards, she set towels out for him and invited him to use her shower, which he did.
When he emerged from the bathroom in sweatpants and T-shirt, hair still wet, she cuddled up with him on the couch and played A Bronx Tale on the DVR.
She interrupted Robert DeNiro's dialog to ask Miles about his day, and got a conversation going. Eventually, though, Miles reminded her of the promise to explain her standoffish behavior at the office.
Rather than deliver on the promise, she seduced him. She started by slipping her hand under his shirt and up his stomach. She enjoyed his shiver, then devoured his mouth. She pulled his shirt off, then straddled him and removed her own. When she unfastened her bra, let it drop, and pulled his face into the twins, he was at her mercy.
Men were so easily distracted from what they thought was important, when you fueled their lust.
She kept her breasts in his face and rode him to climax right there on the couch. Soon thereafter he was unconscious. Slain and loving it. She watched more of the movie for a little while, then lay beside him and closed her own eyes.
Miles' Nextel beeped after four a.m. An apologetic dispatcher gave him an address and some job details. He dressed and left, with a peck on her cheek.
She missed him immediately, but took comfort knowing he would come back to her. Not only had the sex been satisfying, she relaxed from the relief of successfully dodging his inquiry.
She didn't want to explain her own behavior. Moreover, she didn't completely understand it herself.
Shauna still felt the sting of what Jenny and Brad said, but being with Miles soothed her raw spot somewhat. And she had no right to take it out on him when somebody else dogged her. She needed to tell him what happened.
She didn't get the chance for the next couple nights.
On the night before the day the picnic was scheduled, Clarence called.
"What time you want me to come get you?" he asked.
Shauna bit her lip. She'd forgotten about this. She didn't want to go with Clarence. "Are you sure you want to go?"
"Hey, I took the day off so I could take you."
"I know," she said, apologetically. "Why don't we drive separately--meet me at the park around two?"
"Whatever, girl," he said, and they hung up.
As if orchestrated by some cosmic practical joker, Miles called not one minute later.
"We forgot to make arrangements for the picnic," he said. "You're still going, right?"
"Um, yeah..." she said.
"You want me to pick you up at the office or your apartment?"
She stuttered and stammered, heart banging wildly in her chest. Should she just tell him they should drive separately, then play Clarence off as some casual friend? Well, that's all he was now, but he was still her date for the picnic. She would wind up offending one or both of them if she tried that, and she didn't want to play games, anyway. Besides, with Clarence as her date, she could postpone revelation of her relationship with Miles a little longer.
23
Miles parked his van in the driveway and was unlocking his front door before Shauna finally answered.
"Um, Miles, we have to go separately."
"We do?" He froze in the doorway, Nextel to his ear, wondering what was up with this girl now.
"See, the thing is, before you and I got together, I arranged to go with somebody else."
The feeling was not a pleasant one: fear that only somebody you care about can cause. A cold wave slithered down his body. His brain felt as though it was being squeezed. Absently, he shut the door behind him and stumbled to the nearest seat. "Somebody else?"
"Yes," her voice answered. "I'm sorry. I would rather go with you. Really. But I promised them, before you and I ever got close."
"Them?" he asked. He wondered if it was a posse of girlfriends like Celeste, and she was suffering the Embarrassed-By-WhiteBoyfriend Syndrome again.
"Just a friend. A casual friend," she said.
Now the chill gave way to the heat of angry realization. "Is it another guy, Shauna?"
"It's a guy, but not 'another' guy," she replied.
He leaned back, pulling at his hair and struggling to keep his voice quiet and even. "After all your talk about wanting to make us 'exclusive,' you want to go out with another guy."
"No, Miles, no! I don't want to go with him--"
"Then don't," he snapped. "Are you with me or not?"
"I'm with you," she insisted, with a pleading tone. "But I promised him."
"Then work it out, Shauna. Explain it to him."
"He took the day off work so he could do this."
Miles sighed, shaking his head. "Let me just guess what color this guy is."
"Miles, it's not about color!"
"He's black, right?"
"He's black, but that has nothing to do with it. We made these plans before you and me ever met. He took the day off to take Katina and me. It would be rude to stand him up now, just because I met you. He's just a friend--nothing serious."
"What do you mean, nothing serious?" he demanded. "You date this guy when you're not out with me? Were you out with him the other night when you didn't want to see me?"
"Miles, what are you talking about? I've been calling non-stop for the last few days! A couple days ago you spent the night and we made love in my living room. When did I not want to see you?"
"The night before the morning I brought you flowers," he said, bitterly. "You know: the morning you didn't want to admit you knew me."
"I...you surprised me," she stuttered.
"It's obvious you didn't want me around," he said. "You were afraid somebody would guess we're together, as usual, but there was something else going on, too. I'm not an idiot."
"No, you're not," she said. "I was...it's just that...um..."
"Are you dating this guy, Shauna?"
"Who? Clarence? No
! Not anymore."
He pulled harder on his hair. "Not anymore. So you dated him before."
"We're just friends now, Miles."
"Have you slept with him?"
She took entirely too long to answer. "I only sleep with you."
"Bullshit!" he bellowed. "You and your friend are so worried that I'm a player, you have to play games and show up at my house unannounced to catch me in a lie or catch me with another girl. Then you tell me you don't want us to see other people. Then the company picnic comes along. We both have to be there, and we're seeing each other, so stupid me figures we might as well go together. But no--you want somebody your own color. You dated him, had sex with him, but it's 'nothing serious.' Why should I be upset about it?"
"Miles, it's not like that. And this is just the Avcom picnic. They're a mandatory pain-in-the-butt, anyway."
Overcoming "You're right, Shauna. The Avcom picnic has always been lame and I dreaded going. But this time I thought you and me would be together, so I was actually looking forward to it."
"I'm sorry," she said. "I wish I hadn't asked him, but I didn't know..."
"Are you going with me or with him?"
She stuttered some more. "Are you...giving me an ultimatum?"
"I just wanna know who you're going with," he said.
"I told you, Miles: I'm sorry, but I already..."
He closed the Nextel, uninterested in whatever else she had to say. It rang almost immediately. Shauna calling back. He turned the ringer volume down to zero, and undressed on his way to the shower. Just before he stepped under the stream of water, he heard the house telephone ringing.
Fresh out of the shower, he checked the caller ID and voice mail. Shauna had left two messages, but he didn't play them. He checked his Nextel to see if the stand-by dispatchers had called, then turned on the TV. He tried to finish watching a documentary he had recorded, but couldn't concentrate on it.
Only a few days after being so convinced this deal with Shauna was serious and permanent...another guy.
Maybe he was overreacting. He was taking the whole thing too serious. It was too early to be anything but casual.
He felt way too angry, scared, jealous and betrayed for somebody in a casual relationship.
As if summoned by his cognitive thread, Rita called.
"Guess who's back in town!" she sing-songed.
"Hey, Rita. How was your trip?"
"It was all right., but I'm horny as hell," she said. "Think you could help me with that?"
"I'm on stand-by," he said. "It's like twenty-four hour call."
"Then bring your van. I'll be your first call. I'm having a problem with my cable that desperately needs fixed. Make sure you bring your tools."
Normally he would have chuckled, but he wasn't in good humor at the moment.
"Let me put it this way, big boy," Rita purred, "while I was out of town I did some shopping at Frederick's of Hollywood. I'm wearing what I bought, and if you come over right now, I'll let you take it off me."
"I'll be right over."
He replayed the sound of her cackling in his mind to drown out his other thoughts.
24
Shauna met Clarence at the park, and they went to the food tables together with Katina. She kept an eye out for Miles, unsure whether she wanted to see him or not.
When she did spot him, he was far across the picnic area, across from a white couple, seated beside an older white woman. He was eating, seemingly oblivious to everything around him. He didn't appear angry, but he sure wasn't very animated. The white woman kept laughing and touching him, like she knew him. Or wanted to know him.
Miles wasn't flirting back, but the scene bothered her just the same.
Shauna forced herself to look away. She would have to deal with this later. She couldn't very well ignore Clarence the whole day while worrying about Miles.
She didn't see him again for quite a while. The softball tournament began, and Shauna pitched her team to victory in the first couple five-inning games. Then her team was matched up against Denny's. On her team's first at-bat, she noticed Miles on the pitcher's mound. He struck out Jenny and another CSR with a fast underhand ball, and then Shauna was at the plate.
"I thought you were going to be second base," she called to him, hoping her acknowledgement of their familiarity would make up for some of her previous cold-shoulders.
Miles didn't answer, except with a streaking softball. Shauna wasn't even set to swing. "Strike one!" the umpire called.
"We needed his arm on the mound," Denny, the catcher, told her. "We've got somebody good enough on second and shortstop."
"Okay, Sneaky," she intoned to Miles, "try to sneak another one by!"
Miles flung it. She stepped in and swung. There was a metallic pinging sound, then the ball was spinning on the ground at her feet.
"Foul ball," the umpire said. "Strike two."
"Hey, you got a piece of it," Denny said. "Looks like you've played this game before."
Shauna nodded. "I've got your number now, Miles."
Miles finally replied, as he caught the ball from Denny. "Choke up on that bat, Shorty. Should we get you a tee?"
"Don't open that mouth too wide," she retorted, drawing laughter from her teammates.
Miles slung another bullet. She noticed his wrist twist at the last second--that's where that wicked spin was coming from.
Shauna stepped in, swung, and heard the ball smack into Denny's glove behind her.
"Strike three! You're out!"
Shauna examined the bat, looking for the hole in it she just knew must be there. The techs on Denny's team jeered and catcalled as she fetched her glove and strode to the mound. Miles didn't so much as look at her.
Her trash-talking had been playful, but when he joined in, there had been something vicious about it. She had really angered him by coming with Clarence. Well, she would just have to make the best of the situation and try making it up to him afterward.
Shauna had a slow pitch with a high arc. The first batter hit a grounder and got on first. The next tech hit an infield fly and was out. Another tech hit a double, and now she had runners at second and third.
Miles came up to bat.
"Ooh, revenge is sweet!" she shrilled, halfway hoping she could coax a laugh, or at least a smile, out of him. His expression remained blank.
Miles let her first pitch go without even flinching.
"Strike one!" the umpire said.
The CSRs hooted and jeered at Miles.
"Try not to cry when I send you all slumped-over back to the dugout," Shauna chided, before her windup for the next pitch.
She threw a perfect, arcing ball.
Miles smashed it into the next zip code.
Overcoming Now Denny's team was even louder and more boisterous than before. Shauna's team was behind three-zero.
The score was five-zero going into the next inning. Seven-zero going into the third after Miles popped another homer.
Finally somebody caught one of Miles' pitches flush. The danger of throwing so straight in softball was the distance someone could swat it good if they did get a hit. This one went streaking into center field and the batter made it to second base after a bungling play on the ball by the outfielders. The inning finished with that runner still on base and the team still scoreless after Brad struck out for the fourth time, Jenny clipped a pop-up fowl right to the catcher, and Shauna's weak grounder beat her to first base.
She didn't bother with the playful trash-talking the next time Miles came to bat. All business, she tossed her best Sunday pitch at him. Miles crushed it and walked around the bases.
The game ended in a twelve-runs-to-one rout, and Shauna's team was out of the tournament.
When she approached the bleachers, Clarence snickered. "How you gonna talk all that smack, then can't back it up, Shauna?"
Shauna ignored this, accepting a hug from Katina.
"You did real good, Mommy."
"Thanks, ba
by-girl."
"Did you see how far Miles made the ball go?"
"He hit that thing like he's on a mob payroll," Clarence quipped.
They escorted Katina to the bouncy bin and watched her play with the other kids for a while. They went back to the tables for dessert and drinks, then returned to the diamond to watch the final game of the tournament between Denny's team and the audit crew.
This time, Shauna noticed the older white woman in the crowd...the one who had been flirting with Miles. She cheered every time Miles made a good play or hit.
Shauna wanted to sit next to her, initiate a conversation, find out how she knew Miles...but kept herself planted between Katina and Clarence, unable to concoct a plausible justification.
The woman was attractive, though perhaps a victim of excessive sun exposure. She also had a dynamite figure under her blue skirt and blouse. Shauna didn't like her at all.
The auditors won the game six-to-five, and the picnic began to wind down.
Shauna asked Clarence to watch Katina while she went to the restroom. When she emerged from the ladies room, rather than rejoin Clarence right away, she wandered in the opposite direction, on the lookout for Miles.
When she found him, his tongue was tangled with the white woman's on a picnic blanket by the pond.
They never knew she was there. Their French-kissing made wet smacking sounds, and the woman moaned sensuously, her hand resting high on Miles' thigh. Shauna turned and fled as fast as she could move without running.
Willing herself not to cry, she found Clarence and Katina, then, complaining of a sudden menstrual emergency, begged his forgiveness while insisting she must hurry home.
At the apartment she heroically put on a super-cheerful act for Katina while urging her to stay sequestered in her room to play, then retreated to her own room and broke down.
25
After crying herself ragged, Shauna stirred up her courage and gave Miles a call. No answer on his home phone. She tried his Nextel, and got no answer there, either.
She considered driving to his house to confront him. But what if that slut was with him? Or what if they were both at her place, wherever that was? She felt a stab in the heart just conceiving such possibilities.
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