I was the same with Hayden’s family. They were upper-crust Potomac types who expected perfection at all times. Their son was a doctor, but he slummed it in the ER when he should have been a neurosurgeon or even better, a lobbyist like his father and brother. The first time I met them I let the digs against me slide, but the moment they started in on Hayden, World War III began. I didn’t give two shits what they said about me, but they sure as hell weren’t going to disrespect the man I cared about. After I ripped into them and stormed out, Hayden came to me in tears. Not because of what I did, but because he was terrified they’d driven me away. No one had ever stuck up for him like that before. That was the night I realized I was really, truly in love with him. So I knew where Gia was coming from and didn’t fault her one bit. I just prayed their love story had a happier ending than mine did.
And I swore to whoever was listening that I’d do all in my power to make sure it would.
Chapter 7
The interview with Gia drained me almost as much as the fight with Merrill, and it wasn’t even noon when I pulled into the McDonald’s parking lot for my next interview. Kevin Perry seemed eager to speak with me when I called him but only had a half-hour lunch, so he suggested we meet at the McDonald’s across the street from the plastics plant. I ordered a coffee and found a booth to stew in.
That stuff about Billy’s anger and sadness toward me stung like a motherfucker to the point it was actually physically hurting me. I hadn’t a clue my own brother held such animosity and resentment toward me for leaving town. I always knew I would go to college. It happened sooner than usual, since I took the GED at sixteen, then started community college. I was living in a dorm at Penn State Altoona by seventeen and never lived in Grey Mills again. It wasn’t as if I’d never gone back full stop. I came home for Christmas if I wasn’t working, but I did work or attend school through summers and other holidays. I had a mission. A calling. My family knew that. And if Billy called or emailed, I always replied. If he’d ever asked for money—he never did—I would have given it. I just had a busy life. I barely had time for my husband and we lived in the same house, forget making time for someone in another state.
I understood the real reason for his anger. Deep down he wasn’t mad at me, he was mad at himself. He never had any drive. He was always a go-with-the-flow guy. He never planned for the future, never had any real goals or a mission. All he ever wanted was to be loved. He didn’t even have hobbies, beyond reading comic books and going to the movies. For a time he wanted to be a veterinarian, but like me he wasn’t great at science or math. I know he tried to enlist in the Air Force, but his heart condition stopped that notion. Since high school he’d always worked odd jobs, from janitor to retail to working the line at the plastics plant. But he always seemed content. I did push him to go to college or at least vocational school, but he never did. Could I have done more? Probably. But that went for him too.
As I sipped my coffee, I took the time to check my emails so I could stop obsessing about my brother. Most were from Miranda, with more press offers and reaction quotes to stories about my book deal. When I returned to my grandparents’ home I would have to write her back. No to all the press, even CBNN until I had a signed contract with them. I also planned to send Gia two grand so she wasn’t out on the street. Call me a hopeless romantic, but I thought that once I unwashed Billy’s brain he’d want to rekindle their love affair. I gave them fifty-fifty odds. Crazier things had happened in the love department. Where there was love there was hope.
While I contemplated how to get Gia to take the money without her pride getting in the way, my phone rang. My already emotionally overtaxed self almost choked on my coffee when I saw who was calling. I actually couldn’t answer for two rings because I couldn’t breathe from the choking. I was still coughing when I answered and said, “Hello? Luke?”
“Iris? Are you okay?” he asked with concern.
“Yeah. Yeah. Coffee went down the wrong tube. I’m good. I’m okay.” I took a deep breath to regain my composure. “Okay. Better. Hi! How are you? How…are you?” My voice was higher than normal. I sounded like Minnie Fucking Mouse.
“I’m good. I’m good. I got roped into helping on a kidnap right after we last spoke and haven’t had a moment to myself in two days.”
So that was why he didn’t call back and sent that short text message. He wasn’t angry, he was just busy. That realization released at least half the tension I’d been holding in. “Oh. Good. Well, not good, but…I was worried you were mad at me for cancelling our…outing.”
“Mad? Why would I be mad? I was actually relieved,” Luke said.
My tension spiked again. “Relieved? Why?”
“That you beat me to the punch. I was going to have to cancel on you.”
“Oh. Well, you know me—I really don’t mind being the bad guy,” I chuckled nervously. “Better me than you.”
“Please. You only wish you were a bad guy. You barely have a bad bone in your body.”
“Still have one or two more than you,” I pointed out. “So you aren’t mad at me? Really?”
“No. It was mostly just…disappointment. I was really looking forward to…the symphony.”
“Me too,” I said sadly. “God, me too, Luke. You have no idea.”
We were both silent for a few seconds before he cleared his throat. “So, uh, what’s going on? You were vague in your voicemail. You’re in Grey Mills for a minor family emergency? Something with your brother?”
Yeah, I’d actually upgraded it to a moderate emergency the night before, but he didn’t need to know that. “My brother ran away from home to become a hippie farmer or something and took all his and his fiancée’s money with him. I’m trying to track him down.” Not a total lie. He didn’t need to know about the more nefarious elements of the situation. He had enough to worry about at work.
“What?” Luke chuckled.
“Oh, it gets better. I discovered he got a girl pregnant and married her the day we talked. I just had to tell his ex-fiancée and still have to tell my mother.”
“Oh, I’m sure Faye’s going to take that news well,” Luke said with a scoff.
He and Mom never really clicked; probably because at my wedding she told him to respect my marital vows and warned him to never put himself in a position where I would have to choose between him and my husband. Then when I was in the hospital after Hayden’s death, I found out she wouldn’t let him in to see me and proceeded to shout the hospital down, claiming it was his fault, and said he was a vulture circling me now that Hayden was out of the way. She was just terrified and lashing out, and part of Luke knew that, but I was sure it still hurt him. How could it not?
“Yeah, she’s not currently talking to me after last night’s histrionics. I deigned to agree with the police that Billy’s an adult and can become a hippie farmer if he so chooses.”
“She yelled at you?” Luke asked harshly. “She has no right to get angry at you. None. Pardon my language, but screw her.”
“It wasn’t just the police thing,” I said before sighing. “It was about how I never called, never wrote, I barely know my stepfather, my stepbrothers, and Billy’s ex-fiancée. How I almost died, again, and how worried she was about me during Shepherd. I mean, she’s not wrong. Even before Meriwether I all but ignored them. The last time I was back here was her wedding, and I had to leave before the reception was over to get back to work. My brother got engaged and pregnant and I had no clue.”
“It’s a two-way street, Iris. With something that big, someone should have thought to tell you,” Luke said.
“But what does it say that they didn’t?” I countered. “They thought I wouldn’t care. And they were probably right, at least for the past two years.”
“And they could have—hell, should have—driven down to check on you and kick your butt.”
“I pushed them away, Luke. I said horrible things to all of them, screeched my head off so they’d leave me alone.”
“Come on,” I said. “You’re more my family than anyone. What did my students call it? You’re my person? My bae?”
“Bae?”
“It stands for ‘before anyone else.’ Ride or die. You already proved the ‘or die’ part,” I scoffed.
His end was silent for a second. “You really think that about me? I’m…your family?”
“Of course I do. You’re my best friend, Luke. You were the maid of damn honor at my wedding. Hell, even when we were on the outs, I don’t think that ever changed. Deep down I always knew you were just a phone call away. And you obviously thought the same or you wouldn’t have shown up in North Carolina asking for help. If I’m not your best friend, who is? I’ll have to challenge them to a duel.”
Luke chuckled, which made me grin too. “Okay, fine. You’re my best friend. You’re my…family. No duel required.”
“Good. Glad we settled that. You are unofficially a Ballard, you poor, poor bastard.”
“Guess that makes you unofficially a Hudson. My parents will be thrilled. I think they like you more than me anyway.”
“Really? Even after I almost got you killed?”
His end was quiet again for several seconds. “You didn’t almost get me killed, Iris,” he finally said solemnly. “I knew what could happen. I made the choice not to wait for backup. You shouldn’t feel at all responsible for what happened with Shepherd. Do you hold me responsible for him breaking in and assaulting you? Because if I’d listened to you, listened to my own gut, he wouldn’t have…” He couldn’t finish.
“Wait. Do you blame yourself for that night?” I asked, genuinely shocked. “That’s crazy, Luke. The only person I blame is Shepherd. You saved my life. You ran into my house to face off with a serial killer knowing full well you could die. I don’t blame you, Luke. I…I feel like I should give you my first-born child or something. Although if I remember correctly, I already promised you my first two. But don’t you dare, dare waste a moment with regret or guilt over that night. You were my knight in shining fucking armor. You’re a hero. And anyone who beats up my best friend, my hero, has to answer to Iris Ballard. And from what I’m told she is one scary bitch.”
“Maybe, but she’s got a soft side too. In fact I’d say she’s all heart. Not that she would want others to see it or admit it even to herself. But she is the kind of woman who cancels plans with what I’m told by total strangers on the street now—thank you very much for that—is the sexiest FBI agent in America to go to a town she hates because her ungrateful mother asked her to.”
“She sounds like a moron,” I quipped.
“The two are not mutually exclusive,” he said, I’m sure with a smirk.
We both chuckled at that. “Oh, I needed a laugh. You have no idea.” It was also nice to have someone completely in my corner, defending me even from myself. “I haven’t even been here forty-eight hours and I’ve already been yelled at by Mom, passive-aggressively sparred with my half-sister at Starbucks while the mean girls from high school watched, and just been informed that my brother essentially hates me as much as Merrill does, if possible.”
“You’ve been busy,” he said.
And that was just what I could tell him. “This one kind of cool thing happened, though. One of the mean girls apologized for tormenting me.”
“Really? Did you accept?”
“Yeah. In fact, besides the blips with Mom and my sperm donor’s demon seed, everyone’s been really nice.”
“And you’re surprised?” he chuckled. “Iris, you’re a national hero. You’re the best—heck, the only—good thing that came out of that town. You were even before all the press coverage. I’m shocked they haven’t put a crown on your head and declared you princess.”
“Princess Iris Ballard would be an improvement over my last title, Abortion Whore.”
“That was twenty years ago. I’m sure they’ve forgotten about that.”
“Merrill hasn’t. I’m sure she’s calling all her cronies to remind them right now. Although I do take far too much satisfaction in the fact it must fucking destroy her how far I’ve come. Is that wrong? Is that evil?”
“After what she did to you all those years? It’d only be evil to shoot her.”
“Well, I’ve only been here a day. It could still happen.”
“Fine. Just don’t expect me to drive up and help you hide the body,” he said.
“Excuse me? As my person it is your contractual duty to help me cover up my murders. Read bylaw twelve if you don’t believe me,” I said jokingly.
He was silent for a second. “Pretty sure I’ve met that particular clause already a couple years ago at the FBI inquest, remember?”
Shit. I hung my head. “Yeah, I, uh, didn’t ever thank you for that, did I?”
“I believe the last time it came up, you said you were glad you never did right before you threw an ashtray at my head.”
I cringed at the memory. “Then I guess I owe you a thank-you and an apology.”
“You don’t owe me a thing, Iris.” He paused. “Except your first two children. Those I intend to collect on,” he said in jest.
I chuckled. “Okay then, Rumpelstiltskin, they’re yours.”
I could practically feel his smile on the other end of the line. “I’m here if you need me, you know. Day, night, always, forever.”
“I know. And I appreciate it more than words can say.” A tall, thin man walked into the restaurant and began scanning the space, smiling nervously when he spotted me. “Luke, I have to go. My appointment’s here.”
“Oh. Okay,” he said, not hiding his disappointment. The feeling was more than mutual.
“I’ll call you later. Get some rest,” I said.
“You stay sane. Give my best to your grandparents. And I guess your mother too. Bye.” He hung up.
“Agent Ballard?” the thin man asked as he reached me. He had to be Kevin Perry. The man was about my age, with medium-brown hair pulled into a short ponytail and a pockmarked face. I had him pegged as a former meth-head if not current. When he smiled and I saw he had a few missing teeth in the back, I knew my initial assessment was accurate.
“It’s not ‘Agent’ anymore. Just plain old Iris to any friend of my brother’s,” I said with a smile back.
“Okay,” he said nervously. “Mind if I grab something to eat before we start? I only have twenty-five minutes left for my break.”
“Of course. Go ahead.”
Kevin nodded before heading to the counter. I took the moment to call the sheriff as I’d planned to before Luke phoned. He picked up on the third ring. “Sheriff Hancock.”
“It’s Iris. Just wanted to make sure you got my prints. You were out when I stopped by again.”
“Joyce gave me the cups, yes. I’m going to need probably a day to get through them all.”
“No problem. I’m meeting with a former member now. I’ll see what else he can give me.”
“Just be careful, Nancy Drew. And don’t do anything illegal. I’d hate to have to arrest our hometown hero.”
“You know, someone suggested perhaps I should be crowned the Princess of Grey Mills for all my good works and deeds. Think you can make that happen?” I asked.
“Yeah, because your ego’s not inflated enough without a title,” Hancock retorted.
“Just something to bring to the mayor.”
“Call me tonight for an update, your highness,” he chuckled. “Bye.”
“Bye,” I chuckled.
Okay, my conversation with Luke definitely lifted my spirits after Gia. I no longer felt like a neglectful, selfish piece of shit. Guess that’s why we were best friends. He knew what to say to make it all better. I hoped I’d returned the favor. I just couldn’t believe he blamed himself for the Shepherd attack. Of course I never blamed him. And the fact that he spent even a second in pain because he thought I did
hurt my heart. Here I’d been beating myself up for him getting shot while trying to save me, and all the while he was blaming himself for the whole event. We were so damn alike in a lot of respects. Always had been.
We actually met the same day I met Hayden. I’d gone to D.C. to finalize my paperwork as a new agent when Luke Hudson walked into the reception area of HQ. Not being blind, I was first struck by how gorgeous he was, but I was so damn nervous about the final FBI hurdle that I simply registered his good looks before returning to pretending to read my book. He sat across from me, his leg jittering from his own nerves and constantly clearing his throat. After about thirty seconds of that annoying noise, I pulled out a bottled water from my purse and tossed it at him. He thanked me and we started talking about our nerves, the hiring process, what the Academy would be like. He was only one of a handful of people who could ever match me in a battle of verbal witticism. I liked him instantly.
There was definitely some flirting going on, but just the playful variety. I thought he was going to ask me out, and I probably would have said yes, but I was called in. I didn’t see him again until our first day at the Academy, but by then I’d met Hayden and that was that. Luke began seeing—well, sleeping with—my roommate at the Academy, but he and I always sat together, studied together, worked out together. We were partners even then. We just got one another. When we finally became official partners, we filled in each other’s gaps with his grasp of the technical forensics and mine of the human nature aspect. Hell, it got to the point where we could sense when the other was having a bad day and immediately knew how to make it better. Usually sugar and playful banter for me and the shooting range or a run for him. I loved Hayden more than life itself, but even during our marriage, I knew Luke was my “person.” The one who knew me best. I just attributed it to the job and the kind of person it attracted. Whatever the reason, I thanked God for Luke Hudson. I hoped the feeling was mutual.
Darkness at the Edge of Town Page 10