‘She’s probably tired.’
‘So why doesn’t she just go to sleep?’
Good question.
‘I don’t know. Perhaps she’s feeling unsettled because normally she’d be having a sleep in her cot or in the pram now. Babies don’t like things being different.’
‘Pity we didn’t stay at home, then,’ Caroline whispered in my direction.
‘Why don’t you talk to her, Caroline?’ Laura suggested.
‘What about?’
‘Well, just try to calm her down. Give her hand a little stroke. Make sure she’s got her dummy and her blankie.’
‘Oh, great! Now I’m being used as a childminder! Is this how it’s going to be on this holiday? Because if it is, I’m going out every day!’
‘Caroline, don’t talk to Laura like that,’ Julian said. ‘Please just give Jessica her dummy like you’ve been asked. Then perhaps we’ll all get some peace.’
It took a while, but eventually Jessica’s wailing died away and all I could hear was the funny sucking noise she made when that dummy thing was in her mouth. I often wondered what it tasted like and why, when she spent half the day sucking away at it, it never got any smaller. I quite fancied having a go with it, but they never left it anywhere where I could get it. Still, at least it was keeping her quiet. Caroline was quiet, too, apart from a faint tinny sort of noise, which I recognised as coming from the things she puts in her ears, connected to Julian’s little screen thing he sometimes lets her play with. It often made her nod her head and tap her feet. Humans are weird, aren’t they? If they’re not putting bits and pieces in their mouths they’re putting them in their ears. I don’t know why they can’t just leave themselves alone.
I finally managed to doze off, but a little bit later I woke up with a start. The car was standing still. Were we there, at the holiday? Could I come out of the basket now? I meowed loudly, just in case they were all going to get out and forget about me.
‘It’s OK, Charlie,’ Caroline said. ‘We’re just having our picnic.’
Picnic? What on earth was a picnic? It’s amazing how many words there must be in the Human language. Almost every day I hear another new one. I definitely think they have more words than we have in Cat, hard though that is to believe, but then again, they only speak with their voices, whereas of course we use our whole bodies as well. How else are they supposed to communicate all the signals we give with our tails? Humans don’t even have tails! Or whiskers! And their ears don’t even twitch. It doesn’t bear thinking about.
I peered up through the top of my basket and could see Caroline in the back seat eating a sandwich. Well, it looked exactly like a sandwich but apparently picnic was a new name for it.
‘Can I have some?’ I meowed to her.
‘Aw, Charlie’s hungry,’ she said. ‘Can I give him some cheese? Can he come out and sit on my lap now?’
‘All right, if you’ve finished eating,’ Julian agreed. ‘Just while we’ve stopped. He’ll have to go back when we go to use the conveniences though.’ Conveniences. Yet another new word. Where were they going to use them, and what was convenient about them? ‘Are all the windows closed?’ he added.
‘Yes. And there are some cat treats in the bag,’ Laura said. ‘Give him some of those, and I’ve got some milk in a container here.’
That was more like it. Caroline undid the basket and lifted me out. Jessica’s little seat was empty – she was on Laura’s lap in the front, being fed. From the window I could see lots and lots of other cars, all lined up in rows, like they were having a meeting. I crunched up all my cat treats and lapped the milk out of the dish Laura had poured it into. I was feeling better now and ready for a run around. Also …
‘I need a wee!’ I meowed to Caroline.
‘I’ve just thought,’ she told Laura, as if she’d understood me. ‘He’s going to need a wee now he’s had that milk.’
‘Damn, I didn’t think of that,’ Julian said.
‘I did,’ Laura said calmly. ‘I’ve got a portable litter tray. It’s in the boot.’
So despite my complaints I was first put back into the basket ‘for safety’ while Julian opened the car door and went round to the boot – which some of you probably know, isn’t a boot at all but part of the car. (When they have so many words to choose from, why do they use the name of a shoe to describe the back of a car?) And then, when he came back and the door was closed again, I was taken back out of the basket and pushed inside this thing they’d put on the back seat next to Caroline. I can only describe it as a cardboard box, with some of my toilet litter scattered inside, as if that was going to help! I couldn’t believe my eyes. Were they joking? Did they seriously imagine any self-respecting cat was going to use that – in the car, with all of them watching? I’d rather die! And … well, by the time we finally arrived at the holiday, with my bladder bursting, the baby yelling again, Caroline moaning about being bored and Julian snapping at her, you know what? I was thinking of giving up one of my nine lives voluntarily, if only I could be back at home in Little Broomford, playing in the grounds with Oliver or lying in my nice comfy bed!
‘It’s all right, Charlie,’ Caroline was soothing me as she carried me, in my basket, into the strange place they were calling the Holiday Cottage. ‘I’ll let you out in a minute.’
While of course it was true I didn’t like being in the basket, I was more concerned now about relieving myself before I burst, so I was grateful to see Laura was following her, carrying, among other things, my proper litter tray from home, the one I remembered using when I was very little, and then again after I came home from having that operation at the vet’s. No grown-up cat likes using a litter tray if they have the option of a proper toilet in a flowerbed outside, of course, but the circumstances were now urgent. As soon as they’d shut the door and let me out of the basket, I zoomed across the room into my tray. And only then did I feel comfortable enough to take in my surroundings. Caroline had already gone off to explore the cottage, so I bounded after her so we could look around together. It didn’t take long.
‘It’s tiny,’ Caroline complained as we went back downstairs.
Julian laughed. ‘You only think that because you’ve always lived in a big house. This is quite a decent size by normal standards.’
‘There are only two bedrooms!’
‘How many do you think we need?’ Laura said. ‘Daddy’s right – we’re very spoilt, at home. Your dad has worked hard all his life to afford the lovely home we have. But this cottage is so pretty, don’t you think? It’s obviously very old, but it’s nice and cosy. And just look at the view from this window!’ She put her paws around Julian. ‘Well done, darling. It’s a lovely choice.’
Caroline went to join them looking out of the window, and gasped, ‘Oh! The sea is right there! It almost looks like we could jump into it from here!’
I leapt up onto the windowsill to see what was so exciting – and nearly fell off again with fright. Have any of you ever seen the sea? No? Well, I don’t know how to begin to describe it to you. Try to picture that huge pond we’ve got in the grounds of the Big House. You know, Oliver, where you once told me that according to Cat legend, an ancient Siamese called Old Chalky fell in one day while being chased by a fox, and lost his ninth life. Now, imagine that pond being the size of the whole of Little Broomford. And not only that, it moves! It goes backwards and forwards, up and down, looking like it’s going to come and get you. Needless to say, my first instinct was to run, but I fought the urge, because only a scaredy-cat leaves his human family to face danger on their own. So despite the trembling of my heart, I faced up to that horrible, threatening, moving thing beyond the window, arching my back and growling at it as fiercely as I could. Not that it took any notice – it just kept on coming.
Caroline and Laura were both laughing. How could they find this so amusing?
‘Charlie, you funny little cat, it’s the sea!’ Caroline said, picking me up and, to my horror, holding
me right against the window. ‘It won’t hurt you!’
‘He’s never seen it before, and cats don’t like water,’ Laura said. ‘Put him down, he’s struggling.’
I was. I couldn’t understand why none of them seemed bothered about the fact that there was only this thin bit of glass between us and disaster.
‘This is another reason why we must make sure he doesn’t get out of the cottage,’ Julian warned.
‘Oh, don’t worry!’ I meowed as I ran off to find out where my bed had been put. ‘I’m not getting any closer to that sea thing than I can help, thank you very much!’
Thankfully, the kitchen, where they’d put my bed, felt nice and safe. Its window, as I discovered when I plucked up the courage to jump up and investigate, looked out over the garden instead of the sea. The garden looked very small. I could see a wall going all the way round it, not a particularly high wall, so there was definitely a danger that we could be prone to illegal visits from strange cats who didn’t realise this was now my territory. I puzzled for a while over how I was supposed to defend the garden if I wasn’t going to be allowed outside. I doubted whether growling from the windowsill was going to have any more effect on a feline interloper than it did on the sea. This was a worry, but I’d have to face it when it happened. Meanwhile I was pleased to see my dinner had been dished up and was waiting for me in my bowl, and after eating this and having a good wash, I felt a bit more settled. I joined the family back in the living room, averting my eyes from the big window. The sea still hadn’t come through into the room, so perhaps it had given up. I jumped up on Caroline’s lap and she stroked me nicely while she watched TV, and needless to say I eventually dozed off.
When I woke up, I was lying in one of the armchairs – Caroline must have put me there when she got up – and nobody was around.
‘Hello?’ I meowed as I stood up and stretched myself. ‘Where are you all?’
No response. I wandered out of the lounge and upstairs, but both bedrooms were empty too. There was a funny kind of cot that looked more like a cage next to the bed in the bigger bedroom, but Jessica wasn’t in it. Nobody was in the little bathroom either and I finally realised they’d all actually gone out and left me! I meowed with indignation. I mean to say, I’m obviously used to being on my own at home, quite often all day. But to be left in this strange place, with a huge sea probably on the point of breaking through the windows, and marauding local cats plotting to surround the property – this was a different matter! I trotted around the cottage for a while, crying to myself in frustration, not daring to look outside, and then, suddenly, to my relief, I heard the front door opening and the sounds of my family returning. I was even pleased to hear baby Jessica’s shrieking as they pushed her pram into the porch. At least it meant I wasn’t alone in this place anymore.
‘Make sure the front door is closed behind us before you open the inside one!’ Julian was saying.
‘There’s not enough room for us all in this silly little porch,’ Caroline retorted. ‘Can’t you leave the pram outside?’
‘No, we can’t,’ Laura said. ‘I don’t want it getting wet if it rains, or damp from the sea spray overnight.’
‘No, of course not,’ Caroline muttered, her tone of voice a bit odd. ‘Can’t have Jessica getting damp.’
‘I told you this was a bad idea,’ Julian said crossly. I walked up to the glass door that separated the porch from the lounge and stared at them through the glass. They were all trying to cram into that tiny space, elbowing each other and almost falling on top of Jessica’s pram. What on earth were they playing at? ‘I told you we should have shut Charlie in the kitchen. That’s what we’ll have to do in future, so we can open the doors without having to worry about him getting out. This is ridiculous.’
‘I don’t think he wants to get out, Daddy. Look, he’s just sitting there watching us,’ Caroline said, squashing herself against the other side of the glass door as Julian struggled to close the outside one.
‘We don’t want to take that chance, do we?’ Laura pointed out.
‘But it was really hot in the kitchen! Poor Charlie will be boiled in there, without any windows open!’
Boiled? I didn’t like the sound of that! Just another worry to add to the list, although personally, I couldn’t think of anything nicer than being really hot.
Finally, the outside door was closed and Caroline opened the glass one, almost falling in on top of me.
‘Well, we’re certainly not doing that again,’ Laura said as she wheeled the little pram inside, and even Caroline didn’t argue this time.
‘We went for a walk along the seafront, Charlie!’ she said, throwing herself down on the floor next to me. ‘There’s a really nice beach. We’re going down there tomorrow. Daddy said it was too late today – for some reason,’ she added quietly, pushing her eyebrows up to the top of her head.
‘You know why, Caroline,’ Julian said sharply. ‘We need to settle Jessica down for the night. It’ll probably take a while, being in the travel cot and in a strange place.’
‘Yes, so everyone else has to suffer,’ she muttered.
‘Caroline,’ Laura said in a warning voice. ‘Don’t start. It’s been a long day, we’re all tired, and—’
‘No we’re not! I’m not! It’s not even late! I’d have liked to have a walk on the beach, and a paddle in the sea, but no, we have to come back because of Jessica. Jessica needs her sleep, Jessica needs her nappy changed, Jessica needs everyone running around after her like she’s the one in charge of this family!’
‘That’s enough,’ Julian said. But he said it in a quiet, sad voice instead of a cross one, and when I looked up at Caroline I saw a little drip of a tear running down her cheek. I rubbed my head against her legs and she curled around me where she sat on the floor, hiding her face against my fur.
‘I still love you,’ I purred at her.
I’d have liked to ask her a few questions, like: What is a beach? What is a paddle? How can you walk on the seafront, if the sea is moving water? And: How did you stop the sea from getting at you? Wasn’t it dangerous? But even if I could have got her to understand me, now didn’t seem like a good time to try.
Laura carried Jessica upstairs and shut the door of their bedroom, and Julian went into the kitchen to make coffee. Then he turned the TV back on and sat in silence with Caroline, watching pictures of water on it. The water looked very deep and dark, almost worse than the sea outside our window. And then, suddenly, lots of little fish swam into the picture. That was a lot more interesting. I jumped off Caroline’s lap and strolled a little closer to the TV. I knew the fish were just pictures – not that I could see the point of it, the whole TV thing is too weird to take on board, if you ask me. But still, they were a definite attraction. I jumped onto the shelf where the TV sat, and put a paw out to the screen, patting a nice bright orange fish that looked like it ought to be tasty. Of course, it just felt hard and cold. But I liked watching the fish anyway, so I stayed on the shelf, aiming my paw out every now and then, to pretend to myself that I was trying to catch them.
Caroline was laughing at me. At least she’d cheered up a bit. Even Julian chuckled as he said, ‘Charlie, they’re not real! You silly little cat.’
‘I know! I’m just playing!’ I retorted, somewhat offended. I had a swipe at another, bigger one.
‘That’s a catfish!’ Caroline said, laughing again.
It didn’t look anything like a cat to me. Ridiculous name for a fish. But it was nice to hear her laugh, so I had another swipe – unfortunately, just as Laura came back into the lounge.
‘Charlie, get down from there!’ she said. ‘Julian, don’t let him do that. He’ll scratch the TV. It’s not ours, you know.’
I jumped down, chastised again, and slunk under Caroline’s legs, but not before I’d caught sight of her face. She wasn’t laughing anymore; she was scowling. And even Julian’s mouth was turned down at the corners. I wondered if this was how a holiday was supp
osed to be – everyone snapping at each other and being moody. If so, I was tempted to agree with Caroline that it wasn’t going to be much fun, and perhaps we should have stayed at home.
CHAPTER
FOUR
When I woke up the next morning, it took me a while to remember where I was. The sun was shining brightly through the little kitchen window and it was hot in there already. I could hear footsteps upstairs – the floor creaked when anyone walked on it – and Jessica was complaining as usual. I wondered what her problem was. She had an easy life, if you asked me. If she’d been a cat kitten, she’d have been weaned, toilet trained and be learning to hunt by now, but it seems human kittens need babying forever. I got up and had a good stretch. I was hungry, and as nobody had come downstairs yet I had to yowl at the top of my voice to get their attention. Caroline came bounding down from her bedroom, still in her pyjamas.
‘Charlie needs feeding, Dad! Shall I give him his breakfast?’
‘Yes please, Caroline,’ Julian called back. ‘We’ll be down in a minute.’
‘We’re going to the beach today, Charlie,’ she told me as she dished up my food. She gave my head a little stroke as she put down my bowl. ‘Daddy and Laura have promised. I hope you’ll be all right here on your own.’
I couldn’t stop eating to reply to her, and in any case what was I supposed to say? Now I was getting used to the cottage, I wouldn’t have minded being left alone so much if I’d had the run of the place. I’d be out in that garden for a start, sniffing out all the best places in the flowerbeds for my toilet, investigating any smells of mice, voles, rabbits and – always to be avoided of course – foxes. Chasing birds, climbing trees, playing in the bushes, to say nothing of facing any possible opposition from local cats, while I was establishing my position as territory holder. But no, I was apparently going to be a prisoner in this kitchen all day with just a litter tray for company. The only good thing about it was the fact that I couldn’t see the monstrous sea from in here. I was pleasantly surprised to find that we’d all survived the night without it getting into the cottage but from what I’d seen yesterday, it was unlikely to give up trying.
Charlie the Kitten Who Saved a Life Page 3