by Sarah Morgan
She nodded and then screwed up her face and yelled as another contraction hit her and the baby shot into Zach's waiting hands.
He placed the baby gently on Tina's stomach. 'A little girl. Congratulations.'
'Oh, Mike!' Tina looked at her husband and tears spilled down her cheeks. 'Mike, she's beautiful.'
'She certainly is.' Her husband bent down and kissed her gently, his eyes damp. 'We're a family now. A real family.'
The baby cried loudly and everyone sniffed and looked decidedly emotional. All except Zach, whose face was strangely devoid of expression.
Keely watched as he clamped the cord and cut it and then examined the vessels.
Something was the matter with him.
Was it seeing the baby born? Was it the husband's comments about being a family? It must be awful for him, seeing other happy couples with children when he—
Damn. She couldn't bear to think about how much he must be hurting.
'Keely.' His voice was slightly sharp, as if he'd guessed what she was thinking. 'Can you remember what to look for?' He was as cool and professional as ever as she moved closer to see what he was doing.
'Two arteries?'
'That's right.' He shifted his position just as a man in theatre greens walked into the room.
Zach looked up. 'You've missed the action, Jed. Sorry.'
The other man grinned and looked down at the woman on the trolley. 'Trying to give everyone a heart attack, were you, Tina?'
The young woman still looked shell-shocked. 'At least she didn't arrive while we were shopping.'
'Yes, let's be thankful for small mercies,' the obstetrician agreed, glancing at Zach. 'Any problems?'
Zach shook his head. 'I'm just delivering the placenta. Do you want to take over?'
'Not especially.' But Jed stayed close by, talking calmly to the couple, keeping an eye on proceedings. Finally he gave Zach a thump on the back.
'Well done. We'll take it from here if that's all right with you.'
'Fine.' Zach stood up and ripped off his gloves, tossing them in the bin before moving back to the trolley and smiling at Tina. 'Well done.'
'You can have a cuddle if you like,' Tina said, but Zach's smile faded and his expression was suddenly remote.
'Thanks, but I'd better not. The sooner you get up to the ward the better.'
With that he picked up the notes and glanced at Nicky. 'I'll write up the notes in my office. Can one of you take them up to the ward later?'
Nicky nodded. 'Of course.'
Keely watched with concern as he strode out of the room. He was upset. He was definitely upset.
So what should she do about it?
Should she ignore it? Let him bottle it up?
Or should she follow her instincts and see if he needed a friend...?
CHAPTER SIX
Keely hesitated outside Zach's office and then tapped gently on the door.
He should have finished writing the notes by now but there was no sign of him emerging from his office. And she was worried about him.
She tapped again and gingerly opened the door, stopping dead when she saw him standing with his back to her, his powerful shoulders tense as he stared out of the window at the snow-capped mountains.
'Zach?'
He didn't turn. 'The notes are on the desk.'
Keely closed the door behind her, refusing to be daunted by his discouraging tone.
'I don't want the notes.' On impulse she turned the key in his door and then stood for a moment, wondering how best to break down the barriers he'd built around himself.
He turned to face her, his eyes tired. 'This isn't a good time.'
'I know that.' She hesitated, knotting her fingers together anxiously. 'But I was worried about you'
'I'm fine, Keely.' He looked at her for a moment and then turned back to the window. 'And I need to be on my own.'
She ought to be taking the hint and leaving him to his own thoughts, however painful, but she sensed how much he was hurting and couldn't leave him alone.
'Please.' Her voice was soft. 'I want to help, Zach.'
'How?' He gave a harsh laugh. 'No one can help. Not even you.'
Keely felt her heart twist. There must be something she could do—surely just knowing that someone cared must help a little bit?
She closed the gap between them until she was standing so close they were almost touching.
His dark jaw was tense. 'I really don't want to talk about this.'
'Well, you should,' she said bravely, ignoring his curt tone. 'You told me that if things upset me here, I should talk to you. I think it's time you followed some of your own advice, Zach. Tell me why you're upset. Talk to me. Was it the baby being born?'
He swore fluently under his breath and his blue gaze was menacing. 'Keely, I don't need to talk. I don't want to talk.'
His words throbbed with pain and on impulse she stood on tiptoe and hugged him, the same way she would have hugged Phoebe if she'd been upset.
Standing rigid in her embrace, Zach lifted his hands and gripped her arms tightly, clearly intending to remove them.
'For God's sake, Keely.'
His words were like a shower of cold water.
What on earth was she doing?
'I'm sorry.' She stepped back, mortified, realising that he'd misinterpreted her actions. Bother. It had been a simple hug. Nothing more. But he'd thought... He'd obviously assumed...
She closed her eyes, thoroughly confused and embarrassed. Now what?
'I'm sorry, Zach,' she mumbled finally, not quite meeting his eyes. 'I was just trying to help. I wasn't. Oh, damn.'
'Hush...'
She felt his hands on her shoulders and glanced up awkwardly, preparing herself to apologise again—to explain that she hadn't been throwing herself at him. Instead, the words died in her throat and what she saw in his eyes took her breath away.
'Keely.' He said her name softly, his strong fingers stroking through her blonde hair as he scanned every inch of her face. 'Little Keely. You can't see anyone hurt and not try and help, can you?'
'I'm not little.' She frowned, hurt that he seemed to be dismissing her concern so lightly. 'I'm an adult, remember? I don't—'
'Dammit, I know you're an adult.' He growled the words against her mouth and then suddenly he was kissing her. Kissing her the way he'd kissed her that night in Phoebe's bedroom.
She gave a soft gasp and he took instant advantage, steadying her head with strong hands as he deepened the kiss.
Her heart thudding erratically, she melted into him and with a rough exclamation his arms slid round her, trapping her against his powerful body.
Swamped with need, her knees sagged and without breaking the kiss he propelled her backwards until her shoulders came into contact with the wall, his body hard against hers as he continued to drive them both to a frenzy of need. He seemed to know exactly how to kiss her, exactly what to do to excite her the most.
His breathing harsh, he lifted her skirt, his hands sliding up the warmth of her trembling thighs and cupping her bottom.
'Dear God, Keely...' He muttered the words against her mouth, his strong fingers tightening on her flesh, his touch sending rivers of wild excitement tumbling through her insides.
'Zach...' She was trembling like a leaf in a storm, her whole body consumed by the fire he'd ignited inside her. She felt his fingers tugging at her skimpy pants and gave a soft gasp as he sought access to the very heart of her passion.
She clutched his shoulders and her breath came in tiny pants as her body responded to the touch of his clever fingers. She couldn't believe what was happening, couldn't understand the response that he coaxed from her, and she trembled as she felt the ripples of sensation spread through her body. For a brief moment in time she forgot where she was—she forgot who she was—aware only of the sudden explosion within her body. His mouth captured her cries of ecstasy and afterwards she nestled against him, hiding her burning face in the cool fabric
of his shirt.
'Oh, Zach...' She whispered his name, not daring to look at him. 'I wasn't— I didn't mean to—'
He gave a soft laugh, his warm breath brushing the top of her head. 'You didn't. I did. If anyone needs to apologise here, it's me.'
She shook her head, her cheeks still burning. How could she have let him do that? How could she have been so totally shameless?
'Keely, look at me.'
She ignored his quiet command, her face still buried in his shirt.
'I can't. I'm too embarrassed.'
With a soft curse he slipped a hand under her chin and lifted her face so that she was forced to look at him.
'Zach, I really didn't mean...' She swallowed hard and tried again. 'I don't want you to think— When I hugged you, I wasn't throwing myself at you.'
'I know that.' A ghost of a smile played around his firm mouth. 'You were trying to comfort me, and I'm sorry.'
Her eyes widened. 'Why are you sorry?'
'Because I was the one who kissed you. And I shouldn't have done it.' He hesitated and then gave a humourless laugh. 'I always seem to be saying that to you, don't I?'
Keely closed her eyes, still hideously embarrassed. 'Zach, it was my fault, not yours—'
Zach covered her lips with a gentle finger, stopping her in mid-flow. 'It wasn't anyone's fault, Keely. The truth is that you and I can't seem to be within a metre of each other without sparking enough electricity to power the whole of the national grid.' His hand dropped and suddenly he looked weary. 'But it doesn't change the fact that I have nothing to offer any woman at the moment. The truth is that after Catherine I haven't got anything left to give anyone.'
'I know. I understand. Truly I do.' With a massive effort Keely flashed him a smile. 'Let's just forget it. It was just a kiss.'
The way he lifted an eyebrow made her realise how totally ridiculous it was to refer to what they'd shared as 'just a kiss'.
Saying that it was 'just a kiss', was like saying that Everest was just a mountain!
'What I mean,' she said hastily, 'is that you don't need to worry that I'll read anything into it—you know that all I'm interested in at the moment is my career. I'm certainly not looking for permanent attachments. It won't be long before I'm off to London to start a new job.'
Heavens, how could she tell such a lie and sound convincing?
'That's right, so you are.'
His manner suddenly cool, he turned and walked over to his desk, flicking open the notes and scanning them quickly.
Keely felt suddenly confused.
Now what had she said?
Surely her words should have reassured him?
She frowned, but before she could question him there was a tap on the door and Keely bit back a growl of frustration. Talk about rotten timing!
Zach strode across his office and opened the door, his manner as calm and unperturbed as always.
'Oh, Nicky, you want the notes.' Not by a tremor of his voice did he betray the fact that only a minute or two earlier he and Keely had been locked together with a passion that had nearly singed the paint from the walls. 'Keely's ahead of you. I was just finishing them off.'
'OK.' Nicky gave them a cheerful smile. 'Wasn't it great to have the chance to deliver a baby? It's nice to have something cheerful happening in the department for a change, don't you think?'
'Wonderful.' Zach's tone was even but Keely could see that the tension was back and she wanted to scream with frustration. For a brief moment she'd broken down those barriers that he'd built around himself. He'd let her close to him.
He walked back to his desk, signed the notes and handed them to Keely.
'There we are—all yours.'
His glance was cool and professional, and she sagged with disappointment. What had happened to the passion that had exploded between them? He was so distant that their kiss might never have happened, but she knew that for those few wild moments he'd wanted her as much as she'd wanted him.
But now he'd had time to think, he was backing off again. The death of his wife had hurt him so badly that part of him couldn't let go—couldn't allow him to give himself to a woman again.
The rest of Keely's shift was a nightmare. Every time she looked at Zach she remembered his mouth on hers and his hands touching her body.
Several times he had to repeat instructions, and by the end of the shift she was so jumpy that she thought everyone must have noticed that something was wrong.
She was relieved to climb into her little car, relieved to put some distance between her and Zach. Although not for long, of course. As they were both off duty he'd be under her nose tonight and the whole of tomorrow.
Torture.
When she arrived home she left a note on the kitchen table saying that she needed to get on with some studying and had taken her supper upstairs. At least that way she wouldn't have to spend an evening trying to pretend that she was totally indifferent to the man.
It was all very well telling herself that she wasn't going to throw herself at him, but it was becoming harder, not easier. She couldn't look at him without remembering how it had felt when he'd kissed her, and as for the rest...
She gave a groan and reached for a cardiology textbook. Maybe work would take her mind off Zachary Jordan.
Fortunately it snowed overnight, which at least provided a topic of conversation at the breakfast table.
'Good morning.' Zach strolled into the room and Keely's hands started to shake so badly that she dropped the packet of oats onto the floor.
Bother. Bother. Bother.
Why did he have such a powerful effect on her?
And why did he have to look so good in the morning? One glance in the mirror had been enough to confirm that a sleepless night had done nothing for her own appearance. Her cheeks were pale and her blue eyes were shadowed. Obviously he hadn't suffered a similar fate, she thought dryly, noting how sleek and handsome he looked. But, then, why should he? From his point of view all they'd shared had been a kiss. A very memorable kiss, of course, but nothing that was going to disturb his sleep.
Nothing that came close to what he'd shared with his wife.
'Something wrong, Keely?' One dark eyebrow lifted and she gave a bright smile.
'Nothing at all,' she said as she stooped to retrieve the box of oats. 'Just a little tired. I was reading until very late.'
'Yes. I saw your note.' He poured himself some coffee and gave her a cool smile. 'What were you working on? Anything in particular?'
'I was looking through my cardiology textbook,' she told him, skimming over the fact that she'd barely taken in anything she'd read. Her mind had been well and truly on other things. Him.
'Were you preparing for your interview?'
'Yes.' She made some porridge for Phoebe, careful not to look at Zach. If she didn't look at him she could pretend he wasn't there. And then maybe she'd stop shaking.
Zach glanced out of the window and sipped his coffee. 'There's snow on the fells. How do you fancy taking Phoebe sledging?'
'Yes, yes.' Phoebe bounced happily in her chair. 'Phoebe sledging.'
Sledging.
In the snow.
Snow was cold. If things became too desperate maybe she could push some down the neck of her anorak to cool herself down.
'Good idea.'
She served the porridge, made herself a piece of toast— which she didn't touch—and then busied herself getting things ready for their outing.
By the time they were ready to leave she had Phoebe warmly dressed in an all-in-one skisuit and furry boots.
Zach left his car by the side of the road and the three of them scrambled up the side of the fell until they reached a suitable slope.
'Nice.' Phoebe bent down and tapped the snow with her mitten and then plopped down onto her bottom. 'Phoebe slide.'
'Wait.' Zach laughed and lifted her onto the sledge before climbing on himself and holding onto the ropes. 'OK, off we go.'
They shot down the
slope, Phoebe whooping with delight, and Keely watched with a smile and a lump in her throat.
Oh, she loved them both so much.
Then Zach dragged the sledge back up the hill and it was her turn. She settled herself behind the little girl, held her tightly and then shot down the slope so fast that she gasped with fright.
The sledge hit a bump and they both tumbled off into a pile of soft snow.
'More. More.' Phoebe bounced up immediately, totally undaunted by the crash, but Keely lay still for a minute, slightly winded.
'Are you all right?' Zach strode down the slope, scooped his daughter into his arms and then held out a hand to Keely. 'Come on.'
He hauled her upright and she stumbled against him, feeling the hard muscles of his thighs pressing against her.
For a moment their eyes locked and she knew that he was remembering their kiss. Then his jaw seemed to tense and he released her, swinging Phoebe onto his shoulders and jogging back up the slope with her, leaving Keely to drag the sledge after them.
Desperate to relieve the tension between them, Keely bent down and scooped up an armful of freezing snow and then crept up behind Zach, raised her right arm and aimed the ball of snow with deadly accuracy.
It hit his body with a satisfying, muted thump and he turned, .his eyes gleaming as he prepared himself to retaliate.
'Keely, Keely—you really shouldn't have done that.' He was laughing now and she gave a shriek as he lowered Phoebe to the ground and bent to pick up some snow to throw.
'Phoebe, save me!' Keely turned and ran as fast as she could in her cumbersome boots, but he caught her easily, stuffing the snow down the neck of her jacket while she shrieked for mercy.
Phoebe joined in, dancing around with excitement, and soon it was all-out war. By the time they eventually arrived home, all three of them were soaked and laughing.
'You two go and have a shower and I'll make us some hot soup.' Keely walked through to the kitchen, rubbing her damp hair with a towel.