by Sarah Morgan
'It could be very dangerous to look in her throat,' Keely explained. 'If she is suffering from epiglottitis, examining her could totally obstruct her airway.'
Even as she watched, the child started to gasp for air and Keely turned to Nicky, her expression urgent.
'Let's get her on the trolley and call Zach quickly. And crash-bleep the paediatrician again. If he doesn't arrive soon I'll have to intubate her, and I'd like Zach here.'
'She's not breathing,' Zoe said quickly and Keely moved to the head of the trolley.
'OK, give me a small endotracheal tube and an introducer.'
While Zoe hurried the mother out of the room, Keely tried to intubate the child.
'It's all too swollen,' she muttered grimly as she tried to insert the tube into the little girl's airway. 'Damn. This is impossible. Give me an IV cannula—where the hell's Zach?'
'I'm right here,' came the calm reply, and she looked up with a sigh of relief.
'She's in respiratory arrest but I can't intubate her because her airway is so swollen. I'm going to do a needle cricothyroidotomy.'
With Zach's reassuring presence by her side she managed to perform the procedure successfully, and his quiet words of praise increased her confidence dramatically.
Then all of a sudden the room was full of people and the paediatricians took over.
'She's arrested.' Tony Maxwell snapped out some instructions and they all worked to save the little girl.
An hour later Tony shook his head, his expression grim. 'I think we should stop now. Does everyone agree?'
'No!' Keely's cry was anguished. 'We've got to keep trying. She's only four years old.'
Zach put a hand on her shoulder and his voice was gruff. 'Keely, she's not responding.'
'But we can't let her die.'
'She's already dead,' Tony said gently, his eyes bleak as he looked down at the tiny figure on the trolley. 'Agonising though it is, I think we have to leave it at that.'
'It needn't have happened.' Keely felt a lump building in her throat and fought for control. Zach already thought she wasn't emotionally tough enough to cope with A and E work. She didn't want to prove him right. 'It's just so unfair...'
'I know.' Tony looked round and then his broad shoulders sagged slightly. 'OK, thanks, everyone.'
Keely took a deep breath. 'I'll tell the mother,' she said quietly, but Zach shook his head.
'Tony should do it, Keely. He's the senior paediatrician.'
Tony nodded, his expression glum. 'I get all the good jobs. Will you come with me, Nicky?'
The A and E sister nodded and Keely noticed a tear shining in the corner of her eye.
So it wasn't just her, then...
'You did well, by the way.' Tony turned to Keely. 'I'm sorry we took so long to get here but we had an arrest in ITU.'
'I didn't manage to intubate her,' Keely mumbled, swamped by feelings of inadequacy. Surely there was something more she could have done? It all seemed so needlessly tragic. 'Maybe if I'd managed we'd have saved her.'
Tony shook his head. 'No one would have been able to intubate her,' he assured her calmly. 'Her airway was almost entirely obstructed. You did brilliantly. Better than most. And your diagnosis was spot on. Don't doubt yourself, Keely. You're a good doctor. A very good doctor.'
So why did she feel like such a failure?
Aware of Zach's scrutiny, Keely mumbled an excuse and walked out of Resus. At least her shift was over. Which meant she could go home and make a fool of herself in peace and quiet.
'Da-addy-y...' Phoebe hurtled out of the playroom and attached herself bodily to Zach's legs as he let himself into the house.
'Hello, trouble.' He stooped to pick her up, smiling at Barbara who'd followed her charge into the hallway. 'Has she been good?'
'Mostly.' Barbara had a twinkle in her eye that made Zach groan.
'Come on. What's she done?'
'She fed her toast into the video,' Barbara said calmly, 'but fortunately she sucked the butter off it first, so there was no long-term damage.'
'And?' There was more. He could tell. Zach braced himself.
'And...' Barbara glanced down at the sheepish toddler and gave her a wink. 'We actually had a small accident with a pen and the sitting-room wall, but it's all sorted out now.'
Zach closed his eyes and muttered something under his breath. 'Anything else I need to know?'
'She managed to dial 999 on the telephone.'
Zach winced. 'Who do I have to call to apologise?'
'I've done it.' Barbara bent down and picked the little girl up. 'The only thing I haven't solved is the problem of last week's copy of the Lancet. It was by your bed...'
Zach's eyes narrowed. 'And dare I ask where it is now?'
'In the bath,' Barbara told him cheerfully. 'Or, to be exact, drying on the radiator, having had a wash in the bath. My fault entirely. I turned my back to get a towel.'
Zach groaned. If he lost Barbara he didn't know what he'd do. 'What can I say?'
'Absolutely nothing,' she said firmly. 'I love her to bits. She's very bright and busy. Just as a healthy toddler should be.'
Zach shook his head in disbelief and kissed his daughter's face.
'You're a handful, madam.'
'More kiss.' Phoebe leaned towards him and he grinned and kissed her again, glancing up the stairs as he did so.
'Is Keely home?'
'Yes.' Barbara's smile faded and she gave a worried frown. 'To be honest, I thought she looked a bit upset. She's in the bathroom and she's been in there for ages.'
Zach's mouth tightened. And he could guess what she was doing. Crying her eyes out.
'Don't worry.' He scooped his daughter up and gave the older woman a smile. 'I'll go and see her.'
'Good. I'll be off then.'
Zach loosened his tie and took the stairs two at a time, Phoebe's arms clutched tightly round his neck.
'Keely?' He called her name through the bathroom door but there was no answer and he cursed under his breath.
'Keely!'
He thumped a fist on the door and Phoebe's bottom lip trembled and her arms tightened around his neck.
'Daddy no shout. Daddy noisy. Daddy say sorry.'
Before he could answer he heard Keely's voice, slightly muffled from the bathroom.
'I'm OK, Zach. I'm just having a bath.'
He didn't believe her for a moment, but he was helpless to do much with Phoebe in his arms. He'd put her to bed first and then sort out Keely.
It was half an hour before he returned to the locked bathroom door, and there was still no sign of Keely.
He called her again and finally she opened the door.
She was wrapped in a towel, the ends of her blonde hair damp from the steam and her sweet face blotched with tears.
'Zach!' She scowled at him and tried to brush away the traces of tears, obviously annoyed that he'd caught her crying. 'I just wanted to be alone.'
'I was worried about you.'
'Well, I'm OK.' Conscious of her nakedness beneath the towel, a soft blush touched her cheeks. 'Leave me alone, Zach.'
'No.'
'Why not?'
'Because you're upset,' he said calmly, lifting a hand to brush a blonde strand of hair away from her face. 'And I think you'd feel better if you talked about it.'
She glared at him. 'You never talk about your feelings— why should I?'
She looked so sweet and defensive he could barely keep his hands off her.
Her half-naked body was testing his self-control to the limits, and the sooner he got her dressed the safer it would be for both of them.
'Why don't you come out of the bathroom,' he suggested, 'and we can talk about it downstairs?'
'I don't want to talk about it,' she mumbled. 'I just want to be left in peace.'
'Well, that's one thing I'm not going to do.' He lifted one dark eyebrow in her direction. 'Are you coming out or am I carrying you out?'
The tears welled in her hu
ge eyes and her voice shook. 'She was only four years old, and if her mother had had her immunised it never would have happened...'
Damn.
Zach reached for her, quickly wrapping her in his arms.
Keely started to sob into his chest, great tearing sobs that shook her whole body and made him feel totally helpless.
'Hush, sweetheart...' He held her tightly and whispered nonsense into her hair until finally she was too exhausted to sob any longer. Then he lifted her into his arms and sat down on the bathroom chair with her on his lap.
'It's so unfair.' Her words were jerky. 'She didn't have to die. How will that poor mother cope with losing her child?'
'I don't know.'
Zach felt as sad about it as she did. In fact, he almost envied her ability to let her emotions out. Sometimes he wished he could do the same.
'Tell me honestly, Zach.' She wiped her eyes on the back of her hand. 'Was there anything else I could have done? What if I'd given her antibiotics straight away?'
He shook his head and stroked her hair away from her damp cheeks with a gentle hand. 'You did everything absolutely right. It was textbook management of a case of epiglottitis. We were all incredibly impressed that you even recognised it, to be honest. It's very rare these days.'
'But not rare enough,' she said in a quiet voice, leaning her face against his broad chest.
Zach tried not to react, reminding himself that she was just using him for comfort. But unfortunately his body wasn't that discerning and his immediate response to the soft scent of her hair and the warmth of her body made him grit his teeth.
'Let's get you dressed,' he said gruffly, hoping that she'd move before he embarrassed himself, 'or you'll catch cold.'.
'No, don't let me go. Not yet.' She snuggled closer and he stifled a groan.
Any minute now she'd realise the effect she was having on him.
'Keely...'
She lifted her head to look at him and her tear-washed eyes and trembling mouth were only inches away from his. And the temptation was just too much...
With a groan he lowered his head and captured her mouth, and the tension that had been building for weeks exploded between them.
Slowly at first, his lips moved over hers, the tip of his tongue seeking entry between her softly parted lips as he savoured the taste of her.
He felt her tremble in his arms and then her tongue touched his as she returned the kiss, her immediate and passionate response to his touch sending desire roaring through him like a runaway train.
Without breaking the kiss, his fingers tugged at the towel, leaving her naked in his lap.
'Zach...' She gasped his name against his mouth and then her tongue licked at his lips again, tantalising and teasing him until he was ready to forget the preliminaries and make love to her on the floor of the bathroom.
But she deserved better than that...
Battling with his instincts, he slipped his arms around her and stood up, intending to take her to the bedroom, but she gave a murmur of protest and tightened her arms round his neck.
'No, Zach.' Her voice was almost a sob. 'Don't let me go.'
Dear God, she was enough to test the will-power of a saint. Zach's fingers tightened into her warm satiny flesh. He had no intention of letting her go...
Their mouths fused again and they kissed desperately, biting at each other, trying to get closer—and closer still...
'The bedroom, Keely.' He murmured the words against her mouth but she gave a moan of protest and wriggled out of his arms, sliding down his body until she was on her knees, her fingers shaking as they dealt with his zip.
And then he felt her soft mouth touch him, her tongue and lips tasting and teasing him until he thought he'd explode.
'Keely...' His fractured groan of disbelief brought no response from her as she continued with intimacies that left him stunned and shell-shocked.
Finally, when he could stand it no longer, he lifted her roughly to her feet and backed her against the wall, his mouth devouring hers with a wild hunger that took them both past the point of no return.
In a smooth movement he lifted her and she wrapped her legs around his hips, her breath coming in pants as she felt his hardness brush against her.
'Please, Zach, please…'
She was sobbing with need and her soft gasps and the incredible liquid warmth of her body left him totally unable to control his actions.
His mouth still holding hers, he angled her hips and surged into her, taking her hard and fast, surrendering to the mindless passion that overwhelmed both of them.
He felt her body tighten around his and then she cried out his name, quivering and shaking in his arms, her frantic movements driving him over the edge into ecstasy.
For endless seconds they clung together, breathing heavily, and then he lowered her gently to the floor, his hands supporting her as her knees buckled.
Stunned by the power of the emotions that had erupted between them, Zach struggled to control his breathing and then bent his head to look at the shiny mass of blonde hair that was buried in his chest.
She was unbelievable. So sweet. And so incredibly sexy...
He slipped a gentle hand under Keely's chin and lifted her face, urging her to look at him.
Her cheeks were flushed and there was just a hint of shyness in her eyes, as if she didn't quite know what to say to him. Which was understandable, because he didn't know what to say to her either.
There had been a lack of control about their love-making—a primitive edge that had left them both shaken.
Her beautiful blue eyes looked nervous and her voice was no more than a whisper. 'Whatever you're about to say, Zach, please, don't tell me that you regret what we just did...'
The idea was so ridiculous that he almost laughed. How could she possibly think he could regret an experience like that?
'The only thing I regret is not taking more time over it,' he said softly, stroking her tousled blonde hair away from her flushed cheeks with a gentle hand. 'You deserve more than a quickie in my bathroom. Did I hurt you?'
'No. It—it was fantastic.' Her softly whispered words and the deepening flush on her cheeks made his guts clench.
With a slow smile he scooped her up in his arms and bent his head to kiss her gently on the mouth.
'It certainly was. So fantastic we're going to do it again. Only this time we're not rushing it.' He opened the bathroom door and shouldered his way through to the landing. 'This time we're going to take all night.'
Keely lay in the bed, her eyes closed, a deliciously warm feeling spreading over her body.
Zach was an insatiable lover...
After their one, breathtakingly powerful encounter in the bathroom he'd proceeded to make love to her for the entire night in almost every position imaginable.
She blushed slightly when she remembered some of the things she'd allowed him to do to her—things she'd been much too shy to allow anyone else to do before. But, somehow, with Zach everything felt right.
And Fiona had been right on that first day when she'd guessed that Zach would be good in bed. He was better than good. He was incredible. He knew exactly where to touch her—how to touch her—to drive her totally wild with excitement. And his body...
Talking of his body, where was he?
She glanced around the room and decided that he must have gone downstairs. Had she slept that late?
She reached out an arm to grab the clock and gasped. Oh, help. They were both supposed to be working that morning and if she didn't get a move on she'd be late.
Keely showered in record time, pulled on her clothes and made her way down to the kitchen.
Suddenly she felt impossibly shy. What should she say to Zach? How should she react? It was pretty hard to pretend to behave normally after everything they'd shared the night before.
She paused in the doorway and then took a deep breath and walked into the kitchen, her cheeks slightly pink as she glanced at him.
'You should have woken me up.'
'You were totally out for the count.'
His voice was noticeably cool and Keely felt as though she'd been showered with cold water.
Why wasn't he looking at her?
Phoebe was in her high chair, fighting with a plate of food in her usual manner, and Keely sat down next to her.
'Your father rang.' Zach handed her a cup of tea and she stared at him blankly.
Her father?
Why would her father ring?
'D-did he leave a message?'
'Yes.' Zach's tone was even. 'You've got an interview in London in a few weeks. Congratulations.'
Keely looked at him in silence.
Was that all he was going to say? After everything they'd shared—everything they'd done? All he could say was, 'Congratulations'?
'Don't forget to ask Sean for the day off.' He was so matter-of-fact that she wondered whether she'd imagined everything that had happened between them the night before.
Had the whole thing been a dream?
Why wasn't he trying to stop her? Why wasn't he trying to talk her out of going?
Didn't he mind that she might move to London?
Obviously not, she thought dully, staring down at the piece of toast on her plate.
Last night had obviously been nothing more than a diversion for him. Something to briefly take his mind off his wife.
So that was that.
Last night she'd been so sure that he'd felt something for her. So sure.
But he was making it all too clear that he considered their night together to have been a mistake. He didn't want her and she certainly wasn't throwing herself at him again.
Which meant she may as well go to London.
She couldn't carry on living with Zach after last night. It would be too much to bear.
CHAPTER NINE
'You look awful.' Nicky opened the fridge to get some milk and frowned across at Keely who was sitting slumped in an armchair in the corner of the staffroom.
'Thanks for that.' Keely drained her coffee and stood up, knowing that it wouldn't take Nicky long to guess what was wrong.
And she didn't want to talk about it.
She couldn't talk about it.
Not without making a complete and utter fool of herself.