by JJ Jones
The night air danced on my bare arms and it felt refreshing. I was excited to have finally found some outside air. I took my mask off, letting the sheen of sweat cooling on my face. I wasn’t built for masks. The air was fresh and sweet. I liked it.
There weren’t many good things that I could say about the rich, but this was one of them. They generally lived in the areas where the air was cleanest. I could actually smell the dirt and dust and trees and bugs and not the overlaying smog that had settled over even the prettiest parts of Kansas City. That’s not to say that I don’t love the city that I had grown up in. I do love it and wouldn’t trade it for the world, but still, sometimes I wish that it was a little bit cleaner. I suppose, however, that KCMO is one of the prettiest cities in the world, and actually isn’t as bad as other places. It could be worse, but it could be better, too.
I was stuck in my musings when I noticed there was someone else with me. I hadn’t heard them enter, in fact, I wasn’t hearing them now, but for some reason I knew I wasn’t alone. My body lurched in dangerous ways. I was going to have to learn how to control this. I looked up, trying to find some sign about how I was going to get out of this and I turned around.
“Sorry if I’m disturbing you.” It was Alistair and I let out a long breath that I didn’t know what I was holding. He crooked his head, staring at me. “Do you need anything?”
He wasn’t wearing his mask but I remembered the costume. He was one of the men, the second man that had come into the room with me. I knew it. I had known it all along, but still it felt a little shocking. I can’t really explain it. My stomach did a flip and I wondered what he was going to think of me.
“I just didn’t realize that it was you.” I struggled to find my way in the storm of emotions, saying things that meant almost nothing in the grand scheme of things. I stammered and wondered how to express my entire self in a tiny little greeting.
“I didn’t mean to sneak up on you. You just looked so happy. I couldn’t make myself intrude.” He had a soft smile on his face. It reminded me of falling in love, but still I wondered if that was true.
That sounded so pretty. Why couldn’t I talk like that? “Thank you.”
“What do you think of this?” He waved his hands across the house, as if I could take it all in and spit out an explanation that would take less than a decade.
I shook my head. It was all starting to seem so silly. All of this and it was for nothing, not really. People didn’t actually function like this; it was just a way to hide the way people really lived, a pretty package surrounding an ugly world. I still wondered how ugly it was. “It’s ok, I guess. Not really my thing.”
“I know it probably feels like it’s pretentious.”
I nodded, agreeing with him. “That’s exactly what it is.”
“I can’t exactly argue with you on that front. I guess I’m just used to pretentious by now.” He was shrugging. He leaned on the railing, both of his elbows supporting the weight of his upper body and his hands clasped together.
I wanted to wink, but I stopped myself. “I can’t say that there haven’t been a few fun moments.”
He turned to me, there was a wide smile on his face. “I always aim to please.” Still there was something behind his eyes, maybe it was doubt, I don’t know. I couldn’t tell what he was feeling.
I doubted myself, worried I had said the wrong thing. A thousand misconstrued insults rushed into my head, but I forced the doubt out of it. I didn’t need to doubt myself. I was a strong and confident woman, right? I didn’t know anymore. So much had changed; so many things were different. My mind was changing as a new world began to present itself.
“So tell me about yourself.” I asked him, hoping that he would say something that I didn’t know and that I wouldn’t have to ask about the portraits in the hallway.
“Well, there’s not much to say.” He was being coy.
I narrowed my eyes and stared at him. “Is this your house?”
“Yes.” He actually looked down. I think that he might have been ashamed. “I’m sorry. I should have told you.”
I didn’t know how to respond. I think that I understood a little, but still I was offended that he didn’t share that with me. “Does that mean?” I couldn’t finish it, extending the last word long enough to make it a question.
“Yes.” He didn’t elaborate.
He didn’t have to. I think that a part of me had known for a while. I looked at him with shock in my eyes. “And in the park?”
“Me.”
“And following me?” I had to hear the answer from him, but I didn’t want to know. There wasn’t anything I could do about feeling so conflicted about the entire conversation now. That isn’t very comforting, but I had to know about what was going to happen, what had happened. My heart jumped into my throat and I was concerned about the entire ordeal. I started to feel that maybe I didn’t want to know the answer, but I forced those feelings down. I didn’t want to go into this blind. I needed to know everything that I could so that I could respond to this man as well as I could.
“Guilty.” He looked guilty, like he was ashamed. Good. He deserved to feel guilty. I had thought that I was losing my mind. It wasn’t right to do that to me. I deserved better. I think that he knew that, but I wasn’t sure if it made much of a difference in my mind.
“Really? How could you do that?” I was offended. “How could you follow me like that?”
“I needed to see you. I don’t know how to make you understand what it’s like.” His eyes pleaded with me, but his voice did not. I didn’t know what to make of it.
I stepped back and my butt hit the railing. I had forgotten that I was on that balcony. “I don’t understand.”
He looked down and backed up a couple of steps. He was heading back towards the door. “I know, I know. It was wrong. I should never have done it.”
I felt guilty. I couldn’t quite place where the feeling had come from, but if the effects that he had on my body were any indication, his actions might actually be understandable. A part of me wondered what physical and mental effects this ordeal was having on him. I had been losing my inhibitions slowly over this. Maybe it was affecting him the same way. Maybe he was my dragon. I didn’t know. I didn’t know how to ask that question, or whether there was even a way to ask that question. I didn’t know what to do. I decided to change the subject.
I would take some time to think about it later. Right now other questions swam in my head. “What’s it like to change like that?”
He looked a little surprised at my question. I think I had caught him off guard. “What?”
“What’s it like to be a dragon?” I asked again, this time wording it a little better.
“I don’t know how it’s any different than being what you are.” He shrugged a little, looking at me carefully. “I’ve always been this way. It’s just the life that I’ve always known.”
He didn’t answer my question. I had noticed that, but I wasn’t sure if he even knew how to answer. I chose to accept it, worried I might have stumbled into a territory I couldn’t comprehend. “Why were you fighting that bear?”
“I don’t want to talk about that. I’m just glad it’s over now.” Alistair’s face was grim.
“I’m sorry, I just wanted to know. I had been worried for days after that.”
“You’re a great woman, you know that. Who else would stop and try to help an injured creature that could eat you in one gulp.”
“I didn’t even think about that, honestly.” Now I was, and my heart was starting to beat a little faster. “So, do you do parties like this a lot?”
“Nope, they only do crazy parties like this when a dragon blooded person needs to find their dragon.” He explained. “So it doesn’t happen that often anymore.”
“Really, because everyone here seems so practiced at this kind of thing. I don’t get it.”
“You don’t have to. I don’t think anyone here really gets it.” He shrugged,
he was starting to smile again and it felt good. I wondered if he really meant it or if he was doing it for my benefit.
“Can I see you change?” It was a selfish question.
“I usually don’t put on a show.”
I was horrified. “I didn’t mean it like that. I was just curious. I’m so sorry. I didn’t want to offend you.” I was on the defensive.
I believed that I had made a major mistake, screwing up every bit of conversation that we had had until this point. To say that I was mortified by my embarrassing words would be an understatement. I struggled to find myself a solid bit of leg to stand on. I found myself wondering about what he was going to say, how he was going to walk away and the fact that I had just blown my only shot to see what he was like as he changed. I was curious, but that didn’t give me permission to ask questions like that.
I was still chastising myself when I heard him laugh. “It’s ok, really. I guess you would be curious about it. It’s perfectly natural. I forget sometimes that you come from the normal world.”
“They consider it normal. I don’t think you consider it normal.” It definitely was a little bit of a culture clash. That would probably give me a decent explanation for the dread I felt at the possibility of going back into that party.
“The humans would panic if they knew about us. That was a horrible time. So many of us died when they believed in us. When they could see us.” He explained.
I could tell that he was preparing to change and my stomach tightened. I couldn’t tell if I was excited or afraid, maybe it was a little of both. His body began to morph, but it didn’t take long. I couldn’t tell if changing hurt him or not, so I made a mental note to ask him about that later. He shifted, his entire form elongating and his clothes seeming to just fade away. He was exuding some sort of strange light as his face grew a scaled snout and his hair just kind of faded away.
I don’t know how to explain it. It wasn’t like the movies, but rather something that seemed a lot closer to a large light causing his entire body to change. It was hard to get the details of the transformation because the light seemed to burst out of his skin, cutting through any obstacle. I had to look away, was blinding.
He was something magical. I loved it and felt my heart jump into my throat. He started to rise off the balcony. I was certain that it was a good thing. I didn’t think the balcony could handle the weight of the beast that he was in the process of becoming.
*
He was flying through the air. I was surprised by his maneuverability. He could really turn on a dime. I felt the air seem to just whoosh around him, the wind aiding his magically powered flight, because in truth, it didn’t look like dragons were exactly built for flying, but I could’ve been wrong. I wasn’t exactly a biologist. I stared at him, watching him swoop and soar, his glittering scales showing some sort of hypnotic hue that glittered in the light of the moon. It looked like something from a fairy tale and I would be lying if I said that I wasn’t having the time of my life.
He stared at me as he flew by. His eyes were the same, the intense ones that I remembered so clearly. The beautiful amber nearly captured my breath and I reached out. He flew closer, my dragon, my Alistair. I knew it now and I don’t know why I was thinking about that now, but I knew it. This creature was something that I loved, a beautiful beast with the brain and heart of a man.
I wondered what it would be like to ride a dragon, but it wouldn’t be appropriate to ask that question. This was not a beast of burden, not a horse or a car. He was majestic and I couldn’t explain how mystical it all seemed. I was in some sort of dream as my fingers raked against his wing as he soared so close to where I was. The scales were smooth and cold as they rushed by me. It was something real, tangible; something that I could touch and feel and take home with me at night.
To say that I needed that touch in this unrealistic circumstance would be an understatement. Perhaps it would be the understatement of the century. It wasn’t the first time that I had brushed my fingers across the scales, but this time was different. I wasn’t concerned about some injury or damage to the creature. I didn’t have to be concerned. He was healed, but still I had no idea how he had healed from the injury so quickly. Sometimes, I still had to remind myself exactly how little time had passed, but I was in heaven.
Alistair, my dragon, the thoughts raced through my head. Could I ever go back to my previous life? Could I live with this knowledge and go back to the office? Would I ever stop thinking about him? His amber eyes seemed to embrace me as he made another pass. I just stared into them. A connection was forming, but I didn’t know the word for it yet.
He broke the gaze and started to wheel over. He was doing a barrel roll and I laughed like I was watching some sort of strange change come over me. I had a thousand things to do; a million little thoughts that had escaped from me. Nothing else mattered but the fact that I had a dragon doing somersaults in the air for me. I laughed, enjoying the moment. It was magical. Something about it just made me feel like a kid again, and it looked like he was feeling that same way. I grinned and laughed and my face and sides were starting to get sore.
I was so drawn to the sight of Alistair dipping and diving around in the air that I didn’t notice Toby walking out of the bushes below me. Alistair stopped playing around. The games had ended and he was staring down at the ground. When I followed the dragon’s gaze, I could easily see the man on the ground. Toby was practically snarling in rage and I could recognize his costume. He was the first man, the man that had taken me from the dance and into that secretive room. I was starting to understand why that old lady had been staring at me so violently.
Toby was glaring. His eyes held pure rage and it sent a shudder up my spine. I didn’t like the way he was looking at my dragon and I could tell that there was a certain amount of animosity between the two of them. I didn’t know the cause, and frankly, I was more worried about what was going to happen. Was Toby a dragon as well? Was he going to kill Alistair? What was going to happen? I worried uncontrollably about this, but there wasn’t anything I was going to be able to do about it. Toby’s body began to change, but there was no light there, only fur starting to burst through his skin and costume. Toby was the bear. The same bear that I had seen attack the dragon before.
“I can’t believe it.” I struggled to grasp what was being revealed, at what was going to happen right in front my eyes. I stared from the bear to the dragon, trying to decide if there was anything that I could do about any of it. The bear couldn’t do anything, however. Alistair was too high up in the air. The bear couldn’t reach him and couldn’t reach me. We ignored him, and I was glad for it.
Alistair swooped closer and closer to me and I could feel the breeze that his moving body created. “This is amazing.” I was yelling in glee.
I swear the dragon grinned back at me, but I couldn’t really tell as he swooped down one more time, this time coming closer than ever. His head dipped underneath me and he lifted me up onto the back of his head. I held on tight, eager for the ride I was about to go on. My heart sailed as we took off toward the clouds. He didn’t take me too high, for some reason, I think he was taking into account that I wasn’t built for high altitude.
Still, it was a magical flight. I felt my stomach begin to dance with the start of motion sickness, but I fought it off. I was enjoying myself too much. I loved this and wasn’t ready for it to end when he landed back on the ground. I laughed and hugged my dragon, the dragon that had been born to me. Well, I don’t know if that’s true. We don’t have the same birthday or anything. Alistair is a couple of years older than me. It’s still a little strange to think about it that way, but somewhere, in the back of my head, that’s what I believe, that’s how I think about it. I looked around. We weren’t near the house anymore. We were on a secluded mountain top, surrounded by nature. It was just the two of us and nothing could make me happier. I gazed around in the moonlight, feeling a little exposed without a place to hide.
&nb
sp; “I can’t get you off of my mind.” The voice startled me a bit. I hadn’t been expecting it. I turned around. Alistair was human again.
“I’m sorry?”
“I have to tell you this.”
“Tell me what? I don’t think I caught what you were saying.” That was a lie; I just needed some time to figure out how to respond. I was stalling to figure out how I really felt.
“I can’t get you off of my mind. I’m always thinking about you.” His face had lengthened as he stared at me.
“I don’t know what to say.” It was the truth. How does anyone respond to that sort of confession?
“I don’t expect you to say anything, but I needed to tell you.” He moved closer and my heart started to race.
“I think I just need to think about that for a while.”
“I know.” He smiled at me. “It’s a lot to take in. This can’t be easy for you.” He touched my arm and the sparks flew through my spine. The shudder was involuntary. “Are you cold?”
“No.”
“I should never have brought you out here.” He was confessing. “I don’t know what made me do it. You aren’t dressed for the mountain air.”
I laughed a little. “I don’t regret it. This was amazing. I never thought that this was possible.” I was talking about the flight, but he didn’t seem to understand what I was talking about. “I never thought anyone could fly like that.”
“I’m glad that you enjoyed it.” Alistair smiled. “But we should get you back as soon as possible. It’s too cold up on this mountain.” He transformed once again and it was no less beautiful.
He picked me up, lifting gently with a taloned claw so that I could climb up onto his back a little easier. Again, we took off into the air, swooping and diving on another magical flight through the clear skies outside of Kansas City. I could see the city in the distance, glittering and bright. It was getting brighter and larger. We were getting closer to the city, but we were destined not to get all the way there.