“Yes. I know,” Ryn said, sorting the fabric.
“’Tis a nice design ye made,” Coira said. The turnabout seemed as if she was trying to coax Ryn into keeping her mind here, instead of elsewhere.
Sophie’s phone rang. When she answered it, she turned and smiled at Ryn. “All right.” She paused. “Okay. I’ll let her know.” She hung up and grinned widely. “That was Tuck. He and John are back.”
“And?” Ryn said, knowing there was more.
“He wants to know if we need him for anything.” Sophie looked ready to bust out laughing. “Ryn, do you?”
Yes, Ryn needed Tuck, but she certainly wasn’t going to say so.
Coira tilted her head to the side. “Are ye sweet on Tuck?”
Ryn started to deny it, but Sophie jumped in first.
“Coira, we have this, don’t we? Ryn should head back to her cottage and rest. It takes a long time to heal from surgery.” Sophie was laying it on thick.
Coira squinted at her as if her glasses couldn’t examine the situation close enough. Finally, she answered. “Aye. But don’t be late in the morn.”
Ryn didn’t hang around, in case she changed her mind. She said goodnight and hurried home, anticipation quickening her pace. From her spot in the road, Ryn could see the lights on in Tuck’s cottage.
“I guess that’s where we’re going to meet,” she said to the wind.
She knocked on his door, and when he answered, she had to laugh. His sleeves were pushed up to his elbows and his masculine hands wore yellow rubber gloves. “Suzy Homemaker?”
But then she noticed his face—full of emotion. Yes, he was happy to see her, but there was something more there. Vulnerability?
He pulled her in, closed the door, and then hauled her in for a kiss. Once again, it was full of emotion.
“Are you all right?” she asked.
“Just a trying day.”
“Maybe I can make it better.”
“Ye have already.”
His words made her insides go all gooey and warm. He’d done so much for her—making her feel welcome in Scotland, his friendship, and taking care of her. It thrilled her she could do the same for him. Not to repay him, but just to be there for him, like he was for her. She whispered in his ear, “Make love to me, Tuck.”
Her words turned him feverish and he kissed her hard, only to pull away quickly. He searched her eyes. “Can we? But aren’t you still recovering?”
She nodded. “I’m fine. I Googled it. As long as we’re careful, it’ll be okay.” She wanted him so badly that even if every website doctor in the world said she had to wait another week, she was going to be with Tuck tonight anyway! But everywhere she checked online, the news was good. She slipped her hands inside his clothing and pushed his jacket from his shoulders.
He looked conflicted. “Gawd, Ryn, I know I should be strong and insist we wait—”
“It’s okay. I promise to tell you if something starts to hurt.” She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him down. “Now kiss me.”
He surprised her by gently scooping her off her feet and into his arms, and then carrying her to his bed.
She laid her head on his shoulder. “Tell me you have some protection?”
“Always,” he said. And then as if realizing how that might sound, he sputtered, “I mean, it’s best to—”
She put a finger to his lips. “Don’t worry about it.” She knew his heart.
“No other woman has ever looked at me the way ye do. As if you see who I really am.”
“You’re a good man, Tuck MacBride.” The best man she’d ever known. “Do me a favor, though. Lose the rubber gloves.”
He laid her on the bed and as he rid himself of the gloves, she felt compelled to warn him.
“My incisions…are ugly,” she said, hugging her stomach.
“Nay, they couldn’t be ugly if they’re yeres. Everything about you is beautiful.” He seemed so sincere she couldn’t help but believe he spoke from his heart.
He leaned over to kiss her as he got in the bed with her. “Ryn, I care for you so much. I think I—,”
She silenced him by putting her finger to his lips again. “No talking.” If he was going to announce his feelings, and later, it turned out to be bullshit, she didn’t want to hear it. For this moment, she wanted to believe he cared for her…deeply. She needed rose-colored glasses now. She needed him.
Tuck made love to her like no one ever had. His bed became a world unto its own, where her past and his past didn’t exist. When they were done, they held each other and dozed. Somewhere in the night, they made love again, and she knew she’d fallen in love with him. All would’ve been right with the world, except the reality was this magical time couldn’t last.
Deep in her heart, she couldn’t pull off being a torrid affair type of woman. She’d never been the kind to even have a one-night-stand. Also, if they kept making love like this, sooner or later, she would start planning a future for him and her, which wasn’t going to happen. Because Tuck wouldn’t want her, if he knew the truth. She couldn’t have him for always. Only for now. What a lie she told herself that she could have an affair, a fling, and walk away unscathed. She fell back to sleep and woke with a start.
“’Tis yere phone,” Tuck said, groggily. He reached over the side of the bed and then handed her phone to her.
“Hello,” Ryn said, her morning voice sounding more like Kermit the Frog’s than her own.
“Where are ye?” Deydie hollered. “I’m here. Ye’re not.”
Ryn sat up. “What time is it?”
“Ye’re late! Get yere arse to the castle. The retreat is set to start in eighteen minutes.”
“Oh crap,” Ryn said. “I’ll be right there.”
All her doubt came back. Her love for Tuck was for naught. She’d been warm and cozy in his arms through the night, but the cold hard truth of the morning smacked her, surely as if Deydie had whacked her with her broom. Ryn pulled the quilt up, covering her nakedness.
Tuck stood, grabbing his boxers. “Let me make ye some tea before ye go.”
“No. I have to get over to my cottage.” Ryn felt awkward, their dreamy bubble ruptured with a single phone call. “I need a quick shower. Deydie sounds like she’s going to skin me alive.”
Ryn cringed at Tuck’s frown. He knew she was pulling away. But he just didn’t understand.
“I’ll see you tonight?” he asked.
When she hesitated, his frown grew.
“I don’t know.” She slipped on her shirt and snatched up her bra, clutching it in her hand. “So much to do.”
Tuck turned his back on her and Ryn wondered if that was an omen of things to come.
* * *
Maggie pulled up to Kilheath Castle, her nerves threatening to overtake her as she turned off the car. “I shouldn’t be here.” No matter how many times she said she wasn’t going to check up on John, she couldn’t help herself. She ached for him.
She looked around the grounds of the castle, but saw no one. She could’ve saved on petrol by riding along with Deydie an hour earlier, but that would’ve required dodging Deydie’s questions as to why Maggie had wanted to come to Whussendale.
“I have every right to be here. I’m here to help with the retreat, is all.” That would be her excuse when she was asked. And she would be asked. The truth was Maggie couldn’t stand it anymore. She had to get a glimpse of her husband.
She pulled out her phone and texted her mother: I’ve come to help. Meet me outside.
Sure, Maggie could walk in alone, but she’d feel better if her mum was beside her. She and Coira didn’t always get along, but that didn’t mean she didn’t love her. And need her. The one thing she did know was she and her mum got along much better when they weren’t living in the same village. Mother-daughter relationships are complicated, Maggie thought.
She got out of the car as Coira came through the kitchen door.
“Get in here,” her mother said,
with a confused expression on her face. “I didn’t know ye were coming. We better hurry. We’re set to start any minute.”
At that moment, John and Tuck came from around the other side of the castle and halted as soon as they saw her. What seemed weird to Maggie was how the two of them looked like a couple of chums. But how could John and Tuck be friends? Especially after what Tuck had done.
Maggie couldn’t hear what Tuck said to her husband, but his words looked in earnest. At first John shook his head no, and Tuck’s response was to shove John in her direction!
What in hell is going on here? She felt like she’d stepped into an alternate universe, as John walked toward her and with Tuck grinning in the background.
“What are ye waiting for?” Coira said.
Maggie didn’t know.
John stopped in front of her, looking as if this was his first time he’d been this close to her. “Do ye want to go on a walk with me?”
The question took her off-guard. “When?”
“Now.” He cranked his head around and glanced at Coira, then back at Maggie. “If ye can get away.”
Giddiness built inside her, the same way it had the first time John had asked her out when they were teens.
“Okay,” Maggie said.
“This way.” John led her toward the loch behind the castle.
Maggie hadn’t felt this happy in a long time. And she wondered then, if she’d dropped the ball. Had she let the weight of parenting, housekeeping, and life in general, keep her from putting her relationship with John first? For being with John made her feel as if she was her best self. And she loved her husband more than anything in the world.
“Maggie,” her mum hollered. “I thought ye were going to help with the retreat.”
Maggie smiled at John and then at her mother. “I got a better offer.”
John took her hand and Maggie leaned into him.
She didn’t want to ruin what was happening, but she had to know. “Tell me. What’s going on with you and Tuck?”
* * *
Tuck watched as Maggie and John walked away, hand in hand, and he felt pretty great about himself. He’d forced John to talk to his wife and it looked as if things were going well. But now Tuck was stuck fixing the carding machine on his own.
He resisted every temptation to go inside and check in on Ryn. Just to see her. He didn’t understand why or how things had become awkward between them this morning. Everything had been spot-on. More than spot-on. It had been perfect! He’d never felt like this about a woman. Not even Elspeth. And he was beginning to see just how much of a boy he’d been back then. A strange thought crossed his mind. I should forgive Elspeth. He looked up at heaven. That was the one thing he’d sworn he would never do. But now, his feelings for Elspeth seemed inconsequential when compared with how he felt about Ryn in the here and now.
“I wish you well, Elspeth. Wherever you may be,” he said, as he walked down the road, though only the trees on either side heard him. He meant it, really meant it, and his step became lighter.
When he arrived at the wool mill, Lara bounded out of the dye shack. “Hold up.”
Tuck stopped and waited for her to join him. “How was the date with Declan?”
“Good. And I wanted to tell you that you were right.”
“I like the sound of that. It’s not something I hear very often. But what am I right about?”
Lara flipped her hair at Tuck. “Declan was a much better choice for me.” She laughed, nearly skipping as she made her way to the office.
When Tuck arrived at the carding area, he got right to work on the scribbler machine. The problem wasn’t an easy one, which was great for him. He needed something to distract himself from the problem with Ryn. Two hours passed before the scribbler was working again. Moments later, John arrived.
“Where’s Maggie?” Tuck asked.
“She went home to the kids.” John knelt down to inspect Tuck’s work.
“I thought you might go home with her.”
“Not today.” John patted Tuck on the back. “You and I are heading back into the city to pick up my prosthetic.”
“Now?”
“Aye.”
Tuck looked at his greasy hands. “Let me clean up first.”
Fifteen minutes later, they were on the road.
Tuck glanced over at John, who was grinning. “I take it things went well on yere walk?”
“I think she’s forgiven me for being a horse’s arse.”
“That’s good,” Tuck said, feeling his world tilt a little bit back into place.
“And you? How has it worked out with Maggie’s cousin?” John asked.
Tuck didn’t know what to say. “I think I messed it up. And I’m not sure what I did.”
“Aye,” John said, as if he’d experienced the same phenomenon in his own relationship.
“Everything was fine. Wonderful even. And then things changed.”
“They always do,” John said. “Take heart. That’s my only advice.”
“Ryn can’t have kids,” Tuck blurted out, though he had no idea why. But maybe it’d been weighing on his mind. “I’ll kick yere arse if ye tell anyone. I’m not supposed to know.”
John stared at him, circumspect. “First, of course, ye can trust me not to tell anyone. And secondly, how do you know Ryn can’t have kids?”
“I overheard her tell Cait.”
“Oh?” John said. “Overheard?”
“The window was open. It’s not like I had my ear pressed to the wall or anything.”
John nodded, seeming satisfied. “I can tell ye have feelings for the lass. Is this a game-changer?”
“It’s not like we’re getting married or anything. It’s just…I want her to know I’m okay with it.” Tuck felt super awkward, wishing he hadn’t brought up the subject. “In case, you know, things do go further.”
“Are things going to go further?” John said.
“I don’t know,” Tuck said, feeling more than a little annoyed. And pressured. The truth was, he’d liked to see if he and Ryn could go the distance.
“How do ye feel about children? Would ye be okay not having any bairns of yere own?”
“I’ve always liked kids. Hannah is great. So are Dand and Mattie. But I haven’t been able to visualize having any of my own.” Not since Elspeth. In the next second, Tuck had to acknowledge that wasn’t true. Ryn had him thinking about having a family again. With her! And all the time, too. “We could adopt. Look at little Glenna and sixteen-year-old Harry. There are kids out there that need parents.”
John nodded. “Then I think ye should talk to Ryn. Tell her ye’re okay with adoption.”
“We’re not exactly to that point.” Though Tuck had gotten there awfully fast himself. He was ready to have a serious conversation with her about the future. “Besides, it would be awkward. I’d have to admit to eavesdropping. And that would make me look like a bastard.” He glanced at John. “I didn’t do it on purpose. It was an accident.”
“Let me think for a minute.” John paused and stared out the front window as if pondering where he might set his fishing nets next. Finally he spoke, “If I were you, I’d drop hints here and there, to let her know where you stand. You know, say things like I don’t need children to be happy. That way, it’ll force her to bring up the subject, give her a chance to tell you that she can’t have kids.”
“I don’t know,” Tuck said honestly. “What if she doesn’t take the bait?”
“Trust me, mate. It’s the best way. Ryn will take the hint and understand. That way ye need not mention that ye eavesdropped. Women are so intuitive that it’s scary.” Once again, John acted as if he’d had firsthand experience. “Dangle the idea in front of her and she’ll run with it. And all will be well.”
“Okay,” Tuck said. “But if this doesn’t work, what am I going to do then?”
“We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.” John smiled at him as if he had Tuck’s back.
And Tuck realized that perhaps he had more than just Andrew for a brother. John had become a brother, too. How could they have gotten to this place? Especially after the journey they’d been on and the circumstances they’d been through.
Tuck waited in the lobby for John while he received his prosthetic. When he came out, John looked more than a little sheepish.
He lifted up his metal tonged hand. “It’ll take some getting used to. But I’m determined.”
On the way back, the two talked of everything and nothing, but along the way, they made some critical decisions about the maintenance schedule for the wool mill.
Tuck glanced over at John. “What are your plans in the upcoming days? I think ye should ask your wife to go on a picnic with you.”
“That’s actually not a bad idea. I know just the place to take her, too,” John said. “And you? What’s your next step with Ryn?”
“I’m going to ask her out.”
John nodded. “It’s about damn time.”
The second Tuck arrived home in Whussendale, he texted Ryn: Let’s go out tonight on a proper date.
Moments later, Ryn replied: I can’t. Coira and I are hosting the quilters for dinner and then evening entertainment. I’m staying at the castle until the retreat is over. Deydie insists.
Desperation crowded in and Tuck couldn’t ignore the truth any longer. Ryn was slipping away. And there wasn’t a damn thing he could do about it.
Unless…he decided to sign up for the retreat, too.
* * *
John walked swiftly from the car to his cottage, wanting to be alone for this phone conversation with Maggie. Helping Tuck with his love life had energized him into working on his own. The walk with Maggie this morning was a good start, but he needed to do more.
As soon as the door was closed behind him, he rang up his wife.
When she answered, John felt as if he could fly. Sail over Whussendale and straight into the harbor of Gandiegow.
“Would ye and the children like to go on a picnic with me today?”
Blame It on Scotland Page 26