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“Sure. ” He opened up his door and got out. I trotted up to my apartment and opened the door. Once he was in, I latched all the chain locks again. Ti looked bemused.
“Am I supposed to be keeping an eye on you, or are you supposed to be keeping an eye on me?”
“To be honest, I’m not sure. Both, maybe? I need a shower, and I need to sleep. How about you?”
“Just the one. I don’t think I ever want to sleep again. ” He waved the thought away. “No offense to people who need to. ”
“All right then. Dibs on the shower, because it’s mine. ” And because after a wounded zombie showers, there might be … clots. I got a towel out of my linen closet and threw it down on the couch for him. “Wait here. ”
I couldn’t help but think about how in other circumstances, if our lives had been different, the chance to take a shower with Ti might have been sexy. Now—no. That door had closed. I wasn’t sure when it had happened, or how, but when I searched my heart, I knew it was true. Maybe because someone else was there instead. My heart always liked to bet on the darker, more damaged horse. I sighed and looked down—my ankles still had red marks on them that were tender to touch after the snakes. At least Asher wasn’t full of snakes—just other people. I got out of the shower, dried my hair, and threw on clothes. Ti stood up when I entered the room.
“Your turn. ”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah. You can’t stay out here like you are now. ” I pressed a smile on, as if the events of tonight had never happened. As if I hadn’t had my hands covered in other people’s blood.
“Okay. ” He nodded and stepped around me. A few seconds later I heard the water running. I went into the kitchen and made myself coffee. There was a knock at my door.
“You have got to be kidding me. ” I set my coffee down and walked over to the peephole, barefoot. Asher stood outside, looking bedraggled. I started unlatching the locks.
“Hec-tor. ” I stuttered while saying the right name. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah. Are you?” His eyes were scanning me, as if to make sure I was still whole. Knowing who he was inside, and who he might be after the seventeenth—I wanted to say more, but the seventeenth was only two days away. Technically, it started at midnight tomorrow night. I shouldn’t want to fall on my sword again, like I had with Ti. “Are you sure you’re okay?” he went on, worried by my silence. “I couldn’t ask you back there, but if anything happened to you—”
“I’m fine. Honest. ” I nodded quickly to make him believe.
There’d been familiarity between us before, a willingness to touch each other without fear. I wanted that back, no matter who he looked like now. Screw being afraid of getting hurt.
He stepped in, and I didn’t move—I wanted him to step into me.
“Edie?” Ti asked from the hallway, emerging with a towel wrapped around his waist—and several flesh wounds visible on his chest.
“Ti—” I looked back at him and gestured toward Asher, who was perilously close. “This—Asher’s here—” I explained lamely, then swallowed. Ti didn’t know Hector was Asher yet.
“It’s okay. ” Asher looked from Ti to me, and stepped back outside again. “I was just coming for my keys. ”
I shook my head. I didn’t want to shout out that it wasn’t like that, but I could see his assumptions on his face. “Asher—”
“Asher?” Ti began. I could see the beginning of a change on Asher’s face, as if his other form was being summoned by his name.
“You’ll keep her safe, won’t you?” Asher asked of Ti, taking a step farther back on my stoop, into shadows.
“Asher, don’t go. ”
“Don’t apologize, Edie. In a few days—” He held his hand out, not for me to see anything, but because I would know what he meant. On the seventeeth his hands would be fully Hector’s … or no one’s at all. “Keep the car. I’ll take the train. ” He turned and went down my stairs.
* * *
Maybe I should have run after him. Or maybe he was right. I was exhausted by too much too fast tonight.
“That was Asher?” Ti asked me. “How long has he been pretending to be the doc?”
“Seven months or so. ” I stood in my doorway, looking out, willing Asher to return.
“I didn’t mean to startle him, Edie. ”
“No, it’s okay. You were just trying to keep an eye on me is all. And I’m still keeping an eye on you. ” I tried to sound as light as I had earlier and failed. There wasn’t enough coffee in the world to help me fake it.
“It’s been a long night. You should get to bed. ”
“Yeah. I should. ”
“I’ve wrung out my clothes. I’ll leave them in your shower to air-dry overnight. ”
“I’ll get you sheets for the couch. ” I came back with them. He was still wearing just a towel.
“Edie—I’m sorry. ” He jerked his chin at the doorway where Asher had been.
I held up my hand and passed the sheets over. “I don’t think I can take any more apologies tonight. ”
CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE
It was noon when I woke up. The rain had stopped, but it was still gray out, thick clouds with the promise of more to come. I stumbled into my living room, where Ti was lying on my couch. He nodded when I came in.
“Did you have a good night?” I asked him.
“I remember all of it. It’s a start. ” He was on top of the sheets and had his clothes on, though they looked worse for the wear. He still had the faint smell of rot. “I need to go now. I thought you should know. I wanted to stay to tell you. ” He swung his feet down so he was sitting. “I think we’re going to be fighting again tonight, and I don’t want to be at half speed. ”
I read between the lines. He was telling me he was going to go out to feed. If he and I had stayed together, how many times over would we have had that conversation in code? Would I be okay with it? Was I okay with it now? “Thanks for letting me know. ”
He stood and started walking toward me for the door at my back. “I didn’t want to just leave this time, you know?”
I nodded and hugged myself with my arms. Better late than never. “Thanks, Ti. I appreciate that. ”
“Edie—” he began, drawing up his face to one side like he was going to say something else.
I leaned back and quickly opened up the door. “You should really be going. I have to visit my mom soon. I’ll see you tonight. ” I didn’t want to let him in, not even a little bit.
He sighed.
“Okay. ” He nodded at me and walked out. I watched him go until the rain began again and hid him from me.
* * *
Once Ti was gone I folded into my couch. Was Asher at work today or not? I sent him a text message, one I probably should have sent last night. “That wasn’t what it seemed,” and “Again, tonight? Reina’s?”
Tonight was likely the last night we could save Adriana. It was officially the seventeenth at midnight tonight. And if we didn’t find Adriana, then I wouldn’t have any leverage over Luz, and Santa Muerte would belong to Maldonado, costing me the only thing I could trade to the Shadows for my mom. Tonight was the night. Wherever we went tonight, whatever we did—I wasn’t going to stay behind again.
I got up, went into the bathroom, brushed out my hair, and put on clothes. And then I made the hardest phone call of my life.
She picked up on the third ring. “Hey, Mom. ”
“Hi, honey!” She sounded happy to hear from me. “What’s up?”
“Nothing much. I just wanted to tell you that I love you. ”
“Awwww, that’s sweet of you. I love you too, dear. Are you coming by tonight?”
“No. We’ve got a meeting scheduled after work. ” If I went by now, and I was scared, she’d root me out. Mothers had a kind of magic too. “But I’ll come by tomorrow afternoon, if that’s okay. ”
“Sure.
I’ve got a doctor’s appointment at three—come over before then, or after six?”
“Can do. ”
“I always love hearing from you. ”
“Thanks, Mom. I love you. ”
“I love you too,” she said again, and I hung up. If she knew what I was doing for her, if she understood everything that was involved, she’d tell me to stop it, that she wasn’t worth it.
She’d be wrong.
* * *
My next phone call was going to be to County—I still had their main information line in my phone. But I didn’t know Catrina’s last name, and she might not be able to speak right now besides. I put on all my silver again, grabbed my purse, and ran out to my car in the rain.
The information desk wasn’t much help when I got there, without a last name. But County was a big facility—even though I hit one dead end, it wasn’t hard to leave and loop back in through another unguarded door. I had a suspicion where she’d be at, and it was late enough that some of my old co-workers might remember me as an occasional float nurse there. Through a combination of persistence and luck, I found her in medical ICU. I waved, and she waved back, and it was good enough for her nurse to let me in.
“What’s happening tonight?” she asked slowly as soon as I was close enough to hear her.
“Nothing you’re going to be a part of. How do you feel?” I read the numbers on her monitor. Everything looked fine.
“They found the bullet. It took them a while. ” She was pressed flat against the bed like someone who was on the good drugs. I knew if I started fondling IV bags I’d draw her nurse’s ire—but her pupils were wide and her movements slow. Even if she wasn’t on a narcotic drip, she’d been getting them frequently—and understandably, if they’d been fishing inside her guts for a ricocheted round. “What’s going on?”
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