He ground his teeth and increased his pace to put as much distance between himself and the hotel as quickly as possible. There were two certain answers for Mr. Winterman’s threat to take Virginia home. And if he stayed at the hotel...
A groan ripped from his throat. The way she had looked at him. More than anything, he’d wanted to take her in his arms and comfort her—and he couldn’t trust himself to do so. She was too vulnerable, and he was so drawn to her that he didn’t dare touch her. Not now. Not until he decided once and for all what he wanted—and what he was willing to risk for it. And if he saw her father before he’d cooled down...well, his staying away from the hotel tonight was best for all of them.
The cold air didn’t help. He pushed himself to walk faster. There was enough moonlight to identify objects as he neared them, but hopefully, not enough for anyone who happened to look out a window to notice him walking up the road. Thankfully, the depot was only a short distance from town.
He stepped off the road into the deep snow and skirted around the railroad station platform so his footsteps wouldn’t alert Asa Marsh to his presence. The faint moonlight glinted on the metal rails. He crossed the tracks and walked under the water tower to the road that led to Mitch’s sawmill and barn, then slowed his steps and looked around to make sure none of Mitch’s workers were outside the bunkhouse. How would he ever explain his presence? I’m spending the night in the barn because I don’t trust myself to be in the same house as my wife? He’d never live that down. He crept forward, opened the barn door slightly and squeezed through. The smell of dust and feed and hay greeted him. Low whickers called to him.
He stopped and waited for his eyes to adjust to the deeper darkness. If he remembered right, the stack of hay for bedding was straight ahead, and horse blankets hung over a post rail to the left. He grabbed one, shook it out and carried it to the mound of hay. If he burrowed into the stack, no one would spot him with a casual glance. He brushed the clinging snow from his pant legs and wrapped himself in the horse blanket.
His lips twitched. This would be funny, if he wasn’t so pitiful. He owned a hotel with eighteen rooms and his own living quarters, and he was spending the night in a pile of hay! He blew out a breath, pulled hay over the blanket and closed his eyes. He had to decide before morning what he wanted. Should he keep his distance and stay safe? Or should he give in to his emotions, go back to the hotel and ask Virginia to be his true wife? His heart thudded. The way she had returned his kiss...
He shifted his position, pulled his hat down to cover his ears. As painful as it would be to lose her now, if he allowed himself to love her and she deserted him one day...
The thought stabbed like a knife into his heart. The knot in his stomach twisted tighter. Perhaps the best answer for both of them was for her to go home with her father. Virginia deserved a man who could love her wholly, without reservation. He would always be holding part of his heart away from her, watching and waiting...
He opened his eyes and stared into the darkness, sick at heart and furious for being that way. For the first time since his mother had abandoned him, he wished he still believed in God.
* * *
Virginia lifted the damp cloth from her head and waved it through the air to cool it. She refolded it and placed it back over her eyes. She had finally stopped crying and started facing the truth. Garret had challenged her father not because he loved her, but because he was a man, with a man’s instincts to protect what was his. And she was his wife, even though a pretend one.
Her mind skipped to the thunder snowstorm, to the way he had held her with such strength yet gentleness. To the way—no! She must stop thinking that his kiss meant he cared for her. He had kissed her for the same reason he had confronted her father—instinct. His kiss had nothing to do with any...affection he might have for her. She was nothing more to him than a serving girl in his dining room. It was true enough that he needed her—but only in order to keep his hotel.
The painful truth drove her to her feet. She laid the folded cloth across the glass bowl that held her hairpins and walked over to look out the window. It was dark, with only a sliver of moon showing above the shadowed pines. Tears stung her swollen eyes. She’d come to love the view of the towering trees with the mountains soaring behind them. Would she have to give it up? Would she have to leave Whisper Creek? She had just met the residents at church last Sunday. And she had liked Audrey Latherop and Katherine Warren immediately. She wanted to get to know them. To have the two couples over for a meal and an evening’s entertainment.
The tears welled, slipped down her cheeks. She wiped them away and wrapped her arms about herself. She wanted to be married. Really married. To Garret. She wanted to have his baby. To have him treat her as if she were fragile and precious, the way Blake Latherop treated Audrey. To have him hold their child with love in his eyes and a proud smile on his face, the way Dr. Warren looked when he held little Howard. She’d never wanted those things before. But she ached to have them now.
What was she to do? The question kept forming in her thoughts, but she knew the answer. Garret had shown her what to do when he’d turned his back, gone into his office and closed the door, leaving her standing outside. He didn’t want her in his life—not in any personal way. Certainly not as his true wife. And that meant she couldn’t stay.
She wanted to. Her heart longed to. But her pride wouldn’t allow it. Not when Garret didn’t love her. It was too painful. And it would only grow more so as time went on. It would be better to leave now.
Her stomach clenched, churned. Sobs burst from her throat. She ran to her bed, threw herself facedown and cried out her heartache on her pillow.
* * *
She looked terrible. Virginia pinned her hair into a curly mass at the crown of her head, added the flat gray bow and turned from the mirror. She had done all she could to hide the evidence of her sleepless, tear-filled night. A cold cloth had taken away the puffiness around her eyes, but nothing helped the faint lavender circles beneath them. And she had wanted to look her best. She knew it wouldn’t happen. But her heart clung stubbornly to the hope that Garret might ask her to stay.
She shook out the top tier of the long skirt on her gray striped dress, straightened the scalloped hem and braced herself to face the day. Please let it be a busy day, Lord.
She glanced at the double-door cupboard in the hallway and remembered her struggle to make her bed when she’d first arrived. The sight of the hearth assailed her with memories of Garret bringing her coffee and removing her boots. She’d been afraid of him then. She held her breath to stop the tears stinging the backs of her eyes and walked into the kitchen. “Good morning.”
“Good morning, dear.” Mrs. Fuller looked up from the bowl she was holding and smiled. “You’ve put your hair up again.”
The first time had been because she wanted to look older for Garret. She swallowed hard and nodded. Must everything have a memory of Garret attached to it? She took her apron off its hook and tied it on, thought about burning his stew. “What’s for breakfast this morning?”
“Ham and sausage, pancakes, eggs, fried potatoes, oatmeal and cinnamon rolls.”
She put a smile on her face. “And coffee.”
Mrs. Fuller smiled and spooned flour into the bowl. “Lots of coffee.”
She fought down another rush of tears. She would miss Mrs. Fuller. The older woman had become almost like a mother to her. “Liu Yang, come here, please. I’m going to show you how to prepare the tables for meals.” She placed a large tray on the worktable. “We will start with one table with four place settings. Do you know what four is?”
“Yes, mee-sus.”
“All right. We will need four large plates, four small plates and four napkins. You’ll find them here in the dish cupboard.” She pointed to the plates and then the napkins folded and piled in a big basket. “And we also need four glasses and four cups a
nd saucers. And four sets of flatware.” She picked them up and carried them to the tray. “Now let’s go set the table.”
“Yes, mee-sus.”
She led the way into the dining room, paused at the sight of Garret building the fire.
He rose. Their gazes met. “Good morning.”
Her heart stopped, then beat out an accelerated rhythm. “Good morning. I—I’m showing Liu Yang the correct way to set a table.”
He nodded, squatted and poked at the logs. “I won’t be long.”
“It’s no bother.” She drew a breath, gathered her scattered thoughts. “Always set these four tables in front of the fireplace first.” She selected the things she needed and began. “I’ll set this place, Liu Yang, and you set the others the same way. So...center the large plate with the design upright in front of each chair. Next, put the flatware in place—the knife goes on the right with the blade edge toward the plate, then the spoon outside the knife, and the fork goes on the left side of the plate...”
Garret rose and left the room. Tears stung her eyes. Obviously, teaching Liu Yang to serve the tables was necessary. She cleared her throat and continued. “The bread plate is placed above the fork. The glass goes above the tip of the knife...”
* * *
Virginia stood outside Garret’s office door, her heart breaking. Her prayer had been granted, and she had been busy all day, but that hadn’t made it any easier. Every time she saw Garret or stood working beside him at the desk, she could feel him drawing away from her. He didn’t want her. She knew it. Deep down inside she knew it. But she couldn’t leave until he told her he wanted her to go.
Lord, give me strength. Don’t let me cry. Please help me not to cry. Help me to accept the fact that Garret doesn’t care for me with dignity and grace. And don’t let him guess that I love him, Lord. Please, don’t let him guess that I love him.
She took a deep breath, squared her shoulders and knocked.
“Come in.”
Help me, Lord! She opened the door and stepped inside.
He rose and stood looking at her, his eyes dark and inscrutable, his face taut.
“I’ve come to talk with you about the future.” She lifted her hand, toyed with the button on her high collar. “I haven’t had a chance to apologize for my father threatening you. I am sorry, Garret. It’s his way.”
He nodded, scrubbed his hand across the back of his neck. “I’ve been threatened before, Virginia. And there is no way he can buy this hotel. It’s mine. There is no note outstanding for his lawyers to get their hands on. That’s not the problem.”
“Then what is?”
He jammed his hands in his pockets, blew out a gust of air. “I’m not certain if our in-name-only marriage will withstand a challenge by his lawyers in a court of law. And if it doesn’t, Ferndale will own the hotel. There’s no way for me to fight that. I signed the contract agreeing to those terms.”
“So Father will win.”
“In a manner of speaking, yes. He won’t have the hotel, but neither will I. And that’s what he wants—to punish me for...everything. I can’t stop him.”
“I can. This is all my doing. I ran away because of Father and Emory Gladen. You had nothing to do with it.”
“I made it possible.”
“Accidentally, yes.” She lowered her hand, smoothed the front of her skirt. “This is my problem and I will fix it.”
Something flashed deep in his eyes. He took a long breath. “And how do you propose to do that?”
“I’ll tell him if he wants me to go back to New York with him, he must give me his word that he will not challenge our marriage in court. That if he does, I will run away again. And this time I will tell no one where I am going.”
If she disappeared... “You would do that?” His stomach sickened at the thought, but it could answer his problem of the five years.
“Can you think of another way?”
He stared at her, a strange expression on his face. One she couldn’t understand.
Please let him ask me to stay and be his true wife, Lord. Please let him tell me he loves me. Please—
“Perhaps I will think of a way. Given some time.” The words sounded bitter.
“Perhaps.” She blinked, swallowed hard and forced a smile. “I’d better go and pack my things now. I’m sure Father can switch his tickets to tonight’s train. There is no sense in delaying our departure until tomorrow. Goodbye, Garret, I—I’m so pleased to have met you.” She whirled and hurried out into the hallway.
He yanked his hands from his pockets, snatched the Ferndale contract from his drawer, crushed it into a ball and threw it in the fire.
Chapter Fifteen
Virginia sat with her damp, crumpled handkerchief clasped in her hands and stared out the window. Light from the sliver of moon glinted on the deep, shovel-pocked snow beside the tracks. She looked up, watching the train’s light slice through the darkness and bounce off the exposed stone wall of the mountain as the engine entered a curve in the high pass.
The car swayed, the relentless rasp of the wheels against the metal rails vibrating through the floorboards beneath her feet. Cold air flowed off the window, chilled her face and neck. She shivered and pulled the collar of her red velvet coat higher. Footsteps approached her seat. She kept her gaze fixed on the window.
“Virginia, I purchased sleeper car privileges for our trip so we will be comfortable. Come to bed.”
“I’m not sleepy, Father.”
“Then lie down and rest.”
“I prefer to sit here.”
“Virginia, I insist—”
“Please don’t treat me as a child, Father.” She turned her head and met his astonished gaze. “I’m not the same person I was when I ran away. I have yielded to your wishes and am returning to New York with you because I love Garret, not because I am afraid of you. You can no longer bribe or threaten me with your money.” A bitter smile curved her lips. “I have learned I am quite capable of making my own way in this world. And if you do one thing to harm Garret, I will do just that. I will leave your home and you will never see me again.”
“You are threatening me?”
“It’s not a threat, Father. I am merely telling you what will happen if you try to destroy my husband. I need you to believe me, so you will tell your lawyers they are not to try to have my marriage to Garret set aside. I am his wife—” she raised her hand when he drew breath to speak “—yes, in name only, but still his wife. I intend to stay married to him.”
“Pure foolishness! I’ll not have you wasting your life in that—that excuse for a town!” Her father caught hold of the lapels on his silk paisley dressing gown and glared down at her. “Now you listen to me, daughter! I shall do exactly as I please, and—”
“And if you do—if you do one thing that causes Garret hurt—I will leave your home forever. It is your choice, Father.” She turned back to look out the window.
“I am not going to stand here and catch a chill because of your stubbornness, Virginia. We will continue this conversation in the morning.”
She listened to the slap of his slippers against the carpet runner in the aisle fade away, looked down at her reticule and smiled. It held the same coins she’d had when she had run off to escape Emory Gladen. Odd how confident having a few skills made one feel.
* * *
Garret shoveled coal into the bucket, straightened and glanced toward the train depot. Where was she now? Was she all right? Was her father still bullying her, or had he stopped now that he’d gotten his way? Though not completely.
He tossed the shovel onto the coal pile, grabbed the bucket and carried it up onto the porch. The image of Virginia standing by the lobby door with her valises at her feet and her chin raised in that way she had was indelibly etched in his mind. He would never forget the way she’d faced her father
, laid down her conditions for going back to New York with him, and refused to budge until the man agreed. It had been all he could do to stay in his office by the door, but she’d made him promise...
He shook his head, stomped his feet and went inside. He’d never expected her to take his part that way—to go back to New York to keep him from losing the hotel. Of course, there was always the chance that she really wanted to go, and was simply using their pretend marriage as a weapon to make her father stop trying to choose her beaux. And to maintain her hold over him—in case. Though he couldn’t figure what that “in case” might be.
The smells of coffee brewing and bread baking floated through the kitchen. His hands tensed on the bucket handle. He swept the room with a quick glance. Mrs. Fuller was stirring something in a bowl, Li Min was at the worktable chopping potatoes and Liu Yang was piling dishes on a tray. He wanted to take it from her. To tell her to stay out of the dining room, that it was Virginia’s place. But it wasn’t any longer. She would no longer charm their guests with her smile or—
“Meester want coffee?”
He took a breath, eased his white-knuckled grip on the bucket handle and shook his head. “Thank you, Liu Yang, but I’ll have some later—after I’ve taken care of the heaters in the dressing rooms. Do you need coal for your stove, Mrs. Fuller?”
The older woman bent and pulled loaves of baked bread from the oven. She set the pans at the edge of the stovetop, lifted one upside down and shook the bread out. “I’m fine until tomorrow.” She placed the golden-brown loaf on the cooling rack on the top of the cupboard beside the stove and reached for another pan.
He carried the bucket of coal to the water heater and studied Mrs. Fuller’s profile while he shook down the ashes. Her voice sounded different, as if she were forcing it out. There was a sadness in it that made his chest tighten. She missed Virginia, too. The difference was, Mrs. Fuller thought Virginia was only gone for a visit with her father, and that she was coming back. But why should she? There was nothing for her here but hard work and a pretend marriage to a coward too wary of the future to admit that he had...feelings for her.
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