“Worthless pills,” Kip whispered as he balled the package up and tossed it into the trash. There was no hope to cure his acne. He knew that now.
And the more he thought about it, he wasn’t sure he wanted to cure it.
It was who he was. It defined him.
The acne might be the only good thing he had going for him.
Before walking out of the bathroom, he ran a loving hand over his face, his chest. The scabrous and oily flesh tickled his palm, and then he cut the light off and went back to his room.
***
Chuck busted a good nut, rubbed it over Jade’s ass cheeks like lotion. Such a perfect ass. Nothing like seeing his own cum splash across it.
Jade, still bent over, clicked her tongue. “Get me a fucking towel. I hate when you do that shit.”
“Chill out. Let me catch my fucking breath.”
She rolled her eyes, swiped his shirt from the floorboard of his Mustang.
“Hold up, don’t—”
But she was already sliding the fabric over the creamy mess, wiping it off, then threw the shirt into Chuck’s face.
The wetness hit him right in the mouth, and he tossed the shirt away, spat, gagged. “What the fuck is your problem?”
“What’s wrong? You got your nut off, didn’t you?”
Chuck wanted to slam his fist into the back of her head, but she was right. Jade was easily the best piece of ass in school, and any time she was in the mood for some Chuck roast, he made sure to get his ass—and cock—there as quickly as he could. Before she changed her mind, which she was prone to do.
“I guess you’re right about that, baby.” He leaned over, kneaded her breasts, tweaked her dark nipples. It wasn’t until he tried to kiss her that she stopped him, crammed her open palm into the middle of his face and shoved him away.
“We’re done. Quit fucking touching me for a second, okay?” She pulled a joint out of her purse, lit it. “Can’t find my fucking coke. Probably left it in Zak’s car.”
Chuck slammed his fist into the back of the driver’s seat headrest. “I swear to God, if you bring up that motherfucker one more time, I’m kicking you the fuck outta this car.”
Jade only smiled, let the dense smoke roll from between her fat, pink lips. Sweat beads covered her face and chest like clear pimples, bringing that little fucker Toad to Chuck’s mind.
“What do you have against Zak? You just fucked his girl, didn’t you?” She took a long draw from the joint, then finally passed it to Chuck. “What is it with you fucking jocks, man? Always gotta pick on people. What, he’s the new guy, so you and your fucking lughead friends gotta give him shit?”
Chuck took a deep hit, blew the smoke right into her face. “I don’t wanna talk about that cocksucker. Didn’t I just tell you that? And what’s this about you being his girl?”
She only shrugged, still waving the smoke out of her face. “Like I said. We might’ve had a little fight, but that don’t mean anything.”
“That fuckhead’s been in town, what, a week? And you already claimed him, huh? Then why you here with my cum all over your ass?”
“Told you. We had a fight. I was horny. Is that a fucking problem?” She reached over and snatched the joint from his fingertips. “Where’s your little cheerleader, Chuck? Shouldn’t your dick be with her instead of me?”
Chuck’s dick was now limp, stuck to the side of his inner thigh with Jade’s fluids. He pulled his pants up, nearly pulled his shirt on before he remembered it was thick with his nut.
“I already told you. I’m done with that bitch. She’s fucking annoying, man. Nags constantly.” He scooted closer to Jade, grabbed the back of her neck. She tried to fight him off, but he wouldn’t let her, pulled her in and kissed her long and hard. The smoke she’d been holding in burst into his mouth, but he didn’t care. When he finally let her go, she slapped him, but had a small smile pulling at the corners of her mouth. “I love you. I don’t love her. Never did. It’s you I want.”
Jade shook her head, started pulling her clothes back on. When she started laughing, Chuck nearly clocked her on the side of the head, but held back, concentrated on the bulge of her tits against her white t-shirt, the way her nipples pressed up against it like thick pencil erasers.
“You’re joking, right?” she said.
“Whatta you mean?”
“Did you really just say that you love me? Because if you did, you better be fucking joking.”
But I do love you. I’ve always loved you.
“Because I just got done telling you that me and Zak, we’re a couple. I’m his girl. So keep your motherfucking love to yourself.”
Chuck had so much he wanted to say right then, but he bit his tongue. He knew when to push Jade and when to back off, and by the tone of her voice, he knew which to do then.
“Take me home, man.”
“No problem.” Chuck didn’t say another word to her all the way to her house. When they drove up, Jade had the door open before he had ever pulled all the way over.
“See you.” She eased the door shut and started walking toward the house.
“Wait,” Chuck said, trying to whisper as loud as he could. “You going to the party?”
Without turning to face him, she just said. “I’ll be there. With my man.”
And then she entered the house and was gone.
Chuck smiled, checked his face in the rearview mirror. His chin was bruised some, but not as bad as he thought it would.
Yeah, you’ll be with your man. And when I see that motherfucker, he’ll wish he never moved here.
And then once he took care of Zak, once he got that asshole out of the picture completely, Toad was history.
He pulled his cell phone out of his pocket, dialed Chelsea’s number.
It rang six times, and just when Chuck was going to give up…
“H-hello? Chuck?”
“Hey, baby. What you doing?”
“What time is it?”
“Does it matter? I wanna see you. Now.”
There was silence, and then a soft giggle. “You’re so bad. My parents are asleep. You can climb in through my window…just like last time.”
“Good. Be there in ten.”
—5—
Kip attempted to cook eggs that morning, but he burned them. He tossed the yellow and brown mess into the sink, spun the disposal.
“You wanna run by the Grease Shack on the way to school today?” Kip said to Zak who was just walking in after smoking his morning cigarette. “I’ll buy.”
“Yeah, sure.”
Kip had woken up in a good mood. He expected to wake up depressed, missing his mother, but that wasn’t it at all. He felt invigorated, full of energy.
He felt like a different person, a new man.
They ate breakfast tacos as they made their way to school, the cheesy eggs and sausage hitting the spot just right. Once they parked, Zak turned to face Kip.
“You know what tomorrow is, Kip?”
“Um…Tuesday?”
“No. Well yeah, but… It’s Senior Skip Day. Look, I know what you’re going to—”
“I’m in.” Kip knew Zak was going to bring it back up eventually, and he had already decided to go along with it. It was time for a change. Besides, Kip knew that even if any of his teachers decided to spring a pop quiz or something that day, Kip could always tell them he was sick. Not a single one of them would have suspected him of skipping class, even on Senior Skip Day.
“Are you serious?” Zak had his hands together like he was praying, and his face was full of teeth as he grinned.
“Yeah, screw it. It’s just one day, right? And besides…if Gwe…if my girl is there like you say she might be, then it would be worth it. I’ll talk to her, maybe ask her out or something.” Even making that statement felt awkward, and Kip knew that when it came down to it, if Gwendolyn was there, he probably wouldn’t go through with it. In fact, he knew he wouldn’t.
“That’s what I’m talking
about. Hell yes!” Zak looked ready to grab hold of Kip’s shoulder, but he stopped, pulled his hand back. “You won’t regret it, Kip. I promise. This is gonna be one hell of a party.”
“Can I ask you something though?”
“Okay.”
“What about Chuck? Don’t you think he’s gonna be there?”
Zak just smirked. “You leave that asshole to me. Don’t even worry about it.”
Kip just nodded. “What do you think about maybe going to that movie tonight? You know…since we didn’t go Friday night?”
“Whatever you want, cousin. Sounds good.”
The day went by fast, and with no incident. There was the usual name calling, some shoving, but nothing out of the ordinary for Kip. His heart nearly stopped and his skin nearly bubbled right off his back when he saw Chuck walking down the hall toward him, but as they passed each other, Chuck didn’t so much as glance his way.
Holy shit, is this really happening? Did Zak scare Chuck so bad that he won’t even look at me anymore?
When the day was over, he met Zak back at the car. They made a quick stop back home, just to change clothes. Zak let Kip borrow a shirt since the only ones Kip owned all had either superheroes or movie monsters printed on them, and even though they were going to see a horror flick, Zak wouldn’t let him wear one.
“You don’t know who we’ll see out there. What if your girl is there? Don’t you wanna look good for her?”
Kip went along with it, even though he felt stupid. But the night went great. They didn’t run into any girls, unless they counted the girl at the ticket counter who was overweight and looked like she had some kind of mental retardation.
Kip was glad though. He didn’t really want to run into Gwendolyn, or any girls from school. If that happened, Zak’s attention would be on them instead of him. But the two of them were the only ones in the theater except for one guy sitting way in the corner.
The movie was great, even better on the big screen. Zak said he loved it—Kip knew he would. Plenty of blood and gore and naked boobies. What’s not to love? They had shared a bucket of popcorn, drowning in liquid butter, and each had a box of Junior Mints.
Afterward, they stopped back at the Grease Shack for burgers and fries. Even though Kip wasn’t hungry, he ordered some food anyway, nibbled at it absently. Zak finished his off, wiped his greasy hands over his thighs, then pulled out his pack of cigarettes.
“Can I have one of those?” Kip said. He balled up the half burger that was left and tossed it into the trash.
“What…a cigarette?” Zak laughed, but handed him one. Lit it for him. “You know how to smoke one of those?”
Kip didn’t answer, just puffed on it, then started choking. He shook his head as he tried to catch his breath.
“Look,” Zak said, and inhaled gently, the cherry glowing bright orange. He let the smoke flow out of his nostrils. “Don’t suck on it so hard.”
The cigarette tasted awful, but Kip kept taking small puffs, didn’t choke again.
“Look at you, cousin. Really letting loose, huh? You were so upset when your mom left, I thought this week was gonna be a nightmare, you know?”
“I was upset. I don’t know…she’s the only friend I ever had. I’ve never been away from her for more than a day. But now that she’s gone, it’s like…I feel different.”
“Different how?”
“I don’t know. Just different. I want to try things. I’m sick of being…me. The Toad.” Kip stared at his reflection in the side mirror. “Remember that episode of Seinfeld when George decided to do everything opposite of what he would normally do? And then everything starts going really well for him?”
“Um…no. Don’t watch much TV these days.”
“Oh. Well, that’s what I want to do. Maybe things will get better if I do.”
“Well, don’t stop being you. Never stop being you, Kip. But that doesn’t mean you can’t have a little fun, right?”
“Yeah. I want to have some fun.”
They finished their cigarettes, catching glances from the other kids coming and going from the Grease Shack. All kids from school. Kip could tell that most of them didn’t know Kip and Zak were cousins, couldn’t figure out why a guy like Zak would be hanging out with someone like Toad.
That’s right. We’re family. We’re best friends.
Kip couldn’t wait for tomorrow. It would be a new day. Tomorrow, he wouldn’t be Toad. Things would be different from now on, he just knew it.
—6—
The first thing he noticed that morning was the size of the zit on his lip. It looked ready.
I can’t go to the party with that thing on my face.
Even though the tip had turned white, and it shone like a teary eye, it still wouldn’t give. Kip grunted in frustration as he squeezed, but the thing only became more irritated, made his lip puff up.
God, I look awful.
The pimples looked especially bad that morning. Had grown worse in the last 48 hours. Part of him wondered if he was having some kind of skin emergency, that maybe he should get Zak to drive him to the hospital or something. Some kind of side effect or allergic reaction to the pills. Every inch of his chest and back was covered in red fleshy bumps, most of them topped with a fat, glistening whitehead. It looked like if he so much as flexed, they would burst and spray pus and blood all over the place.
He pulled his boxer shorts down and stared at the massive bumps on his ass. He prodded them with his finger, sucked in a quick breath as tiny bursts of pleasure flashed across his skin.
The zits on his forehead, cheeks, chin, and nose all begged to be popped, but he left them alone. It was a battle he wouldn’t win, and even if he popped each one, it wouldn’t help his appearance. Trading white-tipped bumps for scabby open wounds.
Just don’t think about it. Do like Zak said. Be confident. If Gwendolyn is at the party, show her that you’re not scared.
“Yeah, right.”
Knock, knock, knock.
“You jerking your dick in there, cousin? Hurry up, I gotta massive load to drop!”
“Okay okay.” Kip gave himself another long look in the mirror before pulling a t-shirt over his head and slipping into his favorite jeans. When he opened the door, he was nearly trampled by Zak who didn’t even wait for him to leave before dropping his pants and popping a squat right there on the toilet.
“Sorry, Kip. Emergency.”
Kip shut the door as fast as he could so he wouldn’t have to endure anymore, and just as the door clicked, Zak’s voice rang out.
“And if you think you’re going to the party wearing that, you’re dead wrong. We’re going shopping today, cousin.”
Kip had been hoping Zak would let him borrow another shirt anyway. He wanted to look his best for Gwendolyn, though he still doubted she’d be there at all. He couldn’t imagine her taking part in Senior Skip Day, but then again a day ago, he would have said the same thing about himself.
Just thinking about her sent tremors through his body, made his skin so sensitive that every movement, every step he took was ecstasy. He wanted nothing more than to hide away somewhere and pop each and every zit on his body. Better than jacking off. But he forced the thoughts from his mind, focused on preparing himself mentally for tonight.
Once Zak was finished, they both agreed to pick up some breakfast on their way to the store. It felt weird not going to school on a Tuesday. Felt wrong. Kip couldn’t shake the panicky feeling swelling in his belly.
“You all right?” Zak asked through a mouthful of sausage biscuit.
“Huh? I’m…I’m fine.” Kip had ordered a coffee, thought it would help calm him, but it only made him more nervous, more jittery.
“Come on. What’s the matter?”
“This feels so…bad. I’ve never done anything like this before. And also…you know…”
“Nervous about tonight?”
Kip nodded, stuffed the rest of his hashbrown into his mouth.
�
�Don’t forget what I told you, Kip. Be confident, okay? The look you’ve got on your face right now, the way your hands won’t sit still, it looks nervous. Girls don’t like nervous.”
Kip lifted his hands in front of his face and glared at them as if it was the first time he’d ever seen them. “What do I do with my hands then?”
“I don’t know, shove them in your pockets. Let them just hang at your sides. Just stop fidgeting so much. Shit, you’re starting to make me nervous just watching you.”
Kip crossed his arms, sort of leaned to the side. “How about this?”
“Better. You look relaxed which is good. What are you going to say to her when you see her?”
Kip hadn’t put any thought into that at all. “Um, I don’t know. I can ask her how she thinks she did on our History test, or—”
“No. You won’t mention school at all. Ask her about herself. What kinds of things she likes to do, her favorite movie, band, food, whatever. Get her talking, man. Girls love talking. Don’t talk about yourself until she asks, got it?”
Kip almost doubled over as his flesh got to pulsating again, the thrashing becoming more and more violent as his anxiety filled him like the pus in his zits.
“Zak…I don’t think I can do this. It sounds too complicated, and I know I’ll mess up. I know I’ll make a fool out of myself. In front of anyone.”
Zak hit him. Cocked his fist back and slugged Kip right in the arm. There was no acne on the spot of impact, and an explosion of pain erupted there on his bicep, and his arm hung limp from his shoulder.
“Ow! What was that for!”
“What do you think? Every time you try and puss out on me, I’m gonna hit you again. Same spot every time.”
Throb…throb…throb.
Zak tilted his head, squinted as he stared at Kip’s face.
Kip quickly turned away from him. “What?”
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