What did it all mean? That Aaron was more important to her than the other members of the team?
Because if that was the case, she was in big trouble.
He was her workmate and she couldn’t afford to care about him in any other terms. She’d tried hard not to. She didn’t want to. She’d tried to tell herself she’d feel the same way about any of her colleagues, but it wasn’t true, was it? This was something more.
What if she’d been called upon to go in after Aaron? How would she have handled the stress, the emotion? Her ability to think clearly, to make the right decisions would have been compromised. She could have put them all at risk. She couldn’t bear to think what the consequences of that might have been.
She couldn’t bear to think how she would have coped if he hadn’t walked out of that door under his own steam, either.
“You should have exited the building when Steve got hurt,” she said, her tone sharp. “You shouldn’t have carried on alone.”
Still leaning against the truck, he rolled his head to face her. “Are you telling me you would have come out? Because I don’t believe that for one second. Not knowing there was a child inside.”
She dragged in a shuddery breath. Aware of his eyes on her she said, “We can’t save everybody.”
“No, but we still try. You wouldn’t have done anything different in there.”
She squeezed her stinging eyes shut, afraid that the sensation might means tears weren’t far away. She would never, never cry on the job.
“Are you okay?”
She heard the concern in his voice. He was the one who’d been alone in a collapsing building, and he was concerned for her.
“I’m fine.” She snapped her eyes open and took a deep breath. “Why wouldn’t I be?”
She didn’t have time for this; the fire still had to be fought. Nor did she want any of her team to see her out-of-proportion reaction to the tension. It was bad enough that Aaron had witnessed a moment of weakness. She would have to work out what had happened here today, but in her own time. No way did she want anyone else to spot that she wasn’t fully in control of her emotions.
“Rightee-o. Beer o’clock.” Dave rubbed his hands together as they left the station after shift handover. “Who’s coming to the pub? I reckon we deserve it today.”
“You buying?” Kane asked. “And can I call Sasha to come and join us?”
Jasmine raised her eyebrows at Kane sounding so keen to see Sasha again. She hadn’t heard from Sasha for a week. With a bit of luck she’d be able to have a chat tonight and find out what had been happening between the two of them.
She nodded to Dave to say she’d be joining them. She was in no hurry to go home to her empty house and the self-analysis that awaited her. She didn’t want to think about Aaron’s close call, but the images were sitting at the edge of her mind and she knew that if she went home now, she would relive it over and over. He looked perfectly well, joking with Steve, slapping Dave on the back, while her stomach still felt like it was full of butterflies, and it would be hours before her muscles relaxed.
Half an hour later, Aaron had gone to the bar to buy a round of drinks, and Sasha had offered to help him carry them. Jasmine, left at the table with Kane, was chatting to him about the coming football season, when Sasha left the bar and did a fast-walk toward her, all but breaking into a run. As she drew close, she signaled with her eyes that Jasmine should look toward the bar. She did, expecting to see a B-list celebrity or someone equally unexciting, but all she saw was Aaron.
Oh, and a woman draped all over him.
Maybe that was an exaggeration, but they did look very pleased to see each other.
Sasha slid into the empty chair next to Kane and prodded his shoulder. “Go and help Aaron with the drinks.”
“I thought you were doing that.” Kane stood as he spoke. “I would have gone in the first place.” He shook his head as he walked off, mumbling about women who changed their minds.
Sasha pulled a disgusted face. “She just came up and wrapped herself around him.”
Jasmine grimaced, then shrugged, acting unconcerned, with the emphasis on acting.
“This is Aaron in his natural habitat.”
She’d never been disturbed by the thought of Aaron with someone else before, and she didn’t see why she should start now. But she’d never had to sit in close proximity while he cavorted with another woman, either. It wasn’t the most fun she’d ever had.
Then again, seeing him in action provided her with a concrete reminder why she should stay right away from him.
Sasha looked over her shoulder. “She’s pawing him the way my cat does when she wants my attention. Wonder who has the sharper claws?” She frowned as she turned back to Jasmine. “So that’s his type, is it? You know when a cartoon character gets run over by a steamroller, then peels itself up off the road and keeps going? That’s how thin she is.”
Jasmine laughed. “He says he doesn’t have a type, but they’re all the same in one respect; they don’t care that he only wants one thing.”
“Well…” Sasha lifted a shoulder. “There are worse ways to pass the time. Oh, don’t worry,” she said when she saw Jasmine’s expression. “I’m not going to join the queue for some of what he’s offering.”
“Good.” Jasmine glanced across at the woman with Aaron. She probably spent more time getting ready in one day than Jasmine did in a whole week. Make that a whole month. But then, most women probably did. “No wonder he couldn’t find a paintball partner anywhere on his list.”
Looking like she’d stumbled into the wrong conversation, Sasha held up her hands. “You’ve lost me. A what?”
Jasmine told her briefly about the bargain they’d made.
“Oh. What are you going to wear? Do you need to borrow some shoes?”
Jasmine stared. “Sasha, it’s paintball. I’ll be wearing full-body overalls and a full face mask. And my oldest, smelliest sneakers.”
“Darn. Not a very good choice of activity for a date.”
“Because it’s not a date. I just told you, we made a deal. He asked me because I’m the only nongirlie female he knows.” She nodded toward the woman at the bar. “As you can see.”
“Hmm. Did it occur to you he might have asked you because he really wanted to ask you on a date and didn’t think you’d go?”
“No. Trust me, he didn’t. Anyway, we’ve just established that I am so not his type.”
At the sound of high-pitched, look-at-me laughter behind her, Sasha tensed. “They’re coming over, aren’t they?”
“Yup.”
“Okay. Pretend you’re not bothered.”
“I’m not bothered.” It wasn’t like the scene at the fire; her feelings about this, she could hide.
Aaron set down a glass in front of Jasmine. “You don’t mind if Cindy joins us, do you, ladies?”
While he’d addressed both of them, Jasmine found that his eyes were on her. She shook her head in what she hoped was a couldn’t-care-less way.
Cindy settled on the chair that Aaron pulled up to the table for her.
“So, Aaron,” Sasha said as he settled at the table alongside Cindy, “Jasmine was just telling me about this paintball thing you two are going to do. Sounds like fun.”
Jasmine frowned at Sasha, who she knew would definitely not consider it fun. So what was she up to?
Cindy’s eyebrows rose at Sasha’s words. No Botox then, Jasmine thought, then gave herself a mental slap. There was no need to test out her own claws.
“It should be, and hopefully, the kids will enjoy it. It’s a charity thing,” he said with a dismissive shrug.
Cindy squeezed his forearm and smiled at him. “Very admirable.”
Jasmine cleared her throat. “I’m looking forward to it,” she said. “Especially the winning part.”
Aaron shook his head. “Sorry to disappoint you, but that’s not going to happen.”
“We should all go on to that new nightclub o
n Hindley Street,” Cindy said as if there weren’t a conversation going on. “What do you all think?”
“Sure,” Aaron said. “I’m up for it, if everyone else is. What do you reckon, guys?”
Jasmine sipped her drink. She had no idea about any new nightclub and even less desire to find out.
“Not me,” Sasha said. “I’ve got a very early start in the morning.”
Kane looked disappointed. He said, “Count us out, then.”
“That’s a shame,” Cindy said. “What about you?”
Jasmine looked up. “Me? No, thank you. I don’t go to nightclubs.”
“Really? What do you do for fun, then?”
“Jasmine gets her fun from renovating her house,” Aaron said.
“Well, that’s not all I do.” Why did it matter that she sounded dead boring? “I have to go now, anyway.” She drained the last of the beer from her glass and pushed it away. “You two have a great time.”
“Oh, we will,” Cindy said, smiling at Aaron.
“Are you sure you have to go?” Aaron said as Jasmine got to her feet.
She nodded. Aware of Sasha’s concerned expression, she gave her a tight smile to indicate that she was fine.
“We’re leaving too.” Sasha stood, and Kane, after looking up at her in surprise, gulped his beer.
“Are you sure you’re all right?” Sasha said when they’d made it outside.
“Of course I am. Why wouldn’t I be?”
“Yeah, why wouldn’t she be?” Kane caught up with them. “Am I missing something?”
“Not a thing,” Jasmine said firmly.
“Aaron’s in for a good night.” Kane’s eyebrows waggled, and then he rubbed his arm where Sasha had thumped him. “What was that for?”
“For being a moron,” Sasha said. “I can’t believe he sat there flirting with her in front of…everybody.”
“To be fair,” Kane said, “it was Cindy doing all the flirting. Aaron doesn’t have to do anything; he attracts women like a dung heap attracts flies.”
“An apt comparison.” Jasmine laughed. “You two have a good night. I’m off.”
As if she didn’t feel bad enough about her reaction at the fire scene today, thanks to Kane she now felt even more ridiculous. And she’d better hold on to that feeling because it was better to recognize the stupidity and pull back from it than to let herself fall for Aaron and lose everything she valued.
Chapter Six
A week later, yawning, Aaron opened his locker door just as Jasmine entered the room. She had that fresh, bright-eyed thing going on, same as every morning. His day only seemed to start once he saw her, and she always looked as if she’d just stepped out of the shower—her flawless skin free of makeup, her glossy hair swinging in a ponytail.
“Somebody had a late one, did they?”
He nodded, yawning again.
She leaned back against the bank of lockers, arms folded. “I’ve just taken a phone message for you.”
He gave her a questioning look. “Are you going to pass it on, or do I have to guess?”
“Cindy said you needn’t bother picking up your car later, because she’s going to drive it back today and leave it in the basement car park at your apartment building.”
He winced. Cindy driving his car one way was bad enough.
Jasmine raised an eyebrow.
“What?”
“It must be serious if you’re letting her drive your car.”
“It’s not serious. It’s nothing.” He’d only lent his car to Cindy because she’d turned up wearing a coat and nothing else, to “surprise” him. He’d finally made her understand that he wasn’t interested, and then what could he do? He couldn’t send her home on the bus, not even in a taxi. Not in that state. He hadn’t had a choice.
“Cindy also said that you left your phone in the car. That’s why she called the station.”
He sighed with relief. So that’s where it was. He’d thought it gone for good.
He became aware of Jasmine giving him one of her looks and braced an arm against his locker as he said wearily, “What now?”
“I hope you’re not going to make any mistakes out there today.” She grimaced. “It’s irresponsible of you to come to work after…not sleeping.”
“Is that what you think of me? That I’d put people’s lives at risk for the sake of my own pleasure?” He shut his locker door harder than he’d meant to. Not quite a slam, but near enough.
She shrugged.
“I’ve never given you any reason to believe that.”
“What about yesterday?”
“What about yesterday? Don’t imply that I took risks because I was tired.” He couldn’t believe she’d think that. It was a calculated risk he’d taken, only because there was a child’s life at stake, and he refused to believe that she’d have done anything differently. He knew her, and it bugged him that she didn’t know him just as well. When he’d left the burning house, the first person he’d looked for was her. She was the first person he’d wanted to see, and the first person he’d wanted to know that he was alive.
He cared about the rest of the crew—of course he did; they were a tight-knit team—but it hurt that Jasmine specifically thought so little of him.
He drew in a long breath. “I have never, and I would never, put my colleagues in danger.”
She was silent, her lips pressed together.
“I had a late night, but I’ve had enough sleep, and besides, there have been shifts when we’ve been dead on our feet from dealing with one call-out, then we’ve gone out on another and we’ve handled it. You know my performance won’t be affected, so back off. What I do outside work and the way I do my job are two separate issues, and what I do outside work is none of your business.”
He saw her flinch. Her expression told him his words had hit home. Oh, hell. Now he wanted to take them back.
“I don’t care what you do, or who you do it with.”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to say that it was none of your business.”
“Of course you did, and you’re right. It’s not.”
But he wanted her to care what he did outside work. He couldn’t explain why, or what the heck was going on here; he just knew that Jasmine’s opinion mattered more than it should. He’d always shared tales of his out-of-hours exploits with her, despite knowing that she thought him irresponsible and a womanizer. He’d exaggerated that side of his private life, amused by her disdain, but also, in all honesty, intrigued by the fact that she seemed impervious to whatever he had that worked on other women.
He was going to cause himself a major problem if he continued like this. Better to quit trying to make her see him as anything other than a coworker. Much safer. Because even if she did decide he had something she might be interested in, there was no way he could risk turning the rest of the team against him for the sake of a short-term relationship, no matter how tempting.
Jasmine turned to leave the locker room. “Oh, by the way, we’re rostered to cook dinner together today. We’ll have to go shopping later. I thought we could buy ready-made lasagna and just make a salad to go with it.”
Shrugging, he said, “Sounds good to me.”
…
Later, after a tedious day, during which they’d done nothing more exciting than carry out an office-block fire-safety inspection, one of those dull but necessary tasks they were required to do, she and Aaron drove to the nearby seven-day supermarket to pick up what they needed to make dinner for the whole crew.
Aaron snagged a shopping trolley from a pretty young assistant who smiled at him like he was her fantasy come true—which he probably was. Jasmine cleared her throat to get his attention.
He turned to her, the flirty smile still in place. After a second, he straightened his face and said, “So, what do we need?”
“Salad stuff.” She picked up two heads of lettuce and placed them in the bottom of his trolley. “You can choose some tomatoes. Ripe ones,” she said
. That should keep him occupied for a while.
She walked around the end of the display counter and stopped. A young couple was huddled together, his arm around the heavily pregnant girl, while she sorted through the bunches of celery to find the one she wanted.
Jasmine stared at the picture of togetherness they presented. The girl kept glancing at the man at her side and couldn’t keep the smile from her face.
Tendrils of envy snaked up from deep inside Jasmine and wound around her heart, squeezing until she thought she couldn’t stand the pain. The girl was about the same age as her…she could be this girl, shining with contentment, except that she couldn’t, could she? Because she wouldn’t take the risk of letting a man get that close.
And because of her fear, she would never know how it felt to be part of such a committed couple, to enjoy just being together, even if it was only shopping for celery, to look forward to becoming a family…
“Are you okay?”
She startled at the sound of Aaron’s voice. No. She wasn’t okay, but there was no way she was going to tell him what was wrong. “I got lost in thought.”
“Unfamiliar territory, was it?”
She gave him a contemptuous look, but really, he had no idea how right he was. And of all the people to catch her having such a bizarre moment, it had to be him.
His eyebrows twitched. “I’d be interested to know what it was that put such a dreamy look on your face.”
“Dreamy?” She made a scoffing sound. “Don’t you recognize concentration when you see it? Why don’t you go and find some bread and leave me to do the vegetables?”
Between them they gathered all that they needed for the meal, and along the way Aaron acquired an admirer. The woman was so busy ogling him she pushed her trolley straight into a freestanding display of baked beans. Of course that gave Aaron the perfect excuse to talk to her while they both scrabbled around on the floor picking up cans. Jasmine was pretty sure he was trying to pick up more than the cans.
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