Wanting Shaw

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Wanting Shaw Page 9

by Terri Anne Browning


  As we entered the living room where everyone was gathered with nonalcoholic drinks in hand, my eyes searched the room for the only person I wanted to see. Between my family and all my honorary aunts, uncles, and cousins, there were over thirty people in the living room. Extra seats had been brought in just for the holiday, but most people were standing in smaller groups around the room having conversations.

  Everyone paused to greet Luca, whose eyes were traveling around the room in hopes of finding Violet.

  But like Shaw, Vi seemed to be missing as well, and I figured they were in the kitchen since it was getting close to time for the huge Thanksgiving feast. The house smelled like sage with a hint of sweetness that made my stomach growl, reminding me I hadn’t had more than a bowl of cereal that morning for breakfast. I’d skipped lunch so I could make room for all the turkey I planned on eating that evening, so my hunger was practically gnawing at me.

  It was only a few minutes after we’d arrived that Lyric appeared with Violet. I took one look at her as her pretty purple eyes locked on to Luca and knew something was very, very wrong.

  Every time I’d seen her or even just called her in the last two months, I’d gotten strange vibes from her. There had been a lack of emotion in her voice, a muted, almost vacant look in her eyes. I’d put it down to what happened with Cannon, mixed in with missing her boyfriend.

  Yet when she looked up at him, her heart wasn’t in her eyes like it usually would be when she was simply in the same room with Luca. If anything, she looked like she was about to pass out, and when she took a step forward, she began to sway. Luca rushed forward, blocking my line of sight to her face. Lyric was closer and steadied her.

  Her mom suggested the couple have a private moment on the beach before dinner, and they didn’t waste time moving toward the door. As it shut behind them, Shaw entered the room with Aunt Lana.

  My girl’s eyes went straight to me, and I couldn’t lock my feet in place. I needed to be closer to her so I could feel her warmth, smell her perfume, touch her soft skin. Lyric said something to her I didn’t hear over the others going back to their conversations from earlier, but Shaw’s face tightened, and she crossed to the doors through which her best friend had just exited.

  I stopped beside her, my eyes eating up the sight of her, while her gaze followed the two out on the beach. Fuck, but she was beautiful. Just looking at her made my chest tighten.

  My shoulder brushed against hers, and she leaned into the contact, as if she needed my touch almost as much as I needed hers. We stood like that for several minutes, her looking out at the beach and me looking at her, until she broke the silence between us. “Remember when we were little and the only thing we had to worry about was how much dessert we could have after Thanksgiving dinner?”

  “I was always more concerned if there would be enough turkey so I could make a sandwich the next day,” I told her with an upward tilt of my lips.

  She turned her head and smiled sadly. “I wish we could go back to those times when that was our only problem, Jags.”

  The nostalgia in her voice, the pain that was shadowing her eyes, had me reaching for her. “Baby…”

  “Why is Violet yelling at Luca?” Uncle Shane asked, making me drop my hands as I glanced at him over my shoulder.

  I hadn’t heard him come up behind us, but his blue-gray gaze was on his daughter as he looked out the glass door. My attention went to Violet, who, from the looks of it, really was yelling at Luca. Even from a distance, I could see that her face was red and scrunched up.

  Luca fell to his knees before her, the waves crashing against him, soaking his pants and shoes. They were both crying, Violet still shouting, when he reached out for her. But she stepped back, forcing him to drop his arms or fall on his face in the surf.

  Behind me, I heard someone start to cry and quickly glanced around to see who those gut-wrenching sounds were coming from. When I saw it was Aunt Layla, a few things clicked into place, and I turned to look at Shaw. “They broke up, didn’t they?” She nodded, her eyes full of tears. “This entire time?” Another nod. “But why?”

  Around us, everyone was going crazy. Uncle Shane was shouting. Aunt Layla continued to cry. Uncle Jesse and Ma were trying to get everything under control, but it was turning into chaos.

  “He cheated on her,” she whispered as a single tear fell from her beautiful blue eyes.

  “Cheated?” I repeated, unable to understand that word since she was using it in connection with Violet and Luca. “No, he wouldn’t—”

  “He did,” she confirmed, another tear spilling over her lashes. “But she didn’t want her parents to know yet, so she’s been waiting until he came home to tell everyone. I guess she was still trying to protect him or something. So Uncle Shane wouldn’t kill him.”

  Lyric pushed past us and opened the door, calling out to his brother. Shaw and I watched him run toward the couple arguing on the beach. Violet was hitting Luca now as she screamed at him. Nothing I was seeing or even hearing from Shaw made sense. Violet was the sweetest, most kindhearted person I knew. She would never physically harm anyone. Yet she was pounding her fists down on Luca like she wanted to destroy him.

  I heard Ma pleading with Uncle Shane to just listen and Dad telling her to back up so she would be safe. But Uncle Shane would die before he hurt my mom. Before he hurt anyone in our family.

  Unless it was Luca.

  Luca, he would kill.

  The younger kids were crying because they didn’t understand what all the shouting was about. Our family rarely did this shit, but when they did, they usually made sure the babies were as far away from it as possible.

  Part of me wanted to take in the room behind me, make sure Ma really was safe. That Mia and Emerson were out of harm’s way in case fists started flying. But I knew Barrick wouldn’t let anything happen to either of them.

  A bigger part of me wanted to go out there and beat the fuck out of Luca for Violet.

  Chapter 13

  Shaw

  My eyes were riveted to where Luca and Lyric were just surfacing in the ocean as Violet ran toward the house. My heart hurt even more for her than it had that morning, and the sight of my best friend’s tears made my knees weak as she pushed open the door.

  A sob left her, and she stumbled blindly past Jagger and me. Mom and Aunt Harper reached out to steady her, but she pushed them away and fled the room.

  I couldn’t imagine the pain she was in. Not only had Luca cheated, but he was going to be a father? That must have been agony to hear from the man she’d thought she was going to spend the rest of her life with.

  “Go after her, Dimples,” Jagger urged. “I’ll try to help contain the fighting down here.”

  I wanted to fall into his arms and sob, but I only rushed after my friend. For weeks, I’d done everything I possibly could to avoid seeing Jagger, but today, all I’d wanted was to let him hold me as I’d watched the drama unfold outside the house with Vi and Luca.

  I got to Violet’s room just as she started to shut the door, both our moms right behind me, and the three of us pushed our way in so she couldn’t lock us out. If she locked that door, I didn’t doubt she would stay in that damn room until someone knocked the fucking thing down.

  As soon as we were inside with her, Aunt Harper pulled her daughter into her arms and started rocking her. Violet struggled against her. “I just want to be alone,” she sobbed into her mom’s chest. “Please. I can’t do this right now.”

  “Honey, you don’t have to hurt alone. Please, just let me h-hold you,” Aunt Harper begged, her voice cracking.

  Mom and I moved so we were each hugging our best friends from behind, trying to give them our strength. Violet was sobbing so hard, she was causing us all to tremble.

  But then, as if she had a reserve of strength she’d had to dig deep to produce, she just stopped. The sobbing. The crying. She turned it all off right in front of us. She jerked away from our hug and scrubbed her hands over her face
. Before me stood the strong, resilient Violet Stevenson I knew and loved, but who drove me crazy because she just needed to cry it all out and let me hold her while she did.

  Behind me, I thought I heard the doorknob rattle, and I turned with a frown. Mom must have locked it when she’d closed it behind us. The rattle was quickly followed by a slam that seemed to shake the entire room, and then the door splintered as it collapsed inward, hanging off one hinge.

  I screamed along with Mom and Aunt Harper as Luca appeared beside the now-broken door. “For fuck’s sake!” Mom shouted, and Aunt Harper and I rushed to put ourselves between Vi and the maniac who had just broken a thick-ass door to get to her.

  “Luca, you need to go,” Mom urged him, putting herself between him and Violet as well. “You’re only going to cause yourself more problems.”

  I wasn’t even sure he heard her as he tried to get to Violet. “Vi. Baby, please.”

  “Are you insane?” Vi demanded just as the sound of stomping feet rushing toward the bedroom reached my ears.

  “Harper!” Uncle Shane demanded as the doorway filled with people.

  “It’s okay,” Aunt Harper assured him, putting her hand up to hold her husband and the others back in case Luca suddenly felt threatened and did something stupid. But his focus was completely on Violet even when his father demanded to know what he was doing. The boom in Uncle Jesse’s voice didn’t even cause him to flinch.

  “Violet, please,” Luca begged.

  While she focused on him, my gaze caught Jagger standing at the back of the group in the hall. His pale-blue eyes looked wild, and when our gazes locked, I could tell he wanted to pull me out of the line of fire. But there was no way in hell I was leaving Violet.

  When she tried to approach Luca, I attempted to stop her. “He’s lost his mind. Don’t get too close to him. He might hurt you.”

  “Oh, please.” She rolled her eyes and pushed away my hold on her. “He’d never physically hurt me.”

  She was right. Luca never would have lifted a hand to her, no matter if he’d lost his mind or not. But he’d done more than enough emotional damage. He’d broken Violet so easily. All because he was an immature little boy living in a man’s body.

  But the thing about Violet—she was the strongest person I’d ever met. And with that strength came a temper that while difficult to make boil over, once it did, she could eviscerate anyone with her words.

  Which was exactly what she did to Luca.

  She wasn’t sweet, kind, little Vi, but a seething beast in a beautiful little package.

  “I want you to know that today is the last day I ever allow you to hold on to even a small part of my heart,” she told him in a voice so cold I felt goose bumps pop up along my entire body, and I shivered. “Tomorrow, I won’t even allow myself to think about how much I once loved you. I won’t let myself remember how good it felt to just sit beside you and savor the love I thought you felt for me. I refuse to think ever again about the life we could have had. The life we should have had but you were too much of a juvenile little boy to deserve.”

  The pain and utter devastation on Luca’s face was hard to witness, but nothing less than he deserved for what he’d put Violet through. What he would continue to put her through now that he’d gotten that skank Megan Hawthorn pregnant.

  “Tomorrow,” she continued in that same chilling tone. “I hope you wake up and you remember it all. Every day for the rest of your life, I hope you remember the way it felt to have me touch you, kiss you, tell you I love you. I hope it haunts you until you’re clawing at the last thread of your sanity.” She lifted her hand and ghosted the backs of her fingers over his jaw, making him tremble from the loss of contact and, with it, his entire world. “I hope you die a little more inside each and every time, until there’s nothing left.”

  Luca stood there, tears spilling down his face until Lyric pushed through the crowd out in the hall. He was soaking wet, just like his twin, from their scuffle in the ocean earlier, but he dropped his arm around Luca’s shoulders and pulled him in for a tight hug. “Let’s go, bro,” he urged and guided him out of the room.

  Violet was starting to crack; I could see it even as she softly begged everyone to leave her alone. Her dad took pity on her and herded everyone downstairs, but there was no way in hell I was leaving her.

  Jagger caught my gaze again, wordlessly asking if I was going to be okay, and I gave a simple nod before he followed the others. My bestie needed me, and I wasn’t about to let her down.

  When we were alone, Violet gave me a look that told me to leave her alone too, but she was out of luck. “Not happening,” I told her as I crossed my arms determinedly over my chest. “You just found out your ex might be a daddy, Violet. I’m not leaving you.”

  “You know?” she murmured, the pain thick in her voice.

  “Everyone knows.” I broke the news to her. “Your dad was watching you and Luca from the door, and when it became apparent you weren’t happy, he asked what was going on. Aunt Layla started crying, and it all came out. Uncle Shane exploded, and things got crazy. If Barrick and Harris hadn’t been here, I’m pretty sure he would have started throwing punches.”

  It had been pure chaos, but all I’d been able to do was stand at the door, watching and feeling helpless as Violet’s life came crashing down on the beach, unable to stop it or to heal my best friend’s broken heart. All while the guy who owned mine stood beside me.

  But it only reinforced the need never to be vulnerable like Violet was with Luca.

  “O-oh,” Violet whispered.

  Knowing she needed a moment to herself, I crossed to the door. It was hanging at a precarious angle, and I was seriously impressed with how easily Luca had broken it down. I tried to fix it so Violet could have a little more privacy, but it was too heavy for me. “How the hell did he break this thing down? I know he’s strong, but damn,” I muttered to myself.

  “Sh-Shaw.” I turned to find Violet with her arms wrapped around herself, as if she were trying—and failing—to hold herself together. Her breathing started to become labored. “I… I really need you…to go.”

  Scared at the way she was panting, I rushed to her side. “Vi? Hey, hey! It’s okay. Take a few deep breaths.”

  “Go,” she gasped out. “Please.”

  “No. I’m not leaving you. Especially when you’re like this. You’re… I don’t know. This is a panic attack, I think.” I wrapped my arms around her, desperate to help her through this. It was scary as hell with her face turning red and then purple. Her eyes were wide and wild as she frantically looked for a way out.

  But my hug only seemed to make her worse rather than help, and she pushed away from me before running into the bathroom and locking the door.

  I could hear small whimpers coming from inside as I moved closer and leaned my forehead against the door. But it wasn’t the meltdown she really needed to have. “Vi, please let me in,” I pleaded softly. “I know you’re hurting, but you don’t have to face this alone. You don’t have to be the strong one this time.”

  I stood there for several long minutes, begging her to open the door. She needed someone to hold her, to help her by taking on the burden of the pain that was no doubt consuming her.

  She was too concerned about protecting everyone else to let me, though. Violet couldn’t stand the thought of her pain making someone else hurt, no matter if she was dying inside or not.

  Muttering a curse, I left the bathroom door and stomped over to the window. I pushed it open and then stuck my head out. Her bathroom window was only a few feet to my right, and the roof wasn’t all that steep on this part of the house. But it was raining, and the wind was starting to blow a little harder.

  “Fuck it,” I grumbled as I climbed out onto the roof. My heart moved up into my throat when my foot immediately slipped, causing a shingle to lift up and then fall off the side of the house. Swallowing my scream, I grabbed on to the window so I could right myself and took a deep breath. “Da
mn stubborn girl.”

  With a grunt, I released the bedroom window and carefully walked the few feet to the bathroom window. It was a considerably smaller window, but plenty big enough for me to crawl through.

  If it wasn’t locked.

  When I tried it, I was so glad it was indeed unlocked that I did a happy dance and nearly fell again. Two more shingles came loose but thankfully didn’t fall off. I hoped Vi wasn’t planning on making a habit of this, because I was seriously developing a fear of heights from this shit.

  By the time I was inside, I was out of breath and freezing. But then I saw Violet. She must have thought I’d left because she was sobbing uncontrollably at that point. Rushing to her, I knelt and touched her arm.

  Her head jerked up, and she looked at me in bewilderment, as if she couldn’t understand how I was there.

  Still breathing heavily, I pushed the hair back from my face and sat down beside her on the floor. “Your dad needs to replace a few shingles now,” I told her with a grunt as I leaned my back against the bathroom door.

  “You’re crazy,” she mumbled, but her tears were still falling in rivers down her pale cheeks.

  “Yeah, yeah,” I scoffed, wrapping my arms around her and pulling her head onto my lap. “Now, you pain in the ass, you go ahead and cry all you want. I’m not going to judge you or tell you it’s going to be okay. Maybe it will be one day. Maybe it won’t. And that’s okay. Because I’m not going to leave you. I’ll be right here beside you for however long you need me.”

  When she opened her mouth to argue, I’d had enough and pressed my palm over her lips. “Just shut up, Vi. You don’t have to be the strong one all the time. The rest of us won’t break if you cry in front of us. It’s fucking okay not to be okay!”

  As if she was beginning to realize what I said was true, she rolled so her face was pressed into my stomach and finally just let go.

  We stayed like that for hours. With Violet crying out all the pain she’d let build up for months, and me simply letting her. I didn’t tell her it was going to be okay, because I didn’t know if it ever would be again. I just let her know I was there for her and combed my fingers through her hair the way my mom always did when I needed comforting.

 

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