More than once, he'd been tempted to reach out and touch her soft, brown hair. Tease it through his fingers. Just like he'd been used to doing all those years ago. But, he knew that, if he'd done such a thing, he might well have scared Grace off. Made her hightail it away from Ranch Munro, never to return. And he didn't want that.
He thought about all he'd told her. That had been just about the hardest conversation he'd ever had. And, what made it even more difficult, was the fact that it still wasn't the whole story. There were parts of his life he couldn't share with anyone. Not now, at least. Maybe there would come a time when he'd be able to share with someone the real reason he'd left Wyoming. The true motive behind taking Ryan away from the place where so much darkness had entered the little boy's life.
Josh sighed. That was for another day, he told himself. Josh entered the ranch house and went into the kitchen. Miriam, plump and bright-eyed, and dressed in a plain grey gown, turned to him and wiped her hands on her white apron. "That Grace sure still looks pretty," she observed with a glint in her eye and a broad smile of her rosy cheeks. "I always did like that girl." Miriam had been around when Josh had been courting Grace. Seemed like the housekeeper hadn't forgotten.
"You're right, Miriam," Josh agreed. "In fact, I think she looks even prettier."
"That she does," Miriam replied.
Josh tilted his head. "Say. Were you spying on us?" he asked good-naturedly.
Miriam's brows shot up in a line. "You know how much I like to look after you and Wyatt. Your pa always liked me to keep an eye out for you both," she said. She squinted at him. "Make sure neither of you get into trouble."
"You think I'm going to get into trouble with Grace Buchanan?" Jake asked, trying hard to make it sound like it was something about which he had no interest.
Miriam wasn't fooled in the slightest. "I remember what it was like between you two," she said. And then as if to gently scold Josh she added: "Before you up and ran off like that."
"I didn't run off, Miriam," Josh replied abruptly. He wasn't shocked by Miriam's words. He was used to her forthright and direct manner of speaking.
Miriam leaned on the kitchen table and eyed Josh in a way he instantly recognized. Miriam had been with the Munro family for years. Wisdom dispensed around the kitchen table had been a regular feature of his life for as long as he could remember. "You been gone a long time, Josh." Her voice dropped to a quiet murmur, filled with emotion. "Your pa missed you something bad. You know that, don't you."
Josh sighed heavily and nodded. He felt a familiar knot of pain twisting in his gut at the thought of the fact that he hadn't been around when his pa had passed away. Regret had pulled at him since the day he'd received the news in Wyatt's letter. "I know that, Miriam," he told her. "There hasn't been a single day since I found out that I haven't wished I'd come back sooner."
Miriam came to Josh and rested a hand on his shoulder. "You're back, now," she said. "That's all that matters. And you've brought that fine little boy with you." She smiled at Josh. "There's new life in the old ranch," she added with a smile.
Josh nodded. His eyes met those of Miriam. A moment of silent understanding passed between Josh and the kindly housekeeper who'd done so much to make the ranch a happy place for growing up.
"Speaking of Ryan, where is he?" Josh asked looking around the kitchen.
Miriam frowned. "The last I saw, he was with Wyatt in the sitting room."
"I need to find him," Josh announced and left the kitchen. In the sitting room, he found Wyatt seated by the fire. But there was no sign of Ryan. Josh frowned as Wyatt lifted his gaze and looked inquiringly at him.
"Where's Ryan?" Josh asked.
Wyatt's brows furrowed. "I thought he was with Miriam," he replied.
"He's not in the kitchen," Josh declared. He felt a tight sensation in his gut. "I'll see if he's in his room," he said and left the sitting room. Going to the rear of the single level ranch house, Josh entered Ryan's room. It was empty.
Now the tightness spread from his gut to his chest. Where was Ryan? Josh had been through this kind of situation enough times to know that something wasn't right. He thought of the many times he'd had conversations with Ryan, making sure he understood the dangers of wandering off. But that had been in Wyoming, Josh told himself. Where there were different kinds of dangers than those to be found on a snow-covered ranch.
Josh hurried to the hallway and slid into his heavy winter coat. Hanging on the rack, right next to his, was Ryan's small coat. Wyatt came to the sitting room door. "Did you find him?"
Josh shook his head. "No."
"Maybe he's somewhere else in the house," Wyatt suggested.
Josh nodded. "I'll take a look." He knew he wouldn't find Ryan in any of the other rooms. And he didn't. Finally, he came to a back door, close to the pantry. It hung open. Outside, on the thin layer of snow, Josh saw a trail of small footprints. He groaned under his breath and gazed out across the flat area of land to the rear of the ranch house. There was no sign of Ryan. The only clue was the direction of the line of footprints which led to some of the ranch outbuildings.
Josh heard Wyatt at his side. "You want me to come with you?" Wyatt asked.
Tightening his jaw, Josh shook his head and sighed. "I'll go myself. He likes to wander off sometimes," he explained.
Wyatt nodded. "The adventurous kind, huh?"
Josh lifted a brow and shook his head. He wasn't in the mood for laughing. He'd dealt with too many of these kind incidents in the last couple of months. Josh knew it was all part of learning how to look after a five year old boy with a mind of his own. Being a father was something about which he still knew almost nothing, Josh reflected.
Josh headed out across the snow-covered ground. His boots sank into the softening soil. Seemed like the snow was thawing already. It was still cold, though. Too cold for a small child to be out without his coat. Without the proper protection against the elements. Even this close to the house, someone like Ryan would have to wrap up if they decided to go outside. The last thing Josh wanted was for Ryan to get sick. Not this close to Christmas.
Following the footprints, he came to the rear of the stable. A small access door was open. From inside he heard a quiet voice. The fears of moments ago began to fade. But Josh still felt a familiar, lingering concern. He knew he'd have to get used to that feeling. For a long time. Worrying about children was part of bringing them up.
Ducking inside the stable, Josh moved to one of the stalls. Between the high, slatted wooden walls, he saw Ryan standing alongside one of the horses. Ryan was stroking the side of horse's front leg. There was wonder in the boy's eyes as he gazed up at the animal. Josh's heart softened. Ryan looked so small next to the tall horse.
Ryan turned and saw Josh. The boy's mouth dropped open, as if he'd been startled by Josh's sudden appearance. "Pa!" Ryan exclaimed.
The horse shifted. Ryan took a step back. Josh moved quickly to steady the horse's nerves. The horse settled and Josh wrapped his arm around Ryan's shoulders, drawing him closer. It felt good to have the boy by his side. All the worries of moments ago had faded.
Josh led Ryan away from the horse. He squatted down and gazed into Ryan's eyes. "Next time you want to come to the stable, come and ask me first. Okay?"
Ryan's eyes widened and he nodded. Holding Ryan by the shoulders, Josh could feel the cold clinging to the little boy. Josh removed his jacket and hung it over Ryan's shoulders. Ryan's small figure was swamped by the sheer bulk of Josh's jacket. Josh tugged the jacket close around Ryan. "It's cold up here in Montana. Especially at this time of the year. I don't want you wandering out like that." He grasped Ryan gently, feeling the boy's thin shoulders through the thickness of the jacket. "You have to promise me you won't do that again. Will you do that?"
Ryan nodded. "I promise, pa," he said.
Just like always, Josh's heart swelled when he heard Ryan call him father. He smiled at Ryan. "It's going to be Christmas soon. You don't want to get un
well over Christmas, do you?"
Ryan shook his head firmly. "Uh uh."
Josh pinched Ryan's cold cheeks. "It's going to be the best Christmas you've ever had."
Ryan's eyes widened. "Really?"
Josh nodded firmly. "Really. The best."
Ryan smiled. "Can I get some good presents, this year?"
Josh stood and mussed up Ryan's hair. "You sure can," he stated. Looking down at the little boy's face, Josh told himself he hadn't seen Ryan look this excited in a long time.
Josh started to lead Ryan toward the stable's front door. As he opened it, Ryan looked up at Josh. "Are you and Miss Buchanan still good friends?"
Taken aback, Josh hesitated before answering. "I think so," he admitted. He peered at Ryan. "What do you think about her?" he asked.
Ryan thought for a moment. "She's real pretty."
Josh nodded. "I'd have to agree with you there," he admitted.
"Uncle Wyatt says you and Miss Buchanan were real good friends," Ryan said.
Josh met Ryan's steady gaze. This was turning into an examination. "Let's get back to the house," he replied. "We're going over to Miss Buchanan's ranch for lunch."
Ryan's features brightened. "Is Uncle Wyatt coming?"
Josh shook his head. "It's just you and me, Ryan."
He led Ryan out of the stable. As they started back toward the ranch house, Josh asked himself just how much of his interest in Grace was already showing if a five-year-old child could notice.
CHAPTER SEVEN
"They're here," Grace announced as she stood at the parlor window. Outside, she could see the buckboard drawing into the yard. Seated on it were Josh and the small figure of Ryan, leaning against Josh's side. Both were wrapped up for the cold weather. Josh was wearing a Stetson and the same heavy duster he'd been wearing when he'd scared off the troublemaker. Ryan was wearing a thin-looking brown coat and shapeless woolen hat. The clothing Ryan was wearing didn't look warm enough for a Montana winter.
There was a flurry of activity in the house as everyone prepared to welcome the very important guests. Clara and Bethany, who were Jake and Emma's adopted seven year old daughters were excited at the prospect of welcoming newcomers. The ranch housekeeper, Hettie had prepared a delicious warm meal at almost no notice. The house was filled with the aromas of home cooking. A huge fire was blazing in the parlor. Everything was as cozy as could be, Grace told herself. It felt like a welcome home. The last time Josh had set foot on the Buchanan spread, it had been summer. This whole event felt like a new start. But a fresh start to what? Grace still hadn't made her mind up about that.
When she'd returned earlier from the Munro ranch, the first thing Grace had done was sit Matilda, Jake and Emma down and tell them all about Ryan. All three had been amazed at the news that Josh Munro was father to a five-year-old boy. Then, she'd told them about how it had all come about, and amazement had turned to the deepest sympathy. Emma had gasped as she'd listened. Even Jake had shown a deep concern at the plight of the little boy. That had gone a long way to alleviate Grace's worries that Jake and Josh might not get along. Jake's new wife was having a real effect on her brother. Grace had seen the changes in him since the marriage. It was good to see. They'd decided to keep the more unpleasant details about Ryan's father from Clara and Bethany. There would be time to tell them later.
Matilda, dressed in one of her warmest winter gowns, raced to the hallway, threw open the front door and stepped out onto the porch. Jake, Emma and the girls followed Grace outside. Josh had already parked the buckboard and was lifting Ryan down from the seat.
"Howdy," Jake said in an obvious friendly tone of voice. He strode over to Josh and Ryan.
Grace saw Josh hesitate a moment. The sight of Jake advancing on him would have been a worry in former times. Ryan leaned against Josh's legs. Josh rested a hand on Ryan's shoulders.
Jake stretched out a hand. "Welcome back, Josh."
Clearly taken aback, Josh glanced at Grace. Then he took Jake's hand and both men exchanged a manly handshake. Grace felt relief sweep through her. Jake squatted down. "And who is this handsome feller?" he asked brightly.
Ryan met Jake's gaze steadily. "My name is Ryan Munro," he announced as if it was the most important thing in the world.
Jake smiled broadly. "Pleased to meet you, Ryan," Jake said and stuck his hand out for Ryan to take. Ryan's little hand disappeared inside Jake's. Ryan smiled up at Josh who nodded slowly back at him.
"Seems like the boys are getting along just fine," Matilda said to Grace and Emma.
Grace and her mother exchanged relieved smiles. "Looks like it, ma," Grace admitted. Clara and Bethany giggled excitedly as they witnessed the welcome.
Matilda advanced to Josh, Jake and Ryan. Josh smiled at Matilda. "It's good to see you again, Mrs Buchanan," he said softly. Grace thought Josh sounded like he meant it.
"I see you've become a father," Matilda said looking down at Ryan. "What a delightful young man," she added. Ryan grinned from ear to ear. Her mother always had a soft spot for children, Grace told herself. And she knew exactly how to win them over.
Matilda and Josh exchanged a gentle hug. Seemed like her mother had already forgiven Josh for his sudden departure three years ago. At least in part. Or maybe she was just putting on a good show of being polite, Grace told herself.
For a brief moment, Josh's gaze settled on Grace. "Hello, Grace," Josh said simply.
Grace nodded, saying nothing. No words were necessary. She knew she had to do everything she could to disguise the effect Josh was having on her. Her heart was pounding inexplicably fast. And she could feel the heat on her cheeks. She lifted her hand to her cheek and felt the warmth there. She tried to smile, but it just wouldn't come easily. Masking her emotions while she was around Matilda and Emma was always difficult. Emma gave Grace a knowing glance which Grace did her absolute best to ignore.
Josh peered at everyone congregated on the porch. "This is quite a welcoming party," he observed and smiled. "The Buchanan ranch got busy while I was gone."
Introductions were made with Emma and the children taking a special place, and then they all made their way into the house. Soon, the parlor was filled with the sounds of excited conversation and the thundering footsteps of children's feet on wooden floorboards. Clara and Bethany hadn't wasted any time persuading Ryan that the most fun could be had by chasing each other around the ranch house. Grace smiled inwardly when she saw Josh's concerned glances at the children.
All the adults chatted for a while in the parlor. Hettie brought in tea and coffee, but no cakes on this occasion. Appetites had to be preserved for the lunch. Finally, they all made their way into the dining room and lunch began. Throughout the meal, Grace saw Josh keeping a close eye on Ryan. And, from time to time, on her. Every glance from Josh triggered an automatic response in Grace. And, as before, she worked hard to school her features. There was no sense in anyone knowing that she still harbored lingering sentiments toward Josh. For all she knew, he'd put the past behind him. And, with his newfound responsibilities, he had more than enough to deal with on a daily basis.
Josh seemed interested in learning about how Jake and Emma and the children had found happiness. As Jake had described his meeting with Emma and the children, and how they'd been brought to the Buchanan ranch, Josh's eyes had filled with curiosity. It seemed that the story of finding family life on the ranch had struck a chord with him.
After the lunch was over, they all made their way back to the parlor. Yet more tea and coffee were served. The conversation drifted to more general matters about life in Inspiration. How things had changed since Josh had left. Grace realized this lunch date had been more than just a meal for Josh. It had been an opportunity to catch up on everything he'd missed out on during his time in Wyoming. And, regarding that time in his life, Grace couldn't help noticing that, although Josh described much of his life there, she still got the distinct impression he was holding more back. Was he hiding something? If so, wha
t could it be?
The Rancher’s Christmas Miracle Page 5