Rebel Kiss: A Historical Romance Novel (Scottish Rebels Book 1)

by Stone, Jenna

  Anna felt Rowan’s muscles tense under her touch as he fought to steady himself against her close proximity. She fitted herself against his body, moving her head onto his chest and closing her eyes as his warmth flooded her body. His skin radiated heat, and his masculine smell calmed her as she rested her cheek on his chest. Anna ignored Rowan’s protests and focused on his breathing. The feeling of his chest rising and falling slowly beneath her cheek calmed her as did the cadence of his steadily beating heart.

  Anna felt the resistance leave Rowan. He mumbled a Gaelic curse under his breath. His muscles relaxed and he relented. Rowan fitted his arms around Anna to pull her up against his chest. They lay quietly for awhile, eyes open, lost in thought.

  Anna enjoyed the safety that Rowan’s arms brought her. She reveled in the warmth and the arousing smell that was distinctly Rowan as she snuggled against him. She was relieved that Rowan had not pushed her away. Anna knew that she should distance herself from Rowan. Lord above, she had tried. She knew that she should guard her heart, but she could not force herself to stay away from him.

  “You ken that we canna continue down this path, Anna,” Rowan whispered against her silky hair as he closed his eyes, still fighting to have the strength to push Anna away. Fighting to do what he knew was right even though holding Anna felt so good.

  “I know,” Anna admitted, but still did not move away from Rowan. “It’s just that when I’m near you, I feel something that I’ve never felt before. I know that it is wrong for me to touch you…to kiss you, to provoke you, but I just….”

  “Yer no provoking me, Anna,” Rowan said sternly, refusing to allow her to compare herself to a common trollop. “I’ve tried tae deny ye in every way that I ken, but I canna fight it either. I feel it too, lass. I ken that I shouldna hold ye close, that I should never have allowed myself tae be sae weak as tae kiss ye. I ken that yer betrothed tae another man and I hate him for that,” Rowan confessed, still holding Anna against himself as the words spilled forth.

  “I’m so scared, Rowan,” Anna whispered, her voice trembling. “I don’t want to marry him,” she admitted in the darkness, voicing her fears aloud for the first time.

  “Then perhaps you shouldna,” Rowan said quietly as he stroked Anna’s back. A seed of hope began to unfurl within him and he felt his heart begin to beat faster.

  “You don’t understand,” Anna protest. “I have to marry Jonathan.”

  “And why is that?”

  “I signed a betrothal agreement back in London,” Anna sighed.

  “All of this worry because of a silly document?” Rowan chuckled. “Have ye no thought, Anna, that ye could use the shipwreck tae yer advantage? This Jonathan may very well believe that ye went down with the ship, as most passengers likely did. This could be your chance at the life that you want.”

  Anna turned the thought over in her mind. For a scant second the thought was exciting, an escape that might allow her to avoid marriage to Jonathan Arbor. And then it hit her. The knot clenched tighter in her stomach.

  “How could I have been so stupid?” Anna whispered against Rowan’s chest. She closed her eyes. “I wrote Murdock a letter back at the inn,” she whispered. “I told him that I had survived the shipwreck of the Mary Catherine and that I was traveling north. I missed my opportunity,” she said quietly.

  Rowan said nothing and stroked Anna’s back. A few moments passed in silence.

  “Ye could breach yer promise,” Rowan said.

  “Break the betrothal contract?” Anna asked.

  “Aye. I doona ken the laws of the New World, but I suppose that it is similar tae back home. If ye breach yer promise of betrothal there is most likely a fine tae pay, but little else.”

  “But I’ve no money to pay a fine,” Anna said sadly. She thought of her mother and Stanton Place. “And Jonathan has paid my mother a bride price already. She could not afford to return his money.”

  “All is not lost, Anna,” Rowan whispered as he kissed the top of her head. “We shall think of something,” he said as he squeezed her shoulder reassuringly. “But ye have a choice tae make,” he began, staring up at the blanket of twinkling stars that dotted the night sky.

  “What choice, Rowan?”

  “Ye need tae choose the life that ye wish tae live here in the New World. The choice is yours, sweetheart. If ye choose me, if ye choose tae build yer life here with me, the simple son of a farmer, it will most likely be a hard life. But I promise ye that it will be a life filled with love and joy,” Rowan said. He kissed Anna’s forehead and closed his eyes, inhaling her sweet scent and forcing the beating of his heart to slow before he continued. “Or ye can choose tae carry through with yer betrothal tae Arbor. He can give ye a life that I will never be able tae give ye.”

  Rowan’s words struck Anna to the core. She considered his words carefully, suddenly realizing that she did in fact have a choice. Her mind screamed for her to tread cautiously. Thoughts of her mother and Stanton Place came crashing forward. But the thudding of her heart reminded her of Rowan. Her heart begged her to choose Rowan.

  “I do not think that he will love me,” Anna said softly. From what Murdock had told her of Jonathan Arbor, he seemed to be a stern man, not the sort of man that would love his wife. Arbor had bought Anna like livestock, paid for her hand in marriage without so much as a letter passing between them. Arbor was a military man in need of a wife to compliment his social position. Anna feared that she would become little more than another possession to her husband. “Could I truly resign myself to that sort of a life, Rowan?”

  “If ye choose him, ye will need tae forget about me, Anna. Ye need tae give him the chance tae love ye, for I canna see how he couldna. With time, it will happen. He will give ye all of the things that ye deserve. He can give ye security. He will be able tae give ye all of the things that I canna,” Rowan said against Anna’s hair as he looked regretfully into the dark night sky.

  “And what if I don’t want those things, Rowan?” Anna said softly. Her heart beat a reckless rhythm in her chest. Anna’s fingers trailed down Rowan’s forearm, relishing the goose bumps that spread over his skin at her lightest touch. She loved that Rowan was so affected by her. His body responded to her touch just as easily as her own traitorous body responded to his gentle touch.

  Rowan knew that fighting his overwhelming attraction to Anna was futile. He was simply not strong enough to push her away. He felt that he owed it to Anna to make sure that she understood all that she was giving up if she chose a life with him.

  “I’ve a proposition for ye,” Rowan said boldly, exhaling slowly in an effort to cast aside the sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. “Doona make yer choice just yet, Anna. Give me tonight,” he pleaded. “Tonight, I’ll be yours tae do with as ye wish, tae hold, tae kiss…” he trailed off and swallowed audibly before mustering the strength to continue, “And then tomorrow ye can make yer choice. And if ye choose him, we must force ourselves apart. We must begin the process of letting go.”

  “Is that not a bit reckless?” Anna whispered solemnly, savoring the idea of holding Rowan and giving into the desires that she had been repressing, even if it would only be for one night. One night might have to last her a lifetime.

  “Aye,” Rowan whispered, trailing a finger languidly up her arm in invitation. “I think that reckless is what we need.”

  Anna chewed on her bottom lip as she contemplated Rowan’s proposal. Could she really let Rowan go after kissing him again? Rowan was silent, his heartbeat the only sound echoing through Anna’s ears. She needed time to think. Indulging her feelings for Rowan was a perilous leap.

  “Quinn told me about Mairi,” Anna whispered against Rowan’s chest, breaking the silence and changing the subject.

  “He did, did he?” Rowan said, stroking her back gently. “So now ye understand why he acts as he does?”

  “It breaks my heart to think of how he must feel,” Anna confessed, feeling fresh tears well up in her eyes as she th
ought of Quinn’s suffering. “He told me about how you fought to save her,” Anna whispered, a tear streaming down her cheek and onto Rowan’s shirt. “You were very brave.”

  “I loved her too,” Rowan said softly, brushing Anna’s hair back from her face.

  Anna held Rowan in silence, gathering strength from him in the darkness.

  Her heart raced in her chest and she tried to rein it in.

  You love him. Let him in. If only for tonight.

  Give yourself this one night.

  Feel his love and give him yours.

  Rowan stroked Anna’s hair in the firelight and held her tight against his chest, wishing to protect her as he had been unable to do for Mairi. Anna toyed with the fabric of Rowan’s shirt. The gentle touch of her fingers on the fabric over his skin was soothing to him and he felt his tense muscles relax.

  “So this is a new start for you and your brothers,” Anna whispered, reaching up to dry the last tears from her eyes.

  “Ye could say that,” Rowan said, threading Anna’s hair through his fingers and watching how the lighter flecks seemed to sparkle in the firelight.

  “Do you hate me because I’m English?” she asked, voice concerned. “Because of what they did to you?”

  “I could never hate you, Anna,” Rowan whispered, leaning down to kiss Anna’s forehead. “In fact, it’s quite the opposite, and I’m not sure what tae do about it,” he confessed, eyes staring up into the night sky.

  Let him in. Let him love you.

  Love him, if only for tonight.

  “Kiss me again,” Anna whispered, pulling her head up off of Rowan’s chest and looking into his eyes. Her hair fell loosely by her side and the firelight danced off her skin as she looked up at Rowan, eyes beckoning him in open invitation.

  Rowan reached up and caressed Anna’s cheek, savoring the feel of her warm skin against his fingers. His breath came raggedly now and although he knew that he should not press further, his heart would not let him back down. He wanted Anna Stanton more than he had ever wanted anything in his life.

  “Kiss me, Rowan,” Anna said again, more insistently this time.

  “I …ye ken that I want tae… but I’m afraid I willna be able tae stop this time,” Rowan said, forcing his hand to withdraw from her, his eyes looking longingly at Anna’s beautiful face in the firelight.

  Her full luscious lips taunted him and when Anna began to chew absentmindedly on her lower lip, the small action nearly pushed Rowan beyond the brink of his evaporating control. “I want you, Rowan,” Anna whispered, a faint blush lighting her face.

  “If we do this tonight, Anna, if ye agree tae be mine tonight ye must promise tae be gentle with my heart,” Rowan breathed out slowly, begging for her mercy. Conflicting emotions played openly across his face, his emerald green eyes darkened with desire. “I think that it will be verra difficult for me tae let ye go and I’ll need some space from ye tae do that.”

  “Perhaps you will not have to let me go,” Anna said, the words falling from her mouth unexpectedly. Her conscience screamed for her to tread cautiously, but her heart could not help her from speaking the truth. She wanted to choose Rowan, but she was still unsure if it would be possible to breach her promise to Arbor.

  Anna took Rowan’s hand and placed it over her heart. Her pulse raced and her heart thundered in anticipation of the reckless contract that she was striking with Rowan. “Do you feel that?” she whispered, holding his hand to her chest in the darkness.

  “Aye,” Rowan whispered in return, closing his eyes and listening to Anna’s heart thunder for him.

  “Tonight I want you to be mine, Rowan Murray, because you do this to me. You make my heart beat like this,” she said as she continued to hold his hand over her heart. “And I know that I would regret it for the rest of my life if I did not kiss you again.”

  Anna leaned forward and twisted her hands into the loose fabric of Rowan’s shirt. She pulled herself down toward him with controlled precision, inching ever closer to the warmth of his welcoming mouth. Closing her eyes, Anna brought her lips to Rowan’s, kissing him softly, her lips questioning. “Tonight, you’re mine,” Anna whispered against Rowan’s lips as she slowly withdrew.

  Rowan groaned deep in his throat and relented to his desire, folding Anna up in his arms and drawing her down on top of him. He slid a hand behind her neck and fisted it in her silky hair. His mouth was hot and needful, claiming Anna’s in a passionate kiss. His tongue thrust against her lips, demanding that she open for him.

  Anna was lost in her desire. She arched her back and kissed Rowan wantonly, running her hands over his chest. Her fingers eagerly explored his back and trailed through his hair.

  Anna’s uninhibited touch caused the feelings that Rowan had worked so hard to repress to cascade forth, unabashed and ravenous in their desire. His mouth slanted over Anna’s hungrily, seeking to stake claim upon her lips. Anna met him at every turn, fueling his passion with her own. She nipped at his lower lip, moaning softly as she arched against Rowan’s chest. Her fingernails scored the skin of his back, marking him as hers, claiming him.

  Shaking with his need, Rowan regained enough control to break the kiss, realizing that he was now lying on top of Anna. He supported his weight on his elbows as he loomed over her. Anna’s hazel eyes were darkened with passion. Rowan could see her ruddy lips, marked by the scratch of his stubble. He felt a surge of possessiveness swell within. Anna belonged to him. No other man should touch her this way, no other man should feel her beautiful body warm and willing beneath him. No other man should kiss her as he had just done.

  Anna was his.

  And he was hers.

  And he’d be damned if he could ever let her go.

  Not now. Not after this.

  Anna’s lips were parted. Her breath came in small, shaky gasps. Her fingers delved into Rowan’s hair, a soft, wanting smile curling up the corners of her mouth as she guided him back to her.

  Rowan lowered his forehead so that it was resting against Anna’s, holding his lips just above hers. His heart thundered in his chest from the thrill of kissing her so passionately. Rowan closed his eyes, fighting to retain his control, and placed a chaste kiss on Anna’s lips. He could feel that they were now swollen from the assault of his kisses.

  “Please don’t stop,” Anna whispered against Rowan’s lips, reaching up to tuck a strand of his chestnut hair behind his ear. Her eyes searched his face, longing for him to kiss her again.

  “How is it that ye can do this tae me, woman?” Rowan gritted out, writhing slightly and uttering the faintest groan. “If ye had a shred of mercy about ye…ye would stop this torment and go tae sleep.”

  “But I’m not tired,” Anna said softly, feeling wanton as the waves of desire that Rowan kindled spread through her body. She had never kissed a man before Rowan and reveled in the power that her touch had in provoking Rowan. She knew that she should stop, knew that she should stop prodding him onward like a common whore. What would he think of her?

  The fact was that Anna suddenly didn’t care what he thought of her. Casting caution to the wind, Anna decided to play with fire. She just wanted one more kiss. And she wanted to know what it felt like to love a man before she was cast into a lifetime of a marriage with a man that she quite possibly would never grow to love.

  As if reading her mind, Rowan gently kissed her, slowly and languidly, savoring her sweet taste in his mouth. He fought all of his instincts, his desire to ravish her, to possess her completely and moved his lips over hers, tormenting her with his tenderness. After all, there wouldn’t be any harm in just kissing Anna goodnight. He would allow himself just this small pleasure. Rowan was certainly experienced enough to know when to stop. He had been able to stop with every woman before this one.

  Rowan drew away slowly, leaving Anna trembling with desire under his finger tips. He nipped playfully at her collarbone and placed soft kisses up her neck until his lips brushed her ear. “And if yer no tired, what if I m
ake ye tired?” Rowan questioned boldly against his better judgment, suggestion heavy in his tone. “I’ll never neglect yer needs, Anna,” he whispered, brushing the back of his hand across her breast. “Tonight I’m going tae treat ye as if ye belonged tae me.”

  So much for knowing when to stop.

  Anna moaned softly, closing her eyes and arching against Rowan.

  “Shh…” Rowan whispered against her ear. “Ye’ll have tae keep quiet,” he chuckled against her skin, pleased by how her body reacted so readily to his touch. Rowan pulled the blanket up so that it completely covered them, affording what measure of privacy that he could. Hell, he wouldn’t have cared if the entire world was watching. His body was wild with the need to touch Anna, to please her.

  Ever so slowly, Rowan slid his hand under Anna’s skirt, taking his time to savor the silky smooth skin of her legs. He knew that he would stop if she asked him to, but stopping this sweet torment might kill him. He only hoped that he had the strength to stop.

  Rowan’s nose brushed against Anna’s. He smiled when he thought of the faint spray of freckles that graced the bridge of her nose. She was so perfect, so beautiful to him. Rowan claimed Anna’s lips in another possessive kiss just as his hand found what it had been so boldly seeking. He groaned deeply when he learned that Anna wasn’t wearing any undergarments. She was completely bare beneath her dress. Rowan brushed over her curls lightly with his fingers, his hand shaking with the need to touch her.

  Anna took in her breath sharply and jumped, startled by the wave of pleasure that she felt at Rowan’s slightest touch. Never had she been touched so intimately by a man. Hell, she’d never even kissed a man before Rowan. And yet, here she was, unashamed that he was touching her like this. Not only was she unashamed, she was thoroughly enjoying how Rowan was touching her. She planned to savor this moment for the rest of her life.