‘Urm, I’m not sure,’ I shrug. ‘I don’t even really live here.’ I whisper. I want to add that I’ve been abducted and moved in against my will.
‘You don’t?’ Her face is puzzled ‘My boy said you did.’
‘Well, it’s a conversation yet to be had,’ I explain. ‘He doesn’t like the word no. Well, not from me, anyway.’
Her shiny forehead furrows. ‘What, my easygoing boy?’
I scoff. ‘Yes, so I’m told.’ If anyone else says he’s easygoing, I might just trample them.
‘Well, it’s nice to have a lady in the house.’ she says, collecting some cleaner from under the sink. ‘My boy needs a girl.’ she muses to herself.
I smile at Cathy’s affectionate referral to Jesse. I wonder how long she has worked for him? Jesse had said that she was the only woman he couldn’t live without, although I suspect that has changed now.
She sprays the worktop down with anti-bacterial spray and starts wiping. ‘I’ll wait for Jesse then, if you would prefer.’
‘Yes, thank you. I’m just going to make a few calls.’ I notice my phone charging on the side but no bag. ‘Have you seen my bag?’
‘I popped it in the cloakroom, darling. Oh, and I’ve had Clive sort out the elevator door.’
I cringe. ‘Oh, thank you.’ I grab my phone and make my way out of the kitchen to retrieve my bag. She probably thinks I’m a slob as well as a rude cow, a vandal and a flasher.
I find my bag and glance down at my phone, noting two missed calls from my Mum and a text from Matt. My shoulders sag. I should delete it, but curiosity gets the better of me.
I don’t know what got into me. I’m sorry x.
I bristle from head to toe and delete the message. The last thing I need is Jesse finding it. He was sorry before and it’s still bothering me how he knows about Jesse. I should ring my Mum first, but I have a friend with some explaining to do. She takes a while, but she eventually answers. I know she’ll be looking down at her screen, wondering what to say.
‘You’re a member!’ I blurt accusingly when she finally picks up.
‘And?’ She’s aiming for nonchalance, but I’m detecting irritation.
‘Why didn’t you tell me?’
‘It’s none of your business.’ she retorts.
‘Thanks!’ I’m completely offended. We tell each other everything.
‘It’s just a bit of fun, Ava.’ she huffs impatiently.
I’ve heard this before, but I know there’s more to it. I know she likes Sam and I can’t see how joining him in all things kinky and going along with his lifestyle is going to get her what she wants. This is a disaster waiting to happen. ‘You keep saying that.’ I grate down the phone. ‘Why won’t you admit there is more to it?’
‘Like what?’ she asks, her tone indicating surprise – surprise that I’ve come out and asked the million dollar question.
‘Like you really like him.’ I say, completely exasperated.
She scoffs. ‘I do not!’
‘Oh, you’re hopeless.’ I snap. Why can’t she just swallow her pride and admit it? What harm would it do, especially to me?
‘Talking of hopeless; how’s Jesse? Fuck me, Ava. That man can screw!’
I laugh. ‘Yes, he can. Matt tried to jump my bones before Jesse ambushed the flat. He proceeded to tell Jesse that we had a little snog. I think Matt might be nursing a black eye this morning.’
‘Ha, good!’ She laughs, and I can’t help the small smile of satisfaction developing on my face. He deserved it.
‘He knows about Jesse’s little drink issue.’ I add. I’m not laughing now.
‘How?’ Her shock matches mine.
‘I have no idea. Anyway, I’ve got to ring my mother. I guess I’ll see you later.’
‘Oh yes!’ she chirps excitedly. I can’t match her excitement for the anniversary dinner tonight. ‘See you there!’
‘Bye.’ I hang up and dial my mother before she sends out the search party.
‘Ava?’ Her shrill voice assaults my eardrums.
‘Mum, not so loud!’
‘Sorry. Matt’s called again.’
What?
I take myself across to the main open area and sit myself down. Any hopes of being cheered up by my mother have been well and truly dashed with that little statement.
‘Ava, he said you’ve moved in with a raving alcoholic who has a terrible temper. He beat Matt up!’
I fall back in a chair and look up to the ceiling in total mental exasperation. Why can’t the prick just crawl into the dark hole he came from and die? ‘Mum, please don’t speak to him anymore.’ I plead. What a lowlife he really is, dumping this shit on my parents. It just reinforces my conclusions about the deceitful, nasty snake.
‘Is it true?’ she asks tentatively. I can see her in my mind’s eye flicking a worried glare at my Dad.
‘Not exactly,’ I can’t completely lie to her. She’ll have to find out where I am eventually. ‘It’s nothing like Matt says, Mum.’
‘Well, what is it then?’
Oh, I can’t do this over the phone. There is far too much to explain and I don’t want her passing judgment on Jesse. I could kill Matt. ‘Mum, listen. I’ve got to get to work.’ A little white lie won’t hurt.
‘Ava, I’m so worried about you.’
I can sense her despair. I hate Matt for doing this, but he said he was sorry. Was that before or after he called my parents to give them an update on my love life? I should send Jesse around to trample all over him. ‘Please, don’t be. Matt wanted me back. He pounced on me when I went to collect the last of my things and turned nasty when I rebuffed him. Jesse was just protecting me.’ I try to cut a long story short and purposely leave out any parts that could tarnish Jesse. There are a few.
‘Jesse? Was that the man you were with when I called last weekend?’
‘Yes.’ I sigh.
‘So, he’s not just a friend?’ Her tone is scornful. She’s rumbled my small white lie and she won’t be happy about it.
‘I’m just seeing him. It’s nothing serious.’ I try and play it down and laugh in my head. I can’t believe I just said that.
‘And he’s an alcoholic?’ she prompts.
I let out a tired breath that I know she won’t appreciate. ‘He’s not an alcoholic, Mum. Matt’s being spiteful, ignore him. And don’t answer anymore of his calls.’
‘I’m not happy about this. There is no smoke without fire, Ava.’ She really doesn’t sound happy and I can’t blame her. I’ve never been so glad that they live so far away. I don’t think I could face her. ‘Your brother will be back in London soon.’ she adds threateningly. I know for sure she’ll be hanging up on me and ringing Dan immediately to give him the lowdown.
‘I know. I’ve got to go.’ I push.
‘Fine, I’ll speak to you over the weekend,’ she says on a huff. ‘Take care of yourself.’ She adds the last bit a little more softly. She never ends a conversation on a bad note.
‘I will, I love you.’
‘You too, Ava.’
I drop my phone in my lap and keep staring up at the high ceiling. Will he continue to shit all over me? The temptation to ring Matt’s mother is overwhelming. I’ve never been her favourite person and she’s never been mine. Her little golden boy can do no wrong, so calling her and filling her in on Matt’s transgressions would be fruitless. Oh God, my parents will be frantic.
I close my eyes and try to dispel all thoughts of hideous ex-boyfriends and worrying parents. It doesn’t work. When I open them again, Jesse’s face is floating above mine, a hand braced on each arm of the chair as he leans over me.
His big smile disappears when he registers my expression. ‘What’s up?’ he asks, all concerned. I don’t want to tell him. The last thing I need is to rile him after yesterday’s events. ‘Hey, tell me. No more secrets.’
‘Okay,’ I say as he crouches in front of me so our eyes are level.
He takes my hands in his. ‘Come on
then.’ he prompts when I don’t elaborate on my okay. I don’t want to start the day off with a Jesse rage.
‘Matt phoned my parents and told them I’m shacked up with a raving alcoholic who beat him up.’ I blurt it out fast and brace myself for the storm. I can see the colour rising in his face already as he chews his bottom lip. I’ve changed my mind; I don’t think I want to send Jesse around to sort Matt out. By the look of his face, he would probably kill him.
I sit and wait pensively for Jesse to ponder whatever it is he is pondering.
‘I’m not an alcoholic.’ He eventually grates.
‘I know.’ I give him my most re-assuring voice, but I fear I just sound patronising. He really doesn’t like being called an alcoholic, and now I’m wondering if he’s right or if he’s in denial. He looks so angry, I wish I had kept my mouth shut.
‘Jesse, how does he know?’
He stands up straight. ‘I don’t know, Ava. We need to have a chat with Cathy.’
Is that it? Is he not going to try and find out? ‘Why do we need a chat with Cathy?’ I ask shortly.
‘She’s been away. She needs to know stuff.’ He puts his hand out to me and I let him pull me up.
‘Like what?’
‘I don’t know,’ he answers on a huff. ‘That’s why we need to talk to her.’ He tries to tug me towards the kitchen.
I pull my hand away. ‘No. You, Jesse. This is your place, she is your housekeeper.’ I shake my head. That little comment has just earned me an almighty growl and a glare.
‘Ours!’ He reaches around me, grabs my bum and yanks me to his body. ‘You really know how to rub me up the wrong way. Which reminds me,’ He rolls his groin into me. ‘That was cruel and unreasonable.’ He arches his brow. ‘I waited upstairs and you didn’t show.’
A small chuckle escapes my mouth. ‘What did you do?’
‘What do you think I did?’
I burst into fits of laughter at the thought of my poor man resorting to a quick wank because I’m a child and a tease. I’m soon shut up, though, when I feel him grind into me again. I catch his eyes. They are dancing in delight. I know his game and with Cathy in the kitchen, I also know he has no intention of seeing me through to the end. I wriggle out of his arms and straighten myself out.
‘I’m sorry.’ I say on a grin. I’m not.
He narrows his dazzling greens on me. All of the anger has gone, thank God. ‘You will be.’ He makes a grab for me and positions me back in front of him. ‘Don’t do it again.’ He kisses me hard, grinds his hips, and then removes himself from me, leaving me dazed and disorientated.
I scowl at him. ‘Go and talk to your housekeeper.’ I make a rubbish job of pretending he doesn’t have an effect on me.
‘Ours! For fuck sake woman!’ He clenches his jaw in frustration at me. ‘You’re impossible!’
Me? ‘You go and talk to the housekeeper. I need to make peace with Clive.’ I leave him with a face like thunder. ‘Bye, Cathy.’ I call as I leave the penthouse.
I exit the elevator timidly. I’ve won Cathy back over, now it’s time to work on Clive. I have the urgent need to cleanse my soul. I laugh inwardly. A few apologies to the staff of Lusso isn’t going to cut it, and now Clive knows about the elevator door, I expect he’s even more cross with me.
I spot him collecting the post from the mailboxes. ‘Morning, Clive.’ I say cheerfully.
He looks up as he locks the mailbox. There is no escaping his grievance with me. ‘Ava.’ he replies with no friendliness. It’s beyond formal. I’ve really upset him.
‘Clive, I’m so sorry.’
‘You caused me untold inconvenience.’ He shakes his head as he makes his way back to his desk. ‘And I have no idea what happened to the elevator door. You’re like a whirlwind, Ava.’
Me? I roll my eyes. I’m not defending myself. ‘I know. Tell me how I can make it up to you.’ I rest my elbows on the high desk and plaster on my most angelic face.
‘Don’t look at me like that, young lady.’ he admonishes me.
I flutter my eye lashes, and he tries his best not to smile, but the corners of his mouth are twitching. I’ve nearly got him. ‘What’s your favourite tipple?’ I ask. Old boys’ are a sucker for a good whiskey. He glances up from the post he is sorting out.
Bingo!
‘I don’t mind a Glenmorangie Port wood finish.’ His eyes light up.
‘Done,’ I say, and he smiles. ‘I really am very sorry. I don’t know what got into me.’ I do know what got into me; Jesse Ward got into me.
‘Consider it forgotten. Here’s your post.’ He hands me a couple of envelopes.
‘Thanks, Clive.’
I turn and walk out into the sunshine, putting my sunglasses on and shoving the envelopes in my bag. It’s a lovely day, and I’m looking forward to spending all of it with Mr Challenging.
‘You’ll have to talk to her,’ Jesse strides out of the foyer of Lusso. ‘She’s asking about favourite foods, toiletries and all sorts.’ He’s clearly exasperated.
Watching him approach, I take him in, all six foot three inches of lean loveliness. I smile to myself. I will never tire of admiring him. His stonewashed jeans hang low on his hips and the white t-shirt is gripping his biceps slightly. He has his Wayfarers on and he’s not shaved. I could eat him.
‘What are you grinning at?’ he asks, completely amused as he approaches me.
‘Do you not find it strange that you don’t know those things?’ My voice is critical and intended to be. It’s ridiculous that we don’t know these basic facts about each other.
He grabs my hand and leads on. ‘Your point being?’
‘My point is that we don’t know much about each other.’ I say. He can’t argue with that. It’s a perfectly accurate statement.
He pulls me to a stop. ‘What’s your favourite food?’
I frown. ‘Smoked salmon.’
‘I knew that,’ he smiles. ‘What deodorant do you use?’
I roll my eyes. ‘Vaseline.’
He looks up to the heavens and blows out a fake, relieved breath before returning his eyes to mine. ‘I feel like I know you so much better now,’ he mocks. ‘Happy?’
He thinks he’s clever. He just won’t admit that it’s unusual not to know these things. ‘We’re driving?’ I ask as he opens the passenger door for me to get in.
‘Well, I’m not walking and I don’t do public transport, so yes, we’re driving. Anyway, we need to shoot over to The Manor to check everything is in place for tonight.’
I think I just about disguise my inward groan. Great, I get a day off work to spend with Jesse, and I’m being dragged to The Manor day and night. I get in and wait for Jesse to slide in beside me.
We take off towards the city, the morning rush hour traffic not bothering Jesse in the slightest. Oasis sing Morning Glory, and I watch Jesse as he hums along, tapping his steering wheel and performing his usual swerving, cutting in and general poor road manners. He looks so trouble free and happy with himself. This is the easygoing Jesse who everyone keeps telling me about. After the more recent revelations, I feel like a weight has been lifted. I know he has a history and a pretty sordid one at that, but it’s in his past. He loves me. I don’t doubt it for a minute.
‘What?’ He glances across, catching me studying him.
‘I was just thinking about how much I love you.’ I say casually as I let the window down a bit. It’s hot in here.
‘I know you do,’ He reaches over and grasps my bare knee. ‘Where am I heading then?’
Well that’s easy. ‘Oxford Street,’ I reply. ‘All of the stores I like are on Oxford Street.’
His face screws up disapprovingly. ‘All of the stores?’
‘Yes.’ What’s the matter with him?
‘Isn’t there just one shop you go to?’
Just one shop? He thinks I’m going to find a dress in the first shop I walk in? ‘I want some new shoes as well. And maybe a bag. You won’t find it all in one stor
e.’
‘I would!’ he says, stunned at my intention to drag him around more than one shop. I can’t imagine Jesse shopping for clothes. Men’s shopping is a lot simpler than women’s. If he’s expecting a similar experience to when he goes shopping, then he’s in for a shock.
‘Where do you go?’ I ask.
‘Harrods. Zoe sorts me out every time. It’s quick and pain free.’
‘Yes, that’s because you pay for the service you get.’ I reply dryly.
‘The service is second to none and worth every penny. They’re the best at what they do.’ he says firmly. ‘Anyway, you’re not buying the dresses, so I get to choose the shopping style.’
My head snaps up. ‘One dress, Jesse, you owe me one dress.’ I remind him. He shrugs, completely ignoring me. ‘One dress.’ I affirm.
‘Lots of dresses.’ he says to himself.
Oh no! He is not buying my clothes. I’ve had one shopping experience with him, and he nearly had an epileptic fit over the length of my dress. Yes, I only bought the stupidly expensive thing in a childish revenge fit, but the point is; he thought he could dictate what I wear. He wants to buy my clothes so he can choose them.
‘You are not buying my clothes!’ I say with all the disgust I truly feel.
He looks at me like I’ve just grown another head. ‘I fucking am!’
‘No, you’re not.’
‘Ava, this is not up for discussion. End of.’ He removes his hand from my knee to change gear.
‘No, you’re right, it’s not. I buy my own clothes.’ I turn Oasis up to drown out any counter attack. I’m not budging on this. I will buy my own clothes. End of!
We travel the rest of the way with only Oasis filling the silence. I catch him chewing his bottom lip and the cogs are turning so fast I can almost hear them. I smile because if we were not in public, I would be having a sense fuck right about now. Instead, though, he’s thinking about how else he can go about getting his way.
He parks up then turns to face me. ‘I have a proposition for you.’ he tells me confidently.
Ah, the cogs at work. I’ve no doubt the end result of this proposition will be Jesse getting his own way. ‘I’m not bargaining with you and there is no scope for a sense fuck here, is there?’ I say smugly, getting out of the car.
Beneath This Man (This Man Trilogy) Page 29