by Meg Cabot
This made me feel really sad. I mean, I guess I couldn’t blame her, really. If I didn’t know any better, I’d probably have talked to that tankard, too.
But that, you see, was what all those people on my block had been wrong about. My dad was dead, yeah. But I did see him again.
In fact, I probably see him more now than I did when he was alive. When he was alive, he had to go to work most days. Now that he’s dead, he doesn’t have all that much to do. So I see him a lot. Almost too much, in fact. His favorite thing to do is suddenly materialize when I least expect it. It’s kind of annoying.
My dad was the one who finally explained it to me. So I guess, in a way, it’s a good thing he did die, since I might never have known, otherwise.
Actually, that isn’t true. There was a tarot card reader who said something about it once. It was at a school carnival. I only went because Gina didn’t want to go alone. I pretty much thought it was a crock, but I went along because that’s what best friends do for one another. The woman—Madame Zara, Psychic Medium—read Gina’s cards, telling her exactly what she wanted to hear: Oh, you’re going to be very successful, you’ll be a brain surgeon, you’ll marry at thirty, and have three kids, blah, blah, blah. When she was done, I got up to go, but Gina insisted Madame Zara do a reading for me, too.
You can guess what happened. Madame Zara read the cards once, looked confused, and shuffled them up and read them again. Then she looked at me.
“You,” she said, “talk to the dead.”
This excited Gina. She went, “Oh my God! Oh my God! Really? Suze, did you hear that? You can talk to the dead! You’re a psychic medium, too!”
“Not a medium,” Madame Zara said. “A mediator.”
Gina looked crushed. “A what? What’s that?”
But I knew. I’d never known what it was called, but I knew what it was. My dad hadn’t put it quite that way when he’d explained things, but I got the gist of it, anyway: I am pretty much the contact person for just about anybody who croaks leaving things…well, untidy. Then, if I can, I clean up the mess.
That’s the only way I can think to explain it. I don’t know how I got so lucky—I mean, I am normal in every other respect. Well, almost, anyway. I just have this unfortunate ability to communicate with the dead.
Not any dead, either. Only the unhappy dead.
So you can see that my life has really been just a bowl of cherries these past sixteen years.
Imagine, being haunted—literally haunted—by the dead, every single minute of every single day of your life. It is not pleasant. You go down to the deli to get a soda—oops, dead guy on the corner. Somebody shot him. And if you could just make sure the cops get the guy who did it, he can finally rest in peace.
And all you wanted was a soda.
Or you go to the library to check out a book—oops, the ghost of some librarian comes up to you and wants you to tell her nephew how mad she is about what he did with her cats after she kicked the bucket.
And those are just the folks who know why they’re still sticking around. Half of them don’t have any idea why they haven’t slipped off into the afterlife like they’re supposed to.
Which is irritating because, of course, I’m the schmuck who’s supposed to help them get there.
I’m the mediator.
I tell you, it is not a fate I would wish on anybody.
There isn’t a whole lot of payoff in the mediation field. It isn’t like anyone’s ever offered me a salary or anything. Not even hourly compensation. Just the occasional warm fuzzies you get when you do a good turn for somebody. Like telling some girl who didn’t get to say good-bye to her grandfather before he passed away that he really loves her, and he forgives her for that time she trashed his El Dorado. That kind of thing can warm the heart, it really can.
But for the most part, it’s cold pricklies all the way. Besides the hassle—constantly being pestered by folks nobody but you can see—there’s the fact that a lot of ghosts are really rude. I mean it. They are royal pains to deal with. These are generally the ones who actually want to hang around in this world instead of taking off for the next one. They probably know that based on their behavior in their most recent life, they aren’t in for much of a treat in the one they’ve got coming up. So they just stay here and bug people, slamming doors, knocking over things, making cold spots, groaning. You know what I mean. Your basic poltergeists.
Sometimes, though, they can get rough. I mean, they try to hurt people. On purpose. That’s when I usually get mad. That’s when I usually feel compelled to kick a little ghost butt.
Which was what my mom meant when she said, “Oh, Suze. Not again.” When I kick ghost butt, things have a tendency to get a little…messy.
Not that I had any intention of messing up my new room. Which is why I turned my back on the ghost sitting on my window seat and said, “Never mind, Mom. Everything’s fine. The room is great. Thanks so much.”
I could tell she didn’t believe me. It’s hard to fake out my mom. I know she suspects there’s something up with me. She just can’t figure out what it is. Which is probably a good thing because it would shake up the world as she knows it in too major a way. I mean, she’s a television news reporter. She only believes what she can see. And she can’t see ghosts.
I can’t tell you how much I wish I could be like her.
“Well,” she said, “I’m glad you like it. I was sort of worried. I mean, I know how you get about…well, old places.”
Old places are the worst for me because the older a building is, the more chance there is that someone has died in it, and that he or she is still hanging around there looking for justice or waiting to deliver some final message to someone. Let me tell you, this led to some pretty interesting results back when my mom and I used to go apartment hunting in the city. We would walk into these seemingly perfect apartments, and I’d be like, “Nuh-uh. No way,” for no reason that I could actually explain. It’s really a wonder my mom never just packed me off to boarding school.
“Really, Mom,” I said. “It’s great. I love it.”
Andy, hearing this, hustled around the room all excitedly, showing me the clap-on, clap-off lights (oh, boy) and various other gadgets he’d installed. I followed him around, expressing my delight, being careful not to look in the ghost’s direction. It really was sweet, how much Andy wanted me to be happy. And I was determined, because he wanted it so much, to be happy. At least as happy as it’s possible for someone like me to be.
After a while, Andy ran out of stuff to show me, and went away to start the barbecue, since in honor of my arrival, we were having surf and turf for dinner. Sleepy and Dopey took off to “hit some waves” before we ate, and Doc, muttering mysteriously about an “experiment” he’d been working on, drifted off to another part of the house, leaving me alone with my mother…well, sort of.
“Is it really all right, Suze?” my mom wanted to know. “I know it’s a big change. I know it’s asking a lot of you—”
I took off my leather jacket. I don’t know if I’ve mentioned this, but it was pretty hot out for January. Like seventy. I’d nearly roasted in the car. “It’s fine, Mom,” I said. “Really.”
“I mean, asking you to leave Grandma, and Gina, and New York. It’s selfish of me, I know. I know things haven’t been…well, easy for you. Especially since Daddy died.”
My mother likes to think that the reason I’m not like the traditional teenage girl she was when she was my age—she was a cheerleader, and homecoming queen, and had lots of boyfriends and stuff—is that I lost my father at such an early age. She blames his death for everything, from the fact that I have no friends—with the exception of Gina—to the fact that I sometimes engage in extremely weird behavior.
And I suppose some of the stuff I’ve done in the past would seem pretty weird to someone who didn’t know why I was doing it, or couldn’t see who I was doing it for. I have certainly been caught any number of times in places I wasn’t su
pposed to be. I’ve been brought home by the police a few times, accused of trespassing or vandalism or breaking and entering.
And while I’ve never actually been convicted of anything, I’ve spent any number of hours in my mother’s therapist’s office, being assured that this tendency I have to talk to myself is perfectly normal, but that my propensity to talk to people who aren’t there probably isn’t.
Ditto my dislike of any building not constructed in the past five years.
Ditto the amount of time I spend in graveyards, churches, temples, mosques, other people’s (locked) apartments or houses, and school grounds after hours.
I suppose Andy’s boys must have overheard something about this, and that’s where the whole gang thing came from. But like I said, I’ve never actually served time for anything I’ve done.
And that two-week suspension in the eighth grade isn’t even reflected on my permanent record.
So maybe it wasn’t so unusual for my mother to be sitting there on my bed, talking about “fresh starts” and all of that. It was kind of weird that she was doing it while this ghost was sitting a few feet away, watching us. But whatever. She seemed to have a need to talk about how things were going to be much better for me out here on the West Coast.
And if that’s what she wanted, I was going to do my best to make sure she got it. I had already resolved not to do anything out here that was going to end up getting me arrested, so that was a start, anyway.
“Well,” my mom said, running out of steam after her you-won’t-make-friends-unless-you-project-a-friendly-demeanor speech. “I guess if you don’t want help unpacking, I’ll go see how Andy is doing with dinner.”
Andy, in addition to being able to build just about anything, was also an excellent cook, something my mother most definitely was not.
I said, “Yeah, Mom, you go do that. I’ll just get settled in here, and I’ll be down in a minute.”
My mom nodded and got up—but she wasn’t about to let me escape that easily. Just as she was about to go out the door, she turned around and said, her blue eyes all filled with tears, “I just want you to be happy, Susie. That’s all I’ve ever wanted. Do you think you can be happy here?”
I gave her a hug. I’m as tall as she is, in my ankle boots. “Sure, Mom,” I said. “Sure, I’ll be happy here. I feel at home already.”
“Really?” My mom was sniffling. “You swear?”
“I do.” And I wasn’t lying, either. I mean, there’d been ghosts in my bedroom back in Brooklyn all the time, too.
She went away, and I shut the door quietly behind her. I waited until I couldn’t hear her heels on the stairs anymore, and then I turned around.
“All right,” I said, to the presence on the window seat. “Who the hell are you?”
Chapter
Three
To say that the guy looked surprised to be addressed in this manner would have been a massive understatement. He didn’t just look surprised. He actually looked over his shoulder, to see if it was really him I was talking to.
But of course, the only thing behind him was the window, and through it, that incredible view of Carmel Bay. So then he turned back to look at me, and must have seen that my gaze was fastened directly on his face, since he breathed, “Nombre de Dios,” in a manner that would have had Gina, who has a thing for Latino guys, swooning.
“It’s no use calling on your higher power,” I informed him, as I swung the pink-tasseled chair to my new dressing table around, and straddled it. “In case you haven’t noticed, He isn’t paying a whole lot of attention to you. Otherwise, He wouldn’t have left you here to fester for—” I took in his outfit, which looked a lot like something they’d have worn on The Wild, Wild West. “What is it, a hundred and fifty years? Has it really been that long since you croaked?”
He stared at me with eyes that were as black and liquid as ink. “What is…croaked?” he asked, in a voice that sounded rusty from disuse.
I rolled my eyes. “Kicked the bucket,” I translated. “Checked out. Popped off. Bit the dust.” When I saw from his perplexed expression that he still didn’t understand, I said, with some exasperation, “Died.”
“Oh,” he said. “Died.” But instead of answering my question, he shook his head. “I don’t understand,” he said, in tones of wonder. “I don’t understand how it is that you can see me. All these years, no one has ever—”
“Yeah,” I said, cutting him off. I hear this kind of thing a lot, you understand. “Well, listen, the times, you know, they are a-changin’. So what’s your glitch?”
He blinked at me with those big dark eyes. His eyelashes were longer than mine. It isn’t often I run into a ghost who also happens to be a hottie, but this guy…boy, he must have been something back when he was alive because here he was dead and I was already trying to catch a peek at what was going on beneath the white shirt he was wearing very much open at the throat, exposing quite a bit of his chest, and some of his stomach, too. Do ghosts have six-packs? This was not something I had ever had occasion—or a desire—to explore before.
Not that I was about to let myself get distracted by that kind of thing now. I’m a professional, after all.
“Glitch?” he echoed. Even his voice was liquid, his English as flat and unaccented as I fancied my own was, slight Brooklyn blurring of my t’s aside. He clearly had some Spaniard in him, as his Dios and his coloring indicated, but he was as American as I was—or as American as someone who was born before California became a state could be.
“Yeah.” I cleared my throat. He had turned a little and put a boot up onto the pale blue cushion that covered the window seat, and I had seen definitive proof that yes, ghosts could indeed have six-packs. His abdominal muscles were deeply ridged, and covered with a light dusting of silky black hair.
I swallowed. Hard.
“Glitch,” I said. “Problem. Why are you still here?” He looked at me, his expression blank, but interested. I elaborated. “Why haven’t you gone to the other side?”
He shook his head. Have I mentioned that his hair was short and dark and sort of crisp-looking, like if you touched it, it would be really, really thick? “I don’t know what you mean.”
I was getting sort of warm, but I had already taken off my leather jacket, so I didn’t know what to do about it. I couldn’t very well take off anything else with him sitting there watching me. This realization might have contributed to my suddenly very foul mood.
“What do you mean, you don’t know what I mean?” I snapped, pushing some hair away from my eyes. “You’re dead. You don’t belong here. You’re supposed to be off doing whatever it is that happens to people after they’re dead. Rejoicing in heaven, or burning in hell, or being reincarnated, or ascending another plane of consciousness, or whatever. You’re not supposed to be just…well, just hanging around.”
He looked at me thoughtfully, balancing his elbow on his uplifted knee, his arm sort of dangling. “And what if I happen to like just hanging around?” he wanted to know.
I wasn’t sure, but I had a feeling he was making fun of me. And I don’t like being made fun of. I really don’t. People back in Brooklyn used to do it all the time—well, until I learned how effectively a fist connecting with their nose could shut them up.
I wasn’t ready to hit this guy—not yet. But I was close. I mean, I’d just traveled a gazillion miles for what seemed like days in order to live with a bunch of stupid boys; I still had to unpack; I had already practically made my mother cry; and then I find a ghost in my bedroom. Can you blame me for being…well, short with him?
“Look,” I said, standing up fast, and swinging my leg around the back of the chair. “You can do all the hanging around you want, amigo. Slack away. I don’t really care. But you can’t do it here.”
“Jesse,” he said, not moving.
“What?”
“You called me amigo. I thought you might like to know I have a name. It’s Jesse.”
I nodded. “Right. T
hat figures. Well, fine. Jesse, then. You can’t stay here, Jesse.”
“And you?” Jesse was smiling at me now. He had a nice face. A good face. The kind of face that, back in my old high school, would have gotten him elected prom king in no time flat. The kind of face Gina would have cut out of a magazine and taped to her bedroom wall.
Not that he was pretty. Not at all. Dangerous was how he looked. Mighty dangerous.
“And me, what?” I knew I was being rude. I didn’t care.
“What is your name?”
I glared at him. “Look. Just tell me what you want, and get out. I’m hot, and I want to change clothes. I don’t have time for—”
He interrupted, as amiably as if he hadn’t heard me talking at all, “That woman—your mother—called you Susie.” His black eyes were bright on me. “Short for Susan?”
“Susannah,” I said, correcting him automatically. “As in, ‘Don’t you cry for me.’ ”
He smiled. “I know the song.”
“Yeah. It was probably in the top forty the year you were born, huh?”
He just kept on smiling. “So this is your room now, is it, Susannah?”
“Yeah,” I said. “Yeah, this is my room now. So you’re going to have clear out.”
“I’m going to have to clear out?” He raised one black eyebrow. “This has been my home for a century and a half. Why do I have to leave it?”
“Because.” I was getting really mad. Mostly because I was so hot, and I wanted to open a window, but the windows were behind him, and I didn’t want to get that close to him. “This is my room. I’m not sharing it with some dead cowboy.”
That got to him. He slammed his foot back down on the floor—hard—and stood up. I instantly wished I hadn’t said anything. He was tall, way taller than me, and in my ankle boots I’m five eight.