Finding Strength: A Club Dark Novel

by Reagan Hollow

  Following in behind the ambulance was probably one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. Every fiber of my being beckoned to be beside her.

  But hearing she was going to need surgery nearly gutted me.

  Those six hours she was under were excruciating. Lucky for me, I had the Oregon State Police Department to keep me company.

  The two men who tried to corner me at the motel followed us all the way to the hospital. They allowed me to make sure she was going to be okay, but their patience only went so far before their onslaught of questions began.

  In the end, they got almost nothing out of me but the bare necessities. Lacey’s life was in danger, so I defended her. The rest is all just circumstantial.

  Of course, they wanted to know why we didn’t notify the police immediately, and why it took more than ten men to take one man down. But my lips were sealed.

  They left shortly after, advising me that they will be in touch. Let them. I have nothing to hide. I’ve rid this world of one less scumbag, they should be thanking me.

  My attention shifts back to Lacey and the thought of what we could have walked in on, had we arrived just a few minutes later. Would he have gone so far as to kill her? Yes, I think he would. I’ve seen that look in his eyes one too many times. He would’ve snuffed her out without even thinking.

  The thought makes me sick.

  My head snaps up as the door creaks open. Amber walks inside, bags laying heavy under her eyes. I left her training for her new position back at the club, but called her as soon as I knew Lacey was going to be okay. She insisted on coming straight down.

  “How’s she doing?” She whispers as she gently closes the door behind her.

  Standing from the chair I had placed beside her bed, I motion for Amber to walk back outside. We can speak without disturbing Lacey’s rest in the hallway. Once we’re outside the room, I lead her to a small waiting area right down the hall. I don’t want to be too far from Lacey in case she wakes up again.

  “She’s going to survive. As far as her being okay, I think she’s far from it.”

  We’re seated at a small two-seater table. Amber stands and walks over to the coffee maker set up on a counter in the corner of the room. Someone must have been in here recently as the coffee looks freshly brewed.

  “Would you like some?” She questions. Not answering her question, I take in her appearance, just realizing she’s still wearing the new uniform I had ordered for her. It’s a simple black polo with Club Dark Management embroidered into the upper left part of the chest. She must have come straight here.

  “You should have gone home, Amber.” An expression close to hurt crosses her face. Shit, I didn’t mean it like that.

  “I only meant, you look tired. You should have gotten some rest before coming down.”

  “I’m alright, I had to see for myself that she’s okay.” A tight smile stretches across her features before she adds, “What are the doctors saying?”

  “Not much of anything right now. The fucker stabbed her, so she went through surgery when she first got here. She has some broken bones. Some they could set; others are going to have to self-heal. I’ll let her tell you the rest. She’s got a long recovery ahead of her though, and I know she’s going to need a friend like you by her side.” I draw in a deep breath, feeling weary down to my bones. Yea, her recovery is going to be long. That’s an understatement. Her mind will likely need more time than her body. I’m a total loss there, since I have no idea the state of mind she’s in right now. I guess only time will tell.

  “I hope you took care of that son-of-a-bitch!” There’s no apology in her tone, only anger and rage painted across her face.

  “Let’s just say the only company he’ll be keeping is in the cold confines of the maggot filled soil, which is better than that prick deserves.”

  “Does she need anything?” She takes the seat across from me, nursing the coffee she’s just poured for herself.

  “Actually, I need to make a few phone calls. I don’t want to disturb her, but also don’t want to leave her alone for too long in case she wakes up. Seeing another familiar face when she wakes back up might do her some good,” I say, knowing I didn’t out right ask her to do anything, yet I know she’ll understand what I’m asking.

  “Of course, I’ll go sit with her.” She places her hand on top of mine. The gesture is one of kindness, things I typically shy away from. But with Amber, I find myself accepting her comfort.

  “Are you alright?” She questions, tears in her eyes.

  “I don’t know,” I say before withdrawing my hand. My words are honest, I really don’t know, but to sooth the sting that my withdrawal might have created, I look her in the eyes, saying, “but I will be.”

  After Amber walks back towards Lacey’s room, I give myself a few minutes before pulling my phone from my pocket and making the phone call I’ve dreaded since Lacey came out of surgery.

  “Cory!” My mom shrills into my ear. I wince and mentally prepare myself for this conversation.

  “Hello, mother.”

  “Is everything okay? Do you know what time it is?” Now that her question sets in, I realize that I don’t. I didn’t even bother to look when I pulled her number up.

  Glancing up at the clock on the wall, I see that it's after three in the morning. I feel like such an ass now.

  “No, I’m sorry mom. I hadn’t realized it was so late. I’ll just call you back tomorrow.” Fully prepared to hang up, I begin to pull the phone away from my ear.

  “No sir, you will not. What’s going on, son?” There’s worry in her voice. I sigh into the receiver, not knowing what to say now. Guess I can’t really hold back.

  “We found Lacey,” I begin, “she’s in a hospital in North Oregon.” I hear her intake of breath, but continue. “She’s severely injured, but she’s going to recover.” I release those words on a shaky breath.

  “Oh, Cory. I’m so sorry, baby. How are you holding up?” Until this very moment, I didn’t know just how much I needed to hear her sympathy. The tears come of their own accord, I couldn’t stop them if I wanted to. For years, my relationship with my mother has been rocky. I wasn’t expecting to hear her care. And I was expecting even less to need it as much as I do. I guess it’s true what they say, you’re never too old to still need your mom.

  “I’m trying to stay tough for her, but I’m afraid I don’t know how. She looks so broken and I don’t know what to do to help her.”

  “Oh, Cory. Just be there for her. Everything else will fall into place.” For the first time in a long time, I feel the warmth in her words. My heart gives a squeeze at the years lost between us. “Do you need us to come to you?” She questions.

  “No, mom. But thank you. I’m not sure what I was expecting when I called, but your words have helped so much.” More than she’ll ever know.

  “Your father and I love you, son. We’ve made some mistakes that God only knows we wish we could take back. I don’t plan on repeating history here.” Now I can hear the tears in her voice.

  “I know you do, mom. I’m going to head back in. I’ll call you when we get back in town.” I end the call, putting my phone back in my pocket.

  If I’m being completely honest, I was fully expecting to hear another one of my mom’s you don’t know this girl speeches. I’ve grown accustomed to her ways. She hasn’t been very supportive since her and my dad decided to take off. This new leaf she’s turned is both frightening and relieving.

  I’m relieved that she wants to be a more active parent, yet a part of me still worries they’ll jump ship if things get too tough for them again.

  I guess only time will tell.

  Right now, my focus is on Lacey and her recovery. Everything else will just have to fall into place later.

  Hearing the steady rhythm of my heart on the monitor I’m hooked up to is oddly comforting as I wake with a start. Not entirely sure what startled me, I glance around the room. I feel the panic start to rise as
I take notice that I’m alone. Fear races down my spine; my flesh breaks out in goosebumps. My breaths start coming in quick, tiny puffs as I feel a panic attack creeping up on me.

  I hear a door creak open to my right. The scream I was preparing to let loose, lodges in my throat as my eyes connect with Amber's. She races over to my side, grabbing my uninjured hand beneath the covers.

  “Oh, my God, Lacey! I’m so sorry, babe. I didn’t mean to scare you, are you okay?” Concern is etched all over her face. Embarrassment fills my body as I realize I had overreacted. Cory had said Aaron was gone. Dead! So why can’t I shake this fear that he’s still out there, waiting for his chance to strike again?

  “I’m okay,” I say, giving her hand a small squeeze. I glance behind her to the door she had come through. As soon as my brain connects that a bathroom resides just past that door, the need to pee overwhelms me.

  “Oh honey, you must really need to go. Let me help you.” She says, taking notice of my squirms. I’m glad it’s her here to help me. I’m not sure I can handle relieving myself in front of Cory after being humiliated by Aaron.

  “Thank you.” I offer as she pushes the button on the bed to raise my head. Her arm comes up around my neck, helping me to stand up. She’s careful not to bump my arm.

  Standing proves to be harder than I thought it would be. I find that I can’t straighten myself completely. When I try, it feels as if the muscles and bones in my abdomen are fighting with themselves, both burning and tugging with one another, causing my body to double over in pain.

  Amber takes most of my weight, surprising me with how much strength she’s got packed into that little body.

  “Lean on me, hun.” And I do, slinging my left arm over her shoulder. She grabs the pole holding my fluids with her other hand and together, we manage to make it into the bathroom where she gently sets me down on the toilet. For once, I’m thankful for the simplicity of not having to pull anything down my legs. I’m able to sit, relieve myself, and stand back up without having to do any awkward bending.

  Amber gives me some privacy, for which I’m grateful for. She then helps me back to the bed once I’m finished.

  Getting as comfortable as my body will allow, I try to relax a little.

  “Where’s Cory?” I question.

  “He’s down the hall. I think he’s giving Alex and his team orders. Now that you’re safe, there’s no need for all of them to be here.” But am I safe? I can’t stop the thought from running across my mind.

  “Do you want to talk about it?” There’s compassion in her tone that, for reasons I can’t explain, has my blood boiling. I feel like a broken doll. Will this ever go away?

  “What’s there to talk about? I was kidnapped, beaten, and raped by a man I thought I loved at one point in my life. What more is there to say?” Her gasp fills the room and I watch as her entire body goes rigid.

  “Oh no, Lace, Cory filled me in on some, but he didn’t tell me you were raped. I’m so sorry…” She continues to ramble on, but I’m no longer paying attention. My mind latches onto that one little word and refuses to let go.

  “Hey, Lacey! Come back to me.” I hadn’t noticed her hand on my shoulder until she squeezes a little too hard, causing me to flinch.

  “Please, don’t call me Lace,” is all I offer her. Based off the look on her face, nothing else is needed, she understands.

  “I’m here if you want to talk, sweetie.”

  “When did you get here?” I change the subject. Not really in the mood to rehash everything that has happened.

  “Late last night. I came straight from work.”

  “What time is it?” If she came in last night, why am I just now seeing her? Why wasn’t she here when I woke up?

  Her eyes shoot to something above my head before she says, “It’s just after eight a.m. I think Cory said something about your doctor being back around soon, so he should be back any minute. You were out of it when I got here last night and I didn’t want to wake you.”

  She must’ve showed up after I woke. And I slept all night, yet I don’t feel like it. My body feels like it’s been hit by a Mack truck, but thankfully my head is no longer spinning. The pounding is still there, but I can think without the need to stop the room from going in circles.

  “Thank you, Amber,” I say suddenly, clearly surprising her.

  “Why are you thanking me?”

  “For being here. You barely know me and God knows I’m a mess right now Yet, there you sit. You look like you haven’t slept in days, which is what you should be doing.” I give her a pointed stare.

  She chuckles softly before saying, “Sweetheart, I had to make sure you were okay for myself. True, we may have only met recently, but I feel like I’ve known you my whole life. Some friendships are meant to be instant, and I wouldn’t trade ours for the world.” From the little I know about Amber, I know she’s not the sentimental type, so her words strike a chord with me, causing fresh tears to brim to the surface.

  “Dry them tears up girl, you’re going to have me crying over here and I can’t have the guys thinking I’ve gone all soft.” She laughs and I can’t help but to join in with her, despite the agonizing pain shooting trough my ribs from the movement. Her carefree attitude is contagious and refreshing. It feels nice to have another emotion besides dread, coursing through my veins. I’ve realized I’ve missed her and I’m glad to have her here with me.

  Before anything else can be said, the door starts to creak open, followed by Cory’s head peaking around the side. When his eyes land on mine, he opens the door completely and steps all the way inside.

  “You’re awake!” He states more than asks. My heart gives a gentle tug at seeing him. I can’t seem to find the words to say anything. It’s almost like I don’t even know how to act or what to say when he’s around.

  Am I afraid of what he’ll think of me now? Will he still want me, now that my body has been used and abused? Does he think I’m too much to deal with, but is waiting on the right time to let me down gently? I’m too afraid to ask, I’m afraid I already know the answers.

  When I walk back into her room I try to be as quiet as I can so I don’t wake her. But the moment I step inside, my eyes immediately find hers, the smile lighting her face quickly fading away to be replaced with what appears to be a mixture of hurt and confusion.

  What is she thinking? I silently question. She’s looking at me as if she’s unsure. But what is she unsure of? My heart begins to beat faster at the reality of what she’s been through. There’s no telling the state of mind that fucker has left her in. It’s quite possible that she doesn’t want anything to do with me, or any other man for that matter. That could be what’s causing the confusion that’s so clearly painted across her face. She just might not know it yet.

  I glance over at Amber, but she offers me nothing in way of answers.

  “How are you feeling?” I question Lacey quietly.

  “I’m sore. My body feels like it’s been hit by a freight train, yet it also feels like I’m being weighed down by a ton of bricks.” She answers in a timid voice. I hate what that fucker did to her. It’s almost like I’m talking to a different person right now. Gone is the tough girl I met in my bar that night. You just knew by looking at her, that life had dealt her a shitty hand, but she survived. The girl looking back at me now isn’t surviving anymore. She’s merely existing. If that piece of shit weren’t already dead, I’d kill him all over again.

  “I’m going to give you guys a minute, where’s Alex?” Amber raises from her seat next to Lacey’s bed and starts walking toward the door.

  “Last I saw, he was out back. But he should be in the conference room down the hall by now,” I say without even looking at her. My whole focus is placed on the battered girl laying in the hospital bed.

  I don’t hear when she leaves, but I know the instant we are alone. The air suddenly feels charged. A feeling I’ve never felt before, not even from her, not even during the time she thought I
was holding her captive after she was drugged in my club. I’m not sure what has caused it, but I hope we can figure out how to get past it.

  I drag in a slow, steadying breath as I make my way over to her, choosing the side that’s not currently nursing a broken limb. I take my chances by reaching out, and threading my fingers through hers, my heart beating faster at the thought that she might shy away. I’d fully understand if she did, doesn’t mean it still wouldn’t hurt like a bitch.

  A sigh escapes her lips. She gives my hand a gentle squeeze as tears start rolling down her bruised cheeks.

  “Oh baby, why are you crying?” I question as I reach up and capture one of her tears on my fingertip. She doesn’t respond, but her sobs become frantic and uncontrolled.

  Gently, I nudge her over. Careful not to upset the bandage they’ve placed around her ribs. “Shh, baby. It’s okay,” I whisper into her hair as I bring her head to rest against my chest. I’ve never been much for cuddling. Hell, I haven’t done relationships since Lanna. But with Lacey, I find myself not holding anything back, she’s got me breaking all my rules and I can’t find it in me to care, or a desire to want to stop it.

  Her sobs begin to subside into quiet sniffles. We lay here for a solid five minutes before she speaks, content to just be in each other's company.

  “I was afraid of what you were going to think of me. That you’d see me as sullied and want nothing else to do with me,” she says quietly against my chest.

  “Is that what all the tears are about?” Drawing in a deep breath, I continue, not giving her the opportunity to respond. “Nothing can keep me away from you, Lacey.” I feel her body begin to shake, small little quakes that seem to vibrate throughout her whole body. Afraid of hurting her, I rub my fingers through her hair in a soothing way. Seems to be the safest place to touch with her whole body being so battered and bruised.