Finding Strength: A Club Dark Novel

by Reagan Hollow

  “What’s going on man?” Fuck, I forgot Alex. “Can’t just creep on people man, you’ll get shot.”

  “You’re not carrying, now spill it.”

  “Only thing they’re telling me is that Lacey passed out at the baby shower. She’s on the way to the hospital now. I’ve got to meet her over there.”

  I hope she’s okay. I hope our baby is okay. Above all, I hope some peace can eventually come to my girl. She’s known pain and suffering far too long. It’s time she learns what sunshine and unicorns can do for you.

  Pulling in at Northwest medical, my stomach flips at what I might find. Is my family okay? What’s going to happen to them? God dammit, nothing better happen to them. I’ll tear down this whole fucking hospital, then start over from scratch. I’ll make these people's worst nightmare come to life if my babies are not okay.

  “Name, please.” Says the elderly receptionist. Her badge pegs her as a volunteer.

  “Cory Lewis. My fiancée and unborn child were brought in by ambulance.”

  She clicks away at her computer, not bothering to say a word to us, until she finally looks up. “Please have a seat over there. Someone will be out in just a minute.”

  Great. Because I liked being on edge the whole ride over, just to have to sit in a waiting room full of strangers, also on edge. What a lethal combination. They’ve got less than five minutes to get me an update before I’m hunting her down.

  “Cory, Alex, over here.” Amber comes out of a room and waves us over. We follow her inside. I watch as she buries her face into Alex’s chest, and that’s all it took to send me over the edge.

  “Start fuckin’ talking, now Amber. Where’s my girl?”

  “I don’t know anything new. Only what happened. They took her as soon as we got here and said they won’t talk to anyone but family.”

  “Okay, then. Start from the beginning. What fuckin’ happened.”

  “I don’t know, Cory. I took her to the park like discussed. She sat down for a few minutes, but was good to go. When we got back into the limo I got a peek of her ankles when she sat down, and the fuckers were massive. You could no longer see her bone structure, for sure.” What?

  “Why the FUCK didn’t you call me?”

  “I wanted to, Cory, had my phone out and everything. But she convinced me she was okay. Besides the ankles, she was fine, and it wasn’t affecting her. She wanted to get through the baby shower and said your mother and I would take care of her. I’m so sorry. I should’ve taken better care of her.” Tears are beginning to roll down her cheeks, but I have no time for someone else's emotions.

  “Think, Amber, why is she in the hospital?” My anger is almost to a boiling point. I need some answers now, before someone gets hurt.

  “Dude, chill out. Can’t you see she’s shaken up? Give her a second.” This from Alex, who’s now rubbing circles into Amber’s arm. My vision almost bleeds red at their connection. I’m the one who gave the okay, and here they are flaunting it in front of me while Lacey is laying up in some hospital bed, in one of these rooms, for reasons no one can seem to explain to me.

  Amber pulls away from Alex, straightening her spine and giving us a real show of pulling herself together.

  “You know if I knew anything, I would tell you. All I know is that she got up from opening gifts and said she need to lay down. She wanted me to call you, but I never got the chance. She made it two steps before she passed out. We were lucky your mom was still within arm’s length, because she broke most of her fall. That’s all I know right now, I’m sorry.”

  Dammit, I let my anger get the best of me again. This is not Amber’s fault. She’s been nothing but good to Lacey, and to me for that matter.

  “Thank you, she’s lucky to have you.” She gives me a tight smile. “How do I see her?”

  “They’re assessing her, last they said, but were looking for her next of kin. Someone should be out to speak with you soon, though.” Not a moment later, a tiny lady in blue scrubs and a white lab coat, came walking through the little conference room we were holed up in.

  “Hi, I’m Dr. Shroud, I’ve been overseeing the young lady who was brought in by ambulance. For privacy reasons, could you please tell me the name of the patient and maybe how far along she is? So that I may discuss the situation further.”

  “Umm, yea. Her Name is Lacey Carter and she’s around thirty weeks. Now, can someone please tell me what’s going on? When can I see her?”

  “Few more minutes, sir, who’s her next of kin?”

  “She doesn’t have family. She lost her parents when she was young and no siblings. Her only next of kin would be me. We are engaged and she’s carrying our child.” This damn lady better not play any games with me.

  “Sir, I’m sorry. Without proper documentation, because you aren’t married, you can’t be her next of kin. Now, all the info I can give you without violating HIPAA laws, is that she’s stable. But if she doesn’t wake up, without a next of kin or power of attorney, her care, and the baby’s care, become a matter for the state.”

  What the fuck?

  “Just hang on a damn second, how in the hell can my baby become a matter for the state if I, her father, am standing alive and well right here in front of you?”

  “I’m sorry, sir, but without a paternity test, we can’t establish you as the father until the mom wakes up and consents to it.”

  “Let me stop you right there, we’ve already had a paternity test. And you’re in luck, I have it with me. Alex, please go and get the one and only sheet of paper from my glove box.” He takes off and returns in record time. Holding the single most important paper in the world. The proof that, soon, I will be someone's father.

  “Here,” I shoved the papers into the doctor’s chest, likely a little too hard. But my give a damns are burnt up right now. “This should be proof enough, now take me to my girls, and explain to me what the fuck is going on.”

  After a few minutes of her staring down at the paper, she finally looks up, “Follow me, sir.” Are her only words. We walk for a good five minutes before she speaks again. “You must understand, our patients are most important to us. We take their privacy and confidentiality very seriously. It was not meant to offend you.”

  I don’t respond, even though I do understand what she is saying. I don’t envy her job.

  She takes me all the way over to the east wing, then up to the third floor, where there’s a sign right outside the first door that reads Carter, Lacey. This must be her room.

  The doctor stops me before I can push the door open. “Just a second, Mr. Lewis. We have her safely sedated for the time being. Your girlfriend’s blood pressure was dangerously high when she first arrived. We’re running a few tests, and plan to wake her up in the morning, provided we’ve been able to bring her blood pressure back down to a safe range.”

  “And if you can’t?” I almost didn’t want to ask.

  “Then we’ll have to perform an emergency C-section. That, however, is not our goal here. We’d like to get Miss Carter and the baby safely to term. My team and I will be in and out to check on her, we can discuss our options more tomorrow, once she’s had time to rest.” She shakes my hand, walking away.

  My nerves are a wreck, my heart breaking because once again, she’s suffering and I can do anything about it.

  I push through the door, instantly my ears filling with so much noise. Thinking something is wrong, I rush to her side to find she’s still sleeping peacefully, but there are so many wires coming from her, my heart plunges to the floor. The room is full of monitors and equipment, but nothing is telling me that my girls are going to be okay.

  I look around the room in search of the rapid beeping, to find a smaller monitor just below a bigger one. There’s two sets of numbers on the smaller, both with lines that curve up and down, leading from them.

  “That monitor keeps an eye on the baby's heart rate, as well as the mother's contractions, if she has any.” A female voice sounds from behin
d me. “Hello sir, I am Ellie, Miss Carter’s nurse for the next three hours.” She informs me when I turn to greet her.

  “That’s the baby’s heart rate?” I look back to the tiny screen in wonder. There’s a small heart that blinks to the tune of the beeps filling the room. The number bouncing around the 150’s.

  “That it is, and the other number tells us about the contractions. For example, do you see this little hill here?” The nurse holds the paper leading onto the floor out for me to inspect. Every so often, there’s a little rounded area in the lines running along the paper. They look exactly like she described them, like little hills. “Yes, those are contractions? But she’s not far enough along for those yet, is she?”

  “Actually, contractions can come at any point during pregnancy. These aren’t significant. Matter of fact, if she were awake, she likely wouldn’t even feel them. If she were in labor, or what we call, pre-term labor, then these hills would look more like mountains and they’d be coming between two and five minutes apart, not ten and fifteen.” She walks around to the other side of the bed, checking the bag of fluids attached to her arm and adjusting the blanket tucked under her chin.

  “Is she going to be okay?” I can hear the concern lacing my voice. If I’m being honest with myself, I’m hanging on by a thread right now.

  “I can’t say. But what I can tell you is, in my time in this department, I’ve seen more cases of preeclampsia than I can count on both hands. It has become common for many first-time mothers and their symptoms almost always go away once the baby is delivered. Those with her today did an excellent job making sure she didn’t further injure herself, and acted promptly.” She gives me a warm smile. “There’s a call button on the side of her bed if you need anything. Otherwise, I’m going to finish making my rounds, and I’ll be back to check on her before I leave.”

  “Thank you,” I say, taking her spot on the other side of the bed. Now I have a clear view to the door where no one else can sneak up on me.

  Not a minute goes by after the nurse walks out the door before I hear a soft knock on the door and my mother walks through.

  Ask me in a few days if this ever happened, and I’d likely deny it. But something broke in me at seeing her, my mother… the one who doctored my bumps and bruises as a kid, and stuck by my side when my world became hell after Lanna’s accident. My feet couldn’t carry me fast enough to her side as I barreled into her, almost knocking her off her feet. I hold nothing back, as I drench her shoulder in my tears.

  “Thank you,” I’m finally able to choke out. “For so much, thank you.”

  “Oh Cory. She rubs gentle circles into my back. “She’s going to be okay, baby.”

  We stand there for who knows how long. Her whispering motherly reassurances in my ear, me letting loose all the tears and emotions I’ve held back for so long.

  I only hope she’s right and eventually we can all wake up from this nightmare.

  Sleep never found me, not with the nurses constantly walking in and out. Checking her for this and that. Her blood pressure was checked every thirty minutes. To begin with, the numbers are on the high side, but around one in the morning, it dropped to 125/60. The nurses say that this is a good sign and they have plans to wake her up soon.

  That was six hours ago. So much has gone wrong since then.

  She was still sleeping soundly around three am, when her monitor started to sound off. Moments later, her room is full of doctors and nurses. Her blood pressure had shot back up to 170/80. I felt dazed, like my world was spinning, yet I was standing completely still.

  The doctor was yelling orders, something about checking her protein levels, a very confusing statement for me. Eventually, I was pushed out the doors, a sense of urgency in the air.

  “Mr. Lewis, Miss Carter is spilling way too much protein into her urine. It’s a sign that her kidneys are shutting down. Unfortunately, we are going to have to perform an emergency C-section. I will have someone show you back to the consultation room, I urge you to please stay there until we come for you.” The doctor from the day before rushes through her explanation before a smaller, older lady with a pink vest, grabs me gently by the arm.

  “This way, sir. My name is Barbara. I’m a volunteer here.” I let her pull me away, my body now on auto pilot. I feel numb.

  What the fuck just happened? It’s all going so fast, I can’t seem to catch up.

  Back in the small room I was in yesterday, I find Amber and Alex asleep on the small sofa across the room. They don’t look comfortable. They both jerk awake as the door shuts behind me.

  “Oh, my God, what happened?” Amber shrieks as I collapse into an empty chair. I don’t even have the energy to explain.

  What are they doing to her right now? Is she okay? What about my baby? It’s too soon for her to be born. Is she going to make it?

  It’s that thought alone that has my hands tangling in my hair and a scream of frustration coming from my throat. I can’t take not knowing what’s going on.

  “Cory!” Amber screams at me.

  “Talk to me, man.” Alex pulls a chair up beside me, his calm spreading over me. I don’t want fucking calm right now.

  I jerk to my feet, kicking the chair back and out of my way. Pacing the floor, I throw my hands in the air. “They’re taking the baby, right now. One minute, she’s doing better and the next, her room is overflowing with white coats. They made me fuckin’ leave.” Why did they make me leave?

  “Oh, no. What happened?” This from Amber.

  I shake my head, grabbing the chair from across the room and setting it back at the table, sitting myself down once again. My emotions are all over the place. I know I should calm down or I’ll risk being thrown out and that shit’s not going to happen.

  “I don’t know. Her blood pressure was starting to come down. The doctor was going to try waking her up so she could discuss a treatment to get her to term. But then it all went to shit. Her blood pressure went higher than it’s been yet and the doctor said something about her spilling protein and kidneys shutting down. That’s about all they would tell me.”

  Ambers hands slam over her mouth, her eyes fill with tears. “Are they going to be okay?” She chokes out on a sob.

  “They better be.” That’s all I can offer. Truth is, I don’t know if they’re going to be okay or not. I don’t know a damn thing about what she’s going through.

  It’s just after seven a.m., we finally got word from one of the nurses that both Lacey and the baby were fine and the doctor was going to come speak with us soon.

  I’m pacing the floor again, too on edge to sit still. It’s taken everything in my being to remain inside this room. Not knowing what’s going on with my girls is the worst kind of torture, and not scouring this hospital to find them has been difficult.

  The doctor finally walks into the conference room, pulling out a chair from the table and taking a seat, gesturing for all of us to do the same.

  Amber and Alex make their way over and sit with the doctor, I remain standing.

  “I’ll begin by saying, both the mother and baby are going to be fine. We moved your daughter straight to NICU where she’s being evaluated and once we are through there, you’re welcome to go see her and speak with the team there. She’s very tiny and will likely be here a while before she’s stable enough to go home.”

  “What about Lacey? Where is she?” I’m torn. Part of me is screaming to let me out of this room so I can go check on my woman, the other part wants to run straight to my baby girl. My little Kinsley.

  “She’s in recovery and should be moved to a regular room any moment. She’s in stable condition, though it may take a few weeks for her blood pressure to go back to normal. It shouldn’t climb nearly as high. She does have a three-inch incision on her abdomen that will take about four weeks to heal. She’ll need to take it easy.”

  “When can I see her?

  “Maybe another thirty minutes to an hour, but you can go see your baby now. I h
ave an armband that identifies you as the father, all other visitors are going to have to check in first. And please keep it to two at a time.”

  “Thank you, for everything.” Amber’s small voice comes from beside me. Her head is buried in Alex’s chest, silent tears rolling down her face.

  The doctor places her hand on top of Amber's. “There’s no need to thank me. I enjoy my job. Life is precious.” She stands, stretching her arm out to shake Amber and Alex’s hands, “It was nice meeting you, sorry it was under these circumstances.” She then turns to me, “If you’ll follow me, I’ll take you to the NICU.”

  I take the opportunity to pull myself together as well, making the long walk from one end of the hospital to the other. I remember hearing that babies can sense your emotions and being upset can potentially cause them to be upset. I never want my baby girl to be anything other than happy. Realistically, I know that’s impossible, but I’ll do everything in my power to make it true.

  We come to a stop outside of a door with a tiny square window towards the top. There’s a plaque to the right of the door, labeling the room inside the NICU or the Newborn Intensive Care Unit. The doctor slides her badge through a reader to the left of the door. We hear a subtle click and the tiny red light turns green.

  She opens the door and allows me to walk ahead of her. To the outside, the room appears small. But once I walk inside, I’m surprised with how large the department is. And the babies, there are so many. There are cribs and incubators stretched out all throughout the room. At least twenty of them. It’s overwhelming.

  “This way, Mr. Lewis.” The doctor leads me to the back corner of the room to an almost private area. There are two cribs and an incubator back here. I’m instantly drawn to the incubator. My heart plummets the moment I get a look inside at the impossibly small human resting inside.

  “Cathy, this is Mr. Lewis, the father to our newest arrival. Mr. Lewis,” she turns to address me but I don’t remove my eyes from the baby, my baby, I’m sure of it, “This is Cathy, she’s the charge nurse of this unit, and can bring you up to speed.”