by Susan Hayes
“Dani?” Dave called her name softly, the gentle words barely registering. “Dani, sunshine, it’s okay. I’m not mad at you.” He reached for her and she flinched away from his touch.
“Damn it,” he swore under his breath, then did the last thing she expected. He dropped his hands and took a step back. “Is that better?”
Mortified, Dani nodded but didn’t lift her head. Tears of embarrassment and shame stung her eyes, tears she didn’t want him to see. “I’m sorry. I feel so stupid.”
Dave stayed where he was, giving her the space she needed. “There’s nothing you need to apologize for or feel stupid about. No one goes through what you did without being affected in some way.”
“You’re not him. I know that. I shouldn’t have reacted that way. It was stupid,” she said, still fighting to calm her breathing and stop her fingers from shaking.
“No, it was instinct. Nothing you had control over. Why don’t you sit down and I’ll bring the coffee in a second. You didn’t put milk in yours yet.”
“How do you know I take milk in my coffee?” she asked, finally lifting her head.
“The same way you knew I take mine black. We’ve been watching each other for a while now. It just took a little time for us to get here.” He gave her a lopsided smile and shooed her with his hands. “Go, sit. I may be a hopeless cook, but I can certainly manage coffee.”
By the time she was curled up on the large, overstuffed leather couch that took up most of the living room, Dani was feeling more like herself. Dave joined her quickly, setting down her mug and claiming the spot directly beside her so they were snuggled together. He draped his arm around her shoulders and coaxed her in even closer, so her head was nestled into the curve of his shoulder and there was no space between their bodies.
“Better?” he asked.
“Better,” she said.
“Good. I know I told you I wanted to talk about Bobby and what you saw tonight, but before we do that, I think you deserve an explanation for why I reacted that way to your jest.”
“You take your work seriously and I was making fun of it. Nothing to explain.”
“Not even close, sunshine.” Dave sighed. “We’ve talked about your ex. I think it’s time I told you about mine. Her name was Jeanine, and she was a badge bunny…only I didn’t know it until it was too late.”
Chapter Seven
Dave hadn’t intended to share his past with Dani so soon, but now it felt like the right thing to do. She’d shared so much of her life and pain with him. It was time to return the favor.
“What the hell is a badge bunny?” she asked, looking utterly perplexed.
“You have no idea how happy it makes me that you don’t know what that phrase means.”
“Not a clue, but now I’m curious.”
“Badge bunnies are women who have a thing for cops. They want to sleep with us, date us, and some are even determined to marry us. They think the whole uniform and handcuffs thing is sexy as hell.”
Dani burst out laughing. “Wait. You’re telling me there are cop groupies?” She fluttered her lashes at him, still giggling. “Hey baby, what’s your badge number? You’re so hot you can arrest me anytime—oh!” She stopped as she repeated nearly word for word the phrase that had set him off before.
“Exactly.” Dave nodded as he watched understanding dawn on her face.
“So you married someone who was turned on by what you did for a living. It sounds like a good gig. What happened to change that?”
“The reality didn’t live up to the fantasy. We met when I was in the academy. I wasn’t on the streets for six months before we were engaged, and we got married not long after that. By the time she realized what life would be like for her, it was too late to make a quick exit.”
“What life would be like for her? You make it sound like being married to you was a hardship.” Dani put her hand over his. “What’s so bad about being in love with a cop?”
“Long hours. Shift work. Being married to someone who spends more time with their partner than their spouse. It takes a toll. So do the secrets. We’re all bound by oaths of confidentiality. We can’t talk about so much of what we see, and what we can talk about… God, I didn’t want to taint her with that kind of darkness. I wanted her to be protected from all that.”
“She didn’t understand?” Dani prompted, still holding his hand.
“Not at all. I wanted to be able to come home to a haven where work didn’t exist. That’s what I thought my parents had created, and I wanted the same thing. Come through the door, leave the world behind and just have my wife and maybe a family to watch over. When I realized it wasn’t going to work, I tried to talk to her, but once she started to hear about my job, she begged me to stop talking about it. Said it was too depressing. Too scary.”
Dani sniffed disdainfully. “And here I thought I was the worst at picking marriage partners. What the hell did she think it was going to be like marrying someone who wore a gun to work every night?”
“I really don’t know. I asked her that more than once and she never gave me a decent answer. By the time it was over, I was convinced she didn’t really know what she wanted. She just knew that what we had, wasn’t it.”
“Please tell me she married a nice, safe insurance broker, or maybe an accountant and died of boredom.”
He laughed at that. “He’s a nice, safe dentist.”
Her fingers tightened on his. “I’m sorry she left you, but honestly, I think you deserve better than a woman like that. I know you’ve been divorced a long time, so tell me what happened. Something must have, or you wouldn’t have stayed single all this time.”
The words weren’t easy to say, but he was determined to tell Dani all of it. “She lied. We were supposed to be trying to start a family. God, I wanted that. A family of my own, kids and a wife and all the things my parents had. We kept trying, and she kept telling me that it was the stress of worrying about me that was stopping things from happening. She was convinced I was going to get hurt or killed out on patrol. She became obsessed with the idea that I wasn’t going to come home one night and she’d be a widow.
“Finally, she tells me she’s pregnant. Taken the home test, it’s positive. She’s going to go to the doctor to confirm next week, but she’s sure. I was over the fucking moon I was so happy. Then she blindsides me and tells me that she’s afraid that all her worrying about me is going to mess with the pregnancy. She asks me to think about quitting the force and finding other work. Something safer. I think she thought I’d be so happy she was pregnant that I’d agree to anything, and I nearly did. I would have given up so much for her, but I’d wanted to be a cop my whole life. We talked about it for days, but in the end, I couldn’t quit. I believed I could do what my dad did, balance work and family.”
“I know what that’s like. Bobby pushed me to give up my job completely. He said he wanted me home like a proper wife and mother, but the truth was he was trying to control me. He used Casey to guilt-trip me the same way your wife used her pregnancy to try and force you…” She frowned. “Does this mean you have a child? I thought you didn’t have any kids?”
“I don’t. When I said she lied, I meant she lied about things no decent human being would ever consider lying about. She was never pregnant. Hell, she was still on the fucking pill the whole time I thought we were trying to start a family. Once I told her that I wouldn’t give up being a cop, there was a huge fight and she went to her parents’ for the night.”
He never let himself think about the end of his marriage, never mind talk about it. Even after so many years it was hard to revisit it all without feeling the pain and anger all over again. The only thing that made it bearable was Dani. Her presence soothed him. He paused to press a kiss to her brow, then finished the tale.
“We talked a few more times, but she wouldn’t accept anything less than me quitting, and I couldn’t understand why she would marry me knowing what I did and then demand I change. Once it
was clear it was over, she confessed about faking the pregnancy. Once I knew what she’d done, there was no going back. A better man might have been able to forgive her, but I couldn’t.”
“You’re one of the best men I’ve ever known. What she did was unforgivable,” Dani said a bare second before she shifted in his arms and kissed him.
He hauled her into his lap, craving more of her touch. He wanted to feel the warm weight of her body in his arms and breathe in the vanilla-and-cinnamon scent of her skin. As he let himself get lost in her kiss, the truth struck him square in the chest, leaving him stunned. He needed Dani in his life. She’d somehow become a source of light, chasing away the shadows and bringing color back to his monochrome world.
She’s going to be mine.
He reached between them to cup one of her breasts in his hand. The hard nub of her nipple pressed into his palm through the light fabric of her dress, and he shifted his grip so that he could stroke his thumb across it. She moaned at his touch, the sound vibrating against his tongue as he swallowed her soft sounds of pleasure. If a simple touch spurred such a passionate response, he had to wonder what would happen when he had her naked underneath him. The thought fired his blood and turned his cock to stone.
“How well does Casey sleep?” he asked when he next slowed their kisses to catch his breath.
Her kiss-swollen lips parted into a knowing smile at his question. “Not well enough for what I think you’re thinking about.”
“Someday soon, I vote we take my mom up on her offer to watch Casey.” He nuzzled her cheek, inhaling her scent again. “Fuck, you make me crazy. I haven’t made out on a couch with a pretty girl since my bachelor days.”
“I’ve got news for you. These are your bachelor days. You’ve been single for years, and you don’t cook. I bet there’s even a TV the size of a Buick in your living room complete with a killer sound system. You are living the dream, my friend. No kids, no wife, no curfew. Staying out late on Friday nights and sleeping in on the weekends.”
He shook his head. “That stopped being my dream a long time ago.”
“If that’s not your goal, then what is? Youngest man to ever become the chief of police?”
“If you’d asked me that question a few months ago, I might have said yes, but not anymore.”
Her eyes widened and for a second he wondered if she would ask the question she clearly wanted to, or if she’d let the moment pass. The tip of her tongue peeked out to wet her lips before she spoke.
“So, what do you dream of, David?”
He looked into her beautiful eyes and gave her the only answer he could. “You.”
****
Dani felt the impact of his answer all the way down to her soul.
Her head whirled with responses and she struggled to find the words to express what she was feeling. Panic, hope, fear, joy, even laughter at the idea that someone like him could possibly think he wanted her in his life. He was gorgeous, ambitious, and successful. She was too fat, working as a glorified fry cook, and had a daughter whose father was a sociopath.
Logic told her not to read too much into this moment. She didn’t even know if she was staying in Chicago yet. There were too many unknowns. She should take a breath and step back from the edge she suddenly found herself standing on.
The hell with logic.
“You don’t need to dream about me. I’m right here,” she told him in a voice that trembled a little.
He stared at her with a look so intense she could barely breathe. “But will you be here tomorrow or the day after that? Next week? I’m not talking about this moment, but all the moments that come after. You and me, and Casey, too. Building something together. I have no fucking idea how it happened, but that’s what I’m dreaming about.”
“You’re crazy to want to be part of the madness that is my life. You know that, right?” she asked, still dazed by his confession.
“I could say the same to you. I’m a cop, Dani. Granted, my time on the streets is pretty much over, but my job is still dangerous. I work strange hours and there will be things I can’t talk to you about, even though I want to.” He gave her a lopsided grin. “Not to mention the fact that I’m a notoriously cranky bachelor, at least according to my family.”
She laughed. “I think your family is wrong about you. And your job doesn’t scare me, David. I’m a chef. That means I also work long hours when most people are home with their families. We can figure that out. And while your job may be dangerous, I’m the one with a crazy ex-husband stalking me.”
“What you’re saying is that we’re both a little crazy.” He moved one hand from its perch on her hip to glide down her thigh until he reached the hem of her dress, then beyond it so that he was caressing the bare skin above her knee. “I’m good with that. I think maybe I need a little crazy in my life.”
“Then you’ve come to the right woman,” she said, trying to ignore the flutter in her stomach as his fingertips continued to draw sensual patterns across her thigh.
“You know, I really think I have.”
He moved his hand a few inches higher, stroking the sensitive skin of her inner thigh, and she had to bite her lip to avoid moaning out loud. Her pussy was already slick with desire, but now his touch was making her wetter still. She glanced over his shoulder toward Casey’s closed bedroom door and made her decision. Dave wasn’t the only one who needed a little crazy in their life. It was time she let go, at least a little. Without a word she shifted in his lap, letting her thighs fall further apart as she leaned in and kissed him again.
This time he was the one to groan.
His answering kiss was demanding, a primal claiming that stole the breath from her lungs and banished every thought from her head. Breath mingled, bodies melded together, both of them seizing the moment before it slipped away. She already had enough regrets in her life. This time she wasn’t going to let something good pass her by.
His hand reached the barrier of her panties, tracing the seam of her lips through the wet fabric. She rocked her hips up, increasing the pressure against his hand. Her clit ached with the need to be touched, a relentless throbbing that grew stronger with every passing second.
“Fuck. You’re killing me here, sunshine,” was all the warning she got before Dave withdrew his hand from between her legs to grab her waist and lift her into the air, turning her at the same time.
Before she could form words to protest she was back in his lap, this time face to face with her legs on either side of his muscular thighs. He ran his hands up her legs, pushing her dress up to her hips. He caught sight of her panties and groaned in approval at the barely there covering of pale yellow lace she’d elected to wear tonight.
“I like these,” he informed her as he traced his fingers over one frilly edge, following it from the curve of her hip down to the slick folds of her sex.
He slid a finger between the lips her pussy and she shivered in delight at the sensations that simple touch unleashed. She draped her arms over his shoulders to help her balance, then thrust her hips forward, grinding herself against his touch. He tugged her panties to the side and added another finger to the first, forming a “V” and using them to stroke the length of her pussy while her clitoris was trapped between his fingers. The long, slow strokes stoked the fire growing inside her, every touch causing new tendrils of pleasure to unfold deep in her core. She started riding his fingers, and when he drove one thick digit deep into her channel, she had to fight not to moan out loud.
“You are so fucking sexy, Dani. Damn, I could watch you do this forever. That’s right, you take what you need so you can come. I want to see that. Fuck, you have no idea how much I want to see that right now.” His voice was little more than a husky whisper, but his words inflamed her, ratcheting up the heat between them.
“You like to watch?” she asked, stroking her fingers through his blond hair. It was the closest she’d been to him, and for the first time she noticed there were a few gray hairs mixed i
n with the blond ones.
He lifted his head so that their gazes were locked. “I do. There is nothing so sexy as watching a woman, my woman, orgasm.”
Her pussy tightened at his confession, gripping his finger hard, and he gave her a knowing grin.
“Do you like to be watched, sunshine? Does that get you off?”
Her face was burning with embarrassment, but she didn’t deny the truth. “Yes.”
His eyes shifted color as she watched, turning a brilliant green that eclipsed the brown completely. “Is that one of the fantasies you’ve been having about me?”
When she didn’t answer right away, he slid a second finger into her channel and started strumming her clit with his thumb. “It is, isn’t it? You’re getting wetter just thinking about it. Talk to me. I want to hear what you’ve been dreaming about.”
God help her, his dirty talk was turning her on even more. And given the way he was looking at her, he was half out of his mind, too. What would he do if she told him the truth? Would he break?
Let’s find out.
She moved in closer so that their lips were almost touching. “I dream about you. I’m at work. It’s late and I’m the last one there. I don’t know you’re even there until I turn around. You don’t say anything. You just pull me close and kiss me.”
He fucked his fingers in and out of her pussy as she spoke, fingers curled the perfect amount to hit her pleasure spots with each thrust of his hand. “What else do I do to you?”
“So much,” she whispered, struggling to find breath enough to speak. “Somehow we end up in the front of the bar, both of us tearing at the other’s clothes. We don’t speak. We don’t need to. The bar is dark, and it’s night outside, but there are people on the sidewalks. They’re walking by and don’t know what we’re doing just a few feet away. You and I are just far enough back they can’t see us easily, but I can see them, and if they were to look closely…oh, oh God…” She broke off her description as her orgasm loomed, making it impossible to think.