by V. Vaughn
I speak into his neck. “Nope.”
“Damn, I’m good.”
Brindle moves to sit up, but I don’t slide off him. He chuckles and lifts me into his arms. “Let’s try this again in the bed.”
I inhale the salty musk of us as he moves and let out a small noise of contentment. My mate’s strong hands lower me gently onto the mattress. The soft cotton of my quilt is cool under me, but I’m not even close to cold. The warmth of being in heat is radiating off my skin, and when Brindle lets go, I whimper for his touch.
He crawls over my prone body and lowers his mouth to my ear to whisper, “You can’t live without me, can you?”
I speak in the same volume. “No. Touch me.”
“Baby, I could never resist those curves.” He kisses his way slowly down my breast and nips the peak, making me quiver in anticipation of more. “This time, we’ll take it slow, Katie. I’m going to show you why you’re mine.”
CHAPTER THREE
As much as I need sex with Brindle, I know it’s a bad idea. I slump down against the painted concrete wall to the vinyl floor of the hallway. I’m guarding the bathroom in my all-girls dorm so he can shower. The smell of our musk wafts up from my bathrobe, and my insides twinge. I wonder if I could convince him to stay for the next seven weeks, because I want to do him again even though we barely got any sleep last night, and I’m sore as hell.
I raise my head to the snap of flip-flops and see Jen coming my way. The shower squeaks as the water stops running, and I nod my head in the direction of the doorway. “Boyfriend from home. He’ll be out soon.”
Jen swings her bucket of toiletries and grins. “That’s why you’re so antisocial. Must be love.”
I shrug because I don’t really want to get into what we really are.
The clean scent of soap can’t hide the musk of Brindle from me when he exits the bathroom. As I stand, I notice he’s wearing a towel slung low on his waist, and that sexy V of his incredible body is on display. Jen doesn’t hide her perusal of him and gives me a conspiratorial wink. “I wouldn’t go out either if I had him.”
Brindle grins and curls a finger into the opening of my robe to yank me against his naked chest and wrap his arm around my waist. I place my hand on his firm pecs, and the heat sears my palm as he says, “We don’t go out because she keeps me chained to the bed as a sex slave.”
I decide to play along, sort of. “Now there’s a thought.” And just to get Jen fueling the gossip mill with something more fun than what a loser I am, I add, “The handcuffs are in the bottom drawer. I’ll be back in a few minutes.”
I’m rewarded with Brindle’s baritone laugh as I turn away to enter the bathroom.
When I return to my room, the metallic clunk of the door sounds when I shut it. Brindle comes up behind me and places his hands on my hips. The lock clicks, and I turn to lean back against the cold metal. He’s naked and aroused when he asks, “Boyfriend?”
“It was the easiest thing to say. Would you rather I said friends with benefits?”
“Admit it, you still love me.”
I push against his rock-hard torso, and he steps back. “Like I have a choice. Look, I really appreciate you helping me out with my problem, but this doesn’t mean we’re back together.”
Brindle frowns slightly before his face relaxes, and he reaches for the tie on my robe to pull gently and release it. “Friends with benefits works.”
I wonder what this is costing him, and my stomach clenches with my guilt. I let the terrycloth garment fall open, and a flush of heat envelops my body as I shrug it off and nod. So much for being satiated.
***
I’m supposed to be at class, but our morning romp lasted longer than I expected, and we’re lounging in my bed. My body is warm with a feeling similar to the afterglow from eating a good meal. Brindle is leaning up on his elbow, and I reach up to move a lock of hair out of his eyes. “I like it longer. You’ve got a Chris Hemsworth thing happening here.”
He puffs his chest out a little. “So you’re saying I’m hot?”
I grin. “Yes, you’re hot. You always have been.”
Brindle traces the edge of my face. “And you’re still the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen. We’re really good together, Katie.”
Sexually, yes. But being trapped in Winter Valley for the rest of my life scares the hell out of me. At first, I was honored to help the pack have children. I know Brindle was obligated to find a human mate, and choosing me was a big deal because he gets only one in his lifetime. But once I changed into a werewolf and realized what I had done, I couldn’t get away fast enough. I wanted to return to normal. How’s that working out for you, Katie? Not so well, unfortunately.
I don’t let anyone get close to me in case I shift by accident. I should have learned to control it when I was first changed, but one time was enough for me to know I never want to be a wolf again. That little problem rules out drinking and being in situations that could go wrong in an instant, like the frat parties everyone flocks to on weekend nights.
Being pegged as a loner seemed like a good idea last fall. But now, it’s depressing. “Brindle, I...”
He sits up. “No pressure. I know you’re not coming home.” He climbs out of bed, and I watch his fabulous butt flex as he walks across the room to his bag. “Now that we’ve solved your problem, I should get out of here and let you get back to your life.”
I shiver a little without his heat next to me. “Just like that?”
“Just like that.” He zips up his jeans and thrusts his crotch at me. His eyes twinkle as he says, “Same time next year?”
I look closely but don’t think he’s masking his pain. Sweet baby Jesus, he’s taking this well. Too well. I wrap my arms around myself to cover my naked breasts. “Sure. Maybe I’ll see you around when I’m home this summer.”
“Yeah, that would be fun.” Brindle is finished getting dressed and slings his backpack over one shoulder. He pauses at the door with his hand on the knob. “Take care, Katie.”
“You, too. Thanks.” I watch him walk out, and it’s as if a piece of my heart goes with him. I want to cry out, “Wait! Don’t leave me all alone.” Instead, I tear up and hate myself for not being able to give Brindle what he deserves.
I climb out of bed and find a pair of yoga pants and a long-sleeve T to wear. Economics class is in less than an hour. I should probably shower, but I want to keep Brindle with me a little while longer. I glance at the unused box of condoms on my nightstand, and my stomach sinks. I may have a piece of him with me for the next nine months.
CHAPTER FOUR
Being stubborn has its advantages and disadvantages. Today it’s a disadvantage, because I would love to just pack up my car and drive home instead of finishing my semester. Once Brindle left me, I poured myself into my studies in an effort to pass my classes. And to keep my mind off the aching need to be near him again.
I plop my backpack down with a thud on the floor next to my carrel. Exams start tomorrow, and I need to do well. I’ve chosen the quiet third floor where only the serious studier goes, and students sigh in exasperation at the noise I made. Jen pokes her head out of a cubicle in annoyance, but when she notices it’s me, she smiles. Apparently, I’ve become cool because I have a sexy boyfriend back home. Not that my social life has picked up much, but the girls from my floor do sit with me at meals now.
My mind wanders to Brindle, and I reach down to my bag. The zipper hums softly as I open it, and my fingers find the slick plastic case of my cell phone. Still no reply from him. I texted yesterday telling him I’d be home in a week and wanted to get together. Last night, I convinced myself his phone was dead and that’s why he didn’t answer, but this morning, I’m not so sure. I’m worried he might have moved on.
Two months ago, that’s what I wanted. But ever since he came to visit, I can’t get him out of my mind. I’m ready to face my indisputable love for him and hope we can come up with a plan. Because the empty feeling I have
is almost as bad as my insatiable need for sex during heat. My throat tightens at the idea of Brindle with someone else, and I blink back tears in an effort to calm myself.
Just get through finals, Katie. I set my phone down next to my laptop so I can see a text the moment it comes in. One finally does, but it’s from my high school best friend, Devon. She was the perky blond cheerleader while I was the nerd, and I’m grateful for her loyalty. We shared just about everything with each other, but our relationship took a hit when I discovered Brindle was a werewolf and decided to become one, too. It was a secret I couldn’t share.
But she was right there for me when Brindle and I broke up last summer, and while she didn’t know what was really happening, she helped me get back on my emotional feet so I could take off for college.
I open her text to a quick video that makes me laugh. She blows me a kiss and says, “Can’t wait to see you!”
Devon stayed home and went to beauty school. Now she’s opened her own hair salon, and my fingers tap lightly when I reply, “Do I get to see your new shop?
“Of course. Want highlights?”
Her text makes me smile. She was always doing something to my hair and giving me makeup tips. I have no doubt a couple hours with Devon will rejuvenate more than my appearance.
“Yes. I’ll call when I get home.”
Devon replies with happy emoticons.
I manage to get a good afternoon’s worth of studying in, and I’m at dinner when Brindle finally replies. Swallowing my bite of pasta, I frown at his one-word answer. “Sure.”
“Trouble in paradise?” asks Jen.
When the conversation at the table goes quiet, I realize she’s talking to me. “What? Oh.” I shake my head. “Brindle’s not one for words. He confuses me.”
Jen’s roommate Kara says, “All men confuse me. You can go on a long rant about something, and they’ll just look at you like you’re insane and say ‘Okay.’ It makes me crazy.”
I nod with a smile and fork more spaghetti into my mouth. I’m probably overreacting. My emotions are raw lately, and it’s not like there’s much to say about me wanting to get together anyway. Even so, my eyes fill with moisture.
Jen says, “Hey, you look like you’re about to cry.”
I blink quickly. “I’m just really tired, and it’s making me an emotional mess.”
“I’m totally stressed about finals. I could cry with you,” says Kara.
I offer her a small smile. “I think we need ice cream.”
Jen’s fork hits her plate with a clatter, and she says, “With lots of hot fudge.”
We get up to clear our trays and then head over to the dessert station. When we’re done, Kara asks me if I’m going back to the library. It figures. Just as I’m thinking about leaving this place forever, I start to make friends.
With full bellies and a sugar rush, we return to the library, and I leave a social Kara on the first floor while I go to the third floor carrels for another study session. I take it seriously because if I have any hope of rekindling things this summer with Brindle, I can’t risk having to return for summer school.
I’m deep into supply-chain theory when someone’s hot breath on my neck startles me. The guy’s voice whispers, “Busy later?”
I whip my head around to see a dark-haired guy who looks vaguely familiar. “Ah...”
“Jared. We didn’t do a whole lot of talking the other night, but I couldn’t get you out of my mind.”
He licks his lips as if he’s preparing to kiss me, and a girl hisses, “Shhhhh.”
Piss on a pretzel. It’s the lacrosse player from last weekend. “Right. About that.” Now another person hushes us, and I stand and motion Jared to follow me.
When we reach the stairwell, he cages me against the wall with his arms. “How about a quickie right here?” He grinds his erection against me as I grimace and push against his chest. His body is rock hard and no doubt in amazing shape. “That’s hot, right?”
“No, that’s not hot.” Jared doesn’t take the hint and grips my butt. I grab his hands and pull them off. “Look, I was really drunk the other night, and I shouldn’t have attacked you that way.”
“No, baby. You rocked my world.” He lowers his mouth to my ear. The odor of garlic is on his breath, and it turns my stomach. “Now I’m going to rock yours. I’m going to fuck your brains out.”
I huff. “While I’m sure that line works with most girls, I need every brain cell I can get to pass my finals.” I slide sideways against the rough wall to get away from him, but he grips my shoulders before I can get away and kisses me.
Nothing pisses me off more than a guy who doesn’t understand no means no. As anger flushes my face, my wolf begs to be let loose. I tamp down the desire to shift and shove Jared off me. His body flies across the stairwell and slams against the concrete wall before he slumps to the floor.
Holy freakiness. I’ve got superhuman strength, and my wolf enjoyed that. Hell, I enjoyed that. Jared moans and asks, “What the fuck?”
“I said no. Maybe next time you’ll listen.”
I straighten my shirt and compose myself with a deep cleansing breath before pulling open the door to the third floor. For the first time since I was changed into a werewolf, I like my new state. I revel in my power for a moment before I return to my studies and do my best to erase Jared from my mind.
CHAPTER FIVE
I remember the summer I went away to overnight camp. The day I returned home, everything felt right again. As I drive down Main Street in Winter Valley after finishing my freshman year of college, the same feeling returns, but it’s multiplied times ten. I’m breathing easier, as if the oxygen is thicker here, and my body feels more relaxed, as it does after a massage. I pass by Sullivan’s hardware store on my left and remember buying supplies to build a birdhouse with my dad. I glance over at the pharmacy where I recall buying my first tampons.
Tampons. Holy mother of women, I’m late! Like really late. I should’ve gotten my period three weeks ago. I’m tempted to stop and buy a pregnancy test, but this is a small town, and my parents would know before I even got home. I pound my fist against the plastic steering wheel and hit the horn by accident. Two girls walking on the sidewalk glance over at me, and I wave as if I know them. They wave back, and I imagine they think I’m crazy.
This morning, I texted Brindle that I’d like to see him tomorrow and asked what time he was available. But just like last time, he hasn’t replied. Fortunately, after dinner with my parents, I have plans with Devon. I’m meeting her at her new salon to celebrate my friend’s accomplishment and that I’m home for the summer.
My house is about a mile from town. I drive slowly along a street filled with small family homes. Most have flower gardens in the front, and the display of color is a hint of what will come with warmer weather. Excitement about seeing my parents again builds in me. My father meets me in the driveway, and he’s happy I’m home, too.
When I get out of the car, he greets me with a big hug. “Katie, it’s so great to see you.”
Birds are chirping, and I say, “Dad, it’s really good to be here.”
Dad releases me and holds me at arm’s length. “So how were exams?”
I sigh. “I did the best I could, Dad. But I’m afraid you’re going to be disappointed in my grades.”
The hatch of my small car squeaks open, and my father reaches in to grab bags. I load up with as much as I can carry, and he asks, “Why’s that? Were your classes too hard?”
“No. I’m not sure I was meant to live far away. I’ve been so homesick, and I found myself not concentrating the way I should.”
Before we can talk more about the subject, my mother runs out and embraces me. “God, I’ve missed you. Please tell me you plan to stay for the whole summer.”
I smile and hug her tightly. She smells of the rose-scented lotion she wears, and my heart is full with love. “I’ll be here all summer. I promise.”
“Good. I’ll even
let you get away with a messy room just to keep you here as long as possible.”
We enter the house, and the aroma of garlic and basil makes my stomach growl. “Did you make me lasagna?”
My dad chuckles. “She’s trying to bribe you into staying forever.”
“You just might get your wish, Mom. I was just telling Dad how homesick I’ve been.” My dad has gone out to my car to get the last few things, so I plop myself down on the sofa. My mother sits next to me and takes my hand. “If you really feel that way, it wouldn’t be hard for you to transfer to Winter Valley University.”
Tears fill my eyes, and I wonder if my recent inability to keep from crying is because I’m pregnant. “Right now, I think that’s a really good idea.”
My mother hugs me tight. Her voice cracks when she says, “Baby girl, I want whatever makes you happy.”
Being the only child, I have a close relationship with my parents, especially my mother. And I think she was lost when I left for school. With me being so far away, we no longer got to spend stolen moments of time catching up on the little things in our lives. It’s a luxury I really missed. I pull away as hot tears roll down my cheeks, and I smile at my mother, because she’s crying, too.
I grin at her and say, “We’re kind of pathetic.”
“No, honey, we’re special. Not every mother and daughter get along as well as we do.” She stands and straightens her slacks. “Go put your things in your room and get settled. I’m going to go check on dinner.”
The fifth wooden stair creaks when I step on it, and it makes me smile as I climb up toward my bedroom. I walk in to the odor of lemon furniture polish and glance over at my grandmother’s four-poster bed to find the wood gleaming with my mother’s hard work. She did miss me.
I flop on my bed and bounce on the mattress as I stare up at my ceiling. I roll to my side and glance at my nightstand. A picture of Brindle and me at prom is in a frame, and I grab it. I trace the outline of my ink-blue dress, and the glass is smooth under my finger when it hits me that it’s probably the last picture of me as a human. Because that night, I was changed into a werewolf.