“Following this logic, if I were to kill you they’d never belong to me. Once I decided to spare your life, I thought that through our Contract I’d be able to attain what I wanted. The fact that your tears burnt my skin was proof enough that you’d never been with a man, and we all know how Humans have their hearts connected to their bodies, and their Souls connected to their hearts. That’s how, over time, many Humans have been corrupted, and many of us have stolen Human Souls.”
I thanked the weak light of the day that painted the sky in tones of orange, yellow and purple, helping me disguise my embarrassment. Gabriel seemed unfazed as he went on.
“I thought that by having your inexperienced body I’d easily reach your heart and, from then, force my way to your Soul to steal the source of your light. Just as promised, I wasn’t going to steal your life, not even your Soul. I did consider the possibility that you might cease to be a Gaalgha, that you might recede in the scale of Human evolution, but that would only have meant you’d need to live a few more lives until you catch up again.”
I hugged my own arms, suddenly feeling cold. Gabriel was watching me in silence, his white skin becoming even paler as the world around us slowly plunged into darkness. The absence of an expression on his face froze me inside. And I knew that if I wasn’t able to recover from that, he wouldn’t speak again.
“I would never ... have been the same ... again,” I managed to whisper and he remained serious.
“I know. Besides breaking you, you’d probably suffer as Stephanie did. There isn’t a Human able to withstand the touch of a Shedim without starting to desire him deeply. You can say that we’re almost like a drug.”
I dug my nails into my arms, making sure that, at least, I’d be able to sit there and listen. As hard as it was to hear those words in his soft, velvet voice, those were the answers to all the questions that had crossed my mind since that terrifying night. That was his truth.
“Still, at that point, I couldn’t care less,” he went on. “I wouldn’t be sticking around to see it, anyway. But then Michael appeared.”
The way he said his name was different from Alexander’s open, undisguised hatred, but somehow scarier.
“And you, near him, seemed to shine. I found myself asking how was that possible. Because your relationship was completely different from the other Human relationships that I’d observed. Besides, I knew you were a Gaalgha and that because of that you shouldn’t be able to express your feelings with such intensity. I wondered which part of you really loved him and, no matter how much I told myself that such things didn’t concern me, I was unable to simply ignore it, as I should have. Finally I came to the conclusion that your Soul somehow accepted the feelings of your heart regarding him, and so allowed you to manifest them.
“I realized that these were the only moments where you were truthful, and the empty expressions you gave me when you weren’t wallowing in terror started to ... annoy me,” he noted with an ice cold smile. “I’m not used to not getting what I want. Likewise, there’s nothing that I want that I’m not able to acquire. And I found myself wanting to see the truth in the gestures and expressions you gave me. And was only when I realized just how much that desire had became essential that I understood just how much I’d strayed from my true nature.”
The brief silence that surrounded us made me feel even more nervous. He was still watching me as disbelief washed over me. And the wave of happiness that his words brought me glued back together the small piece of me that he had broken just moments ago.
“I knew I’d end up doing something really stupid if I stayed. And so, when we went after Telane and my Brother, I decided to heed Sigweardiel’s constant warnings and rid myself of your presence.”
Pain again, even sharper than before, stole my breath away. All I had to do was recall that lost time to forget all other fears and doubts. Anything was better than that emptiness, that silence from within.
“I was willing to extend our Contract indefinitely, until I found a way to dissolve it. I told myself I had enough power to ignore it, even if it were fulfilled, although the mere thought alone made me restless. I occupied my mind with other things, like the war and the possibility of victory, and tried to look away from your frail mortality to contemplate my obviously long life. I told myself that before I could notice it a hundred years or so would have gone by, and by then you wouldn’t even exist in this world.”
Since I’d talked to Jonathan, I’d been painfully aware of the time factor that would always keep us apart. But hearing it in his velvet voice was strangely distressing. He laughed lightly, almost as if mocking himself.
“In the end it didn’t even take me a month to be back in your living room,” he said. “Of course, I immediately justified my presence with what had happened. It all had been an accident and I was there only because the Circle was there, and it would help me to heal faster. But, even so, I wished I could stay, even though I didn’t allow myself to wish it. And I was about to leave again when you asked me to stay.”
And he still sounded like he couldn’t believe it, I noticed, even after the numerous discussions we’d had about it.
“I could hardly contain my fury!” he continued. “After all the work I’d been through, after all the time it’d taken me to convince myself that I should allow you to live your life. But then, more than fulfilling your wish, I fulfilled mine. Sure, there are all those arguments and all those explanations about why you changed your mind. Sigweardiel tells me that you’re lonely, that in reality it’s not my presence that you wish for, but simply the presence of someone able to see who you really are. The truth is I don’t care. Besides my wish to stay, your Soul doesn’t break into pieces when I’m around anymore. And I’m still ... confused about why that simple, insignificant fact pleases me so much — that a mere Human Being is able to sit beside me.” He laughed again. “And so I couldn’t help losing my temper when all that disappeared just from hearing you talk to Michael on the phone. I reprimanded myself for allowing myself to forget, even if only for a few moments, just how unstable my mood can get, and how dangerous that instability can be. So I decided I should keep my distance while telling myself I should leave like before and, at the same time, unable to throw away what little I’d been able to conquer.”
The deep flow that was his voice made another pause and I recalled just how much his attempts to avoid me had deeply annoyed me.
“But today ... today that Soul of yours that rejected me so bluntly rose in my defense. And although I tell myself that I don’t care for reasons, I can’t help wonder why ...”
I sat quietly and averted my gaze, disturbed by his constant observation. I asked myself if he expected an answer and tried to find something to tell him. Part of me wanted to be as honest as he’d been, but my dark, critical voice kept reminding me of just who we were.
“I think you’ll be able to see it, now.” I heard his casual voice and looked up, intrigued. I watched as he stood up on the narrow ledge, his figure lean and tall against the twilight sky. His skin was even paler now, the wind playing gently with his hair. He took a deep breath, opening his arms wide as if to embrace the whole world and, unexpectedly, colorful reflections shimmered far away. I immediately turned back, looking at the shadowy horizon, and watched as the colorful lights spread all around us in a huge circle, shimmering and gleaming in a transparent wall that rose from the ground to high up in the sky. It was beautiful, I thought with a smile, almost like a strange aurora borealis, and I noticed that contrary to what he’d had lead me to believe, the circle wasn’t quite round, having some straight lines and corners, here and there.
I sighed feeling a bit more relaxed now and played with the golden ring that I found in my pocket and that freely swirled around my finger.
“Sometimes, and as ridiculous as it may sound, I think you’re like a child that has just discovered a new world,” I said. “I see you full of curiosity and questions, even though you never express them out loud. And
I can’t help wondering ... what will happen once all your questions are answered. When there’s no more novelties. Maybe you’ll get bored. You’ll probably look for another, more interesting, world.” I looked up at him, certain that he would be watching me again. “This used to bother me, but now I tell myself that it’s OK, since I can only live in a moment at a time.”
“Same as me,” he said softly. “I also don’t know the answer to any of those questions.”
I smiled and took a deep breath, determined to change the subject.
“So, beyond colorful barriers, what else can you do?” I asked, sitting up straight, and he laughed lightly.
“It’s easier if I tell you what I can’t do,” he stated, smuggish, and I gave him a suspicious look, as he nimbly jumped off the ledge. “Now, let’s see, I cannot read your mind, or control your heart.” He had lowered his voice at the last part, and my cheeks caught on fire once again.
“I know already,” I pressed so he would go on with it, and his teasing smile told me he’d done that on purpose.
“Well, I also can’t bend time,” he told me and that left me curious.
“Time?”
“Yes. I can’t travel to the Past or to the Future. I also can’t manipulate it or stop it.”
“And space?”
“Oh, that one is easy.” Before I could understand what had happened, a black door appeared in front of him. He walked towards it without hesitation and entered it, disappearing only to reappear coming from another door a few steps away.
“That door ...”
“Gateway,” he corrected me.
“Unites these zones together?”
“Yes. As if they were next to each other.”
“But it’s different from when you disappear.”
He nodded, immediately disappearing from where he stood, leaving that thin rain of small black glitter in his place. He appeared again right in front of me, careful to always keep the safe distance.
“To disappear like this,” he explained, “what I do is to break down my own body into very tiny particles and send them through space at a speed faster than the speed of light.” I nodded, resting my chin on my hand.
“What about making other things appear?” I asked.
“Like what?”
“Hmm. I don’t know, a field of flowers!” I decided, looking for something more difficult than a simple object. But, as soon had I said the words, the old white tiles were covered in a green mantle from where dozens of small tiny flowers blossomed all at the same time.
I blinked in amazement and touched the grass growing at my feet, feeling it alive and fresh. There was a sweet smell in the air and I couldn’t help notice how delicate those flowers were, their small petals dancing with the wind.
“It’s beautiful,” I murmured, still caressing the grass, and looked at him. “Did you take this from somewhere? Or did you just create it?”
“In this case, I created it. However, the result would have been the same. These flowers will soon wither and die. I can materialize things, but I can’t give them life. A Deiwos can never give.”
“Only take,” I added. “That means you can take a life. But doesn’t it also mean that you can take death away?” I mused.
“Not necessarily,” he replied and looked away, telling me that that wasn’t something he would like to share with me.
“Then, if you take death from someone, won’t that someone be alive?”
“No. It may even move, maybe emit sounds, but it won’t be alive. It will just be not dead.” I shuddered as I understood what he meant. “We also don’t give death, since it would be giving. To us death means total annihilation. So when we kill someone, we’re taking away their own existence.”
“But, unlike you, Merifri can give,” I stated, waiting for a confirmation that didn’t come. “Does that mean they can give life and death?”
“Yes.”
I thought about it for a moment.
“When I see it like that, I can hardly say what we usually say, that Merifri are good and Deiwos are bad,” I concluded and he looked intrigued. “It almost sounds more like Merifri are good and evil, and Deiwos are … neutral.” He seemed stunned for a split second and then broke into laughter, startling me. It was the second time I heard him laugh like that, so simply and spontaneously.
“And this coming from a Gaalgha!” he declared and went back to laughing, making me frown at his condescending tone.
“What does being a Gaalgha have to do with anything?!” I demanded and Gabriel looked at me and, although his lips were still smiling, his eyes were cutting hard.
“Gaalgha are Merifri in human shape,” he stated in a whisper and I recalled what Alexander had told me.
“I don’t feel like one at all!” I countered and looked away pouting. There was nothing he wouldn’t use to reinforce the barrier between us.
“Well, that’s good to know.” His murmur sent my heart into another suicidal run and I quickly went back to our previous issue.
“What about Magic?” I asked and he smiled that crooked mocking smile that told me he had noticed my escape.
“Yes, of course.”
“Like those black flames?” I insisted, recalling what I’d seen that morning.
“No. That’s different. Those flames are the same as your white lights.”
“Your Soul!”
“The power of my Soul, if you can call it that.”
“But won’t using it burn through your vital energy?”
“Even if it does, I’ll never notice it.”
“I see,” I muttered, carefully placing all those new pieces of information in their respective places on the greater puzzle-like picture that was my life at the moment.
“Anything else?”
I smiled, pleased that he was finally willing to answer my questions and searched the inner chambers of my mind.
“Um, how fast can you really move?” I asked and he sighed, as if he’d hoped that I’d answered him no.
“Faster than you can see.”
“Hmm, what if you wanted to go around the world. How long would it take you?”
“I don’t know. Never tried it before. There are much more interesting and comfortable ways to travel,” he replied and I couldn’t help smiling at his ‘interesting.’
“But would you need to stop to rest? Or could you do it in one go?”
“I’d probably need to rest at least two or three times,” he calculated. “Ah! Another thing I cannot do,” he claimed, making me jump. “I can’t duplicate myself. So I can’t be at two places at the same time.” I smiled maliciously.
“Now that’s reassuring. Two or more of you would be really hard to endure,” I confessed and his expression became slightly threatening. “Can I ask something?” I asked, squeezing my hands together, uncertain of how he’d react to my request. He seemed to notice my anxiety and his expression became more serious and slightly apprehensive.
“Ask.”
“Show me your true form.”
He was like a statue again, completely motionless; only his hair would gently move as the wind played with its dark strands.
“Why?” The word escaped his petrified lips and I found myself nervously playing with the ring that loosely embraced my finger.
“Because the only time I really saw you was when I evoked you. But now it will be different,” I replied, unable to find any other suitable arguments.
“No, it won’t,” he replied, his voice sounding even colder. “Because I cannot release my physical appearance without releasing part of my presence as well. It will expand all over this place, and even if you tell yourself you’re not afraid, it will still be a very real threat to your existence.”
I stood up, the muscles of my legs throbbing and complaining from that insignificant movement, and shivered when the wind blew in my ears. Even so, I raised my head and faced him with all my strength.
“Maybe yes, maybe no. But don’t you want to know?” I
asked and he averted his gaze.
“I’m fine with the way things are,” he said.
“Liar!” I accused him, raising my voice, and took a deep breath pushing my sudden anger away. “I’m not!”
“Mariane,” I heard him whisper my name as if he was appealing to my good sense, and I clenched my hands into two tight fists, frowning, forbidding myself to be dragged by the power his voice held over me.
“And stop using my name to control the way I feel!” I added for good measure. “What are you afraid of?”
He looked at me and his fierce gaze filled with a deep restrained fury that almost made me take a step back.
“You stupid Human!”
“I’m here, am I not?”
“Only for now!”
“I am here!” I insisted, easily raising my voice over his, and he sighed in defeat, allowing his fury to wash away.
“Just stay there then,” he muttered bitterly and took a deep breath as if to gather courage.
I watched as he slowly closed his eyes and, moments later, his short hair rose in the air, as if the wind around him had grown stronger. I blinked to make sure I was seeing right, and the soft dark strands grew, inch by inch, but at a very much abnormal speed, until they fell over his shoulders, sliding over his shirt down to waist length. I immediately felt the difference in the air. It was as if he’d stepped closer to me, although neither of us had moved. My body was now shaking, as always happened when he stood beside me, and yet, as unpleasant as it may be, that was a sensation I had grown used to. Gabriel looked defiantly at me and his violet eyes locked on my shaking hands.
Blood of the Pure (Gaea) Page 60